My Waking Nightmare
by God-of-goats-loves-books
Summary: Set after MR3, Max accidentally causes Fang to leave the flock one night but after 4 years they find each other again. How will the flock react? How will Max and Fang deal? FAX
1. My Waking Nightmare

_Chapter 1 _

_Her Waking Nightmare_

_I was floating, floating over clouds coasting over California, looking for . . . hell; I didn't know what I was looking for. I guess I'd know what it was when I'd found it._

I shot up from my sleeping position on the undergrowth. I was breathing heavily and for some unexplained reason I was absolutely terrified. Something was wrong. Trust me when you've spent your entire childhood running away you know these things. I did a 360. Where was Iggy? He was supposed to be on watch! Yeah, I know what you're thinking, it's your fault Max you put the blind kid on watch, what kind of idiot tells a blind kid to watch something! But to be perfectly honest, Iggy was by far one of the best watchmen we had, I mean, no offence to me or Fang, but in a hearing contest Iggy would kick our cute little behinds. But super hearing or not Iggy was nowhere to be seen.

"Iggy, are you there?" I whispered. I was beyond worried now, I was getting frantic.

_I was circling around looking for__ . . . whatever it was I was looking for, when I saw it . . . or rather them. The flock were all sitting on the top of a nearby cliff. I had found them, my family. I called out to them but none of them moved. I thought maybe they just hadn't heard me, so I yelled again. Nothing. Baffled I tried to get below the clouds and stop floating and circling but I couldn't get any lower, I just kept being pushed back. _

I snapped my eyes open. It had only been a dream, just a dream, only a dream. Hold on, a dream while I was awake!? What did it mean? Had it meant anything? And where the hell was Iggy!? Ok, ok I had to try not to wake the others up. I was thinking hard about this. If I woke Fang he would just think I was being weird. Plus I was still pissed at him over the fight we'd had over who got first watch, which Iggy took in the end. If I woke Nudge or Gazzy it would only upset them and they wouldn't be much help. If I woke Angel perhaps she could sense Iggy's thoughts but I couldn't turn a 6 year old into my own personal sniffer dog! And let's face it I wasn't even going to consider waking Total. I looked around. Still no Iggy! I made my decision.

"_Guys, it's me Max" I screamed at them. Still nothing. It was as if . . . NO . . . but I realised they still hadn't moved an inch since I'd spotted them. They weren't moving and now that I had begun to think about it they were lying in really uncomfortable positions on the ground. Suddenly I was getting closer, the clouds were moving out of my way and I flew down__. I managed to get close enough to see them clearly and I almost puked. So much blood, so many feathers. Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, there was no way any of them could have survived, I was going to be sick I was trying so hard not to cry and scream and puke and run away all at the same time. I opened my mouth._

I almost screamed but I remembered just in time not to wake the others. I checked them all just to be sure. Gazzy and Angel were sleeping facing each other with Total in between. Nudge was bunched into the nook of a tree, squirming and shifting but otherwise fine. Fang was near Nudge's feet sleeping on his back with his arms around his chest for both extra warmth and extra protection. I would have smiled if I hadn't been so worried about Iggy and terrified of the connotations of my waking nightmare. I was going to follow my first plan. Find Iggy myself and hopefully get back before any one noticed I was gone. So I took a short run, unfurled my wings and took off above the canopy. I mean there was only so far a blind boy could go right? I circled there for a few seconds trying to spot anything when I thought I saw a dash of colour under the trees to the far west. Please let this be him I kept thinking, please let my poor blind brother be alive and well. I ducked down under the trees and spiralled just slightly out of control when the image of the flock in pieces pierced into my brain again. 'Must find Iggy' I thought, 'Must find Iggy'. I used that thought to block the image from my head, to shut out the dream that wasn't a dream. I couldn't think about it, I would break down and above all right now I could absolutely not afford to break down.

_Fang's blood pouring out over the dusty desert ground. Mixing with Gazzy's and spilling into Nudge's. Tumbling over rocks to spread beside Iggy's lifeless body and dye Angel's blonde hair to a blood red. Lapping finally to rest at Total's deformed and twisted mass of fur. The ground stained with the hybrid blood of my family. My flock. The only people I had ever truly loved._

Shut up me, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP. I wanted to die. It was all so realistic, the slashed wings, the twisted limbs, the gashes running up and down their bodies. I started to shudder uncontrollably and my wings snapped shut to my body. I fell hard onto the ground and tumbled into a tree. I tried to stand but my legs fell out from under me and I ended up on my knees. A tear rolled down my cheek, followed by more and more falling down the sides of my face. I started to mutter and it became a prayer. I didn't believe in God but I was hoping and wishing someone was listening. 'Let them live, make it all be a dream, where's Iggy, save them, save them all, forget me, don't save me, save them, save my family.' When I had begun to babble incomprehensibly I collapsed to the ground and I started to shake harder. I was beginning to choke on my tears. I could feel the brain attack starting. I tried to cry out but my voice was already gone. The pain. I just wished it could all stop. Kill me now, I thought, please kill me now but please God, let them live. Let them live, let them live, let him live. "Him?" someone said, but it was too late, I had already passed out.

**Hi guys, well I'm not going to beg for reviews but I would like a few as regards my writing style because I'm not sure if this entire chapter works. I'm going to update the next one when I finish writing it because it still has some tweaking to be done but yeah I would totally appreciate some good constructive criticism. By the way, that him at the end? I think we all know who she means (and I SWEAR if anyone says Iggy I will be so angry)! Ok bye until I figure out my next chapter. If you read that too which would suggest you had to like this chapter so yeah that would be really good! Cat **


	2. What Would Fang Do

**Ok, just before I start, to avoid complete and utter chaos and confusion, I am explaining now****, that this next chapter is Fang NOT Max because I needed to make a character change to make the scene work. Unlike the original grand master James Patterson my Fang stuff will be in the 'I' persona the same as Max because I need to show what's going on in his head all the time. Also, Iggy is NOT dead and neither is Max, just so everyone's clear on that. Thank you T-Mos, kaylormonkey, hawkiesbaby0703 and inukokoro your comments made me feel all warm inside, right now, you're my favourite people in the universe! Now, on with the story.**

I sat up silently and looked around. The others were all still asleep but someone had touched me to wake me up. I glanced around for what could have woken me. When I realised it I almost smiled. Nudge, whose feet were right next to my side, had kicked me in her sleep. Figures. I decided, since I was already up, I would offer to take watch. I opened my mouth to tell Iggy, when I noticed. Iggy wasn't there. I stopped for a second, just to gather my thoughts. Where would a blind, winged, hybrid, fourteen year old guy have gone in a forest, in the middle of the night, while he was on watch? It certainly wasn't like Iggy just to wander off without telling anyone.

I turned to check the rest of the flock. Angel and Gazzy were curled up facing each other with Total in the middle. Nudge was sleeping tucked between two roots of a tree with her feet twitching and Max was . . . my breath caught in my throat. No Max. Mo Max and no Iggy. No signs of a struggle anywhere. What if Max and Iggy . . . NO I would have noticed wouldn't I? Surely she would have said something to me about it if they were, wouldn't she? But they wouldn't just leave me here to watch the flock to go make out or something and not warn me would they? Would they?

My brain was starting to hurt. But what if they were in trouble? But I couldn't leave. Not now. I was the oldest member of the flock still in the clearing. There was no possible way I could leave Gazzy, Angel and Nudge alone. They could be attacked, or get hurt, or get sick and they'd be on their own with no one to help them. Even if they didn't get hurt and Max ever found out I'd left them alone she'd flay me alive. If she ever came back. No, when she came back, when not if! I had to think positively or I'd go mad. Where the hell was Iggy? How far could he have gone? Where was Max? Was she with Iggy? Why weren't they here? Why didn't they tell me?

My insane paranoid ramblings were cut short when Iggy walked obliviously back into the clearing. He sat back down on the log in the middle of the clearing, while I stared incredulously at him. When I realised that he couldn't see my face I shook my head. Stupid Fang of course he can't see you. So I jumped at him, grabbed his shoulder and hissed "Where the hell have you been?"

He started but then his face went from fear to recognition. "Fang." I barely heard him mumble as if telling myself who I was. Then he got angry.

"I had to use the bathroom, get a grip"

"Max is gone" I growled.

"She's what?"

"She's gone"

"Where?" He looked lost.

"I was about to ask you." I muttered through clenched teeth. Oh God, Iggy didn't know, Max was gone and nobody knew where. Max was gone.

"Watch the others" I managed to spit out and I took off, straight into the air.

I looked down over the forest. Unlike Iggy, Max wasn't blind she could be anywhere by now. But what I couldn't figure out is why she went at all! Itex was gone, Ari was dead and Jeb was . . . apparently good, so I could cross off kidnapping. Max must have left of her own accord. But why? Why Max, why? Then I remembered that fight we'd had before bed. We'd been so angry at each other we hadn't even tapped hands before going to sleep and now she was gone. I couldn't believe it had only been over who took first watch. It hadn't even mattered anyway because Iggy had taken first. This was so stupid! If this was because of me I was going to be absolutely devastated but she'd never know. I would never show it. If it turned out I was hurting Max I had to go. I'd leave the flock because I couldn't have her hurt because of me, it would kill me. The flock needs Max. If anyone should leave it's me. The flock doesn't need me. If this was my fault I would leave. Max had to stay with the flock no matter what but I was expendable. I wasn't their mother. I had no abilities. I was unnecessary. I was redundant. But first before I could leave I had to find Max and bring her back to the flock. I had to find her. I kept scanning all the tree tops. I was losing hope when suddenly I saw it, a hole in the canopy, an unnatural hole, a max-sized hole. I tucked in my wings and dove through it and there she was, lying on the ground ahead of me, unconscious.

Oh God, Max! I checked her bones weren't broken then I turned her over. She was out cold; her face was drawn and pale. Oh Max, what had I done to you. Somehow in my brain I had already come to the conclusion that this was my fault. I was going to make this right and then I would leave. I couldn't sleep without knowing she was near without hearing her breathing. I didn't think I could live without her. But I would leave because this could never ever happen again.

**Ok thanks again to everyone who reviewed****. I'm really enjoying this story so I'm going to continue whether you like it or not! Lol, did anyone else notice that my Fang is kind of like Nudge in his head!! He thinks a LOT. He just keeps going and going. It's easier to write though so I'm going with it. I'm thinking of doing every second chapter with Fang because it will develop my story better would you guys be ok with that? Or do you dislike this rambling mind that could possibly be difficult to read? I could really use some feedback on those questions. So if you think you have an opinion let me know. Cat**

**(Ps I was on a high in my karate class from those reviews so thanks again you guys are so nice!)**


	3. Am I Conscious Again Yet?

**Ok, hi again everyone. This is nice. Ok the next chapter is once again Max. I'll decide what to do about the next chapter later but I'm pretty sure I will go with the Fang every second chapter idea because it will develop into a better story. This will be the last chapter I'll be able to post for a week because I'm going camping for a week, and I will have, yes you guessed it, absolutely NO internet access whatsoever! I know really bad timing but it's been planned for aaages and I'm missing my summer job to go so I'm losing money by going as well as my sanity but I will be back and I will finish this story! Thanks again to all my reviewers and I'm sorry if some people don't like Fang. Although most of what I got was asking for Fang not to leave and I apologise but he really does have to go BUT I promise he WILL come back, because I love Fang. Sorry I'm getting carried away so on with the story!**

I started to come to but what I saw made me think I was dreaming again. I almost laughed. Fang's face was hanging over mine looking worried. Actually showing emotion, all over his face. Not just in his eyes or a tight jaw, I mean seriously he looked like he'd completely lost the plot. No wonder I thought I was dreaming. Then my eyes closed again and I felt his hands on my neck feeling for my pulse. Wait, you can't feel dreams can you?

"Max?" I heard, "Max stay with me now, come on."

I had to say something. I had to tell him about Iggy not being at camp. Didn't he know already? Didn't Fang come from camp? Who was minding the youngsters?

"Iggy" I managed to cough but I felt him stiffen.

"No, it's Fang" he muttered and moved away. I heard ripping noises and he came back with a strip of cloth and wrapped it around the cut on my head.

What? Of course it's Fang. I know that what's up with him? I had to make him understand somehow.

"I know Fang," I choked out "Iggy's not at camp, the little kids-" I started to cough heavily.

"Careful Max," he put his hand out to stop my head hitting a rock, "you need to relax. Iggy is fine; he went to take a leak. Why you're out here on your own is what I want to know-" he was starting to get angry. That was a big sentence for him.

"I-"I started to cut him off to try and explain, but he just put his finger against my mouth.

"Shhh, it can wait" he whispered "don't talk, you'll waste what little energy you have." There was yet another big sentence, Fang was on a roll! But he was right. His face wasn't as obvious as before. In fact, to the untrained eye, it was decidedly impassive. But I had known him for so long; I could still see he was worried by the tight lines around his eyes and the way he held his jaw, so I nodded.

I felt a few drops of water on the top of my head. I looked up. Fang had noticed it too. It was beginning to rain. So we could cut out flying back to the clearing (you have absolutely no idea how unpleasant it is to fly in the rain and not just unpleasant but close to impossible, no way could Fang fly us both through the rain and I couldn't fly it, jeez I could barely talk!). We were going to have to walk. Fang thought about it for a second.

"Ok," he decided "I want you to go to sleep but before you do that I need you to tuck in your wings so I can carry you back to camp ok? So I'm going to lift you into a sitting position and you try and tuck your wings in."

As Fang had already realised and to my complete and utter mortification, when I had crash-landed earlier, I hadn't even thought about pulling my wings in before I passed out and they were still sticking right out. Anyone coming along could have seen me. I was beyond mortified. What I'd done was dangerous.

I nodded to him again to show my approval of the plan and he put his hands on my shoulders and gently lifted me up to a sitting position. I began to tuck my wings in but they were bruised and some of my feathers slightly askew from when I hit the tree. I couldn't get them in close enough though I was still too tired. Then Fang reached over.

"Here" he said and propping me up on his left arm he used his right hand to smooth my feathers down and gently coax my wing closer to my back. I shivered involuntarily and he froze with a pained look on his face.

"Fang?" I whispered and he looked at me. Our faces were much too close together. "Are you ok?" He nodded and pulled his right hand around to my shoulder; he put his left arm under my knees and picked me up. He started to walk back to the clearing.

"Relax" he said quietly "Get some sleep, it's a long walk."

I nodded and closed my eyes. I was just starting to doze off when the image of Fang dead on the cliff flashed before my eyes. I cried out and clung to him. Fang just held me a little tighter.

"It's ok" he whispered, "it's just a bad dream, relax Max, go to sleep, I'm watching out for you get some sleep." And I did. But not before thinking how lucky I was to have Fang.

A small girl watched to couple from the shadows, her curiosity drawing her to follow them but her fear holding her back. She shook her head in wonderment at the stupidity of the two. They obviously felt something for each other she thought. It was in the way they interacted and she had heard the girl's last words before passing out _'Let him live'._ With great difficulty she turned away from the empty scene and melted into the shadows.

**Ok, that was a special little scene. I apologise for the shortness but it had to end there and the next one will be longer. I hope. Did anyone understand that bit at the end? I know I didn't. But remember that voice at the end of Chapter 1? That was originally going to be the Voice, but then I remembered Jeb was good so there is no Voice anymore. So I am attempting to explain it away with a new character. She has no name yet but she will eventually come back into the story. If you think of a good name for her let me know. ****Thanks again all, Cat**


	4. I'm a Hawk

**Ok everybody, it's Fang again. He's not quite as rambling this time I don't think but he will be thinking a LOT. This will definitely be the last chapter I update until next Saturday. But I think it will be REALLY short because I have like half an**** hour to write it update it and pack my bags. My OC character will be back but not for a while. Just before I start I have a note for kaylormonkey – I haven't decided yet or not but thanks for the idea there's a good chance I'll use it. Now, on with the depressing bit that nobody wants to happen that has to happen to make the story good later. I swear Fang will come back. Enjoy!**

I picked Max up and started to walk back to camp. She was finally starting to get some sleep when suddenly she screamed and grabbed the back of my shirt. She was having a bad dream. I tried to calm her down by whispering in her ear and I felt her muscles begin to relax again. God, she really wasn't making this any easier for me was she?

I relaxed into a good walking pace and started to think over what had happened since I'd woken up to find Max gone. I had attacked one of my brothers and basically accused him of leaving his post (which he had by the way, but a bathroom break is fair enough, we've all done it before), had freaked out in mid-air about something, which is an absolute no-no, (being completely out of it while in an open area is a bad idea when you're a walking talking science experiment) and I had touched Max's wings. That was the weirdest thing. I mean, I know people without wings wouldn't understand but wings are kind of, well private. Yeah I know that sounds weird seeing as their right out there and everyone else can see them all the time, but you know, nobody touches them. At least, nobody touches mine. Sure, every now and then an Eraser will grab a wing or hit off it and sometimes when Gazzy and Angel play fight they use their wings as extra fists, but nobody puts out a hand and strokes your wings. I mean I hadn't ever thought about it but now I realised just how intimate that was. I had never touched anyone's wings but my own. Until now. My wings were sleek, black and pretty stiff almost like a hawk's, but Max's were softer, more like a robin's. That was actually a pretty good description of Max. Max was a robin, brave little birds, agile and intelligent, but when a robin is hurt, although it's sturdy, it's weak and its pain is its weakness. I was more like a hawk, fast, sleek and emotionless, a predator. The problem with this theory? Hawks hurt robins. Robins are the hawk's prey. That was why I would only ever hurt robin. That was why she shivered when I touched her. Her natural instincts told her to be afraid. It would never work between us. No matter how much I wished I could be a robin too, I was a hawk. I was the predator, so I was destined to be alone. Destiny sucks.

I walked back into the clearing with Max still in my arms. Iggy had heard my coming and walked over to check we were both ok. I felt bad that I had worried him earlier but I had been afraid. His face was holding the question he wasn't sure he wanted to ask.

"She's fine" I told him, "We're both fine" and he visibly relaxed and returned to his log. I went and lay Max done next to Angel and Gazzy as far away from Nudge as possible I couldn't have her wake up before my resolve failed. I fetched my rucksack and searched through it for a paper and pen and I began to write the hardest letter of my life.

When I was done I stood up. Iggy looked up at me and I walked over to him. I handed him my scrawled note

"Give this to Max when she wakes up." I said

"Why?" he asked he looked sad.

"I'm g-" I started but he stopped me by putting his hand in the air.

"I know you're going. What I asked you was why."

I sighed, "Because I'm a hawk." And my oldest brother stood up and hugged me.

"I still don't understand," he said "but I'm gonna miss you man."

"I'll miss you too Ig." I said but my voice was starting to crack, "Tell the others I said goodbye and . . ." I struggled to say it ". . . give them my love."

He smiled. "Even Max?" he asked

"Especially Max." I replied

"Of course." He smiled sadly

"Goodbye Ig." I said unevenly, shaking his hand.

"Goodbye Fang" and then I took my rucksack and walked away, grateful for the fact that Iggy hadn't been able to see the tear that had rolled down my face when I had said goodbye.

**Ok so my Fang is fairly emotional in his mind. His whole head is constantly in turmoil. Lol he is a silly, silly boy. But I think James Patterson never really develops Fang's friendship with any of the other members of the flock. His kind of focuses on Max which is fair enough but it leaves Iggy a bit out of the loop. So here I had a touching little scene between the almighty emotionless Fang and his blind brother. ****For any of you interested in what Fang wrote in his letter, tune in next chapter when Max sees it and her reaction and the Flock's all coming soon. Also Fang will come back and so will my creepy little OC. Thank you all and see you all when I get back from a week in the "sunny" coughcough camping spot of County Meath, Ireland. Cat**


	5. PS I'll Miss You

**Ok, hi again, right this is Max again, so for all those of you waiting patiently for what Fang had to say it's in this chapter! Hooray! I promise Fang returns, just not in this chapter. But he is coming. Somebody gave me a right talking to the other day about sending him away. But I do NOT regret it because it betters the story and I don't want to have to repeat this for the next three chapters or so. So I will bring him back in my own sweet time. Enjoy this chapter even though it's super depressing. My poor, poor characters****, I mean James Patterson's poor, poor characters! This also reminds me that I have forgotten to put a disclaimer on ALL of my chapters so far so. . . **

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own and have never owned any of the characters from Maximum Ride. They belong to James Patterson and a good thing too because he's an amazing writer! However I do own my OC who is, as of yet, unnamed. **

**On with the story! Enjoy!**

I sat up and immediately regretted it. My head was in bits after last nights little episode. Ugh, painful but bearable. I looked around. Fang had deposited me just next to Gazzy who was lying face down on the ground snoring into the soil. Gross. Angel had rolled onto her back with her arms and legs spread out on either side. She looked like a snow angel, in her old white dress and jeans. It was starting to get frayed at the edges and the two rips on her sleeves were becoming a cause for concern. We really needed to get some new clothes and soon. Little Nudge, my chatterbox, was still curled in her nook although her sleep seemed much calmer then when I had seen her last. Iggy was still sitting watch which was weird. But it was good to see him again, although I was a little more than embarrassed about last nights panic attack. Ok let's say completely and utterly mortified. Fang was . . . not around, but, remembering last night, I decided not to freak out. He probably just went to get breakfast, or water, or to take a leak, or even for an early morning flight. Relax Max; he must already be pretty pissed about last night we don't want to upset him any further. He'll be back soon.

It was still weird that Fang hadn't taken up watch but I suppose he figured I needed my sleep and Iggy couldn't exactly spot a Dunkin' Donuts from the air.

I went and sat down beside Iggy, I decided I should apologise for last night. But, when I turned to start I saw Iggy's face and it stopped me. He looked . . . sad. The sort of sad that never goes away, as if someone close to you died. . . or went away. I stopped breathing.

"Max?" he asked

"Yeah?" I replied trying to sound strong and together but I had guessed and I was already starting to break down inside.

"Fang, um . . . Fang asked me to give this to you." He handed me a small piece of paper folded tightly into a neat rectangle. Written shakily in black pen on the front was _Max. _I stopped breathing again.

I went to open the piece of paper but my hands were shaking. I took a minute to calm myself down, concentrating hard on regular breathing. Then I pried open the note and my entire world caved in. He was gone. Really gone. But the letter was so . . . short. I could only stare at it, rereading it again and again as if memorising it.

_Max,_

_I'm sorry. I can't stay anymore. The flock needs you, but they don't need me. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Good luck in everything. I hope you can understand why I had to leave without saying goodbye. But I'm saying it now._

_Goodbye,_

_Fang._

_P.S. I'll miss you. _

I tried so hard not to break down. I really did. But when I read the post script my body failed me and the tears came flooding down my face. I cried silently like that for a long time. He was gone, and this was all I had left of him. Six lines on a piece of paper. I couldn't think and no I didn't understand. I didn't understand at all. He had left me. He had left all of us. Of course we needed him. I needed him. He was my right-hand man, my co-leader, my best friend, my . . .

I didn't know what; all I knew was that my heart ached to think I would never see him again.

Why? Why hadn't he woken me up?

"Because, you would have convinced him to stay, but for all the wrong reasons." Iggy said, "And it would have hurt him too much"

Was he reading my mind? Or maybe I'd just said it out loud. I thought about his answer. Then I turned to him searching his face for answers I couldn't find.

"What wrong reasons?" I begged him, and then I got angry "There are no wrong reasons! He had absolutely NO reason to leave!" I was distraught now. He was never coming back. Ever. It was getting so bad I was almost yelling at Iggy. It wasn't Iggy's fault Fang was gone. Then it occurred to me.

"You let him leave" I screamed at him.

"Yes" he nodded. I was speechless.

"Why?" I finally managed to push out. I had to know. I needed to know.

"I couldn't have stopped him Max. Only you could have stopped him. But, Max, you have to understand. If he had stayed and things had gone on like they have been, it would have killed him. Eventually, he would have just died inside."

I was stunned. Since when had Iggy become so . . . knowledgeable about Fang? But what was he talking about? Fang was gone and for some reason it was my fault. Somehow I had hurt Fang. Somehow. But how could I have known. How could anyone have known? I could tell when Fang was angry or hurt. It was the slight tightness of his jaw, or the small creases around his eyes, or when he was closed or distant. Fang hadn't been closed or distant the last time I had talked to him. Actually Fang had been unusually expressive and open. This made no sense. I was at a complete loss.

"He's really gone isn't he?" I whispered.

"Yes" Iggy replied and I leaned onto him and I bawled my goddamn eyes out.

**Ok, so now that I'm back my updates should get back to a kind of norm. Sorry my chapters are short but I think it's a little better because it's more true to the actual MR books which have some really short chapters. Also it means I can update more often and faster. So I can get a chapter up after work each day (summer jobs suck) instead of one every two or three days which wouldn't be as fun I think. Also I do have other things to do, like karate and piano and work and stuff so shorter chapters are easier for me. So far I've only had one name suggestion for the OC but that's fine because I think I might go for it anyway. She is coming back, but, after we skip forward a few years. That will be really soon. Two chapters I think, and then I have a surprise! I like surprises! So thanks again to all who reviewed and hope you had fun for the last week I know I did. Cat**


	6. End Fang

**Ok, just before we go back to Max I want to fill everyone in on where Fang went when he left so this chapter is a few hours AHEAD of chapter 5. This is mostly ****filler because I just have to set up some stuff about Fang that will be important later on. So this will be SUPER short! For which I apologise. After the next chapter when we jump ahead a few years they should start getting longer so please don't burn me at the stake just yet. Because then you won't find out where this is all going. Also a few people said that my last chapter made them cry! Well I can honestly say I was close to tears when I was writing it. Isn't that sad? Silly little me. Here's a disclaimer although I do have a question that another author brought up. I only put disclaimers up because I've noticed everyone else does. Are they necessary? Let me know! Now on with the story! **

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own and have never owned any of the characters from Maximum Ride. They belong to James Patterson and a good thing too because he's an amazing writer! However I do own my OC who is, as of yet, unnamed. **

As soon as I was out of the forest I took off and spread my wings. I love flying, the intoxicating sensation of the wind on your face and the updrafts catching on your wings. But for once, my heart just wasn't in it. In fact I think my heart was still back in the clearing with the flock. The flight was spoiled for me when I realised that from now on I would always fly alone. No Gazzy to sing annoyingly in my ear, no Nudge to complain she was hungry, no Iggy to throw gas bombs at random passers-under, no Angel to convince us to stop at Dunkin' Donuts, no Total to weigh down my backpack, and no Max to brush wings with and tell me what to do. I had just left the only family I would ever have. The only other flying humans that I could stand and I had just walked away. I was insane. Suddenly I felt very lonely. I sighed, I'd better get used to this, because I was only going to get lonelier. My only consolation was that the flock would be happier now that I was gone. They didn't need me. Max certainly didn't need me. They were better off without me. Nobody needed me. Where would I go now? Maybe I could go and live with a flock of hawks? Then again they wouldn't need me either. How would I buy food (much as I love rat I wasn't too keen on eating it for the rest of my life) and that was when I came to a decision. No more flying. I couldn't enjoy it anymore anyway. I needed a job. I needed a story and I needed somewhere to live. Then it struck me, quite literally. I wasn't paying attention to where I was flying and I hit my foot off the top off the peak of a mountain. Damn that hurt. And, joy of joys, I had lost a shoe. Damn. I so wasn't in the mood to fly up and down a mountain looking for a shoe that was practically falling off anyway. Actually all my clothes were practically falling off me. My t-shirt had so many rips and tears in it that it looked like it was doing an imitation of Swiss cheese. Nowhere would take me in looking like this and I didn't have any money to but new clothes. But then I realised, there was one place. An orphanage. They'd feed me, I'd have a place to sleep, I could go to school and maybe even get a part time job. So it was decided, no more flying, I was an orphan. I was nobody, my name was . . . Nick. I felt a sad smile creep onto my face. At least it was a slight tie to the flock. They had all called me Nick at some point and it reminded me of them. Or maybe I should be Fnick especially for Iggy, but once I'd thought of that I remembered his face before I left. I winced. No just Nick. I was an orphan, named Nick, who didn't fly, had no friends, and would never again fall in love. End Fang.

**Aw, now I'm sad. I'm such a depressing person. Although I swear I'm pretty happy in real life. Talk to you all soon. Cat**

**Lol Fnick. **


	7. End Max

**Ok, so today an anonymous reviewer told me I was weird. But that's cool. He/she is right! I am weird. Even my friends think I'm weird . . . and they're EXTREMELY weird. No offence to them. Although I do have some normal friends I swear. That's you Kaz and Rebecca. Everyone else is as ****crazy as or crazier than me. Although some of them are much better a pretending to be normal. So now I'm done my little rant. This story is getting more and more depressing by the minute. But I promise once we jump ahead (next chapter) and after the first chapter after the jump (which is super depressing damn my hide) it WILL get better. So this is in Max, it is the last chapter before the jump and it's following from chapter 5 NOT chapter 6 because that was filler. Now that we're all up to date I will disclaim and then continue the story!**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own and have never owned any of the characters from Maximum Ride. They belong to James Patterson and a good thing too because he's an amazing writer! However I do own my OC who is, as of yet, unnamed. Although now I have TWO name choices. So many decisions to make so little time to think about them!**

**Enjoy . . . or cry at its awfulness. Damn I'm depressing.**

By the time the younger members of the flock were starting to wake up I had started to pull myself together. Iggy had comforted me all morning but I had been uncontrollable until he'd reminded me how the others would react to seeing me falling to pieces. He wouldn't let me out of earshot. I think he was worried I would run off or try to kill myself with a sharp stick. Maybe he was right. I had tried it before, and I'd never had as much reason as this. I was well and truly devastated. He hadn't even said goodbye. The last time I saw him I was half asleep. He was gone, and for some reason, that I still didn't understand, I was to blame. I was dying on the inside, but when Nudge woke up, shook her wings and trotted over to me, I pasted a fake smile on my face. When she asked me what was for breakfast, I said we'd stop somewhere nice. When Gazzy woke up, I ruffled his hair, like I do every morning. But Angel . . . Angel knew. As soon as she woke up and stretched her pale arms, I knew, she would know. And when she looked at me, the sadness, shock and sympathy in her eyes almost killed me again.

"I'm sorry Max" she whispered throwing her arms around me in a bear hug, "he's gone isn't he?" And all I could do was nod, I was so choked up. She hugged me harder and I felt her tears begin to wet my shirt. I pulled her closer, then we were crying silently together, tears sliding down our cheeks, slowly making their way to the ground. There was a hole in her hearts that would never mend. He was gone and we were lost.

It was the most difficult thing I had ever done to tell Gazzy and Nudge. I couldn't say it out loud and in the end Angel had to explain to them. My poor baby. She should never have to do something so hard. I did that to her. Fang and I did that to her. Life was so cruel. Once Gazzy and Nudge understood what Angel was trying to say they looked to me for guidance. But I just closed my eyes and shook my head. They came to me with tears in their eyes and pulled their bodies in close to mine and we cried. But, they were noisy, gulpy tears, so painful to the ears, and the heart. I felt little Gazzy's body shake with every breath. But Nudge . . . Nudge was so much worse. Nudge nearly broke my heart. Between tears she managed to take my hand and choke out,

"I just wish he would have said goodbye."

"Me too sweetie, me too" and in my heart I knew, he would have if it weren't for me. My heart cracked for the little girl whose father figure, older brother and friend hadn't said goodbye. Then my heart cracked for the other older brother who had lost his friend, his brother and a guide in his dark, sightless world. My heart tore when I looked at the small boy heaped in my arms whose self esteem and tiny pride would be demolished by this sweeping blow. But, when I looked at the last little member of my flock, the youngest, my baby, I thought my heart would stop, because she would always have to live with my pain as well as her own.

By now there were so many holes in my heart that I didn't even know how it was holding together. But then that little girl, that sweet little girl whose life had been changed forever, she broke my heart. She was my undoing. Her 7 words were branded into me never to be forgotten, and they would cause me greater pain and understanding then any other part of my life. My 6 year old mind-reading little sister turned to face me with tears in her eyes and whispered,

"He never told you he loved you."

It was at that moment I felt my heart break for the girl who had lost her best friend, her oldest companion, her co-leader and the only one she could ever love, who had loved her back. Me. I sank to my knees in front of my flock. I was dead; my heart was completely and utterly broken. End Max.

A small shadow wept in the darkness for the pain of these poor children. Yes Max, she thought, life is cruel you know that now better than most. But I'm going to fix it for you. I need some time, but I can fix it. In a few years, life will be kind to you and your family. I'll see to it. You'll see I'll fix it. With that, the small shadow once again slipped away from Maximum Ride and her flock, this time with a plan. No one saw her, no one heard her. No one ever did.

**Ok, so as you can see my OC can read minds (thank you kaylormonkey). Well now I'm super depressed and pretty close to tears. That's bad isn't it, to be brought to tears by your own story? Stupid me. Also I never cry ever. So it's super weird. Now, I believe some people are having trouble reading my chapter 6 because I used the word darn with an m. Apparently that pops up parental control which is weird. So if anyone couldn't get hold of it, let me know and I'll send you a copy without the ahem "swear word". Although you will have to either sign in or give me your e-mail, because I can't send to anonymous because there's no reply. I just couldn't honestly have Fang say darn. That would just be sad. Ok so I'll update soon I hope. Thanks all reviewers, Cat. **

**Ps ****yes kaylormonkey I know, Fang is an absolute idiot!**

**Lol**** Fnick always makes me smile. **


	8. 4 years, 2 months and 3 days later

**Ok, so within the next couple of days I'll be moving back to my old house and I don't know how long it will take to get internet back up and working. So, just to give you all the heads up there's a good possibility I might not be able to update again for another week maybe two. I apologise for this inconvenience but I will try and use my friend's computers in the interim. So don't go away! Now on with the story and the disclaimer I'm still not sure I have to use! **

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own and have never owned any of the characters from Maximum Ride. They belong to James Patterson and a good thing too because he's an amazing writer! However I do own my OC who is, as of yet, unnamed. Although now I have TWO name choices. So many decisions to make so little time to think about them!**

**Also this should be my last depressing chapter for a while (I think) so I apologise for this last one but it's important. Enjoy! Cat.**

**4 years, 2**** months and 3 years later**

I woke up feeling out of sorts with the world, like someone was plotting against me. Not that I don't wake up feeling like that everyday, it was just really strong today. I am so not paranoid. Everyone actually is against me. This is the part where you all start nodding your heads really slowly while inwardly thinking how close you are to the nearest phone. But really, 4 years ago, everyone actually was against me. Now it's usually just me. Sometimes it's Fang, but that's only in my mind really. Ok now you can nod your heads and fast you can reach that mobile on your desk.

I sat up and immediately felt a wave of nausea shoot over me. Oh God. I ran to the bathroom clutching my hand in front of my mouth to stop the vomit. I wrenched the door open and practically collapsed on the toilet. Then it was gone. I just didn't feel the need to be violently sick any more. No vomit. I wiped my mouth and sat on the floor by the toilet. I shivered. Whatever that was it wasn't good. I couldn't be pregnant, because I hadn't . . . I'd never. . . I just couldn't. If I was sick I would have upchucked wouldn't I? I stood up. I needed a shower. Badly.

My towel and black dressing gown were both draped over the end of my bed so I went to fetch them and then I turned on the hot water. I peeled my pyjamas off and stepped into the steamy glass chamber. God that felt good. It was so nice to feel clean. The shower was definitely the best part of the house. My favourite part. Even after 3 years it felt so good to have a hot shower every morning. I usually got up early just specially to have one. The water trickled down my back and pooled slightly around my feet. I shampooed and conditioned my hair with more care than usual. I felt the need. The bubbles from the shampoo made my puddle murky for a while but it soon moved on. It didn't matter how many showers I had, I would always consider them the best invention of human civilisation, followed closely by toilets (if you've ever gone in a hole you'll know what I'm talking about) and beds (much comfier than caves and forest floors).

I stepped out eventually, letting the water run down onto the towel on the floor. I tied my hair up and grabbed for my towel on the rack behind me. Suddenly I caught sight of something on the back of my neck. A few small dark marks. Like some kind of tattoo. I peered into the mirror. They looked almost like numbers. I moved a little closer to the mirror. There was a knock on the door.

"Max?"

It was Nudge.

"Yes sweetie?" I replied

"Iggy says breakfast's ready." She yelled through the door "He also said you were taking a shower and to hurry up because he cooked hot food this morning and you take such a long time in the shower it might go cold before you come so he said I should come and get you in case you thought we weren't having breakfast till later and you took your time and all his work went to waste." I stopped her there before she collapsed from lack of breathing.

"I'll be out in a second honey you go on ahead and start breakfast without me." I called and then turned back to the mirror.

You know those people in the movies who see something weird and then get interrupted before they can look closer and then they just walk away and forget about it? Those people bug me. What self-respecting moron just shrugs and walks away from a possible clue. They could prevent so many things just by taking a closer look. So I'm not one of those people. I took a closer look in the mirror and then I wished I hadn't. Because what I saw chilled me to the bone.

**12/26/07**

2 weeks from today. 2 weeks from today. 2 weeks from today I was going to die and there was absolutely nothing I could do. I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was wet and I was dripping water from under my towel but I could still see the tiredness in my face. I could still see the broken person staring back at me through sad eyes. I could still see the scars from so many failed attempts. Failed attempts constantly thwarted by my loving family. I was dead already anyway. What did it matter that it was written in stone now. I died long ago. But I thought about all the progress I had made since 2 years ago. My last attempt had been over a year ago now. I wanted to live now! I suddenly realised that. Now that I was sure I was going to die I realised that I wanted to live. I wanted to live for the flock. They loved me even though I was unworthy. So unworthy of their love. I had put them through terrible things. It was my fault Fang left, it was my fault Angel was so depressed, it was my fault they had such an awful Christmas that first year and it was my fault that they always had to care for me and look after me when it should be the other way around. Everything was my fault. Now I was going to die and it was my fault they would be alone. Without Fang to look after them. I chased him away, 4 years, 2 months and 3 days ago, but who's keeping count? My fault, all my fault.

Now I was going to die and I didn't have enough time to make it up to them. I didn't have enough time. I never did. I tried not to think about what I'd done for the past 4 years. It hurt too much. I tried to never think of Fang. That hurt too much as well. Everything hurt these days. Except the shower. Showers and beds and toilets. Maybe I should just get back in the shower and pretend it's not happening.

I heard a large bang on the door.

"Max" Gazzy whined, "Ig won't feed us till you come and you're taking sooooooooo long." Then he began a perfect impersonation of Iggy "I don't care if you're hungry. If Max is going to keep us all waiting then so be it, I won't have my cuisine ignored."

I laughed at Gazzy's tone. It felt very good to laugh.

"Ok" I yelled "I'll be out in a minute"

"A minute's too long" he whined back but he left anyway.

I changed fast but looked back at the mirror and plastered a smile on my face like I did every morning. It seemed more fake than usual. I couldn't say I was surprised.

I walked into the kitchen and saw the Flock gathered around something big and glowing.

"What the-?" I managed, before. . .

"SURPRISE" they yelled. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAX"

I smiled then, a genuine smile. They knew I loved cake. A lovely big cake with eighteen big ostentatious candles stuck on top. They started to sing. It was . . . cacophonous. Happy Birthday is a pretty tuneless song already but Happy Birthday should never be sung by 4 mutant bird kids (one of whom is doing a spot on impersonation of Michael Jackson) and a small talking dog. It sounded . . . loud. But at the same time . . . to me, it was the best sound in the world. A sure sign of their love. I mean, Iggy doesn't sing for just anyone and Gazzy only does MJ on special occasions. I smiled at them and laughed as I realised why they were all staring at me. They had finished singing; I was supposed to blow out the candles.

Afterwards we were stuffed. Saturday morning, nothing to do but eat cake and open presents. But I knew I would have to tell them soon, about my expiration date. Angel handed me her gift, a hand-made card and a poster for my room that said 'Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.' I gave her a huge hug. It could wait.

"What can wait?" she asked looking at me.

"I have something to tell you all later but I don't want to bum you out now okay? Not when we're all so happy." I pleaded with her.

"Tell us now Max, it'll make it easier." she replied.

I sighed. She was right. I stood up and Nudge and Gazzy looked at me. I tapped Iggy on the shoulder and he nodded to show he was listening.

"I have something to say guys" I started "But you're not going to like it"

They all just kept looking at me.

"I'm dying" I spat out.

Nudge frowned, Gazzy went pale, and Angel squeezed my hand hard, Total stopped eating and Iggy put his hand in mine and said one word.

"When?"

"Two weeks." I said.

"Exactly?"

"Yes" I replied, "the day after Christmas."

"Tattoo on the neck?" he asked.

"Yes"

"Just like Ari?"

"Yes"

"You're sure?"

"Definite"

"We should find Fang"

"Ye- Hold on! We should what?" I exclaimed. Iggy had gone round the bend, completely loopy. Fang had left us. We were probably the last people he wanted to see. He probably had his own life by now. His own house, a car, a girlfr- . . . no Max, stop thinking, we don't want to go there. I looked around at the flock to get what they thought of Iggy's obviously bonkers proposal. To my complete surprise they were all sitting there nodding. I thought about it again. Maybe we could. Maybe we should. It couldn't hurt. Yes it could. It could hurt a lot.

_Sometimes we have to feel pain. It's our only way of knowing we're still alive_. Angel thought to me.

I looked down at her. She was begging me to do this. She wanted me to find him. I had said I was going to make it right so I was. If finding Fang would make the flock happy then by god we were going to find Fang. I hope.

**Yay! I wrote a super long one**** (for me). Ok, I am moving out tomorrow so as I said my internet is possibly down for a week maybe two. I'm going to try and hijack my friend's comps for a while but it'll be touch and go so don't go away I have lots of good story planned for this Fan fiction so stay tuned. As I said before I won't beg for reviews but seeing as this is my first really long chapter some constructive criticism would be nice. Thanks. See you as soon as possible. Cat **


	9. Just For Us

**Ok everyone, time for some good old Fang. I reread MR1 today to be sure I had a few things right. I was right Fang is 4 months younger than Max. This is important to the story later on. Right now I am trying to do this on my Granny's computer so I don't know if this will work. It keeps turning off. So here goes and fingers crossed. Enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride. James Patterson does. However I do own my OC character who will either be called Alex or Lily I haven't decided yet. **

"Where to bud?"

"The airport please"

The driver nodded. "Right you are" he said and started to pull away from the curb.

I looked back at my place of residence for the last 4 years, 2 months and 3 days. I still couldn't call it home. I saw some of the youngsters peering out the second-story windows with blank faces. Some of the older ones were watching me drive away with sullen jealous glares. They were stupid to be jealous of me. They had no idea how much it sucked to be me.

My social worker, Josie, was waving her hand enthusiastically. She was pretty dumb too. I hadn't wanted to be adopted. I wasn't there to be adopted; I was there for the free room and board. But she had obviously never quite understood that, seeing as it was all she'd ever talked about. That and my feelings. Personally, I preferred adoption. I don't talk about feelings. Mine, or anyone else's. Ever. Feelings hurt too much. She kept telling me she knew how I felt. That would always make me laugh. I was always tempted to ask 'So, you're a teenage mutant avian-hybrid, who left the woman they love and their only family in a forest in Colorado, whose spent the last few years of his life surrounded by idiots in an orphanage listening to someone as annoying as you try to start talks about adoption and feelings, is that what you're saying?' But of course, not only would that blow my cover but it would mean I would actually have to speak to her. Which I hadn't done. I mean, I'd said yes, no, please, thank you and 'I have to use the bathroom now', but other than those limited essentials; I had practically been a mute. One of the helpers had fainted when I'd asked her to pass me the salt last year.

The taxi turned the corner and suddenly the orphanage was gone. I could honestly say, I wouldn't care if I never saw it again. Unlike our old house in the mountains. I still missed that a lot. Our hidden E-shaped home. I could still remember my room. It had been out over the stilts so I was jutting out right over the canyon. It had had the most amazing view. In the evenings I could watch the sun set between the two ends of the canyon over a small rise in the ground. I used to watch it almost every night. Thinking of it brought back a memory of when I was eleven. Max showed me a secret cave she had found in the side of the mountain.

_Flashback_

_We pulled around the corner and landed clumsily on the small platform. We were still trying to get used to actually using our wings. _

"_Come on" she said to me. Then she grabbed my hand and pulled me into the cave. It was just the right size for us. Not so small that our claustrophobia set in, but not so big that we felt uncomfortable. I smiled. _

"_You like it?" she checked._

"_Yeah" I nodded. _

"_It can be our secret base," she suggested "Just for us."_

"_What about Iggy?" I asked. _

_She frowned. _

"_What about him?" she asked looking confused._

"_Why didn't you ask him? Why me?" I wanted to be sure._

_She laughed then. _

"_Because you're my best friend silly."_

_End Flashback_

A few years later, just after Jeb "died", I repaid the favour.

_Flashback_

_I knocked on Max's door. _

"_Who is it?" I heard her voice break slightly._

"_Fang" I replied._

"_um . . . I . . . um, was about to take a shower, can it wait?"_

"_Max." I growled. She knew I hated it when she lied to me._

"_Fang, just not now okay?" she pleaded, "Later."_

_I sighed. _

"_Max, it can't wait."_

"_Fine," she opened the door, "What?" _

"_You have to come with me." I explained. _

_She frowned but nodded. _

_I walked in front of her to my room. I held the door for her and glanced at her face. I could see she'd been crying. Pretty hard if the rub marks on her face were anything to go by._

"_Fang, what's up?" she asked. _

_I put my finger to my lips and pointed out the window. The timing couldn't have been more perfect. The sun was just coming down. _

"_What?" she started, "I don't see- ohhh." _

_I smiled at her. _

_When it was almost gone I whispered in her ear._

"_It can be our secret sun set."_

"_Just for us." She replied._

_Then she took my hand and we stood and watched the end of the sunset together._

_End Flashback._

I sat in the back of my taxi and remembered that moment with tears threatening at the corners of my eyes. All my old memories hit me full blast. Of the day we left our home never to return, when Angel was taken, of the days we spent in New York and when Max kissed me on the beach, finding Total, staying with Anne, going to a real school and kissing a girl (not Max), seeing Max kiss another guy (not me), losing Iggy, being betrayed by Anne, getting Iggy back, going to Florida to find ITEX, meeting Max II, fighting Max II, getting the real Max back, kissing Max in a cave, Max running away, us getting captured AGAIN, Angel being bad, Angel actually being good all along, Ari saving us, the Flock splitting up (because of me), Max going to Europe, Max getting caught, Max almost dieing (because I left), Max saving the world (without me), Max coming back and making me promise not to leave again, Max running away, me bringing her back, me leaving. There ended all my important memories. The pain was back. Almost fresher than the day I left. It hurt so much to think of the Flock. It hurt even more to think of her. I shut my brain off. It was the only way to stop the pain.

I was brought back by the taxi driver's call of "You alive back there or what?"

"Sorry?" I replied.

"We're here." He said "That'll be $25.75"

"Right sorry" I mumbled.

I pulled out the money and handed it to him. He checked the amount, nodded and rubbed his sleeve across his nose. I pulled my bags out of the trunk and stood on the curb as he pulled away. I turned to look at the terminus. I could always just fly. But then I shook my head. No. Flying reminded me of too many things. Airplane it was.

**Well I was going to write more but I'm leaving my Grandparents now and I bought the new Harry Potter book ata midnight last night. I'm already on Chapter Nine and it's 12 o'clock midday. So I'm going to go read some more of that. If I've left out any of the important stuff from MR3 it's because I read them a month ago**

**Bye Cat**


	10. Starts with a Question

**Ok, so we're back to Max for all of you who just can't keep track. ****Sorry my updates are taking so long at the moment but I've been busy with my job and moving house and all and I'm having a bit of writer's block. I know what's going to happen I just can't seem to get it down on the page. For anyone who cares I finished the Harry Potter book on Sunday (after buying it at midnight on Friday) and it was brilliant! Anyone who wants to talk about it is welcome to PM me because none of my friends or family have and it's driving me nuts! Thank you ruby1792 you have been my Harry Potter outlet it's really nice to have someone to talk to about it. Enjoy the next chapter it's filler because Fang's chapter will be really important if I can set it up right. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride. James Patterson does. However I do own my OC character, who will either be called Alex or Lily I haven't decided yet. **

I'm going to start by asking you, how you find a guy who doesn't want to be found, who hasn't been seen for 4 years 2 months and 3 days, and who could be absolutely anywhere in the world. Well, you all say, I would call in the team from that show Cold Case. Eh, no, we also can't get the police involved. Let me elaborate on my question. How do you find your winged 'brother' who doesn't want to be found, could possibly be dead, or in the School, who you haven't seen or heard word of for exactly 4 years, 2 months and 3 days since the day he left you with little to no explanation in a forest in Colorado and who could be absolutely anywhere in the world?

The answer we all came up with, but, just didn't have it in us to say out loud, was . . . you can't. It can't be done. Fang is gone. Dead to us in all but one sense. Unless, someday, he tries to contact us, we will never see him again. And seeing as I don't have that long, well I figure, I'll never see him again.

I was sitting in the sitting room with my family when I realised this. I'd never felt so alone. There was a pain in my chest that felt like someone had punched me in the same place over and over. I was starting to find it difficult to breathe. Gazzy had gone really quiet since he'd silently come to the same realization as me. His 12 year old face was screwed up in discomfort and he looked as if he was trying not to cry. 14 year old Nudge was hugging her legs to her chest and rocking back and forth on the floor. She wasn't talking, which was an obvious sign she was upset. Iggy, almost 18, was in his own little world, probably imagining what Fang was doing now. He used to tell stories to the younger ones before they would go to bed at night, until one night I had overheard him telling a story about an imaginary Fang and what he was doing now. After that I had asked him to stop. We had argued over it for a long time until finally we had compromised, Iggy wasn't allowed to tell stories about Fang anymore. They were all too old for stories now anyway but I could still remember feeling left out. There was no Fang for me to talk to while Iggy told stories. So I usually just went for walks, or flights. Though, I always stayed close enough to protect the flock. Old habits die hard I suppose.

Angel was next to me on the sofa leaning against my side; I put my arm over her shoulder and drew her in close for a hug.

"_Max?" _she thought to my head.

"_Yeah sweetie?"_

"_Do you want to go for a walk?" _

I thought about it for a second. A quick glance at the flock told me I couldn't comfort them, they were comforting themselves already as they had learned to do over the last few years, I hadn't been much of a role model at the time and they had had to learn to cope without me, for which I would always be sorry. A walk would also do me good. But I was worried about how it might affect Angel. I was labouring her with way too many of my sad thoughts.

"_I don't mind Max," _she assured me in my head_, "I love you."_

"_I love you too Angel." _and I hugged her harder.

"_You need a walk," _she said and stood up.

"We're just going for a walk downtown" I told the others, "We won't be long."

They nodded and I followed Angel out the front door.

**Right I know its short but bear with me. It's about to get good. I hope. I have a plan. I swear. ****As I've said before I have an aversion to begging for reviews but I would also like it to be known that that doesn't mean I don't love getting them. I'm still always really amazed when people say they enjoy my story because I always thought I was a really bad writer, so it's nice to get good feedback. I'd like you guys to tell me when I make mistakes, so I can fix them though. Did anyone spot my mistake in chapter 8? It must have been pretty confusing for those who did! For which I apologise I was rereading it today and I had to double take! Even I got confused! Thanks again and I'll see you soon. Cat**


	11. My Poor Little Sister

**Ok, so I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while, but between writer's block, my birthday and the temporary loss of my internet connection I've been finding it difficult to have some time alone with my computer. Which I'm now realising sounds just a little creepy. But I hope to be updating a little more often even though I'm in the countryside. Enjoy this chapter ****because it's Fang and he's starting to come back. Sort of. Also I am a complete and utter idiot because I just rewrote the same chapter. It took me like 2 hours and now I have to start again. Sometime I amaze myself with how stupid I can be. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any of its characters. But I do own my OC and my plot. So kindly don't copy. **

I sat back against the seat of yet another taxi. That flight had been some of the worst 2 hours of my life. It was so cramped and enclosed and there were so many other people. I had almost felt my personal space bubble popping. It had been awful. Max had always said the plane journey she'd taken to England had been excruciating. But Max had spent 7 hours in a plane. Twice. Now I felt like such an idiot. She had done 14 hours and I was practically whimpering after 2. Nice Fang. Real nice.

I looked out the window contemplating the fact that I still hadn't stopped thinking about Max. All those memories were still flooding into my brain. I looked out the window passing my eyes over the people on the street while we waited for the lights to change. My eyes were, as usual, automatically drawn to the blondes in the crowd. There were a lot of them. It made sense seeing as we were in the sunshine state. But my eyes were drawn to two tall blondes holding hands. One was younger and considerably smaller than the other. I focused in on the younger one. She looked awfully familiar. Actually she looked incredibly like Angel, but older, just the right amount older. My eyes flashed quickly up to her companion. I almost had a heart attack. It was Max all right. There was absolutely no mistaking that face. I glanced back at Angel. Yes it was definitely Angel. But she looked like she was about to cry. Her little face was so sad. I just wanted to give her a big hug and tell her everything was going to be fine. My poor little sister. I switched my gaze back to Max. She had the same grief stricken look on her face. But she was still stunning.

She didn't seem to have noticed Angel's threatening tears. That confused and worried me. If Max wasn't paying attention to Angel's pain something really bad must have happened. Really bad. I stared a little longer at Max's face and I was considering stepping out of the car when the taxi driver muttered. "Finally." And the car took off through the green lights. I tried to turn to see more of my family but the street was already far behind us.

I leaned back into my seat again, closed my eyes and breathed heavily. They were gone. Again. I had to stop thinking about them. I could always just go back and see them for a while. With my new abilities they wouldn't even know I was there. I sat up. I concentrated on the taxi. I put all my focus into thinking about the taxi. Then I expanded my thoughts to the cars around me, the people on the street, the streets around us and the city of Naples. I got out of the car. Everything around me was completely silent. Nothing was moving. There were two birds hanging mid air over the shoe shop across the street. I had stopped time. Just this small pocket within the city. I sprinted back to the street where I had seen Max and Angel. I skidded around the corner and started to search the street for the two blondes. Then I spotted them standing just outside the ice cream parlour. I pulled around in front of them and took a closer look at the faces I hadn't seen in 4 years, 2 months and 3 days. Max's brown eyes were staring at something behind me. I turned to see a giant chocolate chip cookie in the front window of the parlour. I shook my head and smiled inwardly. Still hadn't found the perfect cookie I see. I looked down at Angel her blue eyes were looking up at Max filled with worry but the smile on her face was still true. You couldn't not smile at Max's current expression. It was a curious mixture of her obvious delight over finding a new cookie, battling with her common sense about the size of said cookie and her guilt over feeling happy when she felt she should be sad. Yeah, I could still read this girl like a book.

Her face was still etched with a kind of grief as well, as if someone had died. Someone she loved. Someone she loved could only be someone from the flock. I couldn't believe it. One of them was dead! Come to think of it maybe all of them were dead but these two. Why would they be wandering around on their own otherwise? I tried to swallow but I felt like I was going to be sick. They couldn't be dead could they? It wasn't right. It just wasn't right. I reached out a hand and placed it on Max's cheek. Time restarted. I stared at her and she stared right back at me.

"Fang?" she said reaching out her hand.

Then I ran.

**Eventually all will be explained like where they're living and a full description of the house and lots of other things you may be wondering about. I'm sorry I didn't think this chapter was very good. Thanks for reading, Cat. Also, Happy Birthday to me. If I was American I would be learning to drive. As it is I can only learn to fly a plane. **


	12. But Why?

**Ok, I got**** lots of really good feedback from lots of lovely people. For those of you who asked. No I'm actually not American, but if you're picking up an American style of writing or if you ever heard my Californian twang, it's because I spent my formative years (where I learned to speak and read) in America, in California to be exact. I thank Dr Seuss for teaching me to read at only 3 years old. I hold the record in my class for the earliest reader. How sad am I? My younger twin brothers are actually American. I am pure Irish. Aside from the fact that my mother is Welsh. I don't know you're relatives from Cork, Kerry, Donegal or Galway. Ireland is not that small. So please don't ask. My Dad's from Cork but I live in Dublin and Wexford. Now that that's out of the way. Enjoy the following chapter short and depressing though it may be. It is going to get better I swear. I feel I'm repeating myself. My ramble is now complete. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any of its characters. But I do own my OC and my plot. So kindly don't copy. **

Have you ever just been standing there minding your own business when something just pops out at you? Like really pops out at you? And I don't mean, just catches your eye or comes into your line of vision. I mean full on comes up in your face, exclusively for you. I bet it wasn't your long lost best friend that you're actually deeply in love with that you thought you'd never see again. Didn't think so. Why can't ordinary things happen to me for once? Why me? Although I wasn't complaining about finding Fang in the least. What I was complaining about was that just as it registered in my brain who it was, the idiot turned and ran away. Can I just say . . . what the h-e-double-hockey-sticks?

I mean it was bad enough that at the time I had just pointed out the biggest cookie I had ever seen to Angel. I had felt the obvious delight over finding a new cookie which was battling with my common sense about the size of said cookie and my guilt over feeling happy when I should be sad. Which I was. I was sad but the cookie couldn't make me feel any worse could it? Of course not. Suddenly I was standing staring at Fang. Not only was he staring right back at me but his hand was on my cheek. It was such a shock I couldn't speak for a few seconds. You know me with my scientist-programmed cat like reflexes. Still silence. It felt like forever. Yeah. Dead cat like reflexes more like. Finally I managed to steal my tongue back from the aforementioned dead cat before it became embarrassing. "Fang?" I managed to ask. My hand lifted up as if of its own accord. I was so close to him. It was like we were the only three people in the world. Me, Fang and our little sister who was still holding my other hand. Then he was gone. He ran. I broke.

Then Angel tugged my hand and we started to run after him. She had to lead me when we lost sight of him and the crowd and she started to follow his mind patterns. But even running across the road I still couldn't see anyone running the direction we were running. I tried to pull Angel back to the path.

"He's not there" I tried to explain.

"No Max," she said, "He's invisible."

I had to shake my head. I hadn't heard her correctly obviously.

"Come again?" I tried to say but Angel had just pulled me round a sharp corner. So it came out more like, "Co- gaiaaaaagh". She pulled up short.

"He's gone." she muttered.

"He's what?" I managed to spit out.

She turned to me and looked confused and upset.

"Max, that was Fang, but he stopped time and he went invisible. He stopped time again which is why I can't read his mind anymore."

"But why? Why would he run at all?" I was confused and hurt by Fang's reaction. It didn't make any sense.

"He was afraid, Max, just like he was afraid before."

"Of hurting us?" I sighed.

"Yes," she said "but also of finding out that you don't love him."

"But I-" I started

"I know," she said "but he doesn't."

I kneeled on the ground and a single tear started to drop down my cheek.

"Max?" Angel put her arms around me.

"Angel, he still remembers us" I smiled. "He's alive and he remembers us."

She hugged me and I hugged her back.

"We were so close" I said, "But now we know he's here. Now we know we can find him."

She nodded and we broke apart looking at each other.

"I'm sorry Max" she said.

"Sorry for what sweetie?"

"I'm sorry I didn't catch him." She said starting to cry. "We could have been a family again before . . . before . . . Max I don't want you to die." She flung her skinny arms around my neck. I was shocked.

"Angel, Angel it's . . ." But I realised I had nothing to say. I couldn't say it was ok. It wasn't ok. I didn't want to die either. Especially if it left the Flock alone. I suddenly realised I had double the reason to find Fang now. I had to have someone to look after the Flock after I was gone. That someone could only be Fang. I wanted Iggy to finish college. He couldn't be spending his time looking after these kids. Someone had to look after my babies and no matter how much I wanted it, it couldn't be me. So it had to be Fang. I hugged Angel tight as her tears began to stain my t-shirt and whispered in her ear.

"I know sweetie, but it's never you're fault, you understand? Don't you ever let anyone tell you it is. You tried your best and sometimes no matter how hard you try your best just isn't good enough. But that's still not your fault. Sometimes there are things we can't control. Sometimes you just have to accept that life isn't going to give you what you want."

"But Max, life never gives us what we want."

"I know. Maybe we just have to accept that."

"But-"

"Shhh. Calm down. You did great and I couldn't be prouder of you. I couldn't ask for a better little sister. Now, I think it's time we went back home, don't you?"

She nodded and I took her small hand in mine. I wiped the tears from her face and we started to head home to tell the others the good news. Fang was alive. Fang was alive and he remembered us. I took a quick glance at Angel. I'd ask Iggy to make her an extra big brownie tonight. She deserved it. Poor pet. I wouldn't force my thoughts on anyone. Especially a child who loves so much. Maybe after I died she'd have a chance to live her own life. Maybe then she'd be free. I smiled. Fang would look after them. Everything would be fine. They didn't need me. Not anymore.

The little girl in the ice cream parlour looked out to see the two blondes passing again. She smiled to herself. Life is going to give you what you want soon Max, I'm working on it. It's just taking a long time. She stepped out of the parlour and turned into the small alleyway next door where a cat was picking the bones of a long dead fish. Taking a quick look around to ensure no one else was around she slipped into the shadows and silently became one with the darkness. Slipping through shadows was much faster than walking . . . and there was less traffic. She smiled again but there was no one but the cat to see. No one ever saw her. Perhaps it was because she wasn't really there. She vanished and the cat paused but shrugged in the way only a cat can and continued to attack the fossilized sea creature. After all what care had the cat for disappearing shadows when there were spoils to be had.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

**Ok well we'll see how this one goes down. Again, I'm not too sure of this one. It seems choppy to me. But maybe that's just me. Some constructive criticism really wouldn't go amiss on this one. I like to fix my mistakes as soon as possible. For anyone who didn't catch up that end paragraph was my strange little OC making an ****appearance. Poor Max and poor Angel. Although I honestly can't say I feel much sympathy for Fang because he's being an idiot. Anyway I'll try to update soon. Thanks Cat**


	13. Your Home, Not Mine

**Ok, so wow. I had the BIGGEST compliment today. Two fanfictionists I very much admire said they thought my story was the best. Now I don't know about any of you but that just put the smile on my face all day. I'm on a serious high. This next chapter ought to make you all happy. It's from Fang's POV. It's that cute little Angel scene I keep mentioning. So here goes nothing and I hope you all enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any of its characters. But I do own my OC and my plot. So kindly don't copy. **

I sat at my desk considering how much it would hurt if I decided to start smacking it with my forehead. Yes. I was just that bored. I had given it some serious thought and had finally come to the conclusion that with my super human strength I would probably just break the desk in two.

"Fang?"

I sat up. Did someone just call my name? I did a 360 (god bless swivel chairs) but no one in the office was even looking in my direction. I wasn't Fang to them anyway. I was Nick. Nick Ride. No one had called me Fang in over 4 years. With the exception of Max yesterday. I shook my head. I was trying not to think about that. They were better off without me. They weren't supposed to see me yesterday. That had been a mistake. A mistake I sorely regretted.

"Fang?"

There it was again. No one else had even registered it. As if it was spoken in my head. I only knew one person who could do that. My little sister.

'Angel?' I thought as loud as I could.

"Fang?" she repeated.

'Yeah it's me.'

"Yes, yes I found you. I've been looking for you all day. Fang we've all missed you so much!"

'I- you did? I missed you guys too.'

"I'm coming to get you." She told me cheerfully, "Put your coat on and tell the boss you're sick."

'Angel, I can't-'

"Fang if you don't I'll just make you do it with my mind."

'Why?'

"Because we need to talk."

'You sound like Max.'

She paused. "Good." She said finally.

I almost laughed. I grabbed my coat. What was I doing? I was going to meet with someone who could be Angel but she could just as easily be an impostor. She sounded much too happy to be the small girl I'd seen yesterday.

'Prove it.' I thought

"Prove I'm me?" she asked.

'Prove you're Angel.'

"Now you sound like Max." she reproached. "But, if you want proof . . . when I was really small, just after Jeb left, you made me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich but you used jell-o because we didn't have jelly and you were hoping I wouldn't notice."

I shook my head at the old memory. I had forgotten it until now. It was over 6 years ago now. That sandwich had really tasted foul.

'It was an awful sandwich.'

"Yeah. It was. Are you coming now or do I have to come and fetch you?"

'I'll come now.'

I dropped in on my boss and said it was an emergency but I should only be an hour. I promised to work lunch. Then I took the stairs to the lobby.

'Where should I meet you?' I thought.

"The park down the road to the left." She said.

'Ok.'

I practically sprinted to the park. I hadn't realised quite how much I'd missed her. I didn't care how undignified it looked. I had missed my little sister. Let people think what they liked. I turned towards the green and scanned the crowd. I saw her standing by a big tree. Her ¾ length jeans and light blue shirt were in better nick than anything I'd ever seen her in before. She looked normal. Like any 10 year old. Well, she was still abnormally tall for her age but still. She didn't look as if she had ever had to run for her life from mad scientists. She turned and caught sight of me. She smiled a little uncertainly. Then she ran up to me. She stopped before me and looked up questioningly. I opened my arms wide and Angel threw her skinny arms around my waist in one of the best hugs I've ever had. It felt so good to get a hug from my 10 year old little sister.

After a few minutes she looked up at me.

"You have to come back." She said.

I was torn. I wanted so badly to go back, but . . . I had been gone for so long and things still hadn't changed. I obviously still loved Max. But she could have found someone else by now. She probably had.

"She hasn't" Angel said breaking into my thoughts.

I looked at her pointedly.

"What?" she said. "I'm going to use every weapon in my arsenal. I'm not just going to stand here while you convince yourself not to come home."

"Your home," I reminded her. "Not mine."

"Our home is always your home." She countered.

"You guys are better off without me." I started into my explanations but she interrupted me.

"NO WE ARE NOT." She was screaming and tears were starting to fall down her face, "You have absolutely no idea what it's been like."

"Well why don't you just fill me in." I yelled.

She went quiet and I thought I might have gone too far. Then she started to speak but almost in a whisper.

"Remember when Iggy left?" she whispered. I nodded.

"It's been at least 10 times worse than that." I stopped nodding.

"At least we knew where Iggy was. At least we could visit him. But you. You were just gone. Vanished into thin air. Until yesterday we weren't even sure if you were still alive."

I stared at her.

"And Max . . . Max is upset. Since you left . . . she's been depressed. She cries a lot but she tries not to let it show. She doesn't want us to know.

I was gob smacked. Max? Crying? Over . . . me? But why?

"She doesn't eat much anymore either and . . . YOU NEED TO COME BACK!" she bit her lip, the tears were still rolling, "you have to fix it."

I shook my head. "You don't understand. It's complicated."

"I understand a lot more than everyone seems to think. In fact I probably understand it much better than you do." She replied coldly, "For example, I understand that the Flock needs you, particularly Max and especially now."

"Why?" I asked, "Why now?"

"It's complicated." She retorted.

"Ok, I deserved that." I conceded.

"Just come to dinner tonight ok?"

"What?" I spluttered.

"Come to dinner. And you have to promise me." She pleaded.

" I- I- . . . Alright Angel. Tonight."

She scribbled the address on a sheet of paper for me and mentally sent me a picture of the house.

I whistled. "Nice."

"Yeah. Just be there ok?"

"I promise, Angel."

"Yeah well you promised Max you'd never leave," she spat out bitterly, "So I suppose I shouldn't really expect much." She turned away. But I grabbed her arm.

"I promise Angel." I said.

"Ok." She nodded and gave me a smile. "Thanks Fang."

I smiled back. "Love you little sister" I managed.

She smiled harder. "Love you too big brother." And with that she skipped off.

I smiled. I was going to have dinner with the Flock. I better bring some sparring gear. Max was going to beat me so hard. I laughed. Bad idea to make Max cry.

**Ok, so I wrote this with my Best friend Tiff having to sit here watching me while she wanted to go watch a movie. So I'm feeling just a tad bit guilty. But this one's dedicated to Tiff for not beating me over the head with my mum's keyboard. Enjoy all. Yay Angel. **

**Cat.**


	14. I'm Fine

**Ok, so this chapter has been difficult to write because there's lots of places where I just wanted to finish it early so I can skip ahead to Fang's chapter which I've enjoyed writing so far, but I know I can't do that so . . . Here goes this chapter. ****Angel plays a big part in these next few chapters because of her ability and the fact that Max has leaned heavily on her for support in place of Fang. I would have liked Max to have been able to cope on her own but I knew that my Max couldn't have. This chapter gave me some serious problems and writer's block. So much so that at one point I even considered giving up this FF and letting someone else write the end. But I knew that I couldn't leave these characters I love them all too much. So thanks for reading, the support has really boosted my confidence. Enjoy this chapter. Cat.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any of its characters. But I do own my OC and my plot. So kindly don't copy. **

_**Flashback**_

"_Come on__, Iggy," I said. "The alarm's going off."_

"_I know. I'm not deaf too," Iggy said bitterly. "I don't care. Let them find me, take me now. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters."_

_And to my horror, he sat down on the curb. I heard police sirens wailing towards us. _

"_Iggy, let's go, get up," Fang said._

"_Give me one good reason," Iggy said dropping his head into his hands. I tossed Total to Fang and the dog yipped, startled, as Fang grabbed him. "You guys go," I ordered._

_Fang took off, but the f__lock stayed nearby, hovering. The police sirens were getting closer. _

_I leaned down. "Listen, Iggy," I said tensely. "I'm sorry about tonight. I know how disappointed you are. We're all disappointed. And I'm sorry you're blind. I remember when you weren't, and I can't even imagine what it must be like to lose that. I'm sorry we're mutant bird kids, I'm sorry we don't have parents. I'm sorry we have Erasers and people trying to kill us all the time._

"_But if you think I'm going to let you give up on us now, you've got another think coming. __**Yes**__, you're a blind mutant freak, but you're __**my **__blind mutant freak, and you're coming with me, __**now**__, you're coming with __**us**__ right __**now**__, or I swear I will kick your skinny white a from here to the middle of next week."_

_Iggy raised his head. Flashes of light told me the cops were almost on top of us. _

"_Iggy, I __**need**__ you," I said urgently. "I __**love**__ you. I need __**all **__of you, all __**five**__ of you, to feel whole myself. Now get up before I kill you."_

_**End Flashback**_

In the end Iggy had gotten up and we'd flown away from that street and the cops back to Anne's. Why was I remembering this particular little moment right now? My second last sentence. _I need all of you, all five of you, to feel whole myself. _It was so true. So maddeningly true. I hadn't been whole for a long time. I sighed. Where was optimistic Max from yesterday? The Max that had been sure we would find Fang within 2 weeks. I missed that Max. Now I realised just how impossible that task was. Naples was a big place. I couldn't exactly go around knocking on doors saying 'Hi, I was wondering if a guy called Fang lives here? Yes, that's right, Fang. No sir don't shut the door pleas-'

No don't think so. So what's my plan of attack? I haven't got one. Just like yesterday morning. I was just plum out of ideas. I sighed again. I checked the time. I needed to pick up the youngsters from school.

I got into the car and winced when my butt collided with a small object on my seat. I craned my neck around to get a good look at what exactly had prodded my posterior. Ah, one of Gazzy's screws had found its pointy way into my car seat. Lovely, just what I needed. I was so not in the mood. I pulled it out and put it on top of the dashboard. Shaking my head, I switched on the radio. Red Hot Chilli Peppers pumped out of the cars speakers. I smiled. I needed something nice and loud. The radio had read my mind. I turned it up and started to reverse out of the driveway. For all of you sitting there wondering, yes I do have a license. Although technically, I did get it almost two years before was legal. Say at 14 and a1/2. So, yeah. But we really had needed some way to get around. I mean have you ever used the public transport in Florida? Yeah, mucho not good. For one thing the buses look like some kind of 70's throwback. The other people on board are sometimes even weirder than us, and that's saying something. Oh, and the air conditioning? Totally never works. And trust me, you need it down here. Even in the winter. Although twice now, we had flown up to New York for Christmas, mostly for the snow, but also in the vague hope that Fang might be looking for us there. It was 2 weeks to Christmas. We wouldn't be leaving for New York this year though. I wanted to spend my last Christmas with my flock at my Mom's. We were going to Colorado, to see Ella and my mom and my dad. At least, we were now. I wanted my last days to be with all my family. Even if Fang couldn't be there. Which I was hoping he could. I still didn't know what to do about finding him. Suddenly. . .

"Max?" I heard.

'Yes Angel?' I thought. Her powers must be getting stronger if she could even find me in the car. I was only partly focusing on our conversation on account of me still not being a particularly good driver. I was just pulling off the dual carriageway when she sent her thoughts to me again.

"I've found him."

I turned down the radio and focused my attention on Angel. 'Found who sweetie? Aren't you in class?' Now I was starting to wonder.

"No, I skipped school." She replied.

'You WHAT?' What was Angel doing skipping school?

"I skipped school," she repeated cheerfully. "But I found him."

I was almost afraid to ask. 'Found who Angel?'

"Fang, silly." She giggled.

I almost crashed the car.

'You WHAT?' I almost screamed but I managed to say it silently in my head.

"I found Fang." She replied. "He's coming over for dinner tonight. He promised."

Ok, this time I did crash the car.

My sincerest apologies to the Mac Anna family if they don't get any mail for a while. The school was only a little further down the road so I reversed out of the remains of the Mac Anna's post-box and hurriedly left the incriminating scene of my hit-and-run. I forced all thoughts of Fang out of my head until I had safely picked up and deposited Nudge and Gazzy at home.

I dragged myself into the living room and came this close to collapsing on the couch. But if what Angel had said was true, and there was no sense in assuming it wasn't, then I needed to find her, and then call Iggy to come home early from college today. If he missed Fang he would never forgive me. Angel was in her room picking out an outfit for tonight. Typical.

"Angel, sweetie, what exactly happened today,"

"I found Fang at his work and I invited him home for dinner tonight. I wouldn't have told you except that he promised. So I know he won't not turn up and hurt all of our feelings and crush all our hope. I thought you'd be happy if Fang came over. But you don't look very happy. Are you? Happy, I mean."

I nodded.

"I'm glad. I'm going to go ask Nudge what she thinks I should wear."

"Wait Angel, honey. Don't get too dressed up okay? It's Fang; he won't mind what you wear."

"Okay. I'll go tell Gazzy and Nudge the good news."

"You do that and I'll give Iggy a call." She started to skip out of the room when I suddenly remembered. "Angel?" I called after her.

"Uh-huh?" Her head pooped back around the door frame.

"Don't skip school again ok? But thank you."

She smiled. "That's ok. I like school." And she skipped off.

Shaking my head for the umpteenth time today I pulled my cell out of my jeans and picked Iggy's name out of my contacts. He finally picked up.

"Yello?" he called down the line.

"Hey Ig."

"Yo Max. What's up?"

"I know you have a class tonight Ig but you're going to have to come home early tonight."

"Let me guess. You need me to cook. Who for this time?" I could practically hear him smirking down the line.

"Just the family." I said. "The _whole_ family."

"What, like, Jeb? Ella?"

"Think closer."

Silence.

"No way."

"Way."

"How did you-?

"You can thank Angel when you get home. Just be back for 5."

"Will do."

"Good man. See you at 5."

"See you at 5. Oh, and Max?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks, for calling."

"Of course I called. Why wouldn't I?"

"Maybe, because, you might have been too focused on Fang. I was worried you might forget the rest of us. Cause, you know, you love him."

"Yeah but Iggy you're forgetting. I love all of you. I need all of you to be whole."

"Whoa dude, total déjà vu. Where have I heard that before?"

"Yeah, I know I need to get some new speeches, but I've never heard you try."

"True, true. Thanks anyway, for calling. We love you too."

"Yeah I know. Hey wait? Do you need a lift or is Alice ok to give you one?"

"No I'm good. Alice said she was free all day today."

"Ok well I'll see you at five then Figgy."

He chuckled. "I'll see you too Fmax."

I hung up. It had been a long time since any of us had felt ok with cracking that particular joke. I smiled. I wonder would Fnick remember. It was still only registering that we were going to see Fang tonight. I heard jubilant shrieks from Nudge's room and a few whoops of joy. By the sounds of it Nudge and Gazzy were taking it well.

Oh my God. What was I going to wear? Forget what I'd said to Angel. What if Fang did mind!? I couldn't let him see me looking like I'd just crawled backwards out of a hedge. Which I had by the way, Total had jumped for Angel's Frisbee and crashed into the neighbour's garden. Now as much as I would have loved the dog to jump I knew that a tiny dog like Total being able to jump clear over the hedge was going to tip the neighbours off that he wasn't exactly normal. So I yelled at him to stay and crawled through the hedge to fetch him, obviously I couldn't fly for the reason stated above. So joy of joys, it was 5 o'clock and I had twigs sticking out of the top of my head. I looked in the mirror. Oh my God. Screw what I was going to wear! I needed a shower! No snap out of it Max. You're thinking like a girl about to go on a date! This is not a date. This is Fang. He's only coming because he promised Angel. Not because he loves you. Don't get your hopes up. He's probably found someone else by now. He's only coming over for old time's sake. Get a grip. I looked at the girl in the mirror again and she stared back at me sadly. I sighed. He probably wouldn't come anyway. Since when had Fang kept his promises? He had promised me he'd never leave again. But he had. Then again I hadn't kept my promises either. I remembered a time on the beach in Florida the first time we'd visited. It was just after I had had a total freak out and tried to cut the chip out of my arm with a broken sea shell. Not a good plan. I still had the scar on my arm. Fang had been mucho angry with me.

_Flashback_

_We were silent for a while. My arm was throbbing. _

"_So what was that about?" Fang said finally._

_I couldn't pretend to not know what he was talking about. "I'm just – really tired. The Voice was ragging on me about my destiny and how I have to get on the stick about saving the world. It just feels like too much sometimes." I never would have admitted that to the others. Sure, I could tell them that things were getting to me, but let them know I wasn't sure I could handle it? No way._

"_I've been running on adrenaline, without a master plan. Every day it's just, keep the flock safe, keep us together. But now everything else has been dumped on me, all these bits and pieces that aren't adding up to a big picture, and it's all too much."_

"_Pieces like Ari and Jeb and Anne and the Voice?"_

"_Yeah. Everything. Everything that's happened to us since we left home. I don't know what to do, and it's so freaking hard even pretending that I do."_

"_Walk away from it," Fang said. "Let's find an island. Drop off the screen."_

"_That sounds really good," I said slowly. "But we'd have to get the others on board. I'm pretty sure the younger kids still really want to find their parents. And now I want to find out what this company is that Angel heard about. What if – you do research on an island possibility and I'll focus on this other stuff?" It was the closest I'd ever come to sharing my role as leader. Actually, it didn't feel so bad. _

"_Yeah, cool," Fang said._

_For a few minutes we watched Angel and the Gasman playing in the shallow surf. I was amazed they weren't cold, but they seemed fine. Iggy and Nudge were walking down the beach. Nudge was putting different-shaped shells in Iggy's hands so he could feel them. I wanted time to freeze here, right here, right now, forever. _

_There was something I needed to say. "Sorry. About before."_

_Fang shot a sideways glance at me, his eyes dark and inscrutable, as always. He looked back out at the water. I didn't expect any more acknowledgement than that. Fang never- _

"_You almost gave me a heart attack," he said quietly._

"_When I saw you, and all that blood . . ." He threw a small rock as hard as he could down the beach._

"_I'm sorry."_

"_Don't do it again," he said._

_I swallowed hard. "I won't"_

_Something changed right then, but I didn't know what._

"_Hey!" said Angel, standing up in knee-high water. "I can talk to fish!"_

_That wasn't it._

_End Flashback_

But I had done it again, since he'd left, too many times for me to want to remember. I closed my eyes. I blocked the memories. They weren't worth remembering. They had only been painful, for everyone involved. It was over. It had been over a year since I had made any attempts. I was stable. So why did my reflection show such a guilty face. I stared harder at the mirror as if to try and tell it to lie to me, to tell me what I told everyone else, that I was fine. I laughed bitterly, how Fang. His favourite sentence was _I'm fine._ I turned to check the marks on my neck. They were still there. 6 dark numbers against my pale skin. I looked back at my face. I shook my head and turned on the water. I needed a shower.

**Ok, this is my longest chapter yet! In all fairness though I did use a lot of James Patterson's**** original material. Those flashbacks were real. You might have recognised them from the books. The first flashback was from MR2 chapter 37 pages 108 -109. The second flashback was also from MR2 chapter 104 pages 303- 305. So they probably filled up a lot of my space. I'm quite pleased with myself for finishing this chapter. On to Fang's chapter, the one where he comes back. The one I've been working up to since the beginning. I hope you'll all enjoy that one for now. I leave you. Thanks Cat.**

**P.S. Mac Anna is one of my best friends' second names. She read these books at the same time as me. Alice is another of my friends names and I got her hooked on Maximum Ride so this is kind of a chapter for them seeing as I used their names. **


	15. No Not In The Kitchen!

**Ok, so here's my next chapter the one everyone's been bugging me for. I enjoyed writing this chapter****. I want you guys to see the house the way I do. I absolutely adore writing from Fang's POV. It gives me this great perspective. He's such an interesting character, and we don't really get to see what's going on in his head in the books. So here goes. I'm also introducing a new OC and I hope you're all going to hate him as much as me and Fang will. So enjoy this chapter. I'm going to try and put up a diagram of their house on my bio for anyone who's interested. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any**** of its characters. But I do own my OC and my plot. So kindly don't copy. **

So get this, when I knocked on the front door of the house Angel had shown me, I was nervous. Yes, me, Fang, nervous. Hard to believe, but that's how I felt. Oh sure I've been scared a lot in my life. But it's always been a pure, over riding, mind numbing fear. Nervous was new. In my whole 18 years on this earth, I had never once been nervous. My nerves weren't calmed by Nudge opening the door and staring at me as if I were a ghost.

"Maaaaaaax?" she screamed. Max came sprinting down the corridor wrapped in a towel. Her hair was dripping on the floor and her slippers were falling off.

"Nudge wha-?" she stopped and stared at me. My whole body was screaming at me to run now, before it got messy.

"Fang?" she whispered.

Suddenly Angel burst out of a door to Nudge's left.  
"You came!" she yelled and crashed into me. This seemed to pull Nudge out of her trance and she yelled "Fang's home!" while launching herself at me. Suddenly Gazzy shot around the corner behind Max and launched himself at me, almost knocking me off the porch. I came up for air just in time to see Iggy walk out the door to the right.

"What's this about Fang?" he asked confused.

"Hey Ig," I managed to choke out while Angel scrabbled over Gazzy to wrap her arms around my neck.

"You're back!" he exclaimed, "I knew you'd miss my cooking someday." I chuckled and started to attempt to detach my youngest siblings.

"Hey guys," I said removing Nudge's arms from around my left leg. "I missed you too, but if you keep choking me, I won't be able to breathe and then you'll have a dead body to bury and nobody wants that now do we?" Angel giggled and hugged my right leg harder. I risked a glance up at Max. She was still standing there in her towel looking completely shell shocked.

"Hi Max," I called. She started shaking her head as if to clear it out. Then she must have realised what she was wearing, because her face went bright red.

"I'm just going to . . . um . . . I-" She made some motions towards her towel and I nodded. "Yeah, sure go ahead." Then she ran back down the corridor away from me. Iggy looked in my direction. "Well that went well," he smirked, as only a blind guy can. "But look on the bright side; at least she didn't rip your head off."

"Yeah," I muttered. "That's true." But it probably would have been a better sign if she had. Then Nudge grabbed my hand and motioned for me to come inside.

"I want to show you the house," she said. "It's so big and we've all got our own rooms even Total! There's even a room for you. Max said we should keep it so that if you came back you wouldn't have to live in a hotel or something." I just stared at her as she continued to talk, and talk, and talk. Yep, she was still the same old Nudge, no matter how different she looked. I could barely take it in. It connected in my mind then that Nudge was 15 now. No wonder she looked so . . . em . . . how should I say . . . developed? Weird. I had never really thought of the flock getting any older. That didn't stop it from happening, but I hadn't even been able to imagine it. I looked at Iggy, he was fractionally taller since I'd said goodbye to him in Colorado, not by much though, and a good thing too, or he'd be a freaking giant. His hair was cut in a sort of spiky style that made his head look like it was on fire. His face was more lined than it used to be. Weird. Was that just because he was getting older, or was something else causing it? Suddenly, I heard a wicked giggle from my left. Turning to face my youngest brother, I started to smile but stopped short. I recognised that face, that innocent expression, the one where the mischief was clearly written in his eyes. "Oh No!" I yelled and dive bombed through the door to my left. I was followed closely by Nudge and Angel, slamming the door behind them. I only hoped for Iggy's sake he had gotten out on time. Suddenly I heard him out in the corridor. "NO NOT IN THE KITCHEN!" I heard The Gasman cackle maniacally. That had been a close call. Gazzy's namesake was not a smell I had missed these last four years; in fact, it had taken me months to get it out of my old clothes when I'd first arrived at the home. Poor Iggy, if that stink got into the kitchen . . . well, all I can say is, I wouldn't be eating in there.

Nudge tugged my arm and pointed to the room around me. "This is the living room," she told me. I looked around at the room we had narrowly escaped into. Wow.

"Max really fixed you guys up with a great place." I whistled.

Angel and Nudge shared a look.

"Actually, it was mostly Keith." Angel practically whispered. I tried not to narrow my eyes. I failed miserably.

"Who's Keith?" I asked, trying to sound disinterested. I failed at that too.

"He's one of our neighbours and he's Iggy's best friend. They go to college together. He spends lots of time here. He helped us pick most of the furniture He's really, really cute. He has these dreamy blue eyes, and beautiful blonde hair. He looks like a super model and Max says-"

"Let's show Fang the music room." Angel said, butting in on Nudge's unending description of this Keith guy. I gave her a look but she avoided my eyes. Nudge shrugged her acceptance and we headed up the stairs, but I couldn't help but wonder what Nudge had been about to say. Who was this Keith guy exactly? Where did he fit into Max's little world? I could say one thing about the guy for sure though. He had good taste. I took one last look at the dark red walls, cream carpet, black couches and (get this) a plasma TV, then I headed upstairs. It was time to see the rest of the house.

**I was going to write more but I decided this was actually a good place to stop. I'm going to take Fang on a tour of the house so that I can describe it all to you but first I want some of Max's perspective. I have one question to ask you though. If I slotted a songfic into the next chapter that works really, really well and which I've been dying to try do you think it would ruin the flow of the story? Let me know what you think because I'd like to start writing the next chapter soon but I'm unsure which way to do it. Thanks for all the support. Cat**


	16. Behind These Hazel Eyes

**Ok, so I'm writing this chapter as a songfic because I found this song yesterday and I've never found a song that so perfectly fit what I wanted to say before. I mean, Max even has brown eyes! I'm absolutely ecstatic because I just noticed I had 112 reviews! So thanks to all of you who sent me their opinions I appreciate it greatly. The song is **_**"Behind These Hazel Eyes"**_** by Kelly Clarkson. I don't listen to much pop but she's a remarkably good singer so I like her stuff. Also I'm updating really soon because I got a couple of reviews and they all said go for it and I already had it written and I don't want to think about it anymore. If it's bad it's bad. But I know if I sleep on it I'll just end up hating it in the morning. So I'm putting it up now. Enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any**** of its characters. But I do own my 2 OCs and my plot. So kindly don't copy. **

I stared into my mirror breathing heavily. He was here, he was really here. It was unbelievable, but it still hurt so much to look at him. I had thought I'd only be happy to see him but there were so many conflicting emotions burning inside of me. It had been so long but I could still remember how it felt when we were all still together. We were strong; we were a flock, a family. I was whole. We were all together, all a part of the flock, my flock._ I need __**all **__of you, all __**five**__ of you, to feel whole myself._ We were a part of each other. I hadn't been whole for a long time. I let out the feelings I had been holding back in the hallway. I switched on the radio to cover the sound of my tears. The old Kelly Clarkson song from all those years ago came on. I turned it up. I wasn't going to be picky today. All I needed was background noise.

_  
Seems like just yesterday  
You were a part of me  
I used to stand so tall  
I used to be so strong_

We were a team. Everything we did we did together and that made everything we did right. My body wracked with my sobs and the girl in the mirror shook and gripped the edges of the sink. He had always been there for me when I needed him. _No, he wasn't_ _there in Germany. _But that had been a once off, until . . . I shook my head. He had helped me be strong when nothing was working. He was my best friend and my right hand man.

_  
Your arms around me tight  
Everything, it felt so right  
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong_

Now I couldn't be strong. Not even for the flock. I hadn't been strong for a long time. I hadn't slept much these past few years. I found it to difficult to face going to sleep when I knew that when I woke up he would still be missing. I would still have lost a member of my flock, my family. I was barely hanging on to life until last year. Now I wanted to live but I knew I couldn't for much longer. I was trying to breathe but it was so hard. My tears were flowing down my face burning my cheeks and spilling onto my shirt.

_  
Now I can't breathe  
No, I can't sleep  
I'm barely hanging on_

Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes

He was my right hand man. I had told him everything. Except that I had loved him. But other than that, over the year since we had left our home, when Angel had been stolen, up to the day he left us, I had started to open up to him, to start depending on him, letting him help me to lead the flock. He kept me from breaking down so many times. Then he made me break down when he left. I started to pull back form the edge of the abyss. It was over, he was back. I could stop crying now couldn't I? I wiped my face with a cloth. It was time to go out and live. I didn't have long. I had to make sure he was going to stay. I had two weeks to convince Fang that he had to look after the Flock when I was gone. I shuddered. The tears had stopped.

__

I told you everything  
Opened up and let you in  
You made me feel alright  
For once in my life

Now I'm broken. I looked in the mirror again at the face staring back at me, the one with the shadows under the eyes and the red tear marks streaking down her face. That wasn't the girl I used to be. Who was this new person? When had I become her and why hadn't I noticed? I didn't like her. She was the side of me that I hated. She cried and she thought about Fang all the time. The real Max was so far away. It had been so long since I had been the real me. The me I was still pretending to be. The me I wished I could be again.

_  
Now all that's left of me  
Is what I pretend to be  
So together, but so broken up inside_

I'm a shell of the person I used to be, a shell that couldn't seem to stop crying. A shell that took midnight flights in the hopes of finding him instead of sleeping. The shell that left her family practically to fend for itself, for fear she'd drive another one away. Maybe the less contact she had with them; the less likely it was that they'd leave. Then at least they could be together. Even if it made her cry even harder.

_  
'Cause I can't breathe  
No, I can't sleep  
I'm barely hangin' on_

Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes

We were so close and then he just left. There were so many things we never had the chance to do. So many things we could have been to each other. I hate him for leaving, but I can't hate him because it hurts. If I hadn't argued with him he wouldn't have left. If I hadn't chased him away he'd still be here. It was my fault. I hated myself for making him leave. All my fault.

__

Swallow me then spit me out  
For hating you, I blame myself

When I saw him standing in our doorway I was just so angry and upset and in love at the same time. It almost killed me feeling so many emotions hit me so hard at the same time. He was just so . . . Fang. So the same, but different. He was older, a little taller; his hair was just slightly flopping over his eyes. It was still as dark as I remembered it. I had just wanted to break down and cry when he just said "Hi Max." as if he hadn't been gone for 4 years, 2 months and 3 days. As if he hadn't left us in a wood in Colorado with nothing but a letter of goodbye. As if the last time I'd seen him I hadn't been half asleep in his arms having a nightmare where he died. As if I didn't only have 2 weeks left to live. But I didn't cry. I left, and with good reason seeing as I was standing there in the hallway with nothing but a towel on. I didn't cry on the outside. I cried on the inside instead. I didn't cry until I reached the safety of my room, until I saw myself in the mirror. As long as none of the flock saw me, I could cry. There was no one to see but the mirror. I looked at my reflection. The girl stared back at me. The tear marks were finally gone.

_  
Seeing you it kills me now  
No, I don't cry on the outside  
Anymore..._

Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes

Yes I was a different person. But I only had to pretend to be the real Max for another two weeks. The Max I was before Fang left. Instead of this person I hated. I looked at my face and my hazel eyes flashed back in defiance. Or maybe I wouldn't have to pretend. Defiance was an old Max trait. Defiance was a good start. Maybe I would go back to being the real Max now that Fang was back. It was time to be me again, and me would have beaten Fang to a bloody pulp. Fang deserved a beating, and I was just the right person to give him one. I smiled, and I realized that the beating could wait. This was what the flock wanted, this was what I wanted, the flock was finally happy, I was happy. I smiled again and this time my eyes sparkled with happiness. My flock was together again. My reckoning could wait. Tonight I was going to be with my family. I was still smiling at the mirror when I heard a small knock on the door.

"Yes?"

"It's me." I heard Gazzy mumble.

"Ok Gazzy I'm coming out now," I called. "Where's Fang?"

"With the girls they're giving him a tour of the house."

I stepped out of the bathroom.

"Why aren't you with them?" I asked.

"I wanted to see if you were okay." He said. I smiled at him. He was such a little sweetie.

"I'm fine now," I told him. "Why don't we go help Iggy out?"

"Ok" he responded cheerfully and he headed for the kitchen. I looked at the mirror again. I looked different. I looked like Max. I looked happy. I was letting the flock back in. I was going to live the two weeks I had left.

Fang would never know how hard I'd cried over him. I wasn't going to let him. I turned and walked out the door. I was sure if I had looked the mirror would be showing the defiance still alight in my eyes. Fang was going to stay with the flock whether he liked it or not. I was going to make sure of it. Once I made sure we could trust him. My reckoning could wait. But it was time for the pop quiz and I hoped he would pass. Because otherwise I was going to have to beat him even harder than I'd thought.

__

Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes

**Soooooo? What did you think? I just really love the song. It fit so well I couldn't not use it. But I don't think I'll be putting anymore songfics in. At least, I haven't planned any. I think it works but I'm not sure. Anyway, on to Fang's chapter. Hope you enjoyed this. And a special call out to ruby1792 again for being my Potter pal :P**

**Thanks for caring everyone.**

**Cat**


	17. Books? For The Blind Kid?

**Ok, back**** to normal written chapters. This is Fang again for those of you who can't follow the whole order thing. Although I hope there aren't many of you because it's not exactly rocket science! Sorry that the centre thing didn't work for some of the song. I tried to change it and make it all left but then it disappeared!! So I just let the computer do what it wanted. Enjoy this chapter with all of its house descriptions. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any**** of its characters. But I do own my 2 OCs and my plot. So kindly don't copy. **

I walked up the circular stairs from the living room. It was time to see the rest of the house. When I reached the top Nudge put her hand in mine and Angel picked Total up from a cushion on the floor.

"This is the music room." Angel announced. I looked around the dark blue room, staring at what looked like an entire orchestra of instruments. There was a grand piano in the corner, a plethora of guitars leaning against the far wall, a drum kit in the opposite corner to the piano, 2 keyboards set into the wall, a few different sized saxophones by the drums tucked neatly into their boxes and a sound studio down the whole right-hand side of the room. I whistled.

"You play all these?" I asked impressed.

"Some of them," Nudge said. "Max can play more than I can. Iggy likes to play the piano and Gazzy's pretty good at the guitar."

I looked at Angel.

"The saxophones and the drums are mine." She said.

"The drums?" I questioned raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah." She shrugged, blushing. "I like the drums."

I looked at Total.

"Hey don't look at me," he muttered. "How could I play an instrument?"

I raised my eyebrow higher.

"The piano," he finally muttered. "Not that there are any dog-friendly pieces. They're all written for things with 5 fingers on each limb." He grumbled.

"Good dog." I teased patting him on the head. He bit my fingers and stomped back to his cushion in the corner.

"Condescending . . . up his own . . . can't see what she sees in him . . . stupid . . . good dog my . . . condescending." He continued to grumble in the corner while Angel led me across the room, to the door in the opposite wall. I had an overwhelming urge to stay here in this room full of music and pluck away at one of the guitars, but I was also curious to see the rest of the house. Maybe later, I thought, and followed Angel out the door to a new room.

It was dark red with cream carpet, reminiscent of the living room, but unlike the living room it was crammed full with games. A pool table, a foosball table, pinball machines, Playstation 4, Nintendo wii (the new generation), any game you could think of, it was probably in this room. Nudge tugged me towards the stairs and we cleverly avoided the stinky hallway by slipping straight into Total's room once we were downstairs. To see all the rooms we would have had to start with mine, which was apparently at the furthest end of the house but Max's was right next to mine and Total's so we decided to skip mine and Max's to leave her to her privacy and start with Total's. We stepped inside and I almost swore. I mean, that dog had had a bigger room than I had these past 4 years. I had been in a dorm with 5 other boys that was half the size of this! The dog had lived better than I had! There was something wrong with this picture. But before I could even start to complain Angel had dragged me into her room.

Each room had 4 doors. Max, Angel, Total and Gazzy's rooms all had 2 doors connecting with other bedrooms, 1 door to the hallway and one door to the garden. While Nudge, Iggy and mine were all on the ends of the house. So, I was on the end opposite the family room, Nudge on the end opposite Iggy and Iggy on the end beside the kitchen. So we all had 1 door to another bedroom (except for Ig who had 1 door to the kitchen), 1door to the hallway and 2 doors to the garden. There were at least 2 escape routes in every room in the house. Max was obviously still as paranoid as ever. There was a private en suite for each member of the flock (except Total obviously) in their rooms, but there was also a bathroom in the living room for guests. Got all that? No? Me neither. I had this thrown at me by Nudge at 90 miles an hour while we were walking from Total's room into Angel's. Impressive huh? The Nudge Channel was definitely still up and running. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Funny how I'd missed that. I'd talked so little that Nudge sort of balanced out my silence with her relentless monologue.

Angel tugged on my sleeve.

"Faaaaaaaaang." She whined. "You're not listening."

I knew better than to lie to a mind reader so I just apologised and she started to talk again.

"This is my room. It's pink. I love it."

I looked around. Well at least it wasn't Barbie pink. It was a lot more subtle and the curtains matched and so did the bed sheets. My eye was drawn to a large cylindrical shelf thing in the middle of the room. It was absolutely crammed with every stuffed animal imaginable. There were deer and sheep and monkeys and dinosaurs. It was insane. A grubby looking Celeste held pride of place on Angel's pillow. I smiled. That fluffy bear had been through a lot. I glanced at Angel. Not as much as its owner I'd admit, but still.

I noticed a desk by the hallway door. It was covered in paper and colouring pencils but, poking out from underneath them, was a laptop. I started towards it but Angel grabbed my hand.

"Come see Gazzy's room." She pleaded. I nodded and she dragged me past the stuffed lions and bears and into the Gasman's room. I looked around at his blue room, covered in posters of rockets and engines. The red bed sheets were covered in wires as was every other available surfaces. There were blueprints scattered all over the workbench in the middle of the room. I walked over and started to shuffle the papers around. They were all blueprints for a small rocket ship. I was highly impressed. Had Gazzy managed all this by himself? Suddenly Nudge walked in with a jumper held up in front of her.

"Angel this is so cute. Can I borrow it for my date tomorrow night?" she squealed. Angel cocked her head and thought about it. I could see her struggling with her own love of the jumper and the fear it would not be returned and her generosity. Generosity must have won because she nodded and Nudge ran over and gave her a huge hug.

"A date?" I questioned, raising my eyebrow.

"Yeah." She said shyly, and then, get this, she stopped talking. One word, it was the shortest sentence that had ever tumbled from Nudge's forever moving mouth. She was more articulate than this in the _mornings_, and Nudge _hates _mornings.

"Elaborate." I said, "Give me a name."

"Mark." She mumbled.

I smiled. "Is he cute?"

She nodded, a lot. I smiled even more.

"I'm glad," I said giving her a swift hug. "I hope you have fun."

Her face burst into a smile.

"So, how long has the Gasman been working on this?" I asked them both pointing at the rocket blueprints.

"Oh we've been working on it for about 7 months." Nudge said.

"All of you have?" I asked. Gazzy usually only worked solo or with Iggy, family projects weren't exactly his style.

"No, it's just me and Gazzy." She explained. "He does the wiring and I do the engines and the boosters and stuff."

I almost stared at her but caught myself just in time. I remembered a time in Florida when Nudge had been able to rebuild a car out of spare parts like a jigsaw puzzle. What could I say? The girl was just full of surprises.

"Mark's a lucky guy." I told her smiling. She blushed and then she and Angel dragged me into the next room.

"This is my room." Nudge said proudly.

I found myself looking at what was basically a giant wardrobe. Um, wow. Where Angel had had a stuffed toy collection, and Gazzy a workbench, Nudge had a huge cylindrical wardrobe. As if that weren't enough, there were 2 more against the far wall and a shoe rack by her bed.

"Nudge, do you run a clothes store or something?" I asked astounded. The two girls giggled. I looked around and another desk caught my eye. It also had a laptop sitting underneath some catalogues. I realised there had been one in Gazzy's room as well somewhere beneath all the wires. Was there a reason there was a laptop in every room? Was there a reason they all appeared to be closed but were all still on? I looked to Angel and she stared back at me with her blue eyes.

"In case you ever started another blog," she whispered. "They're programmed to constantly search for a blog owned by, or mentioning someone called Fang. We've had a lot of false alarms obviously since everyone was talking about us after Germany, but Max asked us to keep them on anyway, just in case. She thought maybe if you were ever in trouble and needed us, you'd try to get through to us through the internet."

I just stared at her for a few seconds. They had been looking for me all this time? They obviously didn't know what was best for them, but for the first time in 4 years I was suddenly wondering, did I? Had I really known what was best for the flock? Had I really done what was best by leaving them all those years ago? For the first time in 4 years I was starting to think that the answer might actually be no.

After that shocking little realisation Angel slipped her hand into mine.

"We all make mistakes Fang," she told me. "Some of them are just more obvious than others. Would you like to see Iggy's room now?"

"Yeah, that sounds good." I said and she walked me out into the hallway, which I was relieved to notice, had lost its smell of eau de fart. Iggy's room was a light green, with a workbench like Gazzy's beside a bookshelf and forest green recliner. I gave the two girls a look that clearly said You-have-to-be-kidding.

"Books? For the blind kid?" I felt the need to point out the obvious mistake.

"Oh, they're cookery books in Braille," Nudge explained. "There are audio tapes as well. He's learnt French, Spanish, Japanese, Russian and Italian all from tapes too."

Iggy and Gazzy walked in from the kitchen.

"Yeah I was planning on learning sign language, but they said I couldn't do the course." Iggy said grinning. I stared at him for a few seconds and then I figured it out and I couldn't stop laughing. I pulled the also laughing Iggy into a hug.

"I missed you man," I told him. "Life's no fun without my blind brother to tease."

"Yeah, yeah," he said. "Admit it you missed my cooking."

"You're right they just don't roast a good rat in Atlanta." I chuckled and all five of us broke down laughing. It was nice. I'd forgotten what it was like to laugh with people you loved. It made you feel so accepted.

Suddenly I saw Max standing in the doorway and her stance, her standoffishness, just drained my feelings of acceptance. I couldn't tell if she was happy or angry. I don't think she could either, but she was definitly upset. She walked in and tapped Iggy's shoulder.

"Pasta's just about done." She told him and he nodded, heading back to the kitchen. Gazzy followed him out mouthing 'Good Luck' at me behind Max's back.

Max looked at the other two.

"I need to speak to Fang in private for a while, okay?"

"Ok." They said in unison and Max walked out into the hallway. I followed her. Suddenly I was nervous again. I was nervous of Max, of my best friend in the entire world. She was going to ask why I left. She was going to yell at me. Maybe she'd even hit me. I was sure she was going to ask me to leave. She hadn't invited me after all, Angel had.

I followed her into her room and I was shocked by the colour, mostly because there was none. The entire room was black, from the ceiling covered in tiny glittering 'stars', to the carpet littered with books and sheet music. The desk was black, as was the bed sheets and the couch, even the punching bag in the far corner. It was all black. The only splash of colour was Max herself. How reminiscent of life. Max and the flock were the only splash of colour in my otherwise bleak existence. Her blonde hair, dark blue shirt and faded light blue denim jeans were such a contrast to this dark room. She looked at my face then, her hazel eyes flashing in defiance and I think anger, but suddenly, they softened and she looked at me as if she was begging me to save her, but I didn't know from what. Then she opened her mouth as if to say something. I braced myself for yelling or screaming but there was nothing. After a few seconds, I heard her practically whisper four words. A question I wasn't sure I could answer.

"Can I trust you?"

**Well? Can she? ****You won't know until I update! Wow, well that was a fun chapter. Did you get all those descriptions in? By the way Nudge's room is a lilac colour for anyone who's interested. I didn't mention it because I figure Fang wouldn't have been able to see it with all those wardrobes in the way. I did a lot of Nudge in this because I think she's sort of ignored as a character in most FF's , absolutely no criticism to anyone about that, just, that I like the idea of the Nudge Channel, and I want to expand, and let them have relationships outside the flock, thus, Mark, Alice, Keith. They have lives now, best friends, boy friends, friends who give them lifts to and from college. I like the idea that the one thing Max has done is try to let the younger ones live the lives her, Fang and Iggy never really got the chance to have. Iggy's kind of living it up too I will admit. All will be explained later as to what Max has been doing this whole time, but for now, I'm going to leave you with that last question. Till next chapter. Thanks. Cat **

**ps Also I am fully aware there's no such thing as a Playstation 4 or a new generation of Nintendo wii. My point was that ****its 4 years later and technology has evolved! **


	18. Blue Eyes Are Recessive

**Ok, lots of positive reactions to my last chapter so thank you all. ****I always find it easy to write Fang and Max scenes because they just click so well. So here's a sort of Fax scene. There will be more later; this is just sort of a warm up. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any**** of its characters. But I do own my 3 OCs and my plot. So kindly don't copy. **

I looked at Fang then. I had been avoiding his gaze all the way to my room and now I caught it. His face was completely impassive I almost screamed at him I was so angry. But I remembered that I had to ask him a question first. His future, all of our futures depended on his response. I had to know.

"Can I trust you?"

He took his time answering, every second felt like an eternity to me, a long, agonizing eternity. His face was still so impassive, so uncaring, so unlike the laughing face I had seen not a few minutes ago. The face he wore when he was with the flock, but not when he was with me. Only with me did he suddenly revert to Mister Emotionless. At least I knew he hadn't changed. He was only being so carefree because he hadn't seen them in a long time, I thought, but a voice in the back of my head reminded me that he hadn't seen me in a long time either. I felt a sharp twist in my gut. He could laugh and joke with them and act as if he hadn't left 4 years ago, as if he hadn't broken their hearts, hadn't reduced them to tears, but me? No. God forbid he should be himself with me. With me he clammed up. With me he closed off. He was blocking me out. My gut twisted again. I needed him to respond now. To tell me it was alright. I looked at him; but he was staring at the floor. I needed him to say yes. I needed him to say he would stay. I needed him to be Fang again. Not whoever he'd been for the last four years.

I knew Fang would understand the question. I knew Fang of all people would understand what I had meant when I'd asked if I could trust him. I knew, that he knew, that "Can I trust you?" didn't mean I was about to tell him a secret or give him something to keep safe for me. No. I know, that he knew, that to me, "Can I trust you?" meant "Can I trust you never to leave again without saying goodbye, can I trust you not to hurt them by leaving them behind, can I trust you to look after them or should I just kill you now?" I knew I could trust Fang not to just say yes to get out of trouble. Fang would tell me the truth, because that was who he was. If he was even considering running he would say no, I couldn't trust him. I looked at him again. He blended with my room. His black combats and jacket setting off his hair. His red shirt however, splashed colour onto his otherwise dark exterior. That was new. I searched his face for his answer. I was practically dying here and all he could do was stare at the floor. I needed him to say yes. I needed him to say something, anything. Suddenly he looked up at me. His dark eyes staring at my face.

"Yes," he said finally. "I think so."

Relief flooded through my body and I felt muscles relax that I hadn't even known were tensed. Air rushed out of my body. Had I been holding my breath all that time? I relaxed my stance, stepping out of my patented, aggressive 'you've-done-it-now' and into my more neutral 'I'm-letting-you-off-for-now-but-you-don't-want-to-annoy-me'.

I was bursting to know and so I had to ask. "Where have you been all these years?"

"Orphanage in Atlanta, Georgia."

"The whole time?" I was surprised. Somehow I just couldn't see it, but I suppose it made perfect sense.

"Yep. You?"

"We've been here three and a half years now."

"Own it?"

"Yeah, bought it off an old lady. Her family had moved out and the stairs were too much for her. She wanted to move to a bungalow."

"Before that?"

"We spent a while looking for you." I explained. "Then we stayed with Mom for a while. We needed some room and more heat though and the kids wanted to come back to Florida. We crashed in someone's rental home for a while until we realised that with the neighbours constantly changing there was more of a chance someone would recognise us. I decided we needed somewhere permanent. This place was perfect. We have another place in Colorado for when we visit Mom and an apartment in New York for when we go there for Christmas."

"Wow. Christmas and everything. You guys sure have settled down."

"Yeah." I nodded. My hair flopped onto my face and I used my hand to brush it out of the way. Suddenly Fang's jaw tightened.

"I see you settled down too," he ground out. "Congratulations. Who is he?"

It took me a second to figure out what he was talking about. Then I realised, he had seen the wedding ring, the one on my left hand. Yeah. Oops. I would have laughed if I wasn't so incredibly mortified.

"Um, well, you see . . . he's well . . . he's you." Oh God this was embarrassing. I could see Fang was just getting more and more confused. This could take a while to explain. "See, when we moved here we knew we couldn't keep our names or even all of our ages. We also had to be able to prove we were related. Nudge hacked into the government database. She gave us all fake birth certificates, because legally I was still too young to be the legal guardian of anyone. So, even though I only turned 18 a few days ago, I'm down on paper as being 28. So are you. Also, Gazzy and Angel are my kids, well actually _our _kids; Iggy is my younger brother who has lived with us since our parents died. They have death and birth certificates too even though they don't exist. Nudge is your younger sister from your mother's second marriage. She stays with us since what we refer to as 'the Tragedy', because it stops people from asking awkward questions. We put you down as my husband in case you ever returned so you'd have a cover story. We've been telling people you work in New York, which is why we go there every Christmas. On paper, I'm Maxine Ride, mother of Gareth and Angelica Ride, wife of Nick Ride, sister of Derek Batchelder and sister-in-law of Tiffany-Krystal Ride. It was the easiest thing we could think of. On a more personal note it also stopped men trying to chat me up whenever we went out." I blushed. Now, there were lots of reactions you'd expect to that. You might think anger or embarrassment maybe amusement. But there was no way I could have expected what Fang said next.

"Blue eyes are recessive."

"What?!?"

"Blue eyes," he repeated. "They're a recessive gene. Both Angel and Gazzy have them, but neither of us does. If they were ours they couldn't have blue eyes. Also," he frowned. "If you were 28 and Gazzy's yours you would have been 16 when you had him. You can't be married legally until your 18."

"Well thank you Mister Biology for pointing out the flaws in our plan." I said sarcastically. "God knows I haven't thought of any of_ them_ before, but as I said, it was the easiest thing we could think of at the time. Making Gazzy and Angel my siblings was just too messy. I know that it makes people give me funny looks but I don't care. If anyone asks we were childhood sweethearts okay _darling_?" He at least had the decency to blush at that. He looked as if he was about to say something when I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in." I called and Nudge peeked in the door.

"Iggy says food's ready." She said.

"Ok, thanks sweetie we're coming now." I said.

She left and I turned to Fang.

"You owe them this," I hissed. "After what you did you owe them this, and I swear if you hurt them again I will hunt you down and make your life as miserable as I possibly can. Got it?"

He nodded curtly and I led him back to the kitchen. We all sat down at the table and I glanced across at Fang. He was thinking hard so I knew he'd understood.

This was his chance and he'd better not blow it.

**Will he or won't he? Find out next time. For now I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter. I'm sure everyone noticed Max's volatile emotions. Who could blame her? She's afraid to be happy he's back in case he leaves again, but she also can't stay angry at him because she's so happy he's back. Now I have some little cousins to hang out with so I hope you've all enjoyed this chapter. Until next time. Cat**


	19. What Was She Like Before?

**Ok sorry it took so long but once again I was all out of ideas. Also, I wanted to spend time with my cousins. My baby cousin turned 4 today! Well actually he turned 4 last week but we told him it was today because it was the only day we'd all be together. We're mean! I just read The Lake House. The book James Patterson wrote before Maximum Ride. Anybody who wants to talk about it is welcome to PM me. ****Special thanks to tessthedragonfreak for her super suggestion. Regrettably I don't think I will actually get a chance to use it but thank you so much for the input. Enjoy this chapter all.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any**** of its characters. But I do own my 3 OCs and my plot. So kindly don't copy. **

I was curious to see the kitchen I had to admit. It was the only room in the house I had yet to witness and I wasn't disappointed. It was a huge yellowy room that managed to look like both a professional kitchen and a home-style bakery at the same time. In the middle was a huge, round table. I kid you not. Imagine the round table from the legend of King Arthur, it looked exactly like that. Nudge had pulled over an extra seat for me so I sat down feeling almost like an intruder on this happy family moment. I remembered Max's last words to me back in her room. This was my last chance so I'd better not blow it.

Gazzy was helping Iggy to pass out the food and Angel was fetching Total from his room. Nudge sat down next to me and I smiled at her. Max sat across from me with this fake smile plastered onto her face. To me she just looked pained. I could totally understand. It was painful for both of us. She obviously didn't want me around. In fact, I was beginning to think she might be feeling an intense hatred towards me purely for having the nerve to exist. I, on the other hand, had never wanted anything more then to be around, to stay with the flock. Also, I was still obviously deeply in love with her. I could tell from how much it hurt to see her pretend to be happy.

Finally Iggy sat down in the chair next to me and Gazzy on the other side of Nudge. Angel quietly slipped in beside Max, depositing Total on the stool beside her. We all sat in silence for about a minute. I felt Nudge shift restlessly beside me and I saw Iggy's brow furrow in his confusion.

"Is there a reason we're all sitting in silence staring at our wonderfully hot but soon-to-be-cold meal? Because if so I'd like to be told exactly what it is now." He said. I watched Max trying not to scowl, she obviously didn't want to be the first to speak and the kids all looked too nervous, so I tapped the space beside Iggy's fork and placated him.

"No man, it looks great."

He grinned at me and picked up his fork.

"What are you all waiting for then? Dig in." he cheered

And by god they did. I had forgotten how fast we could dig into our food. I had had to restrain myself at the orphanage because people used to stare. I also hadn't gotten anywhere _near_ the amount of food I needed. I mean yeah they didn't starve us but they weren't aware of just how much energy I burned in one day. How could they have been? It was refreshing to tuck in to a meal knowing at the end I would be satisfyingly full. I just let myself go and attacked my food like everyone else. We were quiet while our mouths were stuffed with food but once we were full and Iggy had brought out seconds, thirds and then dessert (a three tier cake! I kid you not!), we sat back in our chairs and started to talk. The kids asked me where I'd been, what I'd done, what I'd thought of school. After a long grilling I sat back and started to ask them about their lives since I'd left. Iggy, or 'Derek' as his friends knew him, had a best friend and a girlfriend, Keith and Alice respectively. Neither of them knew about the wings yet, so he might have some serious explaining to do soon. He was doing a culinary course with Alice at the Florida Gulf Coast University. Nudge or 'Tiffany-Krystal' was top in her class and Mark was her first boyfriend. Gazzy or 'Gareth' had a huge gang of friends with whom he regularly played pranks and constructed bombs or rockets. It was obvious though, to me, that he was missing Iggy terribly and wanted his old partner in crime back by his side. Iggy however was completely oblivious to the unhappy look on the poor kids face whenever he described his 'adventures' with his friends. Angel was a bit less inclined to talk about her time in school. She deflected every question about friends that could be thrown at her. She just refused to talk about it. I could see on Max a worried frown that mirrored mine, although I was also picking up guilt etched onto her features which worried me even more. Max didn't take part in the discussion at all. Finally we finished up with a game of poker, which Angel won, of course. Gazzy, as second got a chocolate bar. Angel couldn't claim a prize seeing as she cheated by reading everyone's minds to see what cards they had. Gazzy and Nudge said they wanted Max's help with something and Angel went upstairs to practice the drums. I was left sitting with Iggy.

"Want to go out and sit on the porch?" he asked

"Sure." I shrugged and let him lead me out. Ironic, keeping in mind that he's blind.

We sat on the porch together. I was watching the sunset and Iggy was listening to the crickets.

"Could you . . . describe it to me?" he asked tentatively. I thought about it for a while. I could try.

"It's sort of a big lilac sky with a red orb hanging in the middle of it, that's slowly slipping down through the pink edged clouds. There are two birds flying in front of it now and their outlines are perfectly carved in black by the redness of the sun. There's this one tree to our right that's hanging just in front of my view so there's these tiny outlines of leves as well. It's beautiful Ig. I just wish you could see it."

"When you describe it for me like that, I almost can." He dipped his head. "Thanks Fang."

"You're welcome," I told him. "I just wish I could do more sometimes." I sighed.

We sat in silence for a moment while he thought.

"She still loves you," he said then.

I laughed bitterly. "No Ig, for once I think you might be wrong there."

He shrugged. "Maybe, but I'd be pretty surprised if I was. Not because I'm always right, just because . . . she's sort of being normal Max again. Ever since Angel said you were coming she's been becoming more and more like her old self. I know you wouldn't notice the change because you haven't seen how she was but . . . she seems to be getting some of her old fight back. Enough fight to pick one with you anyway."

"But Ig . . . Max never loved me," I explained. "That's why I had to leave in the first place, remember?"

"Have you ever thought maybe you were wrong?"

I thought about that for a few moments.

"Ig?"

"Yeah?"

"What was she like before I came back? You said I hadn't seen how she was? How was she?"

He paused and I could see he was arguing with himself. His loyalty to me and his loyalty to Max were conflicting.

"It's not my place to say." He said finally. "I'm sorry."

I suppose it was a good sign that his loyalty to Max had won over but it still stung.

"It's fine," I said. "The sun's almost completely gone. There's just a tiny tip left peeking over the horizon. The sky overhead is dark but over there it's still tinged with purple. The stars are starting to come out."

"I suppose those birds are long gone." He said

"Yeah," I thought about where they might have gone, what they might be doing now.

We sat in silence for a little while longer.

Then Gazzy called out, "Dudes you've got to come see this."

Then there was a huge boom.

And a scream.

Then silence.

**I wonder how many of you feel like throttling me right about now. You'll have to wait for my next chapter to find out what happened next. Till next time. I'm Ron Burgundy, stay classy San Diego. Cat**


	20. Max Is Back!

**Ok sorry this one took so long but I had some trouble writing AGAIN. I promise that the next two maybe three chapters will be pretty fast because I've already handwritten them. So today you all finally get to find out what happened at the end of the last chapter! Sorry for leaving you all hanging that was actually completely unplanned but I had a random spurt of genius so what can I say. So enjoy this chapter everyone. Thanks for all the reviews; we're back to Max now. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any**** of its characters. But I do own my 3 OCs and my plot. So kindly don't copy. **

Smoke was billowing all around the back garden. I couldn't see Gazzy or Nudge. I had just been watching them do a few last minute checks on their rocket. They had decided to bring the launch forward a week in honour of Fang's return. Gazzy had been yelling for everyone to come and see when I'd seen Nudge bend down to look at something on the side, before I knew what was happening the rocket had exploded and I heard Nudge scream, then there had been complete silence. That had been almost a minute ago and the smoke still hadn't cleared. Insert your choice of swearword here. Think really nasty, the worst swearword you know. It's still probably not half as bad as the one I inserted. I have a pretty filthy mouth on me when I'm panicked. I paced the edges of the smoke like a caged tiger. I couldn't run in to it in case I made things worse, so I would have to wait until it cleared before I could check if the kids were alright. Sadly, waiting requires this little thing called patience, and patience isn't a virtue I ever managed to acquire. I was about to rush in headlong and throw caution to the wind when Angel popped into my head. She started relaying facts to me at super speed.

"Gazzy is awake, he was scared but he's ok now. No broken bones or sprains or anything I think he's just in a bit of shock. Ig and Fang are waiting around the corner of the porch. Ig has said they should stay back in case it's an eraser attack so that they can have the element of surprise, but they're both afraid for all of us. I'm fine and so are you and, Max?" her voice was strained now as if she was trying not to cry. "I'm not picking up anything from Nudge."

I felt the bottom dropping out of my world. What if-? NO. I stopped that train of thought dead in its tracks, high jacked its contents, burnt them, and then sent it careening back the way it had come while I stamped on the ashes. I wasn't even going to consider that as a possibility. Nudge would be fine; at most she would be injured, possibly unconscious, but not-. You remember that swear word from earlier? That swear word had absolutely nothing on the one I was now screaming in my head. I had to pull it together for Angel so I started to give her instructions.

'Thanks Angel, tell the boys to stay put but not to worry and under no circumstances are they to try to walk into the smoke. You stay where you are as well, I'll take care of the Gasman and Nudge. Try and keep me updated on both of them. Let me know if Nudge wakes up. You probably can't hear her because she's out. She might just have been knocked unconscious by a small piece of debris.'

"Ok." She said. But she still sounded uncertain. We all sat for a few more minutes in silence. The smoke still hadn't lifted, which was really worrying me. What kind of smoke stayed in place for over 5 minutes? Was that normal? I was trying not to scream because I knew it would freak everybody out but Nudge was in there, unconscious, possibly severely injured and I couldn't help her! I just had to stand here, waiting.

"Gazzy is coming out," Angel told me quietly. "I'm still not picking up anything from Nudge." Her voice was practically a whisper in my head and I could hear her fear.

I was breathing heavily as I watched Gazzy wander out of the smoke. His hands were held out in front of him like a blind man as he tried to make his way through the thick miasma surrounding him. His blonde hair was sticking straight up off the top of his head and one or two of the highest strands were smoking. His shirt was ripped all the way up the right side, his jeans torn and singed and his blue eyes wide open. I rushed over to him and pulled him into an almighty hug. His hands wrapped around me grabbing the back of my shirt.

"So Cool." He coughed into my ear.

I closed my eyes thinking how awful it would have been had I lost him, he was just such a great kid. He had just come out of a major depression over Ig not being around all the time and he'd had a hard time at school before he'd made his new friends, but he'd always had a smile for me, even when I totally didn't deserve it. I opened my eyes and I could still see the smoke cloud covering our garden. Although was it just my eyes or was it starting to clear. Nudge was still in there. I couldn't lose Nudge. Not now.

"Uh Max?" Gazzy said.

"Yeah sweetie?" I replied.

"You're hugging me too tight." He breathed.

"Oh, sorry." I pulled back and took a good look at his face. Something was wrong. I analyzed his face searching for the problem when I almost burst out laughing. Both of his eyebrows had been completely blown off. There was just nothing there. If I hadn't been so worried I would probably have teased him about it, but as things stood I was still in panic mode.

"Are you ok?" I asked him. I had to be sure he had no internal injuries so that I could focus on Nudge. "Your wings ok?"

"Yeah." He said brushing off my worry easily. "That was amazing." He started to look around now and he stared at the cloud in awe.

"Whoa, was that us?" he whispered.

"Yeah."

I watched him mouth the word 'cool' really slowly. Then he seemed to switch back into reality. "Where's Nudge?" he said turning to me.

I bit my lip wondering what to say, when suddenly Angel burst back into my head.

"GOT HER!" she screamed.

'She's awake?'

"Yeah, she says she's fine she just got hit on the head by part of the tail when it launched."

"It launched?" I was so surprised I even said it out loud.

"It DID?!?" Gazzy yelled. "I knew it. I knew it would work. How far did I go?" He looked at me expectantly.

"Uh . . . I have no idea Gazzy. I didn't even see it launch."

"Nudge says it launched all right." Angel informed me. As the smoke cleared I saw she was right. The rocket was sitting in a tree 2 metres to the left of Nudge, who was sitting on the floor muttering about coordinates, gas and safety measures.

"Danged right you'll be improving safety measures!" I yelled across at her. "In fact if I get my way you won't even have to worry about them, because you won't be launching anymore of those things again!" Nudge stood up smiling at me and she and Gazzy looked at each other. They turned to me grinning and simultaneously yelled.

"Max is back!"

Then they hugged me around the waist, one on either side. I stared for a couple of seconds but then I just let the hug take its course. Fang and Iggy walked out from the side of the house. Ig was confused and I could see Fang was rapidly trying to explain and describe the scene at once. From the sudden stops I could only assume Angel was filling them in on what they'd missed.

By the time our hug was finished Angel was trotting out the back door with Total in her arms and Fang and Iggy were strolling over, both obviously trying not to laugh at the Gasman's missing brows. It was then that I realised just how dark it was. I tapped Nudge, Gazzy and Angel on the head. "Bedtime." I said and they started to grumble and complain. Gazzy looked at Fang and then at me and then beckoned for me to lean down so he could whisper in my ear.

"But Max, we want to spend more time with Fang now, in case-" then he stopped. I knew he couldn't say in case he leaves. I knew why as well. Saying it makes it more real. If you don't say it, then it can't happen. I looked at him and then I turned to Fang.

"You'll be here tomorrow Fang won't you? When the kids come home from school." I tried to make it sound as if it was a done deal, as if that was what we'd been talking about in my room. That ought to make it harder for him to worm out of, and if he did, then he was the bad guy, not me. He looked at the kids. He looked afraid, as if the weight of the responsibility was too much. Try looking after them for four years on your own, and then feel the weight of _that _responsibility. It had been too much for me as well and we could all see the results of that. I glanced at Angel; she looked resigned, as if she had known he wouldn't stay, that he would leave them again. I looked back at Fang then and he was looking at me. I begged him, pleaded with my eyes. He blinked and then nodded.

"Of course." He said and we all let out our collective breathes. I turned to the youngsters again. "Ok? You heard the man. So, bedtime." I held out my fist and glanced at Fang, as second oldest he was next for the stack, I saw him arguing with himself and then finally he stacked hi fist on top fo mine. The others folowed suit and I tapped the backs of all their fists finishing with Fang's. Touching him was almost like a small electric shock or a miniature heart attack and it took me a few seconds to recover. I stared at Fang and he stared straight back at me. Then I straightened up and nodded and with that I whisked the youngsters inside and to their bedrooms. Fang followed me with Iggy by his side. I rolled my eyes, what, I couldn't put them to bed by _myself_? Iggy came up right beside me outside Angel's bedroom. "I'm going to work on some plans in the shed," he said loudly. Then he leaned in a little closer to me and said quietly. "Are you ok on your own with him or do you want me to stick around?"

"No, no it's fine Ig. I promise not to kill him." He smiled and patted me on the back.

"That's my girl," he smirked. "Not decapitating him is always a good start." Then he headed back outside.

"I'm sticking my tongue out at you blind boy!" I yelled after him and I heard his laughter well up from the garden.

Fang raised an eyebrow at me and I ignored him. I thought I might have seen hurt flash in his eyes before I turned away but I must have been wrong because seconds later he was walking past me towards Nudge's room. I heard him knock on her door and head in when she called back. I threw all thoughts of him out of my mind and entered Gazzy's room.

"You sure you're ok after tonight?" I asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Is Fang really going to come back tomorrow?" he asked. He looked as if he was terrified that I might actually say no. So I stroked the top of his head softly trying not to emphasize his lack of eyebrows.

"Yes." I assured him. "Because he knows if he doesn't come back now, I'll hunt him down and kill him."

"Really?" he asked, his eyes as wide as saucers. "You'd do that for us?"

"Of course I would." I assured him, startled that the question could even be allowed to form in his mind.

He smiled. "Max is most definitely back." He yawned. Then he rolled over and fell asleep.

I frowned and walked to the door. I stopped outside Nudge's door to see if she was still awake but her peaceful breathing told me otherwise so I headed down to Angel's door. I was about to step inside when I heard her talking to Fang. I stopped trying hard not to stoop to eavesdropping but I couldn't help it.

"So Angel honey, why don't you want to talk about school?"

"I like school."

I heard Fang pause, if there was one thing Fang hated, it was when people lied to him.

"No you don't Angel, why don't you just tell me what's wrong and maybe me and Max can fix it."

"You can't tell Max." she said suddenly sounding worried. I frowned. What could Angel tell Fang that she couldn't tell me? I felt something twist in my gut.

"Ok, I won't tell Max if you'll tell me what's wrong." He whispered.

That little . . . argh, when I got my hands on him he was so dead.

"O-ok, I don't h-have any friends at school." She whispered. "Th-they all think I'm too w-weird and depressing. Th-they won't even t-talk to me. I'm so l-lonely in school, so I tr-try to find Gazzy or N-nudge in my mind, j-just so I know they're th-there." I could hear her sobs now and I heard him wrap his arms around her and try to calm her down. "Th-then the t-teacher yells at me, b-because I'm not p-paying attention and- and- and- I'm just so alone!" I heard her breakdown into big gulping tears and I felt my gut twist again. How had I not noticed this? How had I not seen how lonely my baby was? But I already knew why. I had been too focused on my own loneliness to notice hers.

"Shhh." I heard Fang comfort her as she sobbed into his chest. He was good at that kind of thing, comforting people. It was just another reason why I loved him so much and why he'd be so much better at looking after the kids then I had been. He would do a good job when I was gone.

"Angel," he said after a while. "You only have to be yourself. You're a wonderful girl, a wonderful special little girl. You're going to be a beautiful young woman and you're intelligent, you're well beyond the mental capabilities of anyone else your age. You have a family that loves you, and you should never forget it. We have always loved you, we will always love you. You are perfect just the way you are, wings and all. I can't count how many times you've saved our butts with your abilities. If those other kids can't see just how great you are well then screw them. They obviously don't know the Angel I know, but sweetie, they won't ever know her unless you let them in. I'm not saying you should tell them about your wings because that would be bad, and I don't think you should tell them you can read minds either, but other than that you just have to be yourself. Yes you're special, we're all special, but we're not weird, we're just different, special in a good way. Ok? So don't let those other kids get you down, because quite frankly, who gives a rat's a!! what they think. You have Max and Gazzy and Iggy and Nudge and Total and me, and we all love you for who you are and if that's not good enough then I don't know what is."

Angel had stopped crying.

"Fang?" she whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I think that's the longest I've ever heard you talk before." She said giggling and he laughed.

"Come on then, time for bed." And I listened to the sound of Angel being put to bed then I walked away. I knew now that Fang was definitely the man for the job, no questions asked. He would take over running the flock after me. I walked to the front door and checked the locks. I was still paranoid after all this time. I thought I caught sight of something out the front window and I tensed up. But after a few minutes I decided it was probably just a bird. I checked the door and then on a whim, double checked it. Better to be safe then sorry. Trust me. I should know. I had been sorry way too many times.

A small figure slipped through the shadows around the side of the house, her head popping up at every window. She had watched Max listening through the doors and checking the locks. She had heard Fang's conversation with Angel and Max's with Gazzy. She had watched the explosion and the fear in Max's eyes at the thought that Nudge might not survive it. She had watched Fang and Max argue in her room and she now knew almost everything she needed to know. It helped that she had also heard what had not been said. This problem was going to fix itself and if it didn't she would have to work on it tomorrow. The rest of tonight would have to be dedicated to the bigger problem. The girl slid down from the living room windowsill and the scene that was now unfolding. It was time to visit Death Valley once again. She closed her eyes slipping into the shadows and she was gone, leaving one last thought behind her to catch in the wind. Good Luck Maximum Ride.

**Soooo? Is kill the writer season over? Because I would very much like to come out from underneath my chair now. ****Sorry again that this post was so long. It should have been up earlier today but my older cousin came over and practically high jacked the computer right from under my nose. So yeah, you can blame him. Thanks for all keeping your cool it is much appreciated. Cat **


	21. No Drinks On The Couch!

**Ok, we're back to Fang everyone, here's some Fax for you all. I realised today that my last chapter was my longest one yet, so ****Yay for me. On with the chapter. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any**** of its characters. But I do own my 3 OCs and my plot. So kindly don't copy. **

I helped Angel into bed and tucked her in. She smiled at me and I handed her Celeste. My mind wandered back to Max, what had she done to make Angel so afraid of telling her she was unhappy?

"Max is- was very sad, when you left." Angel said quietly breaking into my thoughts. "She wasn't herself. You hurt her more then you could ever know when you left. She realised a few things then that she wishes she'd never had to know. Things about herself she hadn't noticed when you were around. She missed you, much more then she's letting on. For the first year after you left, she was very quiet and Nudge decided where we went most of the time. Once we moved into the house, she spent most of her time in her room. She did a lot of crying, she was lonely. She wouldn't spend too much time with us in case she drove us away like she'd done to you."

"But-"

"Fang I know you left because you felt we'd be better without you, but Max won't believe that. Max thinks you left because of her and in a way, you did. When I said she cried a lot, she didn't ever cry in front of us, only in her room when we couldn't see. We knew though, we always knew. She would play the radio really loud, to cover the sound. She likes the really loud stuff the best, so she tends to stick to the rock channels. She takes a lot of midnight flights as well, to the middle of nowhere. She thought someday that she might run into you because you always liked flying at night. She always used to answer the door and the phone as fast as she could. She always hoped it would be you. After about two years she stopped, it was taking too much out of her, so she resigned herself to the fact that you were never coming back. She never answers the door now. She's tired, always tired. She doesn't sleep much, if at all. She writes a lot although I don't know what about. She bought herself an extreme punching bag, one that punches back. She spends most of her time in either the sparring room or the music room. Trying to 'improve' herself. You must have seen her room." I nodded. "She painted it black because it reminded her of you."

I was staring at her in shock. I had never even considered that Max might have missed me. I had always just assumed that she'd forget all about me after a while. I sat for a few minutes trying to take it all in. Then I had to ask.

"Angel? Why are you telling me all this now?"

She looked away for a second as if unsure. She bit her lip then turned back to me.

"I'm telling you this so that you'll be careful with her. Her hopes are high and if you crush them now, she won't get up again. She might even revert back to-" I saw pain flash in her blue eyes and then she shook her head violently. "She needs you, you need her and we need both of you, so don't screw it up."

I looked at Angel. "That's deep for a ten year old. Would you be surprised if I told you someone had already told me not to screw it up today? She said I owed you."

I saw slight tears pricking the corners of Angel's eyes.

"She did?"

I nodded.

"I can read her mind but sometimes I still can't tell how she feels about us. Thank you. It's nice to know she still cares."

"Of course she still cares. She always cares. Sometimes she's just not so good at showing it."

She smiled and I hugged her.

"By the way I hope nobody's expecting hugs and smiles tomorrow. That was a one day special only." I gave her a big smile and she giggled.

"That's ok." She laughed. "We all just want Fang back." I gave her one last swift hug and she rolled over.

"Night little sister."

"Night big brother."

I manoeuvred around her stuffed toy collection, switched off her light and closed the door quietly behind me. I leaned against the wall opposite and took some deep breaths. It had been difficult to take in everything Angel had said. Max had let Nudge take charge? She had cried? I was the reason her room looked like the outer reaches of space? I was the reason for the bags under her eyes? I dragged my hand over my face and pushed off the wall. It was time me and Max had a real talk.

I turned the corner and saw her checking and rechecking the locks on the front door. I shook my head.

"Still as paranoid as ever I see." I said.

"Better safe then sorry." She mumbled then turned to face me. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For helping me put them to bed, for saying you'd stay, for not running away when I yelled at you," She shrugged. "Just for being you."

"You're Welcome." I said. "But then I also have to say thank you."

"For what?"

"For not kicking me out the door the minute I got here." I said simply.

"You're Welcome." She said. "I'm glad I didn't. Do you want a coffee?"

"Yeah I'd love one." I nodded.

"Ok I'll just be a second. You can look around the living room if you like." She motioned to the door to her left and then she headed into the kitchen. I watched her go willing myself not to follow her and turned into the living room. I could use a hot drink and then I supposed I should really go back to my dingy one bedroom apartment with its peeling wallpaper and broken kettle. I wandered around the living room looking at the pictures of the flock. One was a small photo of Angel and Gazzy in their school uniform, another of Nudge eating the biggest pizza I had ever seen, one of Iggy with his arms around a smiling, red headed girl I could only assume was Alice and one of him a few years ago sitting grinning at the camera next to another blonde boy whom I could only assume was Keith. There were no pictures of Max. I scanned the walls for any sign of her and my eyes caught on a small picture hanging above the fireplace. It was slightly crinkled and I could see a fold line down the middle, as if it had spent a short time in someone's back pocket, but the faces were still instantly recognisable to me. It was a photograph Jeb had taken a few weeks before he'd 'died'. It was of all six of us sitting on a fence in the mountains of Colorado eating ice-cream. 4 year old Angel was sitting beside a 12 year old Max clinging to her arm, while a 6 year old Gazzy sat on 12 year old Iggy's shoulders pointing at something behind the camera, his face contorted in an evil grin. Iggy was happily licking his ice-cream blissfully unaware of whatever the Gasman found so amusing, but 8 year old Nudge's eyes and mouth were wide open in shock as she stared at Gazzy's source of amusement. A 12 year old me, was sitting next to Max with my ice-cream dripping on to my shirt. I was smiling at the camera. I carefully took the picture off the wall and looked closer at it. My lips were twisted up in a smile as I stared at this tiny memory.

_Flashback_

_Jeb had just bought us all ice-cream and a new camera__ for himself and he had suggested we take a family photo. So we'd headed over to a nearby fence while Jeb had stepped back to take the shot. Angel was having trouble getting up so I had given her a hand and helped her to scramble up next to Max, where she had clung on for dear life. I had gone to climb up on Angel's other side but Max had tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to the space on her other side. She had wanted me to sit next to her! So I jumped up beside her, smiling like a fool. That was when the camera went off and the moment was captured forever. Seconds later Jeb had been attacked from behind by a very large goat, which had proceeded to eat his favourite jumper. We had all laughed so hard that Iggy and Gazzy had fallen off the fence. _

_End Flashback_

When Max came back in I was still smiling at the picture in my hand.

"Seems like yesterday huh?" She asked.

"Yeah, where did you find it?"

"Remember I said we went back to Mom's? Jeb gave me the old camera but most of the pictures were damaged after sitting in it for so long. Nudge managed to remind the picture what it had once been and it faded back to the way it is now. I had to fold it to carry it around until we found a new house but once we got here I had it framed."

"Oh. It's cute, we look . . . happy."

"Yeah," she replied smiling as she watched me return the framed memory to its rightful place. "That's why I like it."

"Yeah." I said. "Me too."

"Oh," she said coming back to the present. "Here's your coffee." She handed the mug to me, our fingers lightly brushed and I felt a shock go up my arm. I turned towards the couch so she couldn't see my reaction.

"Thanks." I said heading over to sit down, but I jumped about two feet in the air when she yelled. "NO DRINKS ON THE COUCH!"

I turned around and gave her a look, effortlessly raising one of my eyebrows.

"Sorry," she muttered. "Old habits die hard." And we stared at each other for a few seconds suspended by the strangeness of the situation. Suddenly I couldn't help it, I laughed. I honestly laughed, harder then I had in the 4 years I had been away. Then she started to laugh too and we were laughing together again and suddenly I missed her even more. Even though she was standing right there laughing with me I missed her, because I knew that I would have to go back to my apartment tonight alone instead of being part of this family of mine, part of her flock, our flock.

"I've missed you." I told her once we'd calmed down a little.

"I've missed you too," she said smiling sadly and then we sat down facing each other on the couch our knees tucked up to our chests. I leaned back against the armrest trying my best not to spill my coffee. Then we talked, for a long time, about the flock, about the orphanage, about Florida, about planes.

"It's nice to finally have someone to talk to again." She said out of the blue. I looked up at her surprised. "But you've had lots of people to talk to Iggy, Gazzy, Angel, Total, Nudge, especially Nudge."

"Yeah," she said frowning "But they're not you. You were my best friend. I could tell you if I didn't know where we were going or what we should do next. You could make me laugh; Iggy can only make me smile. You asked me how I felt; Gazzy only wants to know what I think. You knew how to calm me down; Angel only knows I'm upset. And you're a good listener; Nudge is only really a good talker. It's not their fault, but none of them are you."

"Oh, I'm sorry Max, I didn't know"

"Neither did I, until you were gone."

I stayed silent. Was she going somewhere with this? She looked so tense. Then she asked the question I had known I would eventually have to answer.

"Fang," she said looking at my face, "We've been dancing around this all day, but I have to know. Why did you leave?"

I sighed and tried to decide what to say now. I wasn't even sure myself anymore. I glanced at Max, she was so tense and her eyes were telling me that my answer mattered more to her than anything else at that moment. Maybe it did. Maybe Angel was right. Maybe I had hurt Max. But how could I fix it? Could it even be fixed? Finally I knew it was time to tell her the truth.

"I was afraid" I said simply.

"Of what?"

"Hurting you." I said.

"You hurt me by leaving."

"I didn't think it would." I said looking away from the pain in her eyes.

"What kind of idiot are you Fang? How could you possibly have thought that wouldn't hurt me?" she sounded angry now. She had stood up from the couch and she was beginning to yell. "What in the world was going through your head?!?"

"What was going through my head was that I loved you." I shouted, jumping off the couch to stand in front of her "But all we ever did was argue and then you were gone and it was my fault."

She was staring at me as if I'd gone mad. "Your fault?" she screamed. "Why you self centred, egotistic- argh! It had nothing to do with you!"

"We had just had a huge fight Max. We hadn't even fist-stacked we were that angry. What else was I to assume?"

"I went out looking for Iggy Fang; it had absolutely nothing to do with you!"

"So why didn't you wake me up before you left?" I yelled at her and she froze. Her face collapsed and I saw her finally put it together. She turned to look out the window and folded her arms around her body. She looked so fragile, so unMax. When she turned back to me I saw tears threatening. "Because of the fight." She mumbled. "I didn't wake you up because of the fight."

"Exactly." I said softly. "You got hurt, because you wouldn't wake me up because we had had a fight." She looked out the window again. All the fight had been sapped out of her body and I wished she hadn't asked. I wished with all my heart that she hadn't asked and I hadn't had to hurt her with the truth. I could see she had never even considered those consequences of the fight. I saw a tear escape from the corner of her eye and roll slowly down her cheek. That was it, something in my gut twisted and I walked over and wrapped my arms around her. She leaned into me and we both just stood there, staring out the window into the darkness taking comfort in each other. Her hair was tickling my face and I could still smell the smoke from the explosion on her clothes.

"I'm sorry." she whispered.

I suddenly remembered something Angel had said to me earlier today.

"_We all make mistakes Fang," she told me. "Some of them are just more obvious than others.__"_

I hugged Max tighter and said, "Don't be, we all make mistakes."

She turned to look at me and I stepped back to let her out of my arms. It was difficult. I could see her mentally rewinding our conversation. Suddenly her face changed, she stared at me wide eyed.

"You . . ." she whispered. "You said you loved me."

I paused, now I had a decision to make. I could say no and live the rest of my life wondering what would have happened if I'd said yes, or I could say yes and possibly destroy any future relationship with my best friend. I took a deep breath and went for the plunge.

"Yes."

She stared at me as if she could barely believe what she was hearing. "You really did," she breathed. "Angel said, but I never . . . I'd given up hope that I would ever hear it from you." She looked so happy, yet so desperately sad and she was still tense.

"I-" she started. "I loved you too." She practically whispered it. That was when my stomach decided to do its own victory dance complete with back flips and butterflies. I was almost too afraid to ask my next question but I knew this was my chance.

"And now?"

"Yes." She said nodding. "Always."

My heart almost stopped, and then it started beating impossibly fast. My face broke out in a smile and hers mirrored mine. So for a few minutes we just stood there grinning at each other like loons. I was mentally doing back flips, walking on sunshine, running up walls and dancing on the ceiling, but of course if I really did any of those things I wouldn't be able to see that smile on her face and that was fast becoming my reason for even bothering to breathe. Suddenly her face lit up even more. She grabbed my hand and said "Let's go flying."

I frowned and turned away from her. I hadn't been flying for over 4 years. She let go of my hand and stepped back.

"Oh, it's ok, you don't-"

"No I do." I stopped her. "I just . . . I haven't flown since I left. I don't even know if I still can." I turned away so she couldn't see how much it hurt to admit my weakness.

"But Fang." She said. "Why?" she was so distraught by the idea I might not have wanted to fly.

"I didn't want to fly alone." I explained. She smiled at me.

"Well, now you don't have to." She said taking my hand. "We're going to fly together. I'll teach you anything you can't remember, but you can't really forget how to fly, its instinct."

She felt me hesitate and turned her eyes to mine, pleading, begging me to do this with her. "Do you trust me?" she asked. I couldn't resist those eyes so I nodded and squeezed her hand. She smiled at me. We were heading for the back door when she suddenly stopped.

"Iggy." She said and pulled me back to the living room. She picked up the phone and dialled what I assumed was the number for the shed.

"Hey Ig. Me and Fang are going for a flight. We won't be too long. Will you mind the house and the kids? They're all in bed so you just need to watch for trouble." I couldn't hear what Iggy said but then Max looked into my eyes. "Absolutely." She said to Iggy and hung up.

"Ready?" she asked and I nodded. "Then let's go." She said and she dragged me out the door.

**Soooo? This was a super long chapter. So be super thankful. The fax is not over yet. In fact it has only just begun. The next two chapters are really Fax and then we'll see how it goes from there. Hope you enjoyed! Cat**


	22. Finally Waking Up

**Ok, WOW! 204 reviews everyone! That's really****, really good. Thanks everyone for showing you care, and for all the advice and helpful comments. I couldn't do it without you. So this chapter is going up earlier then I thought it would because I just felt the need to write. So here's some more Fax for you from Max's POV. Enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any of its characters. But**** I do own my 3 OCs and my plot. So kindly don't copy. **

I pulled Fang out of the back door and into the garden. I did a 360 checking for witnesses (yes I'm super paranoid but wouldn't you be?) then unfurled my wings. I heard Fang gasp and I winced. I had forgotten about my scar. I blocked the memory quickly and turned to face him.

"How?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I slipped." I was lying but I hoped he wouldn't notice. I didn't want to explain my scars right now. Not now, when I was finally so happy. He frowned for a few seconds, studying my wings, and I was sure he was going to say something, to ask for the real story, but then he shrugged.

"Ouch." He said.

"Yeah," I grimaced. "I was just lucky Angel was there." Yeah so she could catch me before- STOP, STOP, don't think about it. I closed my eyes blocking out all the painful memories. I knew Fang was watching me, so I pulled myself together, opened my eyes and smiled at him.

"Shall we?" I said shaking my wings out. He nodded and slowly began to unfurl his wings. I could see his muscles were really stiff so I stepped behind him and rubbed his shoulders.

"Give it a second," I said. "Try not to do it all it once." I rubbed the muscles on the tops of his wings and together we slowly managed to stretch them out to full length. I had never touched Fang's wings before and I only realised now how different they felt from my own. The feathers were sleeker and closer together, they were wings designed to perform aeronautical feats that my wings could only manage when I was pumped full of adrenaline. Now I knew why Fang flew so beautifully, he had been designed to fly with speed and grace and without unnecessary movement. I stepped back staring at his jet black wings and suppressed a sigh. They were just so beautiful. I came around to face him and I saw him testing his wings. There was a slight smile creeping over his face that made my insides feel like goo.

"Well aren't we just Mr.Smiley today?" I teased him.

"He looked me straight in the eyes with that smile playing on his lips.

"I blame you." He teased back and I turned away so that he wouldn't see me blush.

"Ready?" I asked. "We can take it slow at first and then see how we do, but if you're as good as I think you should be then I'd like to show you something cool."

I still had my back to him so he must have nodded, because he whipped past me in a running take off. I set off after him and within seconds we were airborne and he was smiling at me. Now, when I say smiling, I mean full on smiling ladies and gentlemen, not Fang smiling, with the half-hearted tilts of the mouth or the hidden smirks, I could see his teeth! They're pearly white for any of you who were wondering. I think it was the first time I had ever actually seen them. Ever. It was the first time I had ever seen him smile that way and I have to say, it was a heart stopping experience. What a smile. My heart was going in my chest much faster than usual. Our hearts beat impossibly fast for humans when we're resting! The adrenaline rush I was getting at the moment would have killed a normal person. Then again so would jumping out of a high story window as I have been known to do on an almost regular basis, so yeah.

We'd been flying quietly for about ten minutes just enjoying the sensation when I decided it was time to test Fang's muscles. I pulled a spin and sent him a look that said 'now-it's-your-turn'. He copied my move and I held my breath. If he didn't make it I didn't know if I would have enough strength to catch him. He completed it with an extra, flourishing, wing twist on the end and sent me a look that quite clearly said 'up-yours'.

I grinned at him, stuck out my tongue and pulled a sharp turn followed by a dive. I could hear him following me so I poured on the speed and took another sharp turn brushing my feet off a tree. I slowed down and turned to laugh in his face, but I couldn't see him anywhere. I turned frantically searching for him. I was flapping my wings hard and fast to keep hovering and I was starting to feel a slight ache in my left shoulder near to my scar. I still couldn't see Fang anywhere and I was starting to panic.

"Looking for someone?" I heard form just behind me. I could practically hear the smirk in his voice. I turned around to smack him for scaring me, but there was no one there.

"Nope not that way." He smirked from behind me. I span around, but once again there was no one there.

"Not that way either." I heard from behind me. Not again. Not again. This had happened once before. I had had a dream were Fang had come back but then he was gone and I was left with only his voice taunting me. I started to sink in the air. I put my hands to my ears to stop his voice. I couldn't take it anymore. He was gone. I was alone, again. Not now, not now please, just give me a little longer. No he's gone. Wake up Max. Just wake up. I had stopped flapping my wings altogether and now I was dropping faster, slipping through the air, soon I would wake up and it would all be over. My expiration date would go away, life would be normal, Fang would be gone. Gone. He couldn't leave again! Wake Up Max!

"Max!" I heard someone scream and then the dropping sensation stopped. It was over. He was gone. I had finally woken up.

**Ok, so I know this one is really short but all will be explained soon! I have lots of plans, but they all needed me to end this chapter here. ****So I hope you enjoyed and it could be a while before I get to update again, so I apologise in advance. Cat.**


	23. Can't We Just Forget This Happened?

**Here we go I've been able to update sooner then previously hoped, so here is Fang's side of the story. For all of those people who reviewed asking if it was really all a dream? Here is your answer. If it was all a dream, how would she have Fang's POV? Ah-ha! The plot thickens. No****. For any of you who were confused, good! That was how I intended you to feel. I wanted that chapter to confuse you all! That was part of my plot, so now I will go back to the fax and I shall leave you with the happy information that I bought Twilight today. It's amazing. I've almost finished it already and I only got home 2 hours ago. So thank you for everyone on the site who recommended it to me. Edward IS very Fang. Also super congratulations to some-random-ppl who managed to work out what was **_**really**_** happening in the last chapter, so virtual cookie for you. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any of its characters. But**** I do own my 3 OCs and my plot. So kindly don't copy. **

Max took a sharp turn and dove through the air. I followed using all my strength and agility to keep up with her. Then she turned on the speed and I smiled. So that was how she wanted to play was it? I had decided to keep things fair and not use my abilities, but now . . . I shrugged and a grin crept over my face, in my defence, she'd started it. I focused all my thought on the air around me, on Max flying at high speed in front of me, then on the houses and trees below us. Silence. I smiled. I sank slightly in the air and I swore. I realised that without time, there would be no updrafts or air currents which was going to make flying considerably more difficult for me. I sighed and changed my plans slightly. I allowed time to move slowly and slipped into my own personal stealth mode. I allowed Max to stay ahead of me until I saw her turn around. I smiled on the inside. Payback time, I thought, pulling up behind her.

"Looking for someone? I asked quietly. I couldn't keep the smirk off my face. She turned around too look for me, but I was already behind her. She was looking around angrily.

"Nope, not that way." I said quietly trying not to laugh. She span around again and I slipped behind her. Time was still going incredibly slowly for me so I was able to slip out of invisibility and still stay behind her with no trouble.

"Not that way either." I said in my serious voice. I saw Max crumple slightly and I frowned. Maybe I had gone too far, I thought and I reached out to tap her shoulder. Suddenly time jump started and Max was slipping down in the air, then she stopped flapping her wings altogether and slipping became plummeting. She was muttering and I could see her hands clamped tightly over her ears.

"Wake up Max!" she screamed. I snapped into action. "Max!" I yelled hoping to start her flapping again but she kept dropping. I stopped flapping and pulled into a dive, hurtling towards her. I came level with her and snapped my wings back out, almost crying out the pain was so intense, but Max was still falling and the ground was now dangerously close. I swooped down and wrapped my arms around her waist. My wings felt as if they were being ripped out of my back, but I hung on to her with all my strength. The ground was still getting closer but at least it was getting closer a little slower then when my wings were in. I tried to focus on the air around me to slow us down more but I couldn't focus on anything except Max. She had gone completely limp in my arms. I forced myself to concentrate on slowing time but I couldn't focus properly. I glanced around frantically, looking for . . . who knows what . . . anything really, anything that would help to stop our inevitable crash to the ground. I tried to flap harder but my back was burning now and my wings were on fire. I saw a beach coming closer below us and I had to face facts, nothing was going to stop us from hitting that sand, hard. I placed myself between Max and the ground and tucked us both into a ball using my wings to shield her and slow us down at the same time. I closed my eyes and hoped we'd both be alright. My last thought before we hit the sand was, me not her, me not her, let it kill me not her. Then I felt my back slam into the ground and I cried out in pain. I felt Max stir and hoped she was ok. Then the world faded out.

**20 minutes later**

I woke up to find Max leaning over me, her eyes closed, trying to wake me up.

"You have to wake up Fang, you have to, you can't die now." She choked out. "Not now, after everything. I've already lost you so many times. I can't lose you now." There were tears running down her face and dropping onto my cheeks.

"Shhh" I said. "Shhh, it's ok, it's ok." Her eyes shot open.

"Fang!" she cried out.

"Yes," I said. "Max, I'm fine, honestly." She was shaking her head, tears flying in all directions.

"You've been out for so long and I was so afraid." She whispered. She placed her head down on my chest and started to cry into my t-shirt.

"Shhh," I whispered stroking her hair. "Calm down. I'm fine. You're not allowed to worry about me."

"I- can't- stop- worrying-." She sobbed. "I- need- you- to- be- ok-."

I felt my heart leap with joy and my brain scream warnings at her words, joy that she felt so strongly for me, but fear at how much danger she could put herself in trying to protect me from life.

"Don't- ever- scare me- like- that- again-." She continued. I started to sit up at that and she looked up at me.

"_Me_ scare _you?"_ I asked incredulously. "What about _you_ Max? You dropped straight out of the sky! You blacked out in mid air!"

"I just . . ." she looked terrified. "I- you weren't there, but I could hear your voice all around me, but you weren't-." She stopped and I saw tears threatening so I wrapped my arms around her.

"Oh God Max. I'm so sorry. I was only teasing. I didn't think. I'm so sorry."

"It wasn't funny." She whispered.

"I'm so sorry Max. It never even occurred to me it might scare you" She was crying quietly into my shirt again and I pulled back to look at her. "You really were afraid weren't you?"

She nodded and I started to wipe the tears from her face with my thumb. She tried to smile at me, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Fang?" she said.

"Yes?" I stopped brushing the tears from her face and looked at her.

"Can we just . . . forget this happened?" She begged. "Just for now" she added quickly when I frowned. "It's just that everything was so perfect before and . . . I want to remember tonight for how perfect it was, not for the fact that I almost killed you." I nodded and she smiled again, but this time I saw the happiness sparkle in her hazel eyes and it made my heart take another leap.

"Just for now though." I added. "We'll have to talk about this in the morning."

She nodded sadly and then took my hands to help me up. I looked around seeing we were on a small sandy beach surrounded by high dunes. I winced realising my wings were still out wide and I pulled them in quickly. Fire shot up my back but I gritted my teeth and ignored it. I saw Max watching me, a worried expression on her face.

"I'm fine." I managed. She shook her head sadly and said, "I tried to tell myself the same thing."

I was still puzzling out that mysterious phrase when I noticed her wings were still wide open. "Dover." I said in our secret language from the days in the school. I was warning her that her wings were out. She glanced at them and smiled.

"We can keep them out," she explained. "No one else can get here. This is my place. It's where I come to think. You can't get here unless you can fly, the dunes are uneven, with dangerous trails and the thicket is completely overgrown on all three sides. The currents are also too strong to swim in. So it's all mine. Well ours now I suppose." She smiled hopefully. I smiled back and took a step closer, so that we were now only inches apart. She took in a sharp breath.

"And you're sure no one can get here but us?" I practically growled and suddenly she was on the defensive, her muscles tensed, her stance changed and her eyes filled with anger, fear and regret. I took a step back and tried to figure out what I'd done wrong. She was looking at me the way she used to look at Jeb when he turned out not to be as dead as we'd all thought. Was that what she thought? That I was a bad guy? She thought I was like Jeb or Ari? Fine, I thought, if that's the way she feels I'll just go and wallow in self pity somewhere where she doesn't have to look at me. I turned away, but I heard her gasp and felt her grab my arm. I turned to face her again and she looked so upset. "I'm sorry." She said quietly, "You said I could trust you and I didn't. It's just when you . . . you looked so predatory."

Of course I look predatory, I wanted to scream, I'm a hawk, that's why I left, can't you understand little robin? Run now please, save us both the pain. But I couldn't say it, because I wanted her to stay, so much so that it hurt. So I tried to explain what I had been thinking. "I meant- I was going to-" I closed my eyes and looked away from her shaking my head. "It doesn't matter." I finished.

She reached out her hands and turned me back to face her.

"Yes," she said. "It does." I watched her wait for me to respond, biting her lip; I could see the fear of rejection clearly in her eyes. "What were you going to do?" she asked finally.

I put my hand under her chin and whispered,

"I was going to do this." And I reached down slowly and pressed my lips against hers.

**Yay! Finally! ****Well, I have to go to bed now. I don't know about you, but I'm pooped after writing all that! Emotional stuff. They both have some serious issues. I would absolutely hate to be their therapist. Actually I would love it, but I think that mostly has to do with the fact that I am completely and utterly in love with Fang. Aren't we all though? Even just a little? Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. For any of you who have not caught up, it was not, I repeat NOT, a dream. Thank you for reading, feel free to have your opinions known. I love to hear your points of view! Until next time! Cat**


	24. Just Let It Out Max

**Ok. I'm really impressed with myself because my updates are staying fairly regular even though my life is completely hectic. If there are no updates next week though do NOT be alarmed. I start school next week and I might be a little too frazzled to sit and type, but never fear I will come back no matter what! Twilight was amazing I need New Moon. You've gotten me hooked all you evil people who suggested it to me but thank you so much! I am very grateful. You have to love Edward. Enjoy the next chapter it's the one you've all been asking me about! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any of its characters. But**** I do own my 3 OCs and my plot. So kindly don't copy. **

He kissed me! He was actually kissing me, out here on the beach. Then the circuits in my brain fried and I had a few blissful minutes where I couldn't think about anything. I just leaned into him and tried to remember to breath. Suddenly I could feel him gently pulling away. I didn't want this sensation to end so I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer again. He smiled against my mouth and I twisted my hand into his hair. His hands were on my back and they were rubbing just below my wings. It just felt so good. I moaned and a low growling noise welled up from his throat. He moved from my lips and started to kiss my jaw. I was completely melted against him and trying really hard not to moan again. He must have felt the tension in my body, because he moved up to my ear.

"Just let it out Max." he whispered and then of course I had to. I just couldn't resist him. He moved back to my neck and started to place tiny soft kisses down my throat. I sighed and he chuckled. I was in ecstasy. The flock was safe, Fang was home and he was doing the most wonderful things to my neck, I couldn't ask for anything more. Suddenly Fang froze. What was wrong?

"Fang?" I asked quietly. He pulled back and stared at me anger burning in his eyes. I didn't understand what could possibly have made him so angry so quickly. He was starting to scare me.

"What," he spat. "Is on the back of your neck?" Then I remembered why I had been so sad earlier, so desperate to have this one perfect night with Fang. I was dying. It hit me hard. I felt like my heart had been ripped out. I could only be with Fang for 2 weeks, 2 weeks was all I had. But I'd thought he'd known. I thought Angel had told him. I thought that was why he was here. He was still staring at me breathing heavily, but he was shaking his head.

"I- I thought you knew." I said quietly.

"Max, don't tell me that's what I think it is." He warned. "Please Max; I need that to be something else, anything else." He was shaking his head again.

I was close to tears. Why couldn't I just have a happy moment in my life? Why couldn't I just kiss him and then go to sleep happy, with absolutely nothing to worry about? Why couldn't my life work out that way just once? I glanced at his face. He was angry, yes, but he there was also fear in his eyes, fear and pain. I wanted so badly to say it was nothing, to take that pain out of his eyes, but I couldn't lie to him. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"No Max." he whispered. "It can't be. You can't . . ."

I looked at him; the tears falling down my face for what felt like the hundredth time tonight. He was begging me now. Begging me to tell him he was wrong, but I couldn't.

"I'm sorry Fang." I choked out. He just stared at me. His eyes were misted and if it were anyone else I would have said they were holding back tears, but this was Fang, Fang didn't cry. If I ever saw Fang cry I would know that the world was over, that we must be dying.

"How long?" he managed to ask after a while.

"T-two weeks." I sobbed.

His face fell and so did his shoulders. I watched helpless as Fang's hope crumpled.

"We'll fix it." He whispered suddenly. "We'll save you, you're Maximum Ride. We've saved the world. Now we'll save you. You can't just . . ." He shook his head.

"Die, Fang" I spat out bitterly. "The word is die. I'm dying and you can't help me, no one can help me. This is the end. Please don't talk about saving me, because it hurts. I'm going to die Fang, and there's nothing any of us can do about it. There's nothing anyone can do about it. Everybody dies. That's life."

"You can't . . . I won't let it happen." He growled. "I'll go to Itex, I'll go to Jeb, someone has to know how to stop this."

"Jeb couldn't save Ari!" I shouted. "So what makes you think he could save me? The expiration date isn't an omen or something preventable; it's the date I am going to expire! It's a warning most people don't get! There's nothing to save me from. I cannot be saved! I am going to die in two weeks, that is a fact and nothing will change it. I've seen people die Fang. I watched Ari die. I was there! It just happens and there's nothing you can do to stop it. You can't stop the inevitable. I tried to make the last week of Ari's life the best for him. I took him to Paris and I gave him a family for a while. I taught him to write his name. I brought him happiness in his final days. That is what matters Fang! Your last few days! Not that you're dying, but how you spend the time you have left! And you want to spend my final hours on a wild goose chase?!? I need you here! I need you. I love you. You can't save me, but please help me make the flock happy before I go. Let me be with you before I go. Let me be happy for once in my life!"

He looked shocked.

"You want to spend your last days with me?" he asked shocked.

"YES! You idiot I love you!" I screamed at him. "How many times do I have to say it before it goes into your thick skull? I wished I didn't love you. My life would be so much easier if I could just hate you and then I wouldn't mind dying so much. But I love you. So I need you. So I want to live. But I can't"

He just stared at me and I couldn't take it anymore.

I screamed in frustration and launched out to hit him, but my tears were still drenching my face and I threw my punch too short so instead of hurting him I landed in his outstretched arms. He pulled me in to himself and hugged me hard. My face was pressed up against his neck and I could feel his pulse going abnormally fast even for us.

"I need you to live Max." he ground out. "I need you to live because I love you and I can't live without you again. I have to find a way to save you; I can't just stand by and watch you die."

"I need you to stay Fang please!" I was desperate now and I was sure he could hear it in my voice. "I'm begging you. I'm dying and I need you to be with me." I felt a sob wrench at my insides. Then I said something I had thought I would never say aloud. Something I had never truly felt before now. I knew what this feeling was, even mixed in with all the pain, the hurt and the love. "Fang," I whispered. "I'm afraid."

He stiffened and now I knew that he had understood. It's normal to fear death, most people do and yes I was afraid of dying. I didn't want to die. But I knew what I was really afraid of and even the thought of it scared me so much I couldn't breathe. I was afraid of dying alone. He hugged me tighter if it was even possible and whispered.

"So am I." I started to shake and I felt another sob rack my body.

Finally he gave in. "I'll stay." he said.

"Promise." I managed to choke out.

"Max . . ."

"Promise!" I pleaded. I looked at his face. I knew he wanted to at least try to save me, but I also knew it would be impossible, and if he left I would never see him again. Finally he nodded and I sank into him, grateful for his love.

"Thank you." I said, "I could never do it without you."

He kissed the top of my head and I felt a few drops of rain fall. We would have to wait till it stopped before we could fly home. Iggy was bound to be worried, but it couldn't be helped. Then I felt Fang's body shake and I looked up sharply. It wasn't rain.

Fang was crying.

It hit me then what was happening. I was going to die in two weeks and he was going to be there. Then I would be gone and he would be alone. Then in four months, on Fang's eighteenth birthday a tattoo similar to mine would appear on his neck and I wouldn't be there. He would be alone. So I cried with him. We stood there on the beach in the moonlight crying because, soon the world would be over, and we were both going to die. The sea quietly pulled in and out from the shore leaving a white wash on the sand. The moon hung quietly over the scene, looking beautiful but lonely. Our wings softly rustled in the slight wind but we barely noticed. We stood in each others arms silently comforting each other, because it was all we could do.

The world continued obliviously around us, somewhere children were waking up wishing they didn't have to go to school today, and elsewhere people were falling asleep wishing they could be someone else. They had no idea how lucky they really were. At least they might live to see the New Year. By New Year's Eve I would be just another grave in the local cemetery. Just another young girl who wasn't ready to die. Within 6 months I would be joined by both the love of my life and my brother, two more wasted lives. And than my babies would be left alone to fend for themselves. No. Those people had no idea how lucky they really were. At least they had a chance. Me? I wasn't designed to be happy, so I never truly could be. End of story. Literally.

**By the way this is **_**not**_** I repeat **_**not **_**actually the end of the story! There is more. But as I said I might be a while posting it. So don't go away. This was the end of the sort of 'Part 1' I suppose. Hope you enjoyed it! Max and Fang are hormonal teenage bird hybrids, so they're allowed to have mood swings as demonstrated here. Also they're dying so cut them some slack! They are allowed to cry and then be extremely angry and then cry again. Talk to you as soon as possible Cat**


	25. You're Beautiful

**Ok, I know it's been a long time and for that I am sorry, but I've been super busy and I haven't been staying in my own house for a while, so I couldn't have updated any sooner. This chapter is in Max. Which I know goes against my whole second chapter thing but I just realised I actually did it once already so it's not such a big deal. Thanks for everyone who reviewed.**** Special thanks to ruby1792 once again! She really helped me out with this chapter. Like there's a really good chance that if she hadn't helped out you wouldn't be getting this for another week maybe longer. So she deserves some serious respect! Enjoy this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any of its characters. But**** I do own my 3 OCs and my plot. So kindly don't copy. **

I woke up with a slight smile on my face. I sat for a few seconds trying to figure out why. Then I remembered. Fang was home. Fang was home and he loved me. Fang was home, he loved me and we had kissed on a beach under the moon. I sighed. Then we had come home to a very worried Iggy. Then I had managed to convince Fang to stay the night. I had said it would make the kids feel better in the morning to know he hadn't left. Really it was because I couldn't bear the idea of having to say goodbye and watch him walk away. No matter how long he'd be gone. So eventually he'd agreed. I smiled. Life was good.

I sat up and slipped out of my bed, pulling my hair out of my face. I changed into a shirt and jeans and brushed my hair. This was new. Since when did I brush my hair first thing in the morning? Since when did I wake up first thing in the morning? Since when did I wake up smiling? I smiled again. I already knew the answer. Since he came home. Suddenly I had to prove to myself that it wasn't all a dream. That he had really returned, that he had really said he loved me, that he had really kissed me, that he was really still here.

I knocked on the door between our rooms. Silence. I shook my head and knocked again. Silence. My hand was starting to shake but I tried to ignore it. I reached for the handle and slowly opened the door. Maybe he was just asleep and he hadn't heard me. I slipped into the room, almost afraid to look at the bed. My eyes had closed and I was still leaning against the door. I had to open my eyes. I almost immediately wished I hadn't. There was no one there. He was gone. My eyes flitted frantically around the room, but everything was as it had been before. I felt my knees give way from underneath me and suddenly I was kneeling on the floor. Had it really all just been a dream?

I couldn't believe it. I couldn't let myself. Because if I really believed he was gone, then I'd probably just stop bothering to breathe. My whole body was shaking now. I felt like crying but I couldn't. There was just nothing there.

I glanced at the bed and my heart wrenched. He was supposed to be there. He was supposed to be lying in that bed waiting for me to come in and wake him up. Life was supposed to be good to me for once. I was supposed to be happy. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see his deserted room. I didn't want to see the empty bed or chair. I didn't want to realise that it was all a dream. I wanted to pretend it was real, just for a little longer. I thought about last night. I thought about Fang promising to stay. I thought about facing death. The bottom was falling out of my world and I felt dizzy. I wasn't afraid of death. Death was a natural thing. Everyone dies. I thought about facing death alone and I couldn't breathe.

Years of disappointment should have taught me never to hope, never to dream. I would always end up alone. I would always end up unhappy. I wasn't designed to be happy. It would be so much easier if I could just die now. I was going to die in two weeks anyway, why not just get it over with. It was inevitable. But something stopped me from turning back to my room and finding an easy way to commit suicide. Something Dream Fang had said to me.

_Flashback_

"_I was afraid" he said simply. _

"_Of what?"_

"_Hurting you." he said._

"_You hurt me by leaving."_

"_I didn't think it would." he replied sadly. _

_End Flashback_

I had thought the flock didn't need me. What if I was wrong? What if I, like Fang, had assumed wrong? What if I killed myself and then the flock fell apart the way I had fallen apart? I could feel a headache coming on. I was kneeling on the floor in Fang's room, contemplating suicide. I was arguing with myself over whether or not to kill myself. I had to pull myself together. I opened my eyes. Bad plan. A fresh wave of grief hit me at the sight of the uninhabited bed. I felt my gut twist and my heart wrench. Dry sobs were racking my body, but I couldn't cry. I was too shocked. I was suddenly having difficulty breathing. My whole body was going into shutdown. It was over. Again. I looked at the clock over the bed. The kids had gone to school. Iggy was probably out in the shed and Fang . . . Fang was never here. Fang could be dead for all I knew. I felt my gut twist again. It would be ok to die if the kids were gone I suppose. I just wished Iggy wouldn't have to find me. I just wished Fang could have been here to look after them when I'm gone, but now that job would go to Iggy. I had wanted him to finish college. I had wanted him to become a famous chef or whatever he wanted to be. I had wanted him to live. I had wanted him to be more. I wanted all of them to be more. I wanted all of them to have more than I did. To maybe have spouses and kids and families. I wanted them to be happy. I wanted them to have what I couldn't have. Peace.

I almost laughed. I couldn't even have peace in my final moments. I closed my eyes. My body was letting me go. I wanted Fang. I wanted Fang more than anything else in the world. It still wasn't peaceful. Now I wasn't just feeling intense pain, but it was noisy too. There was yelling and someone was pulling my arms. Leave me alone. Unless you're Fang, please just leave me alone. But I know you can't be Fang, because Fang's not here. I had moved. I was lying on something soft now. They had dragged me there, whoever they were. I could feel something pumping my chest. Then there was something on my lips. Someone was holding my nose, pushing air inside me. I tried to use it, tried to breathe, but nothing was happening. My chest was pumping again and I could hear a voice I recognised telling me I had to breathe. I felt the air being pushed into me again; this time I used all my strength to pull the air, to use it. I felt it fill my lungs and my heart soared. I was going to live, just that little bit longer. My saviour started to pull away and I whimpered, but I knew I needed to breathe first. I started to breathe in heavily and my eyesight became less foggy. I could see a pair of dark brown eyes staring down angrily into mine. I knew those eyes. I knew that frown. I knew who he was instantly.

"Don't you ever do that to me again Max." he growled.

His face was drawn and he looked angry but I couldn't help it, I smiled.

He pulled back looking shocked then he resumed his frown.

"What just happened Max?" he asked.

"I- I thought you were gone." I whispered, trying to explain. "I was terrified. I don't want to die alone Fang. I can't. I thought it was a dream and you never really came back. Then my body just gave up."

His eyes were full of frustration, doubt and sadness, but the emotion that outweighed all the others was fear. I couldn't understand. Why fear? What was he afraid of?

"I love you." He said cupping my face in his hands. "I promised you I wouldn't go, so I won't go. I'm staying with you. I'm not going to leave. I won't let you die alone. I'm going to be there for you. You have to trust me. But you can't just give up. You can't collapse every time I'm not around Max. You almost died! What if I hadn't come back in time? What if I had come back to my room a few seconds too late and found the woman I love dead on the floor? You have to promise me. You have to promise me that this won't happen again."

I looked up at him. Now I understood the fear in his eyes. I nodded.

"I promise." I whispered and he kissed me. It was bliss and I forgot about everything. I forgot I had just almost died, I forgot I had two weeks to live, I forgot that my baby had been hiding her unhappiness from me. All I could think of was Fang and that he was kissing me. I gave an involuntary shiver and he smiled against my mouth. One of his hands was till cupping my face, the other was placed on the bed to keep him from falling on top of me. I wrapped my hands around his neck and tipped his balance so that he was now lying just next to me on the bed. He pulled back in surprise and stared down at me in surprise. I shrugged and he chuckled. His laugh warmed me up inside and I smiled at him. He curled his hand into my hair and smiled down at me.

"You're beautiful do you know that?" He said.

I stopped and stared at him. I knew I was, shall we say, 'attractive' otherwise I wouldn't have been bombarded by insalubrious invitations for the past four years, but no one had ever called me beautiful. More importantly Fang had never called my beautiful. Fang had never even mentioned my appearance before, aside from snide comments after my being dragged through hedges and the like. My eyes widened. Fang thought I was beautiful. He was smiling as he watched the expressions flitting across my face. Suddenly he was kissing me and I was in bliss again. All thoughts fled from my head and I kissed him back. A few minutes later we broke apart and Fang leaned his forehead on mine, his eyes closed.

He took a few breathes and then leaned back so our faces were close but not touching, he had a sad smile on his face and he ran the backs of his fingers down my cheek.

"I don't deserve you." He said softly.

"If you don't," I whispered back. "No one does."

**So thanks again to ruby1792. Also maxride08 deserves a big thank you because she kept asking me when I'd get this chapter out which really pushed me to finish it. Thanks for all the reviews and sorry again that it took so long. I picked a bad time to get a social life. ****My severe writer's block has once again been conquered. So I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Cat**


	26. We're Both Already In Too Deep

**Ok, so we're back to Fang again. Sorry my updates are taking so long, it's tiring being at school all day and then spending like 2 hours on my homework! ****Updates will probably get less regular as the term progresses but we'll see. So enjoy this one!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any of its characters. But**** I do own my 3 OCs and my plot. So kindly don't copy. **

**The end of Chapter 25**

"_I don't deserve you." I said softly. _

"_If you don't," She__ whispered back. "No one does."_

**Beginning Chapter 26**

I shook my head.

"You don't understand," I said. "You're Maximum Ride. You're beautiful, funny, strong, loving, and smart, you're perfect. What am I? All I've ever done is hurt you. I almost broke you. I don't deserve you. You're supposed to find a Prince Charming, who'll sweep you off your feet and treat you the way you should be treated. You deserve the man who won't ever hurt you, or argue with you or . . ." I sighed.

She laughed.

"I don't want Prince Charming!" she said pulling a face "Where did you get a stupid idea like that? I don't want some prat with foppy hair and no brains. I don't _want _to be treated like a lady. I want to be treated the way _you_ treat me, like an equal. I want _you_." She finished with the sweetest smile on her face that I just had to kiss her again. We were sidetracked for another few minutes then I pulled away to allow her to breathe. Contact with Max had momentarily cut off my brain function but I soon remembered the point I had been trying to get across to her.

"I don't deserve you." I said roughly and started to pull away. I had to get up; I had to get off this bed, out of this room, before we both got in too deep. But I felt her grab my arm and when I turned around she wasn't smiling anymore.

"You are Fang." She said quietly. "You are the strongest person I've ever met, you're IQ far surpasses mine, you deal with the flock with more compassion than anyone I know, when you fly it's the most beautiful thing in the world, when you walk into the room I'm in my knees turn to jelly, when you smile I can't help but smile back, your laugh is my favourite sound in the entire universe and I love you, so who's to say you don't deserve me?"

I stared at her as she poured out her feelings for me.

"If anyone here is undeserving it's me." She continued. "I'm nowhere near worthy enough for you. But I'm far too selfish to let you go now. I can't. I don't know about you but I'm already in too deep."

I still shook my head trying to show her she could have someone better than me, it hurt but I didn't want her to settle for someone second rate like me. She took her hand off my arm and said softly, "Even the fact that you don't think you deserve me proves that you deserve me more than all the men who've tried to-" she turned away from me and I watched a shadow pass over her face. "They thought they deserved me" she spat bitterly. "They thought they had a right to . . . suggest things to me." I felt a strong burst of hatred inside me for the idiots who'd treated her like a piece of meat. I suppressed a growl and watched as she shook her head and turned to me again.

"I love you." She said. "Why are you making this so difficult?"

I sat completely still turning over what she'd just said in my mind. She was staying very quiet while she watched me make my decision. I sighed.

"You're right." I smiled. "We're both already in too deep." I lay back down next to her and watched the tension slowly leave her body. She was smiling up at me again and I kissed her swiftly.

She smiled against me, but a few moments later I felt her stiffen and she pushed me away.

"Why wasn't your bed slept in?" she asked frowning. "You said you wouldn't leave."

I tried to brush away the question. "Does it really matter?" I asked and leaned in to kiss her again, but she pushed me away and sat up her, anger and hurt obvious from her posture.

"Yes." She replied. "Of course it matters. How could it not matter? You promised you'd stay here last night and you obviously didn't." She turned away from me. I fought with myself. I didn't want to admit where I'd really been, I was too embarrassed, but if I didn't I could lose her and nothing was worth that. I sighed.

"I didn't spend the night in my own bed because I spent the night in your room watching you sleep." I mumbled, half hoping she hadn't really heard it. I shook my head realising how stupid that had sounded. She was probably thinking about how creepy and psychotic I was being. I stood up and turned for the door, my heart ripping out of my chest and every muscle in my body screaming at me to turn around. But I didn't want to hear her rejection; I didn't want to hear her laugh derisively at my stupidity. So I walked towards the door with every intention of getting out, until I heard a small voice behind me.

"Am I that easy to leave?"

I almost screamed in frustration.

"It's just that this is the second time you've tried to get out." She continued quietly. "So should I take a hint and just let you go, or are you just trying to get me to beg? Because I can't. I can't do it. If you really want to leave then go. I won't stop you. Go find the girl you think you deserve. Be happy. The only promise you have to keep is that you'll look after them, when I'm gone." I heard her voice crack. "They can't be left alone."

I turned to respond but she was already gone. The door between our rooms shut with a click and a corresponding thunk that told me it had been locked.

"Max?" I yelled through the wooden barrier, but she didn't respond. I started to bang on the door, but she still wouldn't open it. "Max!" I shouted. "Just listen to me!" I was pleading now. I could almost see her scornful sneer at how quickly I'd been reduced to begging, but I had to get through to her. Why did this have to be so difficult? Wasn't love supposed to be effortless? But it was just like before; we were doing nothing but arguing. We were only capable of hurting each other. I sank to the floor by the door and cradled my head in my hands. I heard the shower starting to run in her room and knew she wouldn't be out anytime soon. I groaned. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. I was hurting her again. But this time I had to make it work. I wasn't leaving. I couldn't and I didn't want to. Angel was right. I needed her, she needed me and the flock needed both of us. I wish I had realised it years ago.

It was pointless to wait here until Max finished because she wouldn't be out anytime soon, so I stood up and headed for the music room. I needed a guitar.

**Thanks to MRACR. Yes it is really weird! I wish I'd known that song I might have used it! For anyone who's wondering the song is John Mayer's "Dreaming with a Broken Heart." The first verse is creepily similar to chapter 25.**** Thank you all for waiting so long and I'm sorry this is short but I have been extremely busy so I thought you might like it if I updated sooner rather than later. So I hope you enjoyed and I hope to update as soon as humanly possible. Cat**


	27. My Offer Still Stands

**Ok, sorry again for the super long time between updates. I seem to be saying that a lot these days so I think we might have to come to terms with the fact that my updates are going to be irregular, sporadic, and erratic, whichever word you favour. On the other hand my chapters will be sort of long and grammatically and um . . . spellingly(?) correct. So here goes with a chapter I wrote during one of my 'study periods' coughcough****freecoughcough. So yeah, sorry bout that. Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter. : )**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any of its characters. But**** I do own my 3 OCs and my plot. So kindly don't copy. **

I fled to my room and locked the door behind me. I didn't want to watch him walk away. I couldn't. I couldn't understand him. He kept saying he loved me, then seemingly changing his mind and trying to leave me. I couldn't follow. I couldn't keep up. I couldn't handle such torture to my emotions.

I tried to compose myself and my thoughts, but there was only one thought running through my mind. He was leaving, again. It was over, again. I was going to have to contemplate dying alone, again. My heart was aching and I knew that soon I was going to revert to my panic attack of this morning, but first I needed to cry, hard. I stumbled over to my radio, with tears starting to blind my vision, and slammed down the 'on' button, but no sound emerged. I could hear him knocking on the door now and I had no music to block it out with, so I retreated to my bathroom. I heard him shout my name and I leaned against the bathroom door and tried to hold back the tears. I heard him banging and I searched frantically for a way to block him out. Then I heard him beg. He was begging for me to listen but I just shut my eyes tight and tried to make it all go away. Wasn't that what I'd just done? I had listened but all I had heard was attempts to leave. Every time I countered them he would just invent a new reason we shouldn't be together. The banging had stopped now. I sank to the floor. Why was it so hard? My tears started to fall heavily so I reached for the shower tap and switched it to its highest pressure, allowing the water to cascade on an empty space, to cover the sound of my heart wrenching sobs. Why couldn't we just make this work? I sat on the floor leaning against my bathroom door for what felt like forever.

I stood up after a while and looked at the face in the mirror. What had happened to the girl I once was? Or even the girl I had been this morning? Even the girl from the last 4 years had looked better than the one staring back at me now. Someone once said it was 'better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all'. Whoever that was, was an idiot with the emotional capacity of a water biscuit. All of our lives would have been better if Fang and I had never fallen in love with each other. We wouldn't have cut Iggy out so much; we wouldn't have created such inner torture for Angel, most importantly if Fang had never loved me he would never have left in the first place. Problem solved. With no pain, no agonizing, heart-wrenching desolation and no utter loneliness the problem would have been solved. I couldn't stop loving him though, not now, not ever. I sighed and watched the reflection's shoulders sag. I watched her face slowly return to its usual colour, as opposed to the red blotchy stain left by our violent tears. I watched her eyes close off from the world, pulling the curtains over the window to her soul. I watched her mouth set into her practised smile. It was faker than before, but that was to be expected. I hated the girl in the mirror. She was the reason he was gone. What do you do when you look in the mirror and staring at you is why he's not here? What do you say when everything you said was the reason why he left you, in the end? How do you cry when every tear you shed won't ever bring him back again? I hated myself for loving him. The girl in the mirror bowed her head and I tried to forget that she was me. That realization would have to be rejected if I was to continue my false existence for even a few minutes. I closed my eyes and breathed deep. It was time to face the world. I stood up and turned off the shower that had, earlier, filled the room with steam, but had long since run cold from lack of hot water. I leaned my forehead against the door, then pulled it open and headed for the kitchen.

I heard Iggy in there chatting away to Alice and Keith. I swallowed a groan. Keith was not exactly my favorite person in the world. In fact, on the list of people I dislike intensely, he was somewhere just underneath the evil scientists who forced me to spend 10 years of my childhood in a cage, which is really saying something. I steeled myself and walked into the kitchen. Iggy turned his unseeing eyes towards me and frowned.

"Excuse me." He said to his friends and walked over to me grabbing my arm in one smooth motion and dragging me back out of the door in another.

"What the hell did you do to him?" he hissed.

"Who?" I asked confused.

"You know who." He replied annoyed. "He's been sitting upstairs messing with that guitar for hours. I asked him what was up but he doesn't want to talk about it. I know something's wrong. So spill." My heart was racing in my chest. He was still here? Could we still fix it? I smiled at Iggy but he couldn't see it.

"He's still here?" I asked to make sure.

"Of course he's still here you twit!! He shouted in exasperation. "He obviously loves you! He isn't going anywhere soon. Honestly! Now go and apologize, kiss and make up, please? Or at least sort it out before the others come home alright?"

"Yeah." I laughed. "I made the rules to that game Ig! I'm the master!"

"You used to be." He mumbled.

I frowned and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"I will be again." I promised. "I'm going to sort this out and then we're going to have a talk. All of us."

He nodded and walked back to the kitchen. I turned and headed into the living room. It was the fastest way to reach the music room and I wanted to ensure that Iggy was still right about Fang. I was half way across the room when someone grabbed me from behind slamming me back into a wall. I tried to fight back but after my little seizure this morning I was still weak and my muscles gave out. So I found myself pinned against the wall of my living room, by a horny 19- year old boy, who was most definitely _not_ Fang.

Oh crud.

"My offer still stands." He said huskily and I tried to slap him, but my hands were slammed against the wall behind me. I was starting to black out and I struggled to keep myself awake while fighting the urge to spit in his face.

"Let . . . Go . . . Of . . . Me." I growled. He stepped back in shock allowing me to regain my composure. I took a deep breath and trained my super glare on Iggy's best friend, Keith.

"I believe I turned down that offer." I snapped. He pouted and flipped his blonde hair back out of his eyes.

"Just because _he's_ home doesn't mean we can't still have some fun. Your husband's back so what? That doesn't change how I feel about you. You and me, we'd be great together. Face it, one little affair won't hurt. Because what he doesn't know . . ." He smiled in what I assume was intended to be a sexy way, but really he just looked constipated to me.

For a few moments I just stared at him. Surely no one could be this moronic. His suggestions, his actions, even him just being in such close proximity to me, filled me with outrage. I thought of what Fang had said earlier about not deserving me and I remembered who I'd thought of when I'd told him about men and their perverted belief that it was their god given right to sleep with me. I had been referring in the most part to Keith. I felt the outrage leaking through my veins and filling me up to the brim until my mind spilled over with indignant rage and I proceeded to verbally take lumps out of him.

"There are so many things wrong with that statement I'm not even sure where to start! First of all it suggests that we've been having fun while my husband's been away, which we haven't! Mostly because I think you're an insufferable pervert and the only reason you're even allowed to step foot in this house at all is that you're Derek's best friend."

He was staring at me in shock and looked as if he wanted to say something but I wasn't finished yet, not even close.

"Secondly, my husband's return does not mean 'so what' to me and my family. What it mans to us, is a return to normal, happy, family life. Funnily enough it doesn't change how I feel about you either. I still think you're an insufferable pervert who shouldn't be allowed anywhere near my family."

His face was now a massive contortion of confusion and rage. Although he still managed to look shocked at the same time. I still wasn't finished.

"Thirdly, and this is the point you need to get into your thick skull, I am in love with my husband, more than you could ever imagine. Completely and utterly head over heels in love with him. We grew up together as kids, I've trusted him with my life since the day we met and that's never going to change no matter how long he goes away or what stupid things he may say or do at times. He and my family are the only things in this world that matter to me!"

He stared at me still seemingly uncomprehending. I waited for him to apologize or even walk away but he just stood there staring at me, looking for all the world like a goldfish that just found out it's castle had been slated for demolition and it would now be living in the cold outside water of it's bowl.

"You are such a moron." I said and turned for the stairs, but he cornered me against the wall.

"You're beautiful when you're angry." He whispered.

I thought back to the last person who had said that to me and how warm it had made me feel inside, how loved. Keith saying it only made me feel sick.

"You might want to take a step back before I turn you into mincemeat." I warned.

"Where's the real Max gone?" he asked me angrily. "Where's the sweet, docile woman I fell in love with?"

I laughed then. He thought he was in love with me. He was in love with Pretend Me.

"She was never the real Max." I grinned maliciously. "I was. I was just taking a short break. So now I'm going to have a welcome home party! It involves beating the living daylights out of jerks like you." I ground out and then I shoved him hard in the chest, my anger fueling my muscles with even more strength. He fell sprawling backwards onto the ground and I stood over him pressing my boot to his neck.

"It's such a terrible shame that I promised Derek I wouldn't hurt his friends." I spat. "Because you deserve such a beating. Although I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I explained what has just transpired between us. But, I'm not going to say anything and neither are you, because really it would only hurt Derek and Nick would probably kill you. Aside from the fact that I would hate to miss out on the pleasure of ridding you from this earth myself, and believe me given half a chance I would, quite frankly, the last thing I need on my hands right now is a police investigation into your death. So . . . here's the deal, you skedaddle back to the kitchen and pretend this never happened, making Derek none the wiser, and I won't crush you into the ground like a bug. Savvy?"

He nodded and I stepped away not even bothering to spare him a glance I sprinted to the stairs and took them two at a time. Please be still there, please be still there, please be still there. I flung open the door to find Fang sitting against the wall with the guitar leaning beside him. I let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding and sat down on his other side, soaking up his warmth. He stared ahead in his own little world and I stared at my feet. There were so many things I wanted to stay but my throat had suddenly gone dry and my tongue was completely tied. After a few moments, he mumbled something that changed everything. They were two words I couldn't remember him ever saying before and I never expect to hear again.

"I'm sorry." He said.

I leaned in to him and rested my head on his shoulder.

"I know." I replied.

**Thanks for caring. Sorry it took so long. I am trying. I'm just going to have to try harder. Hope you enjoyed this.**** I was going to make it a songfic with another Kelly Clarkson song called "Where is Your Heart." But I preferred this version. Cat**


	28. You Can Put Me Down Now

**Ok****, I am really, really sorry, my WORD stopped working so I spent the last week trying to get this written! So I apologise. Before I start I would like to thank Nathaniel773, your comments were both constructive and critical and I am trying to adjust the problems you pointed out. Thanks to everyone who waited! Enjoy this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any of its characters. But**** I do own my 3 OCs and my plot. So kindly don't copy. **

I sat against the wall with Max leaning her head on my shoulder, wishing the moment would never end. Her hair was tickling my cheek and I could smell the heady scent she obtained from sleeping in a warm bed. I had finally figured it out. All I had to do was apologise. I had never said I was sorry before. It just hadn't been necessary, nor had I ever really thought about it, but it was like a weight had been lifted off my chest. I was sorry, for everything, and she knew that now. I placed my and on her shoulder, pulling her into my chest. She sighed contentedly and I rested my head on hers. I didn't want this moment to end. I wanted to encapsulate us in this bubble of time and make it last forever, but I couldn't and eventually we would have to get up and face the world again, but not just yet. We sat and watched the birds fly past the window. I was happy and I was relaxed. The flock was safe and we were together. I dropped a light kiss on the top of her head and she sighed again. We sat in silence, not because we were awkwardly avoiding speaking first, but because there was no need to speak. Our silence was comfortable. Life was wonderful.

Suddenly Max's phone started to beep. She slipped it out of her pocket and looked at the screen. She smiled at me apologetically.

"Alarm says it's time to pick up the kids." She sighed. "No one else can do it."

I nodded and jumped up, holding my hand out to her. She smiled and took my hand pulling a joking curtsy as she stood. I chuckled and bowed to her and she placed her hand on the crook of my arm. We walked regally across the room and would have continued that way, but for the spiral staircase not being wide enough across for both of us.

"Ladies first." I said stifling a smirk. She gave me a withering look and proceeded down the stairs as slowly as she could, until I had to pick her up by the waist and carry her the rest of the way down. It was in this state that we burst into the living room, with her in my arms, laughing and trying to hit me at the same time and me trying to avoid her blows and keep my face straight. The inhabitants of the room stared at us in shock. Iggy was sitting with his arms around the girl from the photo I'd seen last night, whom I assumed was Alice and sitting opposite them was a blonde haired boy with light blue eyes. Keith, I presumed. But while Alice was smiling at our outrageous public display of affection, Keith was scowling. His face was that of a man who had once had a great prize but had lost it to another. The hunger in his eyes when he glanced at Max made anger flare up inside of me. She must have felt me tense because she pulled her face up to my ear.

"You can put me down now." She whispered. I nodded robotically and placed her unceremoniously on her feet. I smiled at Alice and ignored Keith, tapping Iggy's shoulder as we walked past in silent recognition. We reached the hall and Max turned around.

"I'm going to pick up the kids Derek," she said "I won't be long."

He nodded and we turned for the door. I had noticed the way she had said I instead of we, but decided to ignore it.

I was just wondering how we were going to pick them up, when she took out a set of keys and opened the garage door. I followed her into the garage and it closed shut behind me. She was already slipping into the driver's seat of a huge soccer mom car. It was big enough to carry seven people, with wing space and extra room for luggage! She was putting the key in the ignition and I realised that she planned on leaving without me. I concentrated on the garage and slipped quickly into the passenger's seat while time was stopped. She jumped when I let time resume its normal pace. She looked at me in shock and I raised an eyebrow in my timeless what-did-you-think-was-going-to-happen looks. She smiled and then her smile became a grin and it went a little wild. She pressed a button on the dashboard and the garage door started to slowly lift. She grinned at me and switched on the radio. Simple Plan blared out. It was loud, it was fast, and she obviously needed no more incentive. She put the car in gear and took off from the driveway like a shotgun. She drove like a freaking maniac! I tried not to think about how fast we were moving and concentrated on the song instead, but that was worse. It was like someone had written down my feelings from the last four years and made a song out of them just to torment me.

_Another day is going by__  
__I'm thinking about you all the time  
But you're out there  
And I'm here waiting_

_  
And I wrote this letter in my head  
Cuz so many things were left unsaid  
But now you're gone  
And I can't think straight_

I'd do anything  
Just to hold you in my arms  
To try to make you laugh  
Cuz somehow I can't put you in the past  
I'd do anything  
Just to fall asleep with you  
Will you remember me?  
Cuz I know  
I won't forget you

Together we broke all the rules  
Dreaming of dropping out of school  
And leave this place  
To never come back

So now maybe after all these years  
If you miss me have no fear  
I'll be here  
I'll be waiting

This could be the one last chance to make you understand  
And I just can't let you leave me once again

I instantly regretted it._  
_I didn't know whether she was driving so fast for my benefit, or whether this was the way she always drove, but honestly, I was freaking terrified, not that I would ever admit it! Out of the blue she took what appeared to be a random turn and pulled a sharp handbrake turn into the school car park, just as the bell rang. Kids came pouring out of the school and I relaxed my firm grip on the right side of my chair, where I'd been hanging on for dear life, so she couldn't see. I watched Angel trudge straight towards us, not stopping to speak with any fellow students or even teachers. She was followed closely by a stomping Gazzy, whose lack of eyebrows did not take away from the furious look on his face. Nudge, in sharp contrast, skipped to the car looking as if nothing could drag her down from cloud nine. She had a date tonight, I remembered, with a cute guy called Mike. They closed the doors to the car and we sat in silence for a moment. Then Max asked them all how their day had been and they stared at her in surprise. She blushed then and told them to buckle up and we took off at breakneck speed. Once again I controlled my features and hid my overwhelming urge to jump from the vehicle. I was determined not to let Max see I was afraid. My right hand was once again gripped tight to the seat. I tried to gauge from the kids if this was normal, but Angel was sleeping, while Nudge was chattering away to herself and Gazzy's current expression was unreadable. I watched Max's hands move swiftly but surely through the gear changes and saw her face concentrating hard on the road. Yet there was a wild grin spreading slowly back over her face as she drove. Then suddenly we were home, it was over. She tugged the key out of the ignition and the garage door slowly shut behind us. The kids hopped out of the car heading inside. I watched Angel and the Gasman trudge to the door, while Nudge practically floated on her little cloud of bliss. It was only the two of us in the car now. I relaxed my hand and turned to the designated driver.

"Do you always drive like that?" I asked.

"Only really when I'm angry." She replied quietly, staring at her hands in her lap.

I frowned. "Are you angry at me?" I asked unsure.

"No." I watched her glance quickly up at the house and then back at her hands.

I frowned. What wasn't she telling me?

"It helps." she said finally.

I sent her a questioning gaze and she finally looked me in the eye.

"With the anger." She continued. "It makes me feel like I can just drive away from all my problems, like when I fly."

I nodded. If there was anything both of us understood, it was the need to get away, to escape. We had spent ten years of our childhood in cages, locked away from the sky and from our freedom. The only thing that had kept us sane was each other. Max, Iggy and I. We were together since we were tiny. Then Nudge and next the Gasman and finally Angel. We had depended on each other to keep going.

I reached out and put a hand on her shoulder.

"You won't tell me why you're angry and maybe you have a good reason." I said. "But if you ever want to tell me, don't hesitate. I'm here for you. Okay?"

She nodded and gave me a small smile. I leaned in and kissed her lightly. Then I slipped out of the car and round to her side. I held out my hand and she clasped it tightly. We walked to the house hand in hand and I was happy, but I couldn't stop thinking this had something to do with Keith, I hadn't spoken two words to him yet and I still didn't like him.

We walked into the hallway and stopped as we saw Angel glaring at Keith with tears dropping down her face.

Max squeezed my hand and turned to me. She leaned up to my ear and said quietly.

"This is about to get messy. I think it might be best if you go somewhere else."

I pulled back and stared at her in shock. She wanted me to go? Why? What was going on here? I frowned at her and she glanced at Angel.

"Fang I don't have time for this now." She said so only I could hear. "I need you to go somewhere. Give it about half an hour and then come back. Can you do that for me please?"

I glanced at Keith who was staring at Angel in confusion, but watching Max with that same expression I'd seen earlier. It made my blood boil.

I looked back at her.

"Is this because of him?" I said jerking my head in his direction.

"Yes." She said simply.

"Fine." I ground out, trying to stop my fists from clenching. "You have half an hour. Then I'll be back and he better not still be here."

She nodded and I turned to the door. Suddenly I had an urge to claim her as mine. I span around, grabbed her by the waist and kissed her. She softened immediately and when I pulled back she leaned in close.

"Sometimes you are so childish." She whispered chuckling and stepped back with a small smile. She turned and put her hand on Angel's shoulder and I left. She better be able to deal with this on her own. I didn't like leaving but she was right. Keeping me in the same room as Iggy's friend could be hazardous to his health.

I headed for the beach and settled down by the shore to wait it out. This was going to be hard, but she'd asked me to leave and I couldn't refuse her anything. I stared out at the sea and wondered what was going on at home.

**Ok so there it is for you, sorry it took so long but as I said I had no WORD. So I hope this chapter was okay. I'm not really sure about it. Tessthedragonfreak I used your idea eventually! It worked out quite nicely because I needed something loud for them to listen to in the car. Hope you enjoyed it Cat**


	29. Angel Make It Stop!

**Ok, here's another chapter for you. Thanks O Future Ruler Maria Larry. You reminded me I had a fic to write too. Hope you all enjoy this one. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any of its characters. But**** I do own my 3 OCs and my plot. So kindly don't copy. **

I put a hand on Angel's shoulder.

"Max?" she thought.

'Yes?'

"Did you really . . . with Keith . . . he's thinking . . . it's awful, you didn't did you Max? Please tell me you didn't." she sent to my mind. I tried to understand. Keith was watching the two of us warily. Angel's tears were soaking her face and shirt. Gazzy was half way down the hall but had turned to stare at us and Nudge was presumably in her room, long gone from the scene. I couldn't see Iggy or Alice anywhere.

'Why honey, what's he thinking?' I had to know what was going on here. I fought the almost overwhelming urge to call Fang back so he could rid me of Keith once and for all. I needed to get rid of him myself, but Fang had looked so angry. I hadn't wanted to send him away. I hated being away from him now. I needed him. I wanted him to be here beside me. It was Keith's fault that he wasn't here. It was Keith's fault that I was missing out on a whole half an hour that I could be spending with Fang. I only had 2 weeks. I couldn't afford to waste them.

Angel put her hand in mine and looked up into my face.

"You shouldn't have to see them." She thought.

'See what?' I thought back. What was going on? Why did she look so upset and revolted at the same time?

She winced and suddenly her resolve must have strengthened because she answered my question Angel style.

"Did you do this?" she asked me in a voice full of revulsion and fear. Then a tirade of images forced themselves into my head. They were blurry but I could vaguely see two people pressed up against a wall. I tried to focus on their faces and suddenly it was like someone had pressed a play button in my head, and the pictures started to move. I watched the couple moving in synchronisation as if . . . oh god. Those figures were having sex against a wall. I started to try to look away. But the girl groaned and I thought I recognised her voice. I tried once again to focus on her face and then I heard Keith's voice.

"Yes, that's it Max, that's it."

I stopped short. That was . . . Keith . . . and . . . me? I gagged.

'ANGEL! ANGEL, MAKE IT STOP! TAKE IT AWAY!'

Suddenly the image was gone and I could see the real world again. Angel was staring up at me. Her tears were still pouring down her face. Now I understood. That look of revulsion, that fear. I bent down to try to hug her, but she pulled jerkily away.

"Did you?" she whispered.

'No.' I replied in my mind simply and honestly. 'I never . . . I haven't ever . . . with any man, especially not him.'

Her eyes widened. "Not even . . . ?"

'No.' I shook my head. 'Not even Fang.'

Then she wrapped her hands tightly around my neck and cried into my shirt.

"I'm sorry." She sobbed. "I'm sorry I ever thought . . ."

"Shhh." I traced circles on her lower back with my hand trying to calm her down. "It's not your fault. It looked pretty bad. I'm sorry you ever had to see anything like that."

She shook and sobbed and my shirt was already soaked with her tears but I let her stay in the hug for as long as she needed me.

After a while her breathing returned to its normal speed and she released my neck.

"Could someone please tell me what's going on here." I heard from Keith. I ignored him.

"Sweetie why don't you head back to your room? I'm just going to sort this out. It's never going to happen again ok?" I tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and she nodded. "Gazzy that goes for you too." I called out to the small boy staring worriedly at the two of us. He nodded and ran away down the corridor. I turned to Keith.

"As for you." I spat out "You disgust me. Get out of my house before I decide to let Nick deal with you."

Then I turned to walk into my kitchen to find Iggy.

Suddenly I felt something hit the side of my head and I was knocked over. I landed heavily on the floor and blinked a few times in shock. What had just happened?

Someone was screaming and I could feel something heavy pressing down on my chest.

I took a deep breath and almost choked. Something was on me. I started to struggle and I felt something hold down my arms. Alright time to kick some serious butt.

I rolled over throwing my opponent into the wall and then I pulled up from a crouch into a standing position. My head exploded and I felt something warm trickle down my neck, but I ignored it. Pain was just a message. The screaming had stopped. I opened my eyes properly, calling on all my senses to tell me what was going on. I saw Keith struggling to stand up and Angel lying on the floor.

Her eyes were closed.

I saw red.

I pulled back and kicked Keith full force in the stomach. He cried out and collapsed. Then I pulled his arm up snapping it around and out both dislocating and breaking it at the same time. I heard him scream and then I assume he blacked out. I rushed to my baby's side and felt for a pulse. It was there, she was fine. I gently turned her over and saw a small bruise on the side of her forehead. I kissed it gently and stroked her cheek. Poor thing. That must have really hurt.

I picked her up carefully and started to walk towards her room, when I remembered the unconscious man in my hallway.

"Gazzy!" I called out.

He stepped cautiously around the corner.

"Fetch Iggy." I said.

He nodded and disappeared back around the corner. I stood with my baby in my arms and wished Fang were here. I needed someone to watch Keith while I put Angel in bed and watched her for concussion. Iggy would not have been my first choice, seeing as Keith was his friend but I couldn't leave the Gasman to do it having seen how quickly he'd taken out both me and Angel. I sighed. Fang would have been the perfect candidate. But he was somewhere else for now and he would be for at least another twenty minutes, so I would just have to deal without him.

Iggy sprinted around the corner.

"Gazzy said you needed me." He said worriedly. "He also said you were bleeding and Angel was out and something about Keith. Is he alright?"

I snarled and he stopped talking.

"Your friend is currently out cold on the floor, but with good reason." I ground out. "He hit me with something which is why I'm bleeding and when Angel tried to stop him he knocked her out. Now, Fang will be gone for at least twenty more minutes, so I need you to watch your friend and knock him back out if he wakes up while I take our younger sister to lie down and make sure she doesn't get concussion." I started to walk to Angel's room when I thought of something else. "You might want to get him out of here before Fang gets back because when he hears about what happened he's going to want to rip him to pieces. Quite frankly if I didn't have to watch her I'd take the pleasure of doing it myself. So clean him up, get him out and don't bring him back here again."

He stared after me in shock and Gazzy started to explain everything to him, minus the conversations in my head.

I hugged Angel close to me and walked quickly to her room. Once inside I laid her down on her bed and tucked her under the covers, carefully removing her shoes. She sighed gently and rolled over. I smiled. She was no longer unconscious, now I had to wake her up to prevent concussion. I gently shook her shoulder and she slowly opened her eyes.

"Max?"

"Yeah sweetie." I smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay, my head hurts a little." She winced and I smiled sympathetically.

"Yeah, that was quite a knock you got." I said quietly.

"Max you're bleeding!" she cried suddenly.

Oh yeah. I'd forgotten about that. The side of my neck was feeling warm and sticky and my hair felt matted on the right side.

"That doesn't matter right now." I said "What matters is that you're ok."

"Where's that scumbag?" she shouted. "He . . . Max . . . he hit you." She finished.

"Yes." I said calmly. "So I hit him back."

"I hope you hit him so hard he'll never be able to walk again." She spat.

I frowned. She shouldn't say things like that even if I did agree with her.

"He would deserve it." She whispered shuddering.

"Yes." I said sadly. "He would, but that's not for us to decide."

She nodded. "I think I understand."

"Good." I smiled. "Now, I know it hurts but you need to stay awake, so why don't you go help Nudge pick her outfit for her date tonight."

She nodded her face lighting up and jumped off the bed and to Nudge's room.

I crumpled onto the side of the bed the moment she was gone. Oh God. My baby had those images in her head. Those disgusting images. I shuddered and tried to hold down the vomit building in the back of my throat. My head was pounding and I was starting to feel dizzy. I put my hand up to my neck and felt the hot liquid trickling down it.

Crud.

I needed to get out of Angel's room and into my own, so I stumbled across to the door and made my way through Total's room to mine. The darkness relaxed me. It was as close to Fang as I could be for now. I stumbled to the bed and collapsed onto the side. Or at least I tried to. Instead I missed the bed completely and landed on the floor. I curled up into a ball and tried to block out the pain. Pain is just a message. Pain is just a message. But there was no adrenaline to push it out of my conscious. There was nothing else to think about. Nothing else to think about. Nothing.

Wait! I have to stay awake, have to . . . I could feel my eyes drifting closed. I was passing out. No! I couldn't pass out. I had to stay awake! It was too important. I pulled myself up so I was leaning against the bed. I tried to make my breathing more even, but it kept coming out in short gasps. I fought to keep my eyes open. Why did I send him away? Why hadn't I let him stay? I needed him now.

Where was he? How long had it been? I could hear yelling from the hallway. Was that him? Was he out there?

"Fang?" I yelled.

"Max?" I heard.

"In here!" I shouted back. Yes he was coming, thank goodness.

"Coming!" he called and I leaned my head back against the bed. Now I could relax.

He burst in the door and sprinted to my side. "Gazzy said . . . jeezus! Max you're bleeding all over the place!"

I nodded and felt a few small tears roll down my cheek.

"We need to stop the bleeding." He said quietly and he ran into my bathroom. When he came back out his shirt was wrapped into a ball in his hand dripping with water. He leaned in to slowly clean my wound. I was shocked by how intense my reaction was to his closeness and his naked chest. I couldn't breathe and I lost all coherent thought. He pulled back, his face contorted with fear.

"Max? Are you alright? You need to breathe."

I just stared at him. I thought of what Angel had said earlier.

**Flashback**

"_Did you?" she whispered._

'_No.' I replied simply and honestly. 'I never . . . I haven't ever . . . with any man, especially not him.'_

_Her eyes widened. "Not even . . . ?"_

'_No.' I shook my head. 'Not even Fang.'_

**End Flashback**

"Max? No seriously breathe!" He yelled.

I gasped and he relaxed a little.

"Good Max, you need to keep doing that." He said gently.

He leaned in again to wash my head and I froze. He pulled back to look at me questioningly.

"You . . . you're . . . so . . . close." I stuttered.

He frowned. "What?"

I shook my head trying to speak and think clearly, but everything was fuzzy.

"Fang . . . you . . . you . . . I love you."

He smiled. "I love you too. That's why I've got to clean you up now ok?"

I nodded. Then he started to wash my head again. God he smelled so good. He smelled like . . . Fang. The best smell in the world. I sighed and he chuckled.

He spent a few more minutes cleaning my head and then he leaned back.

"Alright Max." he said calmly. "I've let you away with lots of secrets. I've allowed you to keep lots of things from me and maybe that was the right thing to do, but I'm definitely starting to think it wasn't. It's not healthy. I need you to confide in me. I need you to let me in and most of all I need to know what is going on."

I nodded tentatively.

He reached out and stroked my cheek.

"So," he started. "Let's start with today. What happened with Keith and why?"

I sighed it was finally time to spill the beans.

**So there you have it. Hope you all enjoyed it. I will update as soon as I can. I wish I could have killed Keith but I sort of didn't want Max to be responsible for Iggy's best friend's death. So yeah. Thanks to all who reviewed. Cat**


	30. Might Think What Max?

**Ok, we're back to Fang again. Joy!**** Yay chapter 30! Yay over 300 reviews! I'm so happy right now. Thank you all! Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any of its characters. But**** I do own my 3 OCs and my plot. So kindly don't copy. **

She took a deep breath and looked at me.

"Alright." She said quietly. "Keith has been . . ."

She stopped and bit her lip, looking at her hands in her lap. I reached out and put my hand on hers.

"Just say it." I told her. "This is important."

She nodded. "He's been . . . trying to convince me to have an affair with him since the day he met me." She garbled it out so fast I almost didn't understand and then comprehension flooded through me. It suddenly made so much sense. The glances he sent her way, the anger she'd felt, the way she'd sent me away when she'd seen him arguing with Angel, the puzzle all fell into place, it was only missing one piece, the most important one, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to slot it in to place.

She was staring at my face with obvious fear in her eyes, fear and pain. What was she afraid of? Unless . . .

"Did you . . . ? Did he . . . ?" I tried to phrase it as delicately as I could but the words were sticking in my throat.

She shook her head violently and then she moaned.

"What's wrong? Is it your head?" I was worried now, she was slumping slightly against the bed and her eyes were squeezed shut. I touched my hand to her cheek and her lids snapped open looking straight into mine, there was a wild fear there and disgust or repulsion and I pulled my hand away quickly. Was she repulsed by me? Was my touch the cause of that violent reaction? But she whimpered and reached her hand out for mine.

"What's wrong Max?" I asked giving her my hand.

"Keith." She said quietly, a shiver rippling through her. "He was thinking . . . these awful things, awful images and Angel . . . I've never let her come in contact with him before. I didn't want her to read a mind like his, I wanted to protect her. But, today I forgot, I didn't think. I was so preoccupied." She shook her head again and stared unseeingly into the distance.

I thought about what she'd said. What kind of images would scare her so much? I'd never known Max to shiver in fear. I rubbed my thumb gently over her hand to calm her and she returned her gaze to mine. She gave me a slight smile and it relaxed me. At least she could still smile.

I glanced at her wound to check that the blood was clotting and then I caught her gaze again.

"Max, just tell me everything ok?" I said quietly.

"What if I can't?" she whispered and I cocked an eyebrow at her.

"If I tell you everything Fang you'll want to kill him and he's not worth it." She said simply.

I growled, feeling my fists curl automatically in my anger.

"See." She said sadly. "And I haven't even told you about it yet. So just leave it alright? It's not like I haven't talked about it, Angel had to go through it too, so we have each other ok? Please Fang? I don't want to have to describe it to you. Just suffice it to say, he's gotten what he deserves and he won't be bothering us again. End of story."

I couldn't help but feel unsatisfied, but I knew there was no point in pushing her on this. I could see how much it was upsetting her and she obviously really didn't want to talk about it, so I let it drop, most of it anyway.

"So how did you get hurt?" I growled.

"I told him to get out of my house," she said. "Then I turned my back on him." She frowned and then gave a short bitter laugh. "No one's ever turned their back on him before. Then he hit me, with something really hard."

I growled again, this guy had a lot to answer for.

She put her hand on my cheek. "Don't Fang, he's not worth it."

I nodded and she smiled at me.

I smiled back but it was slightly forced.

"Seriously Fang." She laughed. "Forget about him. I have."

I could see clearly that she was lying and I think she knew that but I didn't say anything. I needed to talk about something else now before I got any angrier.

"So what about last night and your breakdown in mid-air?" I asked cautiously.

She winced. "I had a dream sometime last year about you coming back and everything was perfect until you started to disappear and then you started calling me a sap and a wimp and torturing me about how I couldn't even take care of myself let alone a flock of teenage mutant hybrids. You were gone as a physical entity but your voice was taunting me until I woke up in floods of tears and you were still gone. It was all a dream. Last night I thought it had all just been another dream, that the torture was about to begin and I started to try to save myself by waking myself up. As you saw, I just ended up blacking out instead." She looked up into my eyes. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

"Don't be." I said bitterly. "It was my fault you had those dreams in the first place and it was my fault you panicked mid-air. I'm the one who's sorry."

She smiled tentatively. "Let's just say we're both sorry and leave it at that."

I smiled. "Sure."

She sighed and leaned back against the bed. "God, I'm wrecked, I don't know if I could deal with anymore crises today."

I chuckled and moved so that I was sitting next to her instead of in front of her. She froze and I stopped.

"Fang." She whispered. "You're still not wearing a shirt."

I looked down at myself in surprise. I'd forgotten and I hadn't really felt the cold.

Having ascertained that I was indeed not wearing a shirt I turned back to her terrified face.

"And your point is?" I said in the calmest voice I could manage because her expression was pretty hilarious.

"Well . . ." she started. "You must be cold I mean, it's winter and-"

"And we're in Florida," I smiled. "It's not exactly chilly."

"Yes but," she gabbled. "What if one of the others came in . . . they might think . . ." she tapered off either unable or unwilling to finish the sentence.

This was priceless. "Might think what Max?" I asked innocently.

She turned a dark red and I decided to put her out of her misery.

"It's alright I'm going to go throw a clean shirt on now, so you can relax." I leaned over, dropped a kiss on her nose and leaped up from the floor.

"I'll see you in the kitchen." I called back over my shoulder. "Whatever Ig's cooking smells great!"

I heard her sigh behind me and I closed the door chuckling. I reflected on how much I had laughed since I'd returned to the flock. It was definitely more than the last few years anyway, seeing as I hadn't laughed once in that whole time.

I headed for my room and had just reached the door when Nudge called out to me from the other end of the hallway.

"Can I go Fang?" She whined.

I span around and looked at her trying to figure out where she was going in that jumper and skirt. Then it struck me. She was going on a date. I nodded and she smiled.

"Thanks Fang." She yelled back to me as she ran for the door. "Tell Max for me ok?"

And then she was gone.

I shook my head in disbelief. These kids never ceased to amaze me.

**Apologies for not updating in about a week**** and sorry it's so short, but I've been mega busy. I'm in a pantomime in October so I have rehearsals after school every Tues and Thurs plus homework plus study plus family stuff plus meeting up with a friend I hadn't seen in 2 months! So my life has been pretty hectic! I'm trying my best and I do hope to update at least once a week if I can. I have not abandoned this story!! Hope you enjoyed this one. I have so much planned! Cat**


	31. Worried About Gazzy and Iggy

**Ok. ****Sorry it's been a while. Again. I've been overloaded with work. Thanks to orinn glenn and Tessthedragonfreak for getting me back on track. My apologies. Hope you like this one I'm giving the others some airtime now because I want to show you that they've all grown up but maybe not all for the best. Enjoy. Cat.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any of its characters. But**** I do own my 3 OCs and my plot. So kindly don't copy. **

I sighed and leaned against the bed. Ok that had been a lot of bare muscle. Not that I hadn't seen it before, just . . . it had been four years and a lot had happened since then. Mainly me realising that I was head over heels in love with the man that those muscles happened to be attached to. Also he had been really close. Too close for comfort. I sighed, I wasn't going to complain. I rolled my eyes at my own stupidity. This was getting weird. I don't sigh. That's just not one of those things that I do. At least, not in that, that-guy's-so-hot-that-I-just-can't-control-my-own-respiration-system way. I didn't do that. At least, I didn't used to. I groaned and reached for my stereo. I flicked the on switch and threw it lightly onto my bed. One of The Hoosiers songs from a few years ago poured out as I opened my wardrobe and changed my shirt.

_The truth be told, the truth be told  
I'm worried about the future holds, the future holds  
I'm starting to worry about Ray_

I thought about the problem of what to say to Iggy about Keith. I rubbed my temples and tried to think of a good way to say 'your friend was a filthy pervert who insulted both me and Fang and assaulted both myself and Angel' without hurting Ig. I was currently drawing a complete blank.

_The truth be told, the truth be told  
I'm worried about the future holds, the future holds  
I'm seriously worried about Ray_

I shook my head and left for the kitchen. Fang was right. Something smelled really good. I had been worried that Iggy might not be in the mood to cook for me. Which in itself would have been bad enough, but added to the fact that I would then be forced to cook . . . well, all I can say is we'd all be starving in that case, because going hungry is probably better than trying to swallow whatever I would produce.

_They say the future's out to get you  
You know that I won't let you fall  
They say the future's out to get you  
You know that I won't let you fall_

I stepped into the kitchen and smiled. Alice was still here and she was helping Iggy make Spaghetti Bolognese. I relaxed, everything must be fine, he was messing and joking with her, so I took my seat at the table knowing there was no point in offering to help since I'd only get in the way. Alice turned around and nodded her head tentatively at me.

"Max." she said and I nodded back.

Iggy stiffened at the sound of my name. Ok, so maybe everything wasn't exactly fine. He turned around and glared at me. I had seen Iggy give dirty looks before but he was actually scaring me. He looked absolutely furious. I had to steel myself just so that I wouldn't flinch. We just sat there staring at each other until Alice finally reached out and put a hand on Ig's arm. He relaxed at once and turned back to the food. I sat in shock. Alice turned to me with a sweet smile, silently telling me she was sorry for both Keith and Iggy's behavior. I nodded in thanks and she turned back to my brother.

_The truth be told, the truth be told  
I'm treading on my tippy toes, my tippy toes  
I'm starting to worry about Ray_

I turned to the table and cradled my head in my hands. This was going to be a problem. Angel came in and quietly sat beside me. Total followed close behind and jumped into his chair.

"What's for dinner?" He asked impatiently. How typically Total. Suddenly I realized Total had spoken in front of Alice and she hadn't batted an eyelid! No 'oh my god did your dog just talk' or even an 'oh good lord I've finally gone mad', just acceptance, as if it were an everyday thing. Was it? Was I that tuned out? Or did she know more than she was letting on? I had always assumed that Iggy would talk it out with me before he told Alice everything. In fact, I had expected that conversation any day now. Had he decided he didn't need my consent? If so, how much did she know? I decided, in one of those clever, leadery types of decisions that I used to make all the time, that perhaps tonight wasn't the time to ask, but Ig and I were going to thrash this out as soon as he calmed down, if he ever calmed down.

_The truth be told, the truth be told  
I'm treading on my tippy toes, my tippy toes  
I'm painfully so worried about Ray_

Where was everyone? I just wanted to eat already.

"Fang is on his way, he's thinking about you. He thinks it's cute when you blush. Gazzy is finishing his homework but he's almost done and Nudge is on her date." Angel said.

"He thinks- HOLD ON! I didn't say Nudge could leave yet!" I shouted.

"Em . . . no I did." Fang said sheepishly from the doorway. "I'm sorry I didn't realize there was a hierarchal system for dating. Also, as Angel so kindly pointed out, I think it's cute when you blush, which I wouldn't even admit under torture but there's really no point in denying it now, thanks to our favorite little mind reader. There you go again." He smiled. "Adorable."

I blushed even harder if that was possible and he dropped a kiss on the top of my head and sat on my other side. There they were again, those two little words with so much meaning. I'm sorry. That was twice in one day. Angel smirked at me. Oh god, if only there was a way to stop the blood from reaching my face. I wished the floor would just open up and swallow me whole. Then Gazzy walked in and I was able to divert my attention elsewhere. He came in looking slightly more cheerful than earlier but it was a minimal change and really he looked about as happy as a drenched cat. Then he did a double take and my heart stopped as I came to the same realization as he had. Crud.

When we had moved into this house I had insisted upon a round table. It was one of the only things, other than the secret room that I had insisted on. Why? Because it allowed us to add or remove chairs as we saw fit. Why was that important? I couldn't have sat opposite Fang's empty chair for the rest of my life. It would have been the last straw. But, I also couldn't have not left room for him, because that would have been like admitting he would never come back. So I had ordered a specially made round table. It had solved all of our problems at the time. At least the one that had to do with the seating plan. Unfortunately tonight it was going to cause a problem. Because Nudge was out and Fang had taken Gazzy's place by my right side, Gazzy would have to take Nudge's place, beside Iggy. Not good, not good at all. He looked around in desperation and I wanted to put him out of his misery and offer to take his place but I couldn't do it without both embarrassing him and making the situation obvious to Iggy. Also I couldn't see Iggy being entirely thrilled with the idea of sitting next to me for the evening. So I sat tight and crossed my fingers as Gazzy reluctantly took his place. Then the food was passed out and dinner began.

_They say the future's out to get you  
You know that I won't let you fall  
They say the future's out to get you  
You know that I won't let you fall  
No!_

Everything was going vaguely smoothly and I was starting to relax when Iggy did the unthinkable. He asked the Gasman a direct question. The moment it had left his mouth I knew that this was going to get nasty and I would have done anything to stop the pain my brothers were about to inflict upon each other.

"Gazzy would you pass me the salt?"

The kid in front of me exploded. He jumped up from his seat and faced Iggy his usually sweet face contorted with his anguish. "Bite me." He snapped out and then he half stomped, half sprinted from the room. There was silence for a few seconds and I closed my eyes. I heard Angel start to sob quietly beside me and I put my hand gently on her shoulder to give her strength. Opening my eyes again I tried to gauge everyone elses reactions. Total had started eating again as if nothing had happened and Fang was looking at me as if to say 'explain please?' Alice looked both sad and slightly guilty and Iggy . . . looked shell-shocked. He was sitting completely still and looked as if he might be sick, but I didn't have time to deal with him right now. Gazzy was the most immediate problem so I gently stood up and left the room following my youngest sibling to offer whatever comfort or solace I could.

_They say the future's out to get you  
You know that I won't let you fall  
They say the future's out to get you  
You know that I won't let you fall_

I stepped into his room quietly and tiptoed to his desk. He was bent over several sheets of paper scribbling furiously, but he couldn't hide the wet splotches on the pages or cover the sound of his sniffling. I placed my hand tenderly on his shoulder and he shrugged it off.

"Honey, I know it hurts, believe me, I know." I said gently. "But you have to . . ." I bit my lip. "Sometimes you have to understand that the other person might not even realize they're hurting you."

He turned to me with tears in his eyes. "I know he doesn't realize," he whispered. "That's what hurts so much."

I felt a lump in my throat. This poor kid, this poor sweet kid, he had so many friends but he was still so lonely, even lonelier than his sister in some ways. I encircled his small trembling body with my arms and pulled him in for a hug. We both knew what it was like to lose the person closest to us. It was like losing a limb, you kept expecting it to grow back and every morning you woke up you forgot you'd even lost anything, and then it hit you, hard. Sometimes it got easier, sometimes it didn't, so what was I supposed to say, everything's going to be fine? I wasn't going to lie to him. I couldn't.

_The future's out to get you, the future's out to get you, oh  
The future's out to get you, the future's out to get you, oh_

"He never even mentioned my eyebrows." He whispered into my shoulder.

"Aw sweetie, he's blind, he doesn't get reminded of it constantly like everyone else."

"4 years ago he would have remembered." He said bitterly and I couldn't fault his logic.

I held him for a little while longer and then he pulled away and looked me in the eye.

"Do you know what hurts the most?" he asked.

I shook my head and he sighed.

"Not only did he stop being friends with me." He said slowly. "But he stoped being friends with me to be friends with Keith. He picked a son of a-" he stopped at the look on my face "ok a not very nice guy then, instead of me." He finished miserably.

I bit my lip again. It was becoming a bit of a habit.

"It's ok Max." he said. "I'll get over it, I like Alice so maybe I can hang around with them both when they're not being all mushy, but Keith . . . he was nasty Max. I'm glad you kicked the living sh-"

"GAZZY!" I shouted.

"Sorry." He grinned and I smiled back and tousled his blonde hair.

It was fixed for now, but I knew the problem was going to return, it was just a question of when. I needed to speak to Iggy about a lot of things now and it would have to be soon. I couldn't let Gazzy be tortured by Iggy's negligence anymore. It had already gone much too far. I was tired of worrying about my brothers and their strained relationship; it was time to sort this out.

_The truth be told, the truth be told  
I'm worried what the future holds, the future holds  
I'm so tired of being worried about Ray_

**The song is **_**Worried About Ray**_** by The Hoosiers. For anyone who cares. I will update as soon as I can, but it may not be very soon! So I apologize in advance. Hope you enjoyed this one. Cat**


	32. Thank You I Needed That!

**Ok, I apologise for not updating in a long time and if I've lost all my reviewers I totally deserve it. But, I do have 3 very good reasons:**

**1) I had lots and lots of homework and study to do**

**2) I was practicing almost every night for a panto I was in which made finishing 1 difficult**

**3) I had some serious writer's block and I kept putting off this chapter because I wasn't really sure how I wanted to play it.**

**So those are my reasons I think they're pretty good. So thank you for your patience. Enjoy this chapter.**

Max left the room after Gazzy and I still had no idea what had just happened. Angel was still sniffling but trying to hide it, so I took Max's seat and wrapped my arms around her. She clung to me and I could feel her tiny body shaking. I realised then just how fragile she really was. She was so like Max; strong on the outside, but crying on the inside and there for everyone but herself.

I opened my eyes and glanced at Iggy. He was still sitting completely stiff, blinking his eyes at nothing. I was wondering whether I should go to comfort him, when Alice managed to drag herself out of her silent reverie and turned to her boyfriend. I relaxed and started to focus on Angel but a movement caught the corner of my eye and I looked back at the couple. She had placed her hand cautiously on his shoulder and he had stiffened even further. I watched him shrug her off and saw the pain in her eyes as he stood up and tried to walk away. I was in front of him seconds later and he pulled up short. He glared at me and tried to walk past but I stepped closer to him and stood with my mouth close to his ear.

"Don't even think about it." I said softly. "Wait here till Max comes back."

"Get out of my way Fang." He growled. "I don't want to talk to you and I sure as hell don't want to talk to your stupid girlfriend!"

"Listen Ig," I said calmly straining to keep my anger from my voice. "I don't know what went down just now. I don't understand but I know you're upset. But is this all about Gazzy? Or does it have something to do with Keith?"

Iggy shoved against me and started to walk away and I grabbed him by the front of his shirt.

"You can't see my face." I hissed. "So you probably don't realise just how pissed I am with you right now! But I wouldn't push it if I were you. Max had a really good reason for what she did to Keith and you don't know it yet, but I promise you it's a good one. So stop acting like a four year old and grow up! Whatever's wrong with you and the Gasman, fix it, because you're hurting all of them as well! Now stand up and deal with your problems or I swear . . ."

I heard the kitchen door open behind me.

"Good. You're back; maybe you can talk some sense into our brother because he doesn't seem to want to listen to- NUDGE? What are you doing back already? Where's Mark?" I took in her dejected face and her tousled hair and clothing. "What happened?"

Nudge stood in the doorway in silence. Tears were streaking down her face and she looked lost, as if she wasn't sure what was happening, as if all her hopes and dreams had been crushed in one fell swoop. She managed to look me in the eye finally but quickly averted her chocolate gaze to the floor.

"Max, I need Max," she said quietly.

I frowned. "Max is with Gazzy, Nudge." I said softly. "But it's ok because I can help, with whatever the problem is."

I heard Angel gasp behind me and then she was running past me and was hugging Nudge tightly.

"I'm so sorry Nudge," she whispered. "He doesn't deserve you. He's- he's- Why are boys all so stupid!"

Nudge laughed bitterly and hugged her blonde confidante back, clinging to her like a drowning person. I heard Iggy slink off behind me to his room. I decided to leave him until I'd sorted out Nudge but we were going to have to talk soon. Alice started to clear the table and I silently thanked her.

"Angel why don't you help Alice and Nudge and I will go and talk." I said and Angel, nodding, let go of Nudge and went to run the hot water to wash the pots.

I took Nudge's hand and we walked into the living room together. I remembered years ago when Nudge and I had flown with the birds in Arizona. She had been my comfort although she hadn't known it at the time. Her constant monologues had allowed me to concentrate on something other then my worry for the rest of the flock. Gazzy and Iggy had been left at home in a potentially dangerous situation, the School had stolen Angel and Max was missing. That's stress right there. But I had the Nudge Channel to concentrate on so I didn't completely collapse. She had kept me sane. Since then I had been keeping special care of Nudge. I had a special affinity with her. Max had Angel, Iggy had Gazzy and I had Nudge. We complimented each other. I barely spoke and she talked non-stop. When the Flock had split all those years ago and she had chosen Max over me, it had hurt, a lot. I hadn't really considered it, but I had never thought I would split off from Max either and I had, twice actually now. But it was time for me to repay Nudge, time for me to comfort her when she needed me.

I closed the door and turned to her.

"Now," I started "What happened with Mark?"

She looked miserable and then she mumbled something and another tear escaped from her eye and made a break for her jaw line. I reached out and wiped it away.

"Nudge you need to speak a little louder, now just tell me what happened."

She bit her lip and then seemed to make a decision.

"It was fine until we got to the cinema." She started. "We were sitting in the back row and it was a movie I really wanted to see but when the lights went out he reached straight over and started kissing me. So I let him because it was kind of nice but then he was trying to put his hand up my top and I stopped him. But he kept trying and eventually I slapped him, because it wasn't just about how uncomfortable I was but what if he'd found my wings? So I slapped him and he said I was stuck up and he started yelling at me and everyone in the cinema turned around and stared at us. So I ran away and I came back here and- and- oh fang it was just so awful!"

I pulled her into a big hug and held her close while she cried into my shirt. This was becoming a habit, having pretty girls cry on my shoulder. I rubbed her back and dropped a light kiss on the top of her head. She pulled away slowly and smiled sadly at me.

"Thank you. I needed that." She whispered.

"There are awful people in this world." I said holding her shoulders. "They will put you down to make themselves feel better. You are a good person, but sometimes, bad things happen to good people. I think you could say that this family is a primary example of that theory. But we always pull through in the end, because we have each other. So chin up, because we have to learn from our mistakes."

She smiled again but this time it was cheerful.

"Who cares what they think?" She laughed. "My family loves me and that's all that matters!"

"Exactly." I grinned "And we love you so much that I have total permission to do this." I said and, grabbing her around the waist, I started tickling her.

"Ah- Fang- hahahah- STOP- Faaaang- Quit it! - Seriously- hahahaha- Come on! - hahahaha- you- haha- are- ha- sooo dead!" She twitched around and I sprinted out the door and into the kitchen where Alice and Angel were quietly cleaning up. When I burst in they stared at me and I grinned. I jumped over the table and turned to face Nudge.

She was yelling at me but her face was covered in a wide smile. I laughed and shifted myself into my invisible state. Angel laughed at Nudge's face and I turned and started to tickle her too. She wriggled around and then threw a huge clump of washing up bubbles at me. I spluttered and returned to normal and we all, even Alice, collapsed on the floor laughing.

My first tickle fight had been at ten years old, when Max, Iggy and I had been fighting over the remote control and I had discovered that none of my family could withstand a tickle attack. Since then we had used it as a last defence with each other and it was the ultimate method for getting Iggy to confess to his various pranks. We had had regular tickle fights until Jeb left. Then everything changed. Max became leader, I became silent and we all felt abandoned, no one was in the mood for tickling. I couldn't remember any fights since. I hadn't really thought about it until today, but I realised now that they were just what we needed.

As the four of us lay rolling on the floor with laughter, Max and Gazzy walked in the door. They're faces were a picture. We all ended up laughing even harder at their startled expressions. Max looked so adorable that I jumped off the floor and tickled her waist mercilessly while the other three girls jumped the Gasman. Max smacked me on the shoulder and I chuckled so she stuck her tongue out at me and tried to tickle me back, but I pulled her up and kissed her. That made her stop struggling. We had more washing up bubbles thrown at our heads and we pulled apart and ducked, laughing some more.

It was one of the best moments of my life. I forgot all my problems and just let myself go. I only felt one twinge of guilt. My brother was missing this and he needed it right now. I glanced at the door to his room at the far end of the kitchen. Max must have seen me, because she put her hand on my cheek and she smiled sadly.

"I'm going to go talk to him now," she said as we avoided another bubble attack. "Keep the others occupied? I need to talk with him alone for a while. This was the last straw."

I nodded and kissed her again. "Try not to hurt him." I joked.

She frowned. "I think I already have." And she left before I had a chance to ask why.

When she was gone I turned to my family.

"Alright gang! Let's get some music and get this kitchen cleaned and then we can continue this tickle war in the living room!"

They cheered and I relaxed. I hoped Max knew what she was doing, because I'd never seen Iggy so angry and we needed him. We needed all of us together to be whole and we didn't have very long left.

In Arizona, a small girl crept into a secret facility in Death Valley. She shivered when she entered the white hallways with the bright lights designed to keep her away. These people hated shadows. She found the room she was looking for and slipped inside quietly. Breathing a sigh of relief she started to search the dark room for a good place to hide. She was just questioning the merits of a space in one of the corners when the door opened and three loud men in white coats stomped noisily into the room. She slipped into the corner and stayed perfectly still. Although it was almost inconceivable that she would be caught. It helped to prevent detection if you didn't need to breathe and had little to no body density or heat.

The men talked loudly about their scientific successes to each other and the girl rolled her eyes at their own self-obsession. Finally they finished processing the pictures and, after hanging them up to dry, left, boisterously jostling each other in a manly way. She crept silently out of her hiding place and examined the pictures committing them to memory. Her suspicions had been correct. Here was one of Max and Fang in mid air over the house in Florida, there was one of Angel and the Gasman leaving school, next to it one of Nudge at the cinema with her friends, one of Iggy and Alice walking across their college campus hand in hand and another of the entire flock in the garden after the explosion yesterday. All of this confirmed her theory that they knew about the Flock's supposedly 'secret' home. Behind these were pictures of the Flock in New York and at the Martinez's home. In a separate box on the right were photographs of Fang at school, at the orphanage and on his own in the park nearby. They had been watching them all these years, waiting to build up again. They were preparing for Max's expiration date; it was all anyone in the building was thinking about. The School was back, and they were coming for the Flock.

**So there you go. Wanted to bring my secret character back to remind you she exists and there is a story line here. I'm not just making it up as I go along! Well . . . maybe a little. Anyway, sorry again for not updating in a while. I've been unavoidably busy. But the Panto is over so all is well! Now all I have to worry about is schoolwork so I should get back on track. Thanks for sticking with me and if you haven't then I don't blame you. Thanks Cat.**


	33. And You Haven't?

**Ok so you might or might not have noticed that I've stopped adding a disclaimer at the top of my stories because they take too much time so . . . yeah we'll see if there are any major repercussions. But basically in relation to this entire story that I am labouring over . . . I OWN NOTHING except for my various original characters and my strange and melodramatic plot. So that should cover me for the remainder of this story. On with the chapter. Also I love Iggy. Don't ever believe I don't love Iggy. But teenage angst is always good for a plot and the Flock has lots of teenagers. Enjoy!**

**Ps we're back to Max, do try to keep up!**

I knocked carefully on Iggy's bedroom door and prayed to some supreme deity that I would get an answer. I had decided to use the door in the hall as opposed to the one adjoining his room to the kitchen to give us some privacy. Fang seemed to think Iggy was really angry and believe me; I hadn't missed the glares that he'd been aiming at me all night. I waited for some kind of response from the boy who'd taken the brunt of the responsibility while I was . . . unwell. Silence. I bit my lip and considered knocking again, in case he hadn't heard me, when I heard a sigh from inside.

He'd heard.

I felt my hands curl into fists in my frustration. He was ignoring me. I lifted my hand to rap hard on the door to show I wasn't about to give up, when he called from inside.

"Come on in." He called and I reached for the handle. "Unless," I stopped, grimacing, "you're Max or Fang, in which case, kindly sod off."

I closed my eyes and counted to ten to try and stop myself from screaming at the unfairness of it all. I was not the bad guy here. So why was he treating me like one? It took me a minute to pull myself together but eventually I managed to open my eyes and knock on my brother's oak wood door again.

"Ig, we need to talk." I said just loud enough so that he could hear me.

"I don't want to talk to you!" he yelled back, "So just forget it and go play with Fang."

"Ig you're angry at me," I said calmly. "I understand and I'm willing to let you take it out on me, but Fang hasn't done anything wrong here, so please, leave him out of this."

He opened the door.

"What the hell do you want?" he growled.

"I want to talk to you."

"So talk already." He smirked.

"Alone Ig." I pleaded. "We can't have this conversation in the corridor."

"Fine," he growled. "I suppose you'd better come in then." He stepped out of the way and allowed me inside shutting the door after me.

"Now for God's sake, lecture me quickly and then get out. I'm tired."

"Alice is still here!" I frowned, did he really plan to go to bed and ignore her?

"Then you can tell her to go home." He said indifferently.

I couldn't help it, I let out a gasp, it just slipped out and I knew he heard it. He was besotted with Alice; he had never said anything so cruel about her before that I could ever remember.

"Is it just me?" I asked quietly. "Or are you angry at everyone? What has she done?"

"Look, don't lecture me about my relationship, just yell at me about whatever it was you came in here to yell at me about and then get out of my room, or even better get out now!"

"This is important Iggy," I pleaded trying to make him understand. "You hurt him today, you've been hurting him for too long. Maybe you didn't realise but you've hurt him, a lot." We both knew whom I was talking about of course. I didn't need to say who 'he' was.

"And you haven't?" he spat.

I felt the breath being knocked out of my chest. I looked away, anywhere but at him, my arms wrapped around my waist, hugging me trying to keep me standing upright. I felt the weight of all the responsibilities of my life crashing down on my shoulders and cascading over so they made my knees weak and compressed my heart so that it just stopped pumping. I felt the pain of my family over the years ricochet through my body ripping my soul to shreds. I realised at that moment that I didn't deserve a soul after what I'd done to them. For a short while I had thought perhaps I could be forgiven, but I knew now, I would never get a second chance. When I died, if there was an afterlife, I was going straight to Hell. I blinked away the threatening tears and stood up straight. I tightened my jaw the way I'd seen Fang do when he was trying to control his emotions, and I turned back to Iggy. I needed to fix this before I left. I could never be forgiven but I was going to try and make it up to them.

"We're not discussing what I did." I said coldly. "That is not a pressing issue at the moment. What matter's right now, is that you have reduced your youngest brother, and ex best friend to tears. You've ignored him and avoided him for too long. And today, when he found out what the person you chose over him was really like . . . well . . . you ripped his heart out with your negligence. I know what it's like to lose the person you need to keep going. It hurts more than anything. You were his person. But you left him behind."

"What was Keith really like Max?" Iggy yelled. "Why don't you fill me in, since I'm the only one who doesn't seem to already know?"

I halted. I really didn't want to talk about Keith yet, but I knew I would have to, to help the Gasman.

"Keith was a pervert." I said simply.

"Keith was my friend!"

"Why the hell do you think he's still alive?"

"How dare you I-"

"HE HIT ANGEL!"

Silence.

"He what?" Ig choked out.

"He hit your sister." I said quietly "Two of them."

"You?" he said hopelessly.

"Yes."

"But . . . why?"

"I really don't want to talk about it Iggy" I pleaded. "Just believe me when I say, he was a pervert and he deserved everything he got and more."

He turned away from me, swung out wildly and punched the wall.

"I'm sorry Ig." I said quietly and I was. I didn't want him to have to deal with this. It wasn't fair. He deserved so much better. They all did, except me. I deserved nothing.

"Max?" he asked after a while.

"I'm still here."

"I know. I just wanted to say I'm sorry, for earlier. You didn't do anything wrong."

"That's ok Ig. I'm here for you to vent on. Never fell like you have to keep it inside." I said smiling at him. He reached out and pulled me into a hug.

"Thanks big sis."

"You're always welcome." I smiled. "Now why don't you go out and spend some time with that girlfriend of yours. Which reminds me, exactly how much have you told her about us?"

He at least had the good graces to look embarrassed.

"That much eh? I suppose we'll just have to exterminate her now." I joked.

"Aw Fmax can't I just keep her?" he mock whined, "You let Angel keep the stupid talking dog."

"Actually," I corrected him laughing. "I believe Fnick was responsible for that particular mistake, so you can take it up with him."

He laughed.

"Why don't you go out and put forward your case?" I suggested. "They're having a tickle fight."

He lit up. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." I smiled.

He ran for the door. Then he turned to me frowning.

"Aren't you coming?"

"I'll be out in a while." I said. "Don't go out anywhere, I want to have a family meeting later."

"Right." He nodded and then he ran for the living room.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on breathing. After a few moments I made my way to my room. I could hear the screams of joy from the living room and I ached to join in, but something held me back, some perverse need to torture myself. I stepped into my room, locked all the doors, closed the curtains and flung myself onto the bed. I stared at the ceiling and tried not to think of Iggy's words.

_And you haven't?_

I felt the tears pricking at the corners of my eyes and I hated myself for them. When would the crying stop? Where had my old strength disappeared to? Why couldn't I just get through one day without feeling my emotions trickle down my face in a cascade of salty tears? What happened to the days when I could go months without shedding a tear? I moved and the scar on my back jarred. It still hurt after all this time. Maybe the pain would never go away. I stopped. That word, never, I was thinking in terms of never and ever. I only had a week and a half to live. Terms like never and ever no longer applied to me. I knew for a fact that this scar would not heal because it wouldn't have time. I knew for a fact that I would not absolve myself within a week and a half. I would never be forgiven. I didn't deserve to be. What I had done to my family was reprehensible, it was disgusting and it was despicable. It warranted an eternity in the darkest, deepest pit in the world. My actions and the regret I felt for them would be carried with me until the day that I died. At least I didn't have long to carry them. It would all be over soon. I stood up and went to join my family. The scar on my back seared as I stood, reminding me of my worst deed of all, my most violent suicide attempt. The day I almost died.

**So there you are. I write depressing stuff best. So I wrote some more. Anyway, I'm off to sleep and eat and all that jazz. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Cat**


	34. Bring It Blind Boy!

**Ok, in my head all the characters in this Fanfic have theme tunes. I realised today that I had subconsciously made Keith's _Stacey's Mom_. Sometimes I'm just so subconsciously clever. Not so much with the conscious smartness though. Anyway. On with the story I just felt the need to share that with someone.**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter. My updates will probably be confined to weekends from now on. Sorry. **

**Btw it's back to Fang.**

I stood next to Alice in the sitting room and watched the kid's attacking each other. The three adolescents were rolling on the floor tickling whatever they could get their hands on until they heard either a scream of mercy or a holler of 'uncle'. I watched Nudge catch Gazzy's foot and tickle it mercilessly until Angel took her out from the side by tickling her armpits. I couldn't help but smile at their strange antics. It was strange, all this smiling. It was so unlike me, so utterly not Fang.

I looked at the picture over the fireplace, I was smiling there too, but that had been before Jeb left, back when life was good and simple, before the real world made a rude return into our happy little sanctuary and crushed us. The day Jeb 'died' Max was distraught, so I kept myself together to help her with the Flock, but once she was back in control I shut down. I could still remember the day when I placed all my feelings and emotions into a corner of my mind and locked them away. I still felt them, I still knew they were there, but they couldn't affect me anymore. They couldn't hurt me anymore. At least that was what I'd thought.

When they took Angel, I was furious. That emotion broke through all my walls, my barriers, my mental blockades. Then when Max went missing I was filled with worry, another emotion escaped. When I was told my brothers were dead, I was distraught. When everyone came back I was happy. When Max kissed me, I was confused. Emotions were breaking out left, right and centre. I tried to clamp down on them, to push them back into my corner, but I was starting to realise that they were being led, by the most painful emotion of them all, love. It was huge and overwhelming and it crept up on me, until finally I couldn't deny it any longer, I was in love with Max. It was the emotion almost guaranteed to hurt me. So I left, so I would stop hurting her and she would stop hurting me. Once I was away from the flock I was able to control my emotions again, to contain them. All but a few, I could still feel the love, I could still feel the sadness and I could never shirk my overwhelming feeling of loneliness.

Now though, I was back, and my emotions were once again running riot. But what terrified me, the thought that left me feeling sick? Was maybe, subconsciously, I was smiling so much, because I had realised, this was my last chance. I had a week and a half to make up for all the smiles I had missed in my eighteen years of life, because in a week and a half I would smile for the last time. After she left my world, I was never going to smile again.

I saw the door inch open inaudibly and I watched as Iggy crept in silently to stand beside his girlfriend. He reached down and carefully put his hand in hers. "I'm sorry." I heard him whisper softly in her ear. She nodded and squeezed his hand smiling. Then Iggy turned to me and I tapped his shoulder to show that I was listening.

"I'm sorry Fang." He said. "I wasn't thinking. There was a lot on my mind and I know that's no excuse but . . ." he shrugged, "it's all I've got."

I put my hand on his shoulder. "Consider yourself forgiven" I said smiling.

He nodded and grinned.

"If you'll excuse me I have a little brother to tease mercilessly."

I nodded glad Max had knocked some sense into him, then realising stupidly that he couldn't see me I laughed to show my approval.

My blind brother then turned to our younger brother and called,

"Hey, Eyebrowless One, bet you can't tickle me!"

Gazzy turned and stared at him for a moment. Until a big smile slapped itself onto his face and he yelled back,

"Bring it, Blind Boy!"

I laughed as the two attacked each other and then I turned to watch the door, waiting for my wife's arrival. My wife, I definitely liked the sound of that. But, when after a few minutes she still hadn't arrived I frowned. Something was up. I left the room and walked into the hallway only to see Max at the other end. I smiled automatically, but it became a frown when I saw her face. She looked, desolate. It was actually a physical pain I felt to see her that unhappy. She still hadn't noticed me, so I took a heavy step forward and her head snapped up.

And suddenly the look on her face was gone, as if it had never been there. A smile covered her face and she practically ran down the hall to me, until her arms were wrapped around my waist and her head resting comfortably on my shoulder. It took me a moment to realise that she was hugging me, but eventually my arms came up and hugged her around the waist. She was breathing softly on my neck and my head moved of its own volition so that it was resting on hers. We stood there for a long time, just being together, taking time out for just us. Eventually though she pulled back and looked at me.

"Did Ig go back in?" She asked.

"Yeah. He apologised too. He's playing with Gazzy right now."

She smiled "Good."

"Nudge is back."

"Yeah? Already? How did it go?"

I sighed. "Not well. He tried to feel her up in the cinema and she was scared he'd find her wings, so she said no, but he made a big deal out of it and the whole cinema was watching, so she ran away."

"He what?" she hissed.

"I know. I think she's okay now though."

"Goddamn it!" she swore resting her head on my chest.

"What?" I asked "She's over it now although I wouldn't mind giving that little idiot a piece of my mind and maybe a black eye to go with it, but it's not that bad."

"You only _think_ she's over it, girl's are like that sometimes, but it will almost definitely put her off going on another date anytime soon and I wanted to see her happy, I wanted to see her growing up, before . . . before . . . she deserves to be happy Fang, after everything she's suffered she deserves to be happy." She leaned against me and I pulled her close. We both knew what she couldn't say, it was often all I could think about.

"She will be happy." I assured her. "She's even happy now. I won't let her be unhappy, even after . . . even when . . . She won't be unhappy. I'm going to take care of them."

She nodded and clung to me, she was shaking just a little. I hugged her tight and I felt her start to relax a little in my arms.

"They'll be fine." I whispered. "I'll look after them."

"And you Fang? Will you be fine?"

I tried to imagine what life would be like trying to live with myself for missing out on four years with her. I tried to imagine what life would be like knowing she was no longer in it, knowing that she was never coming back and I felt my gut twist.

"No" I choked out.

"But will you get better Fang?"

"I don't know."

"I'm sorry." She sounded so small, so afraid.

I pulled her back and stared at her. "This is not your fault. I won't be fine, but that's not your fault either, and I might not get better, but that is absolutely not your fault, do you hear me? You are not allowed to blame yourself. This is my fault and it always will be."

"But-"

"No buts. Just always remember I don't blame you for any of this. And promise me you won't blame yourself for my stupidity."

She stared at me and I shook her shoulders.

"Promise me." I said fiercely

She bit her lip.

"Please Max, promise me." I begged.

She nodded carefully and I leaned in and kissed her softly. She melted against me sighing and I massaged her lower back, carefully relaxing her muscles. Then I slowly pulled away and she sighed again.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"For what?"

"I needed that." She murmured.

I smiled and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

I watched what could only be described as a sunbeam light up her face. She was smiling on the inside as well as on the outside. And all I could think was I did that, I put that beautiful smile on her face and that I was the luckiest man in the universe.

"I love you." I said kissing her gently again.

"I love you too." She laughed, "Now come on, I have to call a family meeting." and with that, she grabbed my hand and dragged me into the family room.

**Ok I have to thank carolannelixabeth for reviewing EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER all in one day. Which I thought was very impressive and deserved some kind of recognition. I**** actually started writing this last weekend when suddenly we had a blackout. When the electricity came back the computer wouldn't turn on so it had to be taken away for repairs so I'm mega sorry for the wait and I apologise to tessthedragonfreak who was worried that I might have died. But I do have a contingency plan! In the case of my untimely death I have a friend who will attempt to continue this story: P So anyway thank you all and hope you enjoyed this chapter! Until next time! Cat**


	35. Disneyland?

**Ok, sorry I know it's been a long time but I had Christmas exams. I haven't read any e-mails since my exams started because otherwise I would have been too tempted to write more! So that's why I haven't responded to anyone either! Hope you enjoy this one. It should give you a rough idea of what I'll be doing for the next few chapters!**

I stood in front of my family and smiled. Angel looked curious and I knew she was confused by the general tumult and indecision in my mind, Nudge was unusually silent but she looked content and it allowed me to hope that she hadn't been irrevocably effected by today's little incident, the Gasman was grinning, his hair ruffled from tumbling around on the floor with his brother, Iggy had a hand on Gazzy's shoulder and an arm around Alice's waist, I smiled at this addition to my family, glad that at least one of them was settled and happy, finally I glanced at Fang, his arms were crossed and he was leaning against the wall, he looked curious but content to allow me to tell all in my own time. He nodded to me and I felt my lips twitch into a smile.

"Ok, I'm sure you're all wondering why I called you here." I started.

"Actually, technically, we were here first." Iggy put in helpfully.

"Thanks." I said sarcastically, "I'm so glad we got that minor detail sorted out in all of our minds. God knows what we'd do if we didn't have you oh blind one to crack a funny every ten minutes."

"Thank you," He bowed mockingly, "I thought it was one of my better moments."

"Anyway!" I interjected before anyone else could try their hand at the role of comedian. "I needed to talk to you guys about our plans for the next week or so."

They stared at me for a few seconds and then I saw the recognition dawn in their eyes.

"Max I-" Gazzy started at the same time as Nudge called out, "But Max-" and Iggy swore. I interrupted them all as I watched Alice look around her in confusion. Only Angel and Fang had stayed quiet, both aware that I had more to say.

"Alright, Alice I'm sorry this could get confusing from here on in depending on how much Ig has told you about us. I already know you know our real names and I assume you know about the . . . well . . . the wings." She nodded and I continued. "Well part of our uniqueness is that we get a 2 week warning before we're about to . . . well . . . kick the bucket." I heard Fang growl at my use of such a glib cliché but I couldn't bring myself to say the 'D word' right now.

"You mean-?" Alice gasped. "You're dying?"

I nodded and she stepped forward grabbing my hand.

"I'm sorry." She whispered softly.

I nodded tightly and she stepped back to Iggy, who pulled her into a sheltered hug.

"Ok, so I thought we should probably do something worthwhile for my last week yeah?" I tried to sound cheerful but I think my voice might have cracked just a bit too much.

The kids looked curious and Iggy was nodding, but Fang just stood there watching me, withholding both his approval and his reactions. I bit my lip and tried to ignore his silence.

"So I thought we could fly up to Mom's for Christmas this year and . . ." and suddenly it clicked, I knew how I could start to make it up to the kids, it would never fix everything but it would be something at least. "But first I thought we might go to a place we tried to go before, but which the School kind of screwed up for us. It's on our way, sort of, so what do you say we drop in and see your favourite mouse?"

"DISNEYLAND?!?!" Angel screamed. I watched this sink in on the faces of my family, pointedly ignoring Fang. Suddenly there were three sets of arms thrown around me and I was smothered in Flock. "Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!"

I looked up and caught Fang's eye. He was staring at me, his eyes slightly wider than usual; I could see the shock in his face that other people would miss. He raised an eyebrow and I shrugged, then he looked at me sternly and I mouthed, 'you gave them a stupid dog'. He grinned boyishly and nodded his head in acquiescence.

Iggy was still standing with his arms tight around Alice. He looked upset so I disengaged myself from our siblings and tapped him lightly to show my concern.

"Fly Max?" He asked nodding his head towards his wingless girlfriend.

"I 'm sorry Alice for taking him away, but if we don't fly we'll never make Mom's in time and I . . . I want to say goodbye." I felt my voice crack again and I tried to ignore it.

"Honestly Max." She said sadly "I understand. Can I talk to you alone for a second?"

I nodded and Iggy reluctantly let her go.

"Max," She said softly. "I . . . I know this will sound terribly callous and I know it's probably the last thing on your mind but . . . how long do I have?"

I frowned, "How long do you . . . ?

"With him." She murmured. "How long do I have with Iggy? Because I'm not stupid Max. If you're dying and I know you're not that much older than him, than it follows that either he or Fang is next, so how long do I have before I lose him?"

I closed my eyes so as not to see the fear in hers.

"F-fang has t-two months; Ig . . . Ig has s-six." I stuttered.

She gasped and I wished I hadn't had to say, that I hadn't had to tell her, that I could have said that Iggy had years to live instead of months.

I watched her trying to blink back her tears and I felt the punch in my gut at the thought of my family hobbling along in 6 months, full of grief and with only three of them left, knowing that at eighteen their lives would be over forever. I suddenly realised in horror that at sixteen my baby was going to be completely alone in the world. I stopped breathing, I just felt the air kick out of my lungs. I hadn't even thought about that yet. It had just never occured to me. My world was crumbling around me and I could feel myself slipping away into unconsciousness. Suddenly Alice's hand was gripping my arm. My eyes focused on her and I saw the tears in her eyes.

"Tell me it's more than 6 months please, even if it's only two extra months, he has to live for another 8 months please tell me there's a possibility you could have counted wrong, please! I don't want to lose him but if I have to I want him to see first. I want him to be there. I NEED him to be there!" She was starting to get hysterical and I felt myself reach for her shoulders.

"What?" I managed to ask, "What does he need to see? What does he need to be there for? Alice, what's wrong?"

"He needs to see our son." She whispered.

I shook my head and frowned.

"Max, I'm pregnant!"

I stared at her and suddenly I felt the world shift underneath me and I was hit by a wave of nausea. My head exploded in pain and I tried to scream but I was falling and my voice was long gone. I could feel my heart trying to beat but it was so hard. It was cold, so cold. I tired to shiver but I couldn't move and my mind was slowing. I felt his hands on my arms and then my face. Fang. I tried to force my heart to beat but it was slowing. I tried to scream. I tried to speak. I tried to move. I tried anything, but to no avail. I could feel myself slipping deeper into the darkness. Where was the light? Where was the light at then end of the dark tunnel? Did that mean I wasn't dying? I felt his lips on mine and I tried to respond but nothing was happening. Then there was a small girl standing in front of me.

Her face was grubby and her dress torn, her feet were bare and she looked harrowed and worried as if the world were on her tiny shoulders. But what really caught the eye and the thing that left me in awe was her hair. It flowed around her as if it were made of water and fire at the same time and the lightest blonde as if made from strands of the lightest silk. It gave her an ethereal quality that made her more fairy than street urchin. She smiled sadly at me and suddenly her voice was filling the air around me, chasing away the cold.

"I apologise Max, I wouldn't have tried to connect with you from so far away if it weren't so important."

I stared at her as her image flickered and wavered. Her voice was so sweet and lilting that I felt I could listen to it forever.

"I have to be fast, but know this-"she was cut off abruptly mid sentence and I was thrown back into the darkness, falling away from the world.

NO! I was not ready to leave.

I forced my heart to beat faster. I pushed my limbs to move and I felt air begin to suck back into my lungs. I heard Fang's voice close to my ear.

"I knew you could do it." He whispered softly. "I knew you wouldn't let go."

I smiled shakily. "Not when I know who was waiting for me here."

He stood up and lifted me from the floor.

"I think perhaps it's time we all went to bed." He said loudly and put out his hand clenched in a fist. I stacked mine on top and leaned against him. The others stacked their hands on top of ours and I was about to start tapping when I saw Alice standing next to Fang looking lost. I reached out my hand and put hers on top of our pile. Then I tapped them all, silently telling her that she was one of us. She nodded, smiling sadly despite the tears rolling quietly down her face. I closed my eyes, satisfied that I had done the right thing for once. I leaned heavily against Fang and he stroked my cheek carefully.

"I think I need to go to bed." I said softly and he nodded, dropping a kiss lightly on my head and leading me out to my room.

* * *

**AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION IN ARIZONA**

* * *

"You caught the girl?"

"Yes Sir."

"And where is she now?"

"The light room as you requested Sir."

"Good. You are dismissed."

"Thank you Sir."

The guard left the room and Dr. Washburn allowed himself a slight smile. He had succeeded where the others had failed. It was time to collect his reward. He dialled the number on his office phone and waited patiently to the dial tone. He smiled cruelly when the phone was picked up and a familiar voice gave a harsh greeting.

"Hello Director."

**Ok, so there you are. Surprised? I'm not but I suppose I wrote it. All shall be explained in due course, but for now I think I shall leave you in a sort of delicious suspense. BTW, I hadn't originally planned for Alice to be pregnant but she was talking and I realised that I wanted her to be, not only would it add to the story but I think someone in this story deserves some sort of child. So there you are hope you enjoyed it. I plan to update soon, so do not fret! Thanks for the support! Cat**


	36. With You, It's Never Nothing!

**Yay Christmas Holidays! FINALLY!**

**I won't be writing the week of New Year's because I will be in France SKIING! WOO!**

**Just to give you a heads up. But I am going to try and update as much as possible this week, so that will make up for it, I hope. Hope you enjoy this one.**

**We're back to Fang again, btw.**

As soon as we were out of earshot of the others I leaned down to Max's ear.

"Are you ok?" I could feel her leaning against me despite her efforts to force herself to stand up.

She shrugged and winced a little at the movement.

"I'll live." She said offhandedly and we both ground to a sudden halt. We stared at each other, both thinking the same thing, _For Now._

After a moment she smiled sadly and I felt her sag a little.

"Come on; let's get you into the bedroom." I said, walking her carefully in the door and depositing her lightly on the bed. She sat on the edge of the double bed and closed her eyes. I bent down in front of her and started to untie her runners.

"Fang," she laughed. "I _can_ take off my own shoes. I'm not _that_ far gone."

"Oh really?" I teased, lifting my head to cock an eyebrow at her in one of my well-known don't-try-to-fool-me-I-know-everything looks. "So was it just me? Or did you agree to take the Flock to the happiest place on earth?"

"You must be hearing things," she laughed again. "I believe I promised to take them to Disneyland, which is not the happiest place on earth, although it may be the most crowded!"

"So why are we going?" I pointed out mercilessly.

"Well the kids want to and I . . . I figure I owe them." She bit her lip and stared at the jet black carpet.

"Max." I gently lifted her chin with my right hand and forced her to meet my gaze. "You have little over a week before you run out of time. We'd be going to a place that's crowded off-season, never mind the week around Christmas! You hate crowds! Why aren't we going somewhere _you_ want to go?"

"Because there isn't really anywhere I want to go." She blinked. "Of course I want to see Mom, Ella and Jeb and say goodbye, but . . . other than that . . . there's nowhere I would rather be than with you and the Flock."

I thought about what she'd said for a moment before it came to me.

"What about home?" I asked quietly.

"Home?" She repeated sadly. "Where's home? I can't call this home. And being with Mom is nice but it's not home. We don't have a home."

"Colorado was home." I murmured. She stopped for a second and tilted her head on its side, a small frown creasing her forehead.

"Colorado was blown to pieces." She said finally.

"No, that's what they told us happened." I reminded her. "But how do we know it's the truth? _They_ told us that. They've lied to us before."

"Do you really think?" She asked; her eyes wide at the thought of a final return to the place we had all once called home.

"I'm not sure." I cautioned. "I mean, I could be wrong, but think about it. Anyway, even if the house is gone, there are a couple of things that must still be there; a certain cave for example."

"And the sunset would be the same." She practically whispered, the sweetest smile lighting up her face.

"Yes." She said after moment's pause.

"Yes?"

"Yes," She smiled. "I'd like to see it again." I smiled and pulled off her left shoe.

"Fang!" She admonished me. "I don't need you to take off my shoes! I'm perfectly capable of removing my own footwear, thank you very much."

I grinned, tickling her foot and removed her sock. She laughed and made a pathetic attempt to push me away. I smirked at her and reached for her other shoe when she suddenly gasped and grabbed the back of my head.

"What?" I asked quickly. I felt her hands shaking and fear swept through me. "Do I-?"

"NO . . . no . . . you don't . . . I . . . I just thought." She tailed off. "Your hair is so black and it looked like . . . just for a second . . . I thought I could see numbers."

I reached my hands up and grabbed hers, they were shaking uncontrollably.

"Max," I whispered. "It's alright. There isn't anything there."

"Not yet, but soon . . . soon . . . if it was just me, than maybe . . . maybe this wouldn't be so bad, but it's not just me is it? It's you and me and Iggy. Fang within six months we'll all be gone and who's going to look after Nudge, Gazzy and Angel? Who's going to look after Alice and Iggy's son? And when Nudge is eighteen and she leaves Gazzy and Alice to fend for themselves and joins us for her eternal dirt nap! What then? Where do they go? Even worse what happens when Gazzy turns eighteen and Angel is the only one left? What happens when she's the only avian hybrid left on this earth?"

"Max!"

She looked at me, her dark eyes wild, tears threatening to spill down her face and her stance distorted with grief.

"Stop." I said. "Just stop."

She bowed her head and breathed in deep.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "It's just-"

"I know." I took her hands in mine and leaned my forehead against hers. "But you can't let yourself think about it. You already carry too much on your shoulders."

"I've failed them Fang." She muttered. "I've failed them."

"No." I shook my head. "No never say that. You have done nothing wrong."

"You don't know that." She cried. "You have no idea what I've done!"

She pushed me away and stood up. I saw her wince and suddenly her legs buckled from beneath her. I lunged and caught her just before she would have hit the floor.

"Is there much point in asking you nicely to stop doing that?" I asked.

A small smile crept onto her face and suddenly she was kissing me. It took me a second to switch gear but once I had I threw myself into it.

She reached for my shirt and I paused for a few seconds, but then it was gone and I was left wondering what was happening. How had we gotten here?

I placed my hand under her back and she gasped in pain. I froze.

"Max I-?"

"No, keep going." She ground out.

"But Max-"

"No. I told Angel-" Her breath caught. "Oh Good Lord! Angel! She can't see . . . we can't do this!"

"That's not the only reason we can't do this Max." I hissed. "What is wrong with your back?"

She balked. "Nothing I-"

"With you," I snarled; turning her over. "It's never _nothing_."

"Fang-" She whimpered

"Max, for once in your life don't fight me." I pleaded. I reached under her shirt and lifted it slightly, I felt her entire body tense and my stomach flipped. What was it she didn't want me to see? Then I saw it.

It started on the left bottom hand corner of her back, just on the rim of her jeans, and it travelled diagonally up her back in three twisting lines. The first took a sharp turn at her wings and twisted up along her ribcage towards her shoulder where it curled into a twisted red ball. The second came to the same junction as the first but then continued along her right wing leaving jagged marks in its wake. I remembered seeing this scar the day before when we'd gone flying.

_**Flashback**_

_Max pulled me __out of the back door and into the garden. She did a 360 checking for witnesses, then unfurled her wings. I gasped and she winced. I caught a glimpse of a scar streaking along her right wing before she turned to face me. _

"_How?" I__ asked. _

_She__ shrugged. "I slipped." I knew she was lying but had hoped I wouldn't notice. I wanted an explanation. I frowned for a few seconds, studying her face, and I was about to say something, to ask for the real story, but then I shrugged. It could wait. We had forever together now that I was back._

"_Ouch." I__ said._

"_Yeah," She__ grimaced. "I was just lucky Angel was there."_

_**End Flashback**_

She hadn't slipped, I knew that much, but what did Angel have to do with it? I traced the third scar with my fingers. It travelled to the same junction as the other three and then it continued almost exactly along her spine, ending just under the curl at the end of the first. Just from looking at the scars I could see she shouldn't have survived, that the damage to her spine should have killed her. So how had she endured? I could feel her tension, as she held back the small cries of pain that were threatening to slip from her overexerted body. I could sense her trepidation of what my reaction would be to her biggest secret so far. I closed my eyes and sighed, wondering if I would ever know all of her secrets.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered, her body trembling slightly.

I pulled down the back of her shirt and heaved her up into a sitting position. Standing up, I walked to her window.

"Fang?" She asked carefully.

I ignored her, keeping my back to her. I needed to think. I reached for the latch on her window and began to haul it open.

"Fang wait!" She cried. "Please . . . we need to talk."

**A SMALL BASE SOMEWHERE NEAR DUBLIN****, TEXAS**

"Alright Hartman, there's a lot of work gone into this, so don't you dare screw it up!"

"Don't you worry Sir. I've been practicing a long time."

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear m'boy."

The young man stepped into the thin tube in the middle of the room and slid the door shut behind him. He nodded to the superior officer, who sealed the door and pressed the button that began the experiment. Hartman smiled and closed his eyes, preparing to become the first man ever to be teleported. Suddenly he felt an excruciating pain in his right leg, he bit his lip, assuming it was part of the experiment, it made sense that he should be suffering a little bit of pain, after all, his molecules were being separated and rearranged in another space in time. His left leg was searing now and he couldn't hold back the scream that burst from him. His fists were clenched tightly and he was sweating and trembling. He stared down at his legs, they weren't disappearing. In fact, they were bending and cracking, as if every bone in his body was breaking, it was unbearable. He glanced at the people around him and tried to call out to them. He started to bang his hands on the glass when his torso began to crumple in on itself, bursting his organs and leaving him gasping for breath. He couldn't scream anymore, his lungs were gone, why hadn't someone stopped the experiment? Why hadn't someone turned off the machines? Why were they all nodding and smiling as he writhed in pain on the floor of his tube? He began to black out and he welcomed the dulling of the pain. A picture of his brother, David, floated before him in his mind. He hadn't seen him in 2 years because he'd been too busy. He reached out for him and then, he felt himself die.

The Director watched the experiment from her office as the cranium finally shattered splattering the young man's brains against the sides of the tube. She picked up the phone and dialled the Texas base.

"Perfect." She said simply. "I want copies for every base in America by the 24th and one on every other continent by the 25th. We don't have long, so do _not _disappoint me. I want to be prepared no matter where we apprehend her."

The officer in Texas made clear his understanding and she returned the phone to its receiver. She turned to the small girl in the luminous glass cage beside her. The girl was staring at the woman in disgust.

"Someday," the Director enunciated, "You will understand what it is to be incredibly powerful and incredibly good at your job. Because I'm not going to kill you mercilessly, I'm going to let you take over my job for a day." She laughed evilly. "A clue? NO!"

**Sorry for taking so long. Merry Christmas, to all who celebrate it. I'm an atheist, so I only celebrate because my family does, but just thought I'd wish it to you all anyway! Thanks for reading today's exciting instalment! Cat**


	37. What I've Done

**Ok I'm terribly sorry. There are hundred of reasons for why I haven't updated and I'm not going to list them but just know that they're good and that I'm sorry. I've written this one as another songfic because I think this is a great song and it fit sort of nicely. Thanks for your patience this is **_**"What I've Done" by Linkin Park **_**for anyone that cares. This is Max again.**

I was in intense pain. I was shaking, my blood was pulsing through my body at an insane speed and my back was on fire. But that wasn't what hurt. It was the constricting pain around my chest. My heart was screaming at me to face up to myself. To finally own up to what I'd done. Behind me I knew Fang was about to leave. I didn't even know if I could stop him anymore, but I had to try. Even if he left anyway, I would know I had done everything in my power to make him stay. This was my fault but maybe I could still fix it. I reached deep inside myself and called out to him.  
"Fang wait, please . . . we need to talk."

He stopped wrestling with the window and I heard him sigh heavily.

"Max . . ." He sounded tired, so tired "I don't know if I can talk anymore."

Those words stabbed into me. He couldn't have hurt me more if he had beaten me within an inch of my life. I could hear the regret in his voice. I began to realise that I might not be able to fix this. This could be goodbye.

_In this farewell  
There's no blood  
There's no alibi_

I took a deep breath and stared at the wall. I could hear him behind me, opening the window. I closed my eyes and tried not to move. There was nothing I could do anymore. I could feel him slipping away. He probably didn't even care how it had happened. That wasn't why he was so angry. Even I knew that. It was because I'd kept it from him, just like everything else. I just couldn't tell him, I couldn't see the pain on his face when he found out what I'd done. He hadn't needed to know, it was in the past, it would only have hurt him. So I had protected him. But maybe I had been wrong. Why was everything I did wrong?

I heard the window slide open and I winced at the sound. I felt my right hand tighten around something soft and warm and I looked down. I was still holding his shirt. For a moment, I could do nothing but stare at it. Then I felt the anger at my own stupidity well up inside of me and I turned and hurled it across the room. It hit him in the back and I saw him flinch. I felt the scars on my back screaming at me and my whole body shuddered as I pulled myself back behind the bed. I returned to where he'd left me; my back leaning against the bed and my legs braced against the wall. I heard him turn slowly to reclaim his shirt and a single tear slid down my face. Regret seeped through me, for everything I'd done to him, to them. I was a monster.

_'Cause I've drawn regret  
From the truth  
Of a thousand lies_

I reminded myself that I deserved this. Why had I expected a happy ending? Why had I allowed myself to hope? Why did this have to hurt him too? I could understand that I deserved this pain, this agony, but why Fang? Why should he suffer? I would have given anything to take away his pain. Maybe if I just explained what had happened? Would that make it worse? What had I left to lose? I opened my mouth to start and I heard the window slide closed. My mouth hung open with the unspoken words. It was over. I had lost my chance. He was gone, again. My eyes slid closed and I dropped my head into my hands. A sob escaped my lips and then I let go of all of the tears I had been trying to hold back. I had really hurt him. I prayed to the God I wasn't sure existed to help him, to stop his pain. I wanted him to be happy. Maybe something could make him forget everything I'd done and only remember the Flock. It hurt but I asked this God to make him forget me. I'd be gone soon and then he could come back to them and he'd never know this pain. I hoped this God could wash away his pain in the way I couldn't.

_So let mercy come  
And wash away  
What I've done_

I thought of the person I was and the person I'd become. I didn't like me anymore. All I did anymore was hurt the people I loved by keeping secrets from them. Every time I tried to protect them I hurt them. It was best that I'd be gone soon. Maybe then they could forget about me and get on with their lives. If only there were a way to let them all forget about me now. If I could go back and stop myself from ever having existed would they be better off? I supposed I'd never know.

_I'll face myself  
To cross out what I've become  
Erase myself  
And let go of what I've done_

A noise behind me stopped my thoughts. I lifted my head from my hands and saw Fang kneeling down beside me. I stared at him in confusion and he smiled slightly.

"I couldn't leave." He said simply. "I need you and you need me and they need both of us."

I continued to stare at him and he sighed.

"I hate that I do this to you." He reached out and touched the tear streaks on my cheek.

"Not you," I shook my head. "Me. I do this to myself. I hurt you, I lie to you and I keep secrets from you. I do this to myself."

"Max," he put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. "Why do you lie to me? Why do you keep secrets?"

"To protect you." I whispered.

"From what?" He asked quietly.

"From my mistakes, from the pain."

"Max, where did those scars come from?"

I took a deep breath and looked up at him. I saw my best friend, the person I loved and trusted above all others and even though I wanted to save him from the pain, I knew it was time to tell him the truth.

"I did something," I said uncertainly, "Something stupid."

He watched me carefully and nodded slightly for me to continue.

"It was the first Christmas after you . . ." I trailed off, unable to say it.

He winced and pulled me slightly closer. I bit my lip but knew I had to continue.

_Put to rest  
What you thought of me  
While I clean this slate  
With the hands of uncertainty_

"We went to my mom's and she cooked us a big dinner and we were all sitting there and suddenly Ella said how nice it was that we could all finally be together as a family at Christmas. It wasn't her fault, she couldn't possibly have realised what she was saying, but we weren't all together. We were missing one, an important one and it was such a fresh pain, it had been so recent that I snapped. I ran outside and flew. I didn't even check to see if anyone was around I just . . . flung myself into the sky."

I paused and looked at him. His face was closed, his jaw tight, I could see him hiding the pain but I could read it in his face as easily as if he had told me himself.

"Do you really want to hear the rest?" I asked quietly.

He glanced at me and nodded tightly. I swallowed and continued my story.

_So let mercy come  
And wash away  
What I've done_

"I got so high, and I didn't really know what I was going to do, I was just so upset and angry. When I lost all will to continue beating my wings. I just . . . didn't see the point in trying anymore. I felt like I was fighting to stay afloat when all I really wanted to do was sink. So I just stopped."

His arms tensed around me and I wished I could go back and stop myself from doing what I'd done, if only to stop his pain. I stopped talking and leaned my head against his shoulder. We sat there for a moment before he spoke.

"What happened?" It was as if the question had been ripped out of him unwillingly, but there it was, and it needed to be answered,

I closed my eyes remembering the sensation of falling through the air, knowing that any moment I would hit the ground and it would all be over. I shuddered and started to explain how I had survived the freefall that should have killed me.

_I'll face myself  
To cross out what I've become  
Erase myself  
And let go of what I've done_

"I had expected to hit the ground, but I hadn't been watching the landscape. I had ended up over the houses again. I saw them at the last moment and tried to pull out. I didn't want to hit someone's home; they might discover the Flock if they found a dead mutant's body on their roof, or even, at the speed I was going, in their living room. So I tried to pull up, but I wasn't fast enough. I ended up hitting a weather vane on one of the roofs. I caught one wing in it and twisted it up in the points. That's why there are three different scars. I would have died then if Angel hadn't followed me. She saved me. She even dragged me home. And Iggy and Mom saved my life between them. I was lucky, you could say. Or maybe I was unlucky. I never could decide." I pulled away from him and sighed. "I'll understand if you hate me now. I already do."

_For what I've done  
I start again  
And whatever pain may come  
Today this ends  
I'm forgiving what I've done!_

I expected him to leave. I expected him to yell at me. I expected him to hate me. I expected a lot of things. I didn't expect what happened next.

"I'm so sorry." He choked.

I turned to stare at him. Why was he apologising?

"If I had never left, this would never have happened." He spat. "I-"

"Stop." I whispered.

He looked at me.

"I never blamed you for any of this." I whispered.

"I never blamed you." He replied softly.

I stared at him. We'd been blaming ourselves for everything and thinking the other person hated us for all those things we'd done out of desperation. There were so many other things to be sad about that we didn't need to heap unnecessary blame on ourselves as well. I realised that we needed to forgive each other and ourselves and let go of the past. I felt a smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. I reached out for Fang and placed my hand carefully on his cheek. His hand flew up to cover mine and I smiled.

"Can we forgive ourselves for things we can't change?" I asked.

"I'll always regret that I missed all that time with you." He said softly. "And that I drove you to that." He placed a hand lightly on my back and I winced. His jaw tightened again and I moved my hand to his mouth, stopping him from speaking.

"Let it go Fang," I begged. "Please."

I watched him wrestle with his emotions and I waited.

After a moment he nodded and I relaxed into a smile. His returning smile was blinding and he pulled me closer again.

_I'll face myself  
To cross out what I've become  
Erase myself  
And let go of what I've done_

We sat there for a long time until we heard the clock in the hall chime midnight. He moved to stand and I reached out for him.

"Don't go."

He pulled me up carefully and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I have to go, you need sleep." He said smiling slightly.

"Couldn't you sleep here?" I asked cautiously.

He stilled. "Do you really want me to?" He asked softly.

I nodded, "Yes, always."

He smiled and leaned his forehead against mine. "Alright, but just to sleep. You've had a heck of a day."

I nodded and he picked me up gently and placed me lightly under the covers of my bed. Then he kicked off his shoes and climbed in beside me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I fell asleep finally with his breath blowing lightly against my cheek.

_What I've done  
Forgiving what I've done_

**So there it is. I hope you liked it. I know it's not that long but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. I know I did. YAY FAX! SO here's hoping I haven't lost all my reviewers, which I know I would deserve, but I still really wouldn't like it. I'll try to update as soon as possible. Thanks for your patience. Cat**


	38. I Love You But You Snore

**Ok, Hi again. This is me updating pretty early for me these days so joyness: D (yes I am fully aware that that is not a word however it makes me happy!) **

**So here I am in Fang's POV. This is the chapter that many of you have been asking me for (that means you O' Future Ruler Maria Larry, you've been baying for poor Fnick's blood for quite some time!). So here is a new chapter in what I like to call Part 4 of this story.**

**Part 1 – Chapters 1-7 (Fang leaves)**

**Part 2 – Chapters 8-24 (Fang comes back)**

**Part 3 – Chapters 25-37 (Max and Fang regain trust, etc.)**

**That's sort of the gist of the story so far right? Which makes it seem a little sad but I have lots planned. This story might just be the death of me but we'll see.**

**Anyway I'm going to stop rambling (sorry) and start writing.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

I woke up in a dark room and immediately sat up trying to take in my surroundings at the same time as I leapt from the bed. It took me a few moments to remember where I was but as soon as I did I calmed down. I turned to the bed sheepishly; sure Max would burst out laughing any second now at my idiocy, but to my surprise, she wasn't there. I frowned and reached for a small piece of paper lying in the indent on the pillow where her head had been last night. With trepidation I unfolded the badly folded sheet and stared at the messy scrawl. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, which became a self-depreciating laugh. I had been terrified that she would have run out on me as I had done to her, leaving a note just like mine. Instead, there had been a simple note:

_Fang,_

_Have gone to work off some frustration._

_Will be back later._

_M._

_p.s. I love you . . . But you snore._

I felt a smile creep over my face and I folded up the note, slipping it into my pocket. Then I looked down at my clothes. They were crumpled from spending the night in them, so I strolled over to my room and changed, carefully placing the note into my new pocket. I realised that I was vigilantly storing it for later as a reminder of the good times, but I decided to put that thought away as well and just live in the now.

I was getting hungry and since Max probably wouldn't be back for a while I decided to mosey on down to the kitchen and see if I couldn't rustle up something edible. The house seemed quiet and I assumed the kids had gone to school, so I was pleasantly surprised to encounter Iggy in the kitchen already serving up a massive heart-attack inducing breakfast of 2 packets worth of _eggo_ pancakes with _eggo_ syrup, one pack of cookie crisp filled with milk, 3 boiled eggs, one bowl of scrambled and a plate heaped with bacon and sausages. I hadn't seen anything so appetising in a long time and I sidled up to him, tapping him on the shoulder carefully.

"Yes I made some for you too." He sighed, smiling indulgently at me as if I were a five year old and pointing to the counter where a similar meal was sitting steaming away.

Any other day I might have socked him one, but I was in a good mood and he had just cooked me up a killer breakfast, so I just carried it all to the table, pulled up a chair and started to scarf it down.

"You're Welcome." He murmured sarcastically and I laughed between bites.

"Ig," I said between stuffing my face with forkfuls of egg. "What on earth would I do without you?"

"Starve presumably," He drawled, lifting a blueberry pancake to his mouth.

I chuckled and we finished our meal in relative silence, if you're excluding the munching, chewing, slurping and other general sounds associated with the consumption of good food.

Afterwards I offered to help with the washing and I questioned him on his girlfriend Alice. He was obviously besotted with her and we were talking about her love of children and her dreams of being a teacher when I suddenly had a flashback to the previous night. Hadn't Max said something about Iggy's son? I hadn't been paying a lot of attention at the time as I'd been a little more concerned with Max herself, but now that I thought of it I was sure she had. Was that what Alice had said to her yesterday just before she fainted? If so, did Iggy know? How far ahead was Alice?

I glanced at Iggy and figured he must be ignorant because he was blithely chattering away about how he met Alice and their first date. I bit my lip and said nothing, but I wanted to see Max to make sure I hadn't gotten the wrong end of the stick. I kept hoping I was wrong, but I couldn't help but wonder if a part of that was from jealousy. I couldn't quite comprehend that Iggy might have . . . well . . . been there . . . to be crude, before me. I knew it was big headed of me but I had always sort of assumed . . . since I was older . . . and I was well . . . I stopped that thought process where it was. I was a seventeen, soon to be eighteen, year old boy; thoughts like these weren't unusual, but still. It suddenly occurred to me that there were other, more life changing repercussions of this particular situation. The most important to me being, that with less than 2 weeks before Max's expiration date, we could never have children. It came as an unexpected blow. I suppose I'd never really thought about having kids, in the way that you sort of expect it to happen at some point in the future but for now you're content to just grow up yourself first. But now that I knew I would never have any kids, that there would never be a tiny version of Max for me to look after and teach how to fly and . . . and all the other things a parent does, I felt a little emptier inside, as if someone had scooped a dream from my soul, a dream I hadn't even known I had.

I stood next to the sink, staring out the window, absentmindedly rubbing a threadbare towel against a large frying pan and thought about my future, as it would have been if I had had the choice. I could see myself in a home high in the mountains, surrounded by open fields and beyond that a thick forest, where no one could get to us. There would be a porch and a rocking horse and all the things we should have had as kids. And there would be me and Max and our beautiful children and the Flock of course. And the girls would look like Max and the boys would look something like me and every Friday we'd go for a long flight and we'd play tag and we'd laugh and smile and we'd be happy.

I was so lost in this dream future that I jumped when Iggy tapped me on the shoulder.

"Uh, Fang," he said. "The objective is to dry the pan, not to bend it out of all recognition."

I stared down at the pan in my hand and saw that in my daydreaming, I had managed to bend it over double.

"I'm sorry Ig, I was just . . . wishing." I finished miserably.

"Aren't we all?" He smiled sadly.

I shook my head. "But wishing's never going to do us any good."

"Maybe you're right, but it won't make me stop."

"Ig . . . do you . . . would you know where Max would go to 'work off frustration'?

"Yeah, the sparring room." He gestured to his room and we stepped through it into the hallway. He walked to the end of the hall and stopped at the wall on the end. We stood staring at it for a second and I waited patiently for him to lead me to this room but we stayed staring at this wall. Eventually I had to say something.

"Iggy, why are we staring at a wall?"

"I'm not staring at a wall, you are." He said simply.

"Oh ha ha, you're hilarious did you know that?" I asked sarcastically

"I do try."

We waited for a few more moments and I rolled my eyes.

"Ok Ig I'll bite, why am _I_ staring at a wall?"

He grinned. "I thought you'd never ask."

I watched him reach out and flip a switch hidden behind a lamp and suddenly the wall slid back and to the side.

"Up the stairs and through the door. You literally can't miss it. Seriously there are no other doors." He chuckled and headed back into his room.

I shook my head and stepped through the secret door. It slid shut behind me and a light above me flickered on. I climbed up the stairs and came to a heavy, soundproof door. Carefully easing the door open I peered inside and saw Max, smashing punches into a bag. I crept silently into the room and shut the door noiselessly behind me. She was breathing heavily, her face a mask of concentration. I watched silently as she went through a complicated sequence of combinations. Her hook kicks and reverse punches landing with precision and power. I leaned back against the doorframe to watch her and she caught me out of the corner of her eye. Her guard dropped and her stance relaxed and she looked at me with a sweet smile on her face.

"How many times have I told you not to do that?" She asked.

"What?" I joked. "Breathe?" our oldest rapport slipping out with ease.

She laughed and I soaked in the sound gladly.

"By the way," I chuckled. "I do not snore."

"Want to bet?" She grinned.

"Depends. What do I win?"

"Hmmmm." She cocked her head to the side and switched her weight to her right hip. "A kiss."

"From you?"

"Who else?"

"Just checking." I said. "Although, only you can prove I snore and that could take a while."

"So?" She smirked. "What's the problem with that?"

"I want that kiss now." I replied.

She laughed and sprang into a sparring position.

"So fight me for it."

I looked at her quizzically and she laughed again.

"What do _you_ get if you win?" I asked cautiously.

"The satisfaction of kicking your ass." She smirked.

She jumped forward smartly and landed a light roundhouse kick on my lower leg.

"C'mon, hop to it!" She remonstrated.

"I haven't even warmed up." I called as she hopped backwards lithely.

"Do you want the kiss or not?" She asked coyly and I sprang into action.

* * *

**You'll have to wait for next times EXCITING episode, to find out what happens next. This was sort of a filler chapter. Sort of, but not quite, because we got to see a side of Fang we hadn't really seen yet in this story I think. So I'm pretty happy with it, the question is are you? Thanks to all of you to sticking with me. I'll update as soon as possible. Cat**


	39. I Shouldn't Hit A Lady

Ok, so the new Max Ride book is out in America

**Ok, so what did you guys think of the new book? I'd like some other peoples opinions on it, but PM me don't mention it in your review because we can't spoil it for others. **** Anyway I had a really nice review for my oneshot You Could Be Happy. Apparently I sort of helped someone appreciate the song more which makes me glad because I think it's a beautiful song. So on with the story and sorry it took so long but my exams are coming up and I was away all Easter so I haven't had any free time. **

_**Flashback**_

_I laughed and sprang into a sparring position._

"_So fight me for it."_

_He looked at me quizzically and I laughed again._

"_What do __you__ get if you win?" He asked cautiously._

"_The satisfaction of kicking your ass." I smirked._

_I jumped forward smartly and landed a light roundhouse kick on his lower leg._

"_C'mon, hop to it!" I barked._

"_I haven't even warmed up." He called as I hopped backwards._

"_Do you want the kiss or not?" I asked coyly and he sprang into action._

_**Flashback ends**_

I pulled back as Fang used a blitz footwork technique to try and catch me off guard, but as he thrust out with his back fist I grabbed his arm tightly and twisted him onto the ground. He stared at me for a second from the floor as I smiled down at him triumphantly.

Suddenly my legs were swept out from under me and I was sitting on the floor staring at the, now standing, Fang. He smirked. I hoisted myself up, sweeping my leg underneath me and standing upright in my defensive position. All this was done in one fluid movement and I caught a look of admiration on Fang's face before my leg connected with his side. He winced and then shook his head as I bounced back from him, preparing for his reaction.

"I'm not going to hit you Max." He said instead.

I blinked.

"What?"

"I won't hit you."

"Why the heck not?" I paused, confused.

"Because . . . I love you and . . ." He grinned. "I shouldn't hit a lady."

A thrill went through me at his small confession, but his second statement sent an odd mix of frustration and flattery fluttering down to my stomach. I felt my eyes narrow.

"Oh you better hope you did not just call me a lady." I fumed.

I launched forward and threw a hook punch towards Fang's face. He caught it deftly and cocked a single eyebrow at me, as if to say, is that it?

I growled and stupidly swung a second punch at his chest but he caught that hand as well. This time I definitely heard him trying to stifle laughter. I glared at him and went to lift me knee to where I could do some real damage. He pre-empted me and stepped back swiftly, pulling me with him. I felt myself falling into him trying to balance on one leg and I dropped the other to steady myself.

"Face it Max," He grinned. "I win this time."

He leaned in close and I could feel my treacherous body yearning for him to kiss me, but my pride wouldn't allow me to admit defeat. But to pull a win out of this one I would have to be sneaky, so I relaxed my muscles and let him believe I'd given in.

He fell for it hook, line and sinker. His grip on my arms loosened and I inwardly cheered. He fixed his gaze on my lips and I felt my stomach flip. I tensed and twisted quickly away from him. He pitched forward, having nothing left to lean on and I grabbed him from behind, pulling him into a headlock.

"You haven't won yet." I smiled.

"Max, I told you, I'm not going to hit you."

"Well _I'm_ going to hit _you_."

"You can try." He said simply.

I certainly would. I hadn't had a proper fight in quite some time and I actually found myself enjoying this.

I knocked my knee into the soft spot between his muscles and felt his knees buckle underneath him. But as I followed him down he caught me by surprise, twisting around in my arms. I stared into his dark eyes, smiling into mine.

Then, I did something I'd never done in a fight.

I stopped concentrating.

I fell into those eyes and lost myself.

In that moment, I saw Fang as I'd never seen him before. I saw endless depths of pain and confusion. I saw loneliness and anger. I saw desperation and fear. But in the midst of all this turmoil I saw a bubble of hope and love. I saw flecks of happiness scattered among the confusion, and I spotted an area, tucked away in the back, of absolute contentment.

I blinked.

I saw Fang watching me carefully.

I had just seen feelings that would send most people running, emotions that could swallow a person whole if they weren't careful. But as I looked at the face in front of me, all I felt was an almost over whelming love and devotion, to the person who had saved me from falling over the edge of sanity too many times to count. I saw my best friend, the boy who had stopped my crying with a sunset, the boy who'd stood by me, even when my ideas weren't that great, the boy who'd told me he loved me. A small smile crept over my face and I dropped a soft kiss on his lips. His eyes widened and I grinned, pushing him to the floor. He watched me confused. I was still going to win this fight.

I sat on his chest and punched him.

He blocked it surprisingly quickly and bucked me off. I felt myself glide through the air and hit something hard. I groaned, vaguely processing that I had smacked straight into the nearby wall.

Fang was up in a flash, by my side in a second.

"Max?"

I kicked him in the chest and watched him stagger back a few paces. I braced myself against the wall and jumped off the floor.

I saw Fang coming towards me again, but he seemed unusually blurry.

I stepped forward to take him down with a perfectly positioned axe kick, but I felt myself falter.

Fang saw it too and then everything started to happen very fast.

Fang stepped forward.

I lurched forward.

Fang cried out.

I felt the corners of my vision go dark.

Fang grabbed me under the arms.

I looked into those dark eyes as they faded away.

All I could think was that if this was the last thing I ever saw then maybe I could die happy.

Then I saw the fear in them.

I could never die happy.

Not if I had to leave him behind.

Then it went black.

And I was alone.

And so was he.

**DUN DUN DUUUUN! Oh my! What will happen next? Only I know! So I hope you enjoy. Sorry it's kind of short, but I had lots of homework this weekend and my exams are coming up so I have to study too! Thanks as always. Till next time Cat.**

**Ps My sensei describes a hook punch as a slap . . . but with your fist! I've just always found that really amusing. **


	40. I The Dashing Hero Obviously

**Ok, once again sorry it's been a while. My exams are in 2 weeks so you're really lucky I'm able to post before July. I have a show just after my exams, then I'm away in Florida all June, so my chances of updating are pretty much zero. However I will hopefully be back up and running by July, so fingers crossed. **

**Also someone asked why Max thought she was dying in the last chapter. Just thought I'd clear it up. She didn't. She was thinking about what would happen when she did. Sorry for the confusion it wasn't very well written.**

**Fang's POV again. ****Enjoy!**

I caught Max just before she connected with the floor and immediately felt for her pulse. It was too slow for my liking and I saw fear flash in her eyes before her face went blank.

Cr#p.

I knew it was bad that this felt normal already. That Max was collapsing on a regular basis was definitely worrying. I sighed. I figured I'd better get her downstairs to her bed so Iggy could take a look at her, so I scooped her up into my arms and headed over to the door. It wasn't until I reached for the handle that I remembered just how heavy the door had been. I was going to have to put Max down if I ever wanted to get it open. I glanced down at her limp form in my arms. She was breathing pretty evenly so I decided she'd be ok for a few seconds on her own. I checked the room quickly and spotted some conveniently placed mats in the corner to my left. I deposited Max gently on the cushions and returned to the door.

Two minutes later I was still staring at the door. It was big, black and, unfortunately, immovable. I had pulled the handle in every possible direction. I'd pushed the door, I'd pulled the door, I'd even tried sliding it. I'd put all of my inhumane strength into yanking that handle and yet, the door still stood there, mocking me, laughing at my futile attempts.

Cr#p.

I turned and looked around the room, hoping for an alternative exit to present itself. The opposite wall was covered in mirrors from ceiling to floor. I stared at the kid in the mirror. He was well over six foot, with tousled black hair. His black combats were crumpled from sleeping in them and his red t-shirt looked as if it had been attacked by a wonky iron, the creases sticking out in random places. He was breathing heavily and looked frustrated. I scowled and the kid scowled back. I still couldn't think of myself as an adult. I was only seventeen for god's sake. I ignored the mirror and looked hopefully around the soft gym floor. However I appeared to be searching in vain, because I found nothing even vaguely resembling an escape.

Cr#p.

I took a quick look at Max, but she seemed alright, so I turned back to the door. That was when I noticed it. The panel beside the door, the one covered in numbers. It was a small touch screen, with a number pad, which all would have been fine if it weren't for the red message flashing at the top of the screen.

**ENTER PASSWORD**

Cr#p!

It was a suggestion Max and I had come up with years ago. A failsafe in case anyone ever found the house we hoped we'd eventually have. It was an ingenious system that allowed anyone to enter but stopped all but the select few from leaving. The idea behind it was simple. If someone broke into our house, we wanted to know who it was. It would be too dangerous to allow anyone who knew who we really were to wander off happily with whatever information they'd gathered by breaking in. Because breaking in was one thing. If you knew the system was there you could prepare yourself and try more than once, but breaking out? Especially if you were caught by surprise? Now that would be considerably more difficult. So here was our ingenious idea. Unfortunately, I didn't know the password.

Cr#p.

In any good movie, I (the dashing hero obviously) would now be typing in the names of everyone in the house through numbers. Which is exactly why I didn't do that. Anyone stupid enough to make their password someone's name deserved to be burgled. I knew Max would never do something so stupid, so I didn't even bother. I called out for Iggy before I remembered that the room was soundproof. Great. Just fantastic. I shouted one more time and kicked the door for good measure, then I sat down fuming beside my new enemy. Even now I could hear the door mocking me.

'You call that a kick? Come on. Bring it pretty boy.'

Cr#p.

I was hearing voices from inanimate objects. I'd only been confined in this room for five minutes tops and I was already going mad. I pulled at the neck of my shirt and tried to stop thinking about how small the room was. I looked across at Max and a wonky smile crept over my face. She had regained consciousness momentarily and fallen asleep instantly. I watched as she curled her fingers and manoeuvred her head to the side. I pushed myself off of the wall and sat down beside her, carefully moving her onto my lap and into my arms. She curled into a ball and her head settled into the space between my head and shoulder that seemed made for her. I wrapped my arms around her so that my hands rested lightly on her far hip.

"Fang?" She mumbled almost incoherently.

"Yeah?"

"I love you." She whispered in my ear.

I smiled and leaned my head lightly against hers.

"I love you too." I assured her.

"That's good." She mumbled.

I chuckled and she smiled against my neck and I thought how lucky I was that I hadn't missed this.

**Really short I know, but I really need to go and study. I'll update again as soon as possible, which as I said, might be July. Hope you enjoyed this instalment. Cat**


	41. Was That A Rhetorical Question?

**Ok I'm in Florida now. But I might possibly be able to upload because my dad brought his laptop. YAY!**

**So I'm hoping to get this up fairly soon although the internet doesn't seem to be working so I might be able to send it up through the local internet cafe which doubles as an ice cream parlour may I add!**

**So anyway back to the story. We're back to Max's POV. I wasn't too happy with the last chap. So I'll see if I can't make this one better. **

* * *

I curled up against Fang and wondered where we were. I hoped it was somewhere nice. I opened my eyes slowly silently hoping for a nice secluded beach where the whole Flock (plus extended family) could be safe. I was decidedly disappointed to see the mirrored walls of the Florida house's secret gym.

Well that was a letdown. But a girl can dream can't she? I glanced up at Fang safe in the knowledge that he was in no way disappointing. His jet black hair was tousled, sticking out at odd angles from his head, his skin, perfect in every aspect, with its rich olive Mediterranean sheen, and his features flawless in their perfection and yet, he was no lifeless model, no brainless ditz with nothing to show but his looks. Fang was smart, strong, funny at times and, although he rarely showed it, sensitive. He was practically a danger to society. By all rights he should be declared illegal to protect all those poor hearts he broke just by standing within a ten mile radius of them. Even I, the indomitable team leader had fallen for him in the end, made even more embarrassing by the fact that I was the only one who hadn't seen it coming.

Typical.

But that was all in the past, and here we were, in the hidden gym, sitting blithely on the floor for a reason I really can't remember. How odd.

Fang looked decidedly frustrated. So I sat up to ask what exactly was up.

Bad move.

I felt a searing pain flare up my scars and around my spine. I was caught off guard and I cried out.

Fang immediately leapt into action, figuratively of course as I was sitting on his lap.

"Max? What's wrong?"

"No, don't worry, please." I smiled to show I was ok. "It's just my back acting up. It does that sometimes."

"Oh." He frowned a little, unsure of how honest I was being.

"No, honestly Fang, no worries." I smiled again to emphasize my point even though I could feel the flames still flaring around my body torturing my insides, sometimes in life you just have to be the brave little soldier.

He frowned again and glanced at the door worriedly. I followed his gaze towards the door wondering what was causing him such consternation. Unable to discover the problem I turned back to Fang and he looked back at me. If it were anyone else I'd have said he looked . . . sheepish. But this was Fang, and Fang never gets embarrassed or any of those lesser emotions, at least not that I had ever seen. Fang was the sort of guy who ignored the trivial stuff and tackled the big matters. He looked at the big picture. I had never caught him out being embarrassed by anything. I had, however, had more than enough training in dealing with those sheepish looks before. The Gasman was constantly doing things that required either a lot of apologies or an inordinate amount of grovelling. So I put on my best I-promise-I-won't-get-angry face and looked Fang straight in the eye.

"What did you do?" I asked in my no nonsense Mommy voice.

And I watched seventeen year old Fang pout like a five year old.

"Nothing." He said gruffly.

"Sure." I said condescendingly. That ought to get him riled.

He glared at me malevolently almost sending a shiver down my spine.

"I'm waiting." I smiled pleasantly.

He muttered something under his breath and I grinned.

"I can't hear you." I trilled happily.

"I can't open the door." He muttered again.

"That's all?" I asked surprised. "That's no problem. I was worried you and Iggy had been paintballing in the living room or something a little more . . . messy."

He glared at the door unspeaking. I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from laughing, because I knew it would only make him angrier.

"Do you want me to tell you the code?" I asked quietly.

He continued to stare silently at the door and I smiled at his familiar stubbornness.

"It's ok you know, not to know the code?" I sat up carefully beside him trying desperately to ignore the sharp pains shooting down my back. "You haven't been living here after all."

His jaw tightened almost imperceptibly and I worried that I might have said the wrong thing. I watched his face carefully trying to read how I could relax him.

"I was worried and I couldn't get you out of here." He finally said under his breath.

"I'm sorry." I whispered leaning into him.

"Don't be, I'm not blaming you I'm blaming myself."

"You promised we wouldn't do that anymore." I reminded him quickly.

"I know," He sighed, "It's just . . . harder than I thought it would be."

"Tell me about it." I smiled sadly.

We sat in silence for a while, both contemplating our immediate future. I evened out my breathing and concentrated on anything but the pain running down my back and sides. He sat staring at the door. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore.

"Fang?"

He turned to look down on me.

"Can I give you the code so we can go downstairs?" I asked softly. "It's just that my back is quite sore and-"

He lifted me up before I had even finished my sentence. I winced and he glanced sharply down at me.

"Quite sore or overwhelmingly painful?" He asked suspiciously.

"Maybe the second one?" I muttered carefully.

He growled and I bit my lip. I'd hoped he wouldn't notice.

"Code" He grunted.

"34633264" I mumbled.

He typed it in carefully, holding me cradled against his opposite side. And then we were walking down the stairs, out into the hall and down to my room. I stared at his shirt for the entire journey. Fang was going to be really angry with me about lying to him about my back. I didn't want to face that again, but I spent the trip down steeling myself. When we got to the room he closed the door with his foot and lifted me over to the bed. He put me down carefully and then sat with his back to me on the edge.

I sighed inwardly. This was going to be messy.

"Fang?"

"Do you know that you are the most stubborn person I've met in my entire life?"He said still facing away from me.

I bit my lip. There was a pause.

"Was that a rhetorical question?" I asked.

He turned to face me and I relaxed. His lips weren't smiling but his eyes were.

"I've been a little dumb lately." He confessed. I watched him carefully waiting for the explanation that should accompany that statement.

"You see I've been giving out to you for things that I fell in love with you for." He continued.

I stared at him unsure what to say or how to react or even where this was coming from.

"I've been trying to stamp down on your self-reliance, your selflessness, your strength, but that was wrong" He lay down on the bed next to me, "Because they're some of the things that make you Max, our fearless team leader."

He paused and I grinned.

"Go on." I said jokingly and he smiled slightly, pushing himself up to drop a kiss on my forehead.

"Mmmm, trust me I would." He murmured. "If I hadn't just found something even better to do with my mouth." And he leaned in and kissed me.

* * *

**Ok so that's all for now. I wrote this while playing NFL monopoly (which is actually a surprisingly good game! GO BEARS!) Any way I'm going to try and upload this soon. So if this is July I failed. But if it's June the 10****th**** then I'll probably have the chance to update once maybe twice more before I'm off to Washington. Anyway I'm going to get some well deserved sleep and I hope I don't hate this chapter tomorrow. Thanks for Reading and Enjoy! Cat**


	42. The Choice Was Made

**OK so. In Williamsberg now. This one's mostly about the mystery girl I keep alluding to. You're all finally going to find out who she is! OOOH big important chapter because I'm also going to tell you my big Max secret! Hope you enjoy!**

**We're back to Fang's Point of View**

* * *

I sat on Max's bed, my left foot dangling off the side. Max was leaning against me, resting her head on my shoulder. We sat in silence, the dark room a contrast to our relaxed contentedness.

"Do you think if we stopped thinking about it, the rest of the world would just, go away?" Max asked softly.

I stared silently out of the window and wondered how long this would last before it all got blown apart again. When we were younger, fighting ITEX, we were constantly expecting danger. The bad guys kept us on our toes. Our lives were constantly threatened. Now, we were more relaxed, more unprepared and the destruction caused so easily in our midst meant that our emotions were constantly threatened. It was ironic that I had thought by settling down all of their problems would just go away. Now the problems we had to deal with were harder. I was much better at beating the living daylights out of an eraser than I was at dealing with these emotional fights being thrown at us left, right and centre.

I turned to Max and kissed the top of her head lightly, even after an hour of kissing her I still felt a shiver go through her. "I don't think we're that lucky." I said simply. We sat for a little while longer, just soaking in each other's presence. Finally, I remembered something I'd meant to ask earlier.

"Max?"

She looked up at me questioningly.

"Did you say Iggy's having a son?"

She nodded. I thought about this. Under any other circumstances, I would have been happy for him, proud even, in an odd sort of way. But right now? In the middle of this? Knowing what we knew? I wouldn't have wished this on anyone.

"Does he know?" I asked finally.

"I don't think so." She replied hesitantly. "The conversation didn't actually get that far, on account of me sort of collapsing."

I nodded and wondered how long it would be before Iggy knew he would be a father, even if it was to a kid he would never know. Again, we sat in silence. I couldn't have told you what Max was thinking, her face was so confused, maybe even she didn't know, so I decided to wait until she did.

"Fang?"

I nodded.



"When I . . . collapsed . . . I saw something." She hesitated and I waited patiently for more, watching her face carefully.

"There was complete darkness and it was cold . . . so cold. Then suddenly there was a girl in front of me. She was young, maybe six or seven and she was in these scruffy torn clothes. But she had this hair . . . I don't know how to describe it really, but . . . it was beautiful."

She stared into space for a moment, lost in her own description. I began to wonder where this was going. She looked back at me and her forehead creased a little as she began to remember.

"She spoke to me. First she apologised for calling me. Which is silly, because she didn't call me, I just fainted right?"

I watched her closely as she laughed nervously, as if she were trying to convince herself of how crazy that sounded.

"Then she said she was very far away, but that she had something to tell me. She said to listen carefully and . . ." She trailed off, staring sadly at me.

I waited for her to continue, but she didn't.

"Max," I said calmly. "What did she say? What was so important?"

"I don't know." She shook her head. "That's when she disappeared."

* * *

**THE ITEX HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON DC**

* * *

Lily lifted her pounding head and wished for the hundredth time that she'd been paying more attention when she'd been contacting Max. It had been so important that she get through that she had forgotten how exposed she would be. She sat up and tried to shield her eyes from the light but it was no use. Her prison was flawlessly designed, light poured in at every possible angle, perfect for holding a creature that travelled in shadows. It had been less than 24 hours since she had been discovered and imprisoned but it had felt like an eternity. Her fragile body was not adapted for long periods in pure light, her thin skin and unusually hot blood was easily damaged by the harsh rays. She damned her sensitive body and the pain that was shooting up all of her burning nerve endings.

She heard the click of a door opening from across a room she couldn't see and her head snapped up. Her neck screamed in protest and she winced but she continued to search desperately in the direction of the sound. Could it be Alex finally come to rescue her? She shook her head at her own stupidity. Alex was gone. She had no chances left. They were probably coming to take her away. Her ears yearned for 

sound but there was nothing, not even the footprints that should have accompanied the opened door. She closed her eyes, blocked out all other senses and concentrated solely on the sounds around her. But there were none. She reached out her mind to encompass the room, searching to full capacity. Still there was silence. Her tiny heart began to beat wildly, fear clutching her being. There was nothing a shadow walker couldn't hear, nothing they couldn't sense they were the ultimate creation, the ultimate being. They had been ITEX'S last attempt at the perfect warrior, but once again they had failed.

Her hair drooped flatly around her face in the strong light, her skin mottled and red, her eyes usually a coal black were a dead and lifeless grey and her bones were almost visible through her parchment-like flesh. She was haggard and in pain. Her friends would have been repulsed even to see her as she was now. She needed the shadows, she needed the darkness, without it, she would die. She forgot her fear and it was replaced by the numb pain. She no longer cared if she lived or died. Alex had said she was a fool for going near the one place that knew exactly what she was and how to destroy her. They had fought bitterly over her decision and in the end she had left alone, determined to do as she had promised and prevent the unthinkable. In doing so she had made the hardest decision of her life. She had left her best friend behind. She had left him behind.

She was no fool. She had clearly seen the resemblance between her case and Max's. The difference was that they had tried. She and Alex had tried to make it work, but as he had said that last time. "I was wrong, we were wrong, sometimes things just feel wrong." She felt a tear brim up in the corner of her eye and wiped it away angrily. There was no use crying over spilt milk. He had said what he'd said. They'd both made their choice. It didn't matter that she thought she might have made the wrong one. The choice was made.

She thought about Max and her Flock, how similar they were to her own 'Family'. Alex was her Fang, Clarissa almost her Iggy and the twins her youngsters. She wondered how they would take her disappearance. Probably not that badly, Alex was a good leader after all, nurturing, patient and wise. All the things she wasn't. All in all this was probably for the best, all except for one tiny little detail. She had never delivered her message to Max. She had failed herself and her mission.

They had to know.

There was still a way.

Max could still be saved.

It was all a lie.

The expiration date was a cover.

Max was not dying.

ITEX were back and they wanted Maximum Ride.

* * *

**OHHH plot spoiler. But here's what you don't know. HOW? Don't guess on reviews in case you get it right and spoil it for others, PM ME!! Thanks for reading I'll update again as soon as possible.**


	43. Another One

**Ok, so it's been a while but my friends are very distracting people. I hope everybody's having a fun summer! I went to the zoo!! For those in the southern hemisphere currently suffering through winter, my sympathies. **

**The point of views might get a little messed up now because I'm bringing Lily and Alex into play. I think you're going to like them. At least I hope so. **

**For now, it's Max's point of view. **

* * *

It was Friday and we were finally preparing to leave. It had been two days since I had fought Fang in the gym. Two days to finish saying goodbye to Florida. It still didn't quite make sense to me that I would never see it again. Never was such a definite thing. I was sitting in the kitchen with Iggy, Alice and Fang and I couldn't help but wonder, would they sit here after I was gone? Would they talk about me, or pretend I never existed? I looked around at the smiling faces in front of me. How long before smiling became a thing of the past?

"And then Max cries 'U & A' and we're out of there like a bat out of hell!" Iggy chortled into his pasta. "I always wished I could have seen that waiter's face! Do you remember that Max? Uh . . . Max? Earth to Max?"

I stared at Iggy, lost. I knew he was speaking to me, I knew he was talking but I couldn't hear him, as if a muffler had been placed over everything. Suddenly from nowhere, there was a dull pain thumping inside my head. I blinked, trying to shake my head, but the thumping only became more insistent, as if someone were trying to break in.

Then Fang was in front of me, his face very close to mine, too close. I felt my head spin. Since when could Fang be too close? I was struggling to breathe and suddenly I was under.

It was cold, so cold, even colder than the last time. I felt a chill roll done my spine and I twisted frantically in the darkness. There was someone else here, I could feel it, someone else in my head. My breathing quickened and I noticed that the thumping sound was gone. That scared me more, because if I was right then that meant that whoever it was, had gotten in.

I shook my head. I was acting crazy, people breaking into other people's heads, that was impossible, surely.

I heard a noise behind me.

Someone exhaled deeply and I span around.

"Another one." I breathed.

The boy stood as tall as me, but he only looked to be about eight years old. He wore a tattered pair of jeans and an old black 'Ramones' t-shirt, but it was his hair that caught my eye. It was scarlet laced with orange and yellow and it danced on his head like a living flame.

He was also glaring at me. Fantastic.

"Are you Maximum Ride?" He practically barked

I nodded.

"Have you been here before?"

Again, I nodded.

"That tells me all I need to know." He growled. "Now where the hell is Lily?"

* * *

**ITEX HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON DC**

"How long has she been prone?"

"About twenty minutes."

"What does that mean for us?"

"We're not entirely sure. The shadow walkers were the most uncontrollable of our experiments, worse even than the avian-hybrids themselves. We never finished testing on them, barely even got started."

"I see. But if you were to estimate how long this creature had to live-?"

The question was left hanging.

Lily lay unmoving in her luminous cage, desperate for sweet painless darkness. She listened to them discussing her imminent death, as if she weren't there. As if she weren't a sentient being.

"I'd estimate around a week? Maybe two? But that would be how long it would take to die completely. Within a few days it will be beyond hope, past the point of no return I should say. Again though, it's a very rough estimate, and with little to no information . . . I'm uncomfortable making a definite statement. However these are very resilient creatures, despite their weak frames."

"I understand. It seems then that we must in fact allow this one to perish slowly in order to understand the limitations of the next one."

Lily's heart stopped.

"The next one sir?"

"Yes. I believe after we have dealt with the hybrids that it would be wise to eliminate this set as well. They are far too much of a liability to be allowed to walk around freely. Now we know how to trap one we can finally clean our slate and start afresh, don't you think?"

"Of course sir. Would we be able to study the others sir? The knowledge we gained would be a great addition to our next project."

It sickened Lily to hear the eagerness to torture in such a young voice. She couldn't see him, but she could imagine a fresh-faced young man, eager to push her family to the limit. Anger swelled within her, but her body could no longer react for her. So she lay silently in her cage, sick with the knowledge that it was her folly that had taught them how to capture the ones she loved.

* * *

**NAPLES, FLORIDA**

* * *

The girl stared at Alex as if she had no idea what he was talking about. He growled.

"I won't ask again!" He shouted. "WHERE IS LILY?"

"Who's Lily?" She stammered.

"Don't play dumb with me I know she was here last. I can sense it." Alex felt for that tingling sensation that told him Lily had indeed been here very recently. It raced up his hands and soared through his body, leaving little doubt that a fellow shadow walker had crossed the barrier.

The girl, this Maximum Ride that Lily was so desperate to save, furrowed her brow.

"Do you mean-" She paused and he growled again, "the pale girl, the small one with the beautiful hair?"

Alex felt his heart leap, finally a concrete lead. He'd been searching for days and found nothing. It was purely by chance that he had found this stream at all.

"Yes," he said softly, "the girl with the beautiful hair."

Maximum was staring at him sadly; her shoulders had begun to droop and she was frowning.

"Do you know where she is?" He pleaded. He knew where she'd been planning to go. He felt the bile rise in his throat at the thought of her at ITEX again. This was the one last chance, the last possible place she could be except-. He grimaced and prayed that his instincts were terribly wrong.

He watched this Maximum, this girl whom Lily had described as indomitable, fearless and spirited, crumble.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "The only time I met her, about three days ago, she came to me as you did. She told me she had something important to tell me, but that she was very far away. She asked me to listen closely and then-" Maximum closed her eyes.

"What?" Alex begged. "Maximum what did she say?"

"She didn't say anything, she just . . . disappeared."

Alex felt the bottom drop out of his world. Only two things could stop a shadow walker midstream, only two things could pull them out of the shadows like that.

One was death. The other was capture.

Right now, he couldn't decide which fate was worse.

He fell to his knees and fixed his eyes on Maximum Ride.

"She's gone." He mumbled. "She's gone and it's all our fault."

* * *

**OK, so off to London tomorrow. Thank you so much to ruby1792 and O' Future Ruler Maria Larry, as you can see I went for OPTION D! Thanks to everyone, may update this weekend if I get a chance!**


	44. Why Me?

**Ok, so I'm back in Wexford, for a relaxing weekend. I don't think this chapter will be in Fang's POV at the beginning although**** it will be his eventually. I also don't know how long it's going to be. I just have a vague notion of where it's going.**

'**Pirates Who Don't Do Anything' is a great song on a completely random note.**

**This starts with Max's POV (subject to change)**

* * *

_He fell to his knees and fixed his eyes on __me._

"_She's gone." He mumbled. "She's gone and it's all our fault."_

* * *

I reached for the fiery haired boy, but he started to fade.

"No wait!" I cried panicked, "Don't leave please! I still don't understand! How are you in my mind? Who are you? Where did she go? WHY ME?"

But he was gone. I twisted around in the darkness terrified.

"WHY ME?" I screamed. There was no one. There was no echo, just darkness.

I swore violently and tried to think. How on earth was I supposed to get out of here?

* * *

**MAX'S BEDROOM, NAPLES, FLORIDA**

* * *

I clung tightly to Max's hand but it was going cold. I stared at her face. It was drenched in sweat and for a long time she had been twisting and shaking, but now that had all stopped and her face was serene. I couldn't help but think that that wasn't a good sign.

"Iggy, please?" I croaked. "What's happening? Why has she stopped moving?"

"I don't know Fang," He shook his head sadly, his hands running up and down Max, searching for something, anything, that could tell us what was going on. "It doesn't make sense for her to be dying now. Her expiration date is still a week away, and they seem to be pretty exact."

"Iggy, what if this is it? What if the date is wrong? What if she's dying now? What do we do?"

Iggy dropped his head into his hands and sighed deeply.

"Fang if the date is wrong, if this is it . . . then there's nothing we can do."

I felt ice take hold of my insides. This couldn't be it. I had a week left, a week to make up for four long years of separation. I wasn't ready to let her go yet.

"Come on Max." I pushed myself off of my seat and knelt beside the bed. I kept her hand tight in mine and reached out with my free hand to brush the hair off the side of her face. "Come on, please. You can't just leave us here like this. You can't just leave _me _here like this. I can't- I can't do this yet. I can't say goodbye. Please don't make me."

I watched her face praying for a stay of execution, just a week. At least give me that.

"Fang her pulse is still going strong." Iggy said softly. "If she is going she'll be a while."

I nodded absentmindedly and squeezed Max's hand. For a second I almost convinced myself that she'd squeezed back but I shook my head at my own stupidity.

"Alice?" Iggy took Alice's hand and they left the room quietly. I wondered would this be my last time alone with Max. Strange to think that after all we'd been through, all the bad guys we'd fought that this was how we would go, quietly in our sleep. Every time I'd imagined my own death it had been at the hands of our enemies. I leaned forward and rested my forehead against hers. Of all the erasers we'd fought, all the flyboys, even Omega, here it was, we were destined to die peacefully, to just slip away quietly, if not today then soon. It seemed wrong somehow. I leaned in softly and kissed my oldest friend.

And she kissed back.

She gasped and kissed me back fiercely. I wrapped my arms around her, almost lifting her off the bed and she slowly put her arms around my neck. A thrill went through my veins. Alive again.

I pulled back and she smiled tiredly up at me.

"Hello again." She grinned.

"Hmm awoken with a kiss," I grinned back, "don't start getting the pretensions of a Princess."

"Oh I don't know, I quite like the idea of having you wait on me hand and foot."

I snorted. "And I don't already?"

"You haven't cooked me breakfast yet." She said primly. "Come servant, chop chop, carry me to the kitchen."

I smiled and dropped a light kiss on her forehead. "I will, as soon as we've informed Iggy that you are alright." I buried my nose in her hair and she kissed the side of my neck. I pulled back and looked into her eyes. "I thought I'd lost you." I choked out.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I thought I'd lost me too."

"What happened?"

"The same as last time." She shrugged. "I got . . . summoned."

"Same girl?"

"No, a boy."

I stiffened. "A boy?"

"Down boy, he was half our age." She laughed.

"What did he want?" I asked gruffly.

She sobered instantly. "He was looking for the girl, Lily. He knew who I was."

"You didn't tell me she had a name."

"I didn't know her name last time."

"So he didn't know where she was?"

"No but when I told him what happened last time, he sort of . . . crumpled. He said she was gone and that it was our fault."

"Ours or yours and his?"

"That or there are more of them." She shivered. "I don't like that they can get into my head at whim."

"Neither do I."

"Especially because I can't get out when they leave."

"That's why you went quiet?"

She nodded. "I was trying to figure out how to get out."

I pulled her close and we sat like that for a moment.

"C'mon, we really need to tell Iggy and Alice you're ok." I reminded her.

She nodded and I helped her up off the bed. She leaned into me and together we walked to the kitchen.

* * *

**Ok so there's some Faxness for you! ****I hope it works as a scene. Next chapter will probably be where they leave Naples for good. Or it might be something completely different, I haven't exactly decided yet.**


	45. Stupid Powers

**Ok, I'm back. Sorry for another long break but it was my birthday again!! Yay! So I had party's to organise and driving tests to book. Anyway here's another chapter. Again I'm not sure where this will go yet. All I know is where I'm going eventually.**

**Thanks for your patience. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Max's POV**

I stood in my room and looked around it for the last time. I wasn't really sure how I felt about leaving it. Sure it had been a sanctuary for years of pain but at the same time it was also where I'd had my first conversation with Fang on his return. It was my room. Mine. Something I didn't get that often, something that truly belonged to me. I sighed and slung my light backpack over my shoulder. Part of me didn't want to leave. Part of me couldn't wait to be gone.

I sat down on the bed and thought about the last few days. Days of pure bliss and happiness tinged with sadness and regret. It was hard to let go but I knew that I had to. Once again we were on the move.

I had already said my goodbyes to the rest of the house, while Fang was picking up the kids from school. I had given the punching bag a last farewell round and I had run my fingers over every instrument in the music room leaving a tinkling noise running through the room behind me. I had eaten my last meal in the kitchen and I had sat in the garden by our small pond thinking about the future Now the others were back and finishing up their packing. There was nothing left for me to do but leave my nearly empty space and wait for them in the sitting room, but I couldn't leave. My eyes flickered to the drawer of my bedside cabinet.

I had a sudden urge to open it and reread my work one last time. I slid the drawer open and slipped my hand inside but at the last moment I pulled back.

What was contained in this drawer was the past. I had no need for the past anymore.

I sat staring at the drawer for the longest time until finally I pulled a piece of scrap paper from my A4 pad and scribbled a note. I left it lying on top of my hundreds of pages and months worth of work and slowly slid the door closed. I could finally breathe easy.

If anyone ever found them, which I highly doubted, at least there would be an explanation.

I took a deep breath and glancing around the room, I finally felt that I could leave and so I slipped out the door shutting it quietly, almost reverently behind me. Like the past in that drawer, the past of my room was closed.

Smiling slightly at the thought of flying with the flock again I stepped into the living room and memories from the last few days hit me like a ton of bricks. The night Fang arrived, us just sitting on the couch drinking coffee, Fang telling me he loved me and I him, being attacked by Keith and mine and Fang's undignified entrance in front of Iggy and his friends. Other memories sprang at me as well; like the day we arrived and Angel's seventh birthday, the night Iggy introduced us to Alice and the month Angel and Nudge spent sleeping on the sofa in protest of the smell from Gazzy's room. All were moments long past but each as real and alive to me at that moment as the present. Perhaps even more real then they had been at the time through my grief stricken haze. Was this what it was like to have your life flash before your eyes?

I guess I was going to find out pretty soon.

One week. I thought. One week to live a life full of happiness.

I stepped over to the mantelpiece as Fang walked in with Iggy and the kids.

"Ready?" He asked, watching my face carefully for signs that I might collapse at any moment. He had tried to convince me out of going last night. He was terrified that I would faint mid-air and he wouldn't be able to save me. I had told him not to worry himself, that I'd be just fine. The truth was . . . I was terrified too. But as usual, I put on my brave little soldier face, nodded once and smiled.

"You're sure?" He asked one last time.

"Always" I replied confidently.

"Don't we know it?" Iggy muttered teasingly.

I watched the others pull their backpacks on and we started to head out the door when I realised what I was leaving behind.

"Wait!" I called out and I ran back into the room heading for the fireplace. I reached the old picture and carefully slid it out of its frame. Folding it in half I slipped it into my back pocket and turned to Fang who had popped his head around the door rather adorably.

"Ok, now I'm ready." I smiled.

He cocked his head slightly, lifting an eyebrow, but I just smiled and hopped out the back door.

So there we stood, all six of us, ready once again to take flight and travel the world. Ok, so maybe just North America, but let's be honest for most people that is the world.

I could almost feel the wind rifling through my hair and wings, could almost hear the buffeting roar of the gusts in my ears, could almost taste the freedom. God I longed for the freedom of pure uninhibited flight. I grinned at Fang and I could see him thinking the same thing. With Total slipped into Iggy's backpack it was time we were off. I turned to my flock and grinned.

"Ok guys you know the drill. We're keeping to the north and if anyone get's lost-"

"Oh dang that reminds me I'd nearly forgotten, here Max." Fang interrupted me reaching into his bag. He threw me a small compact electronic device and I just stared at it. He threw one to each flock member except Nudge who had already pulled out her own.

"Nudge designed these little beauties last night." Fang grinned. "I think you're going to like them." He said smiling at me. "Nudge?"

Nudge stepped forward happily into the spotlight.

"Ok, so essentially our problem was that if we split up or got lost sometimes it was really hard to find each other. Or we were waiting around for each other not sure if everyone was ok or anything. Also sometimes we could find it takes a while to find things like food, secluded areas, bathrooms that kind of thing. So, to solve the first problem, I figured we needed some kind of way of contacting each other. A mobile phone, if you will."

"Nudge I told you we had to leave our phones behind in case we're detected." I sighed.

I know, I know, but that's the beauty of these phones, Max. They don't emit a signal." She smiled triumphantly. "You see ordinarily your phone has a network which sends out a small signal at all times. However, these phones emit no traceable signal, except to each other! Secondly not only can they call all six of us, and locate us to an exact point anywhere in the world," She demonstrated by ringing the Gasman's phone. He picked up and she showed me the tracker zooming along her screen showing her exactly where he was and estimating the safest way to get there by air. I whistled in astonishment and she grinned continuing on with her performance. "They can also find anything else we're looking for in just seconds!" She showed me the ten nearest food stops and public parks and again the easiest way to get there by air. "It's a phone and a GPS all built into one. To top all of that off, it can't be used by anyone but us. It's voice activated or alternatively it will open at the touch of our fingerprints, but no one else's. So they're useless to anyone but us. Also they're waterproof, which I thought would be a pretty handy feature . . ." She was still talking but all we could do was stare at her in amazement. Fang sidled up to me and smiled at the look of pure astonishment on my face.

"I know." He whispered leaning in. "It almost makes it too easy."

I laughed in surprise and the flock looked at us. I blushed and turned to Fang . . . who wasn't there. I span around and saw him standing behind Iggy waving at me, a very self-satisfied smirk on his face.

Stupid powers.

The kids were still looking at me in confusion and I coughed.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Nothing." They muttered and they turned back to Nudge. I glared at Fang.

My look said it all. It's totally not funny to make me look crazy in front of them.

He shrugged as if he couldn't help it and started to talk to Iggy. I sighed a sigh that all of womankind will recognise. It's the sound you make when you remember that a boy is after all an absolute twat.

Nudge had finished up her demonstrations and after much thanks on everyone's part we got ready to go.

A last check of everyone, and a nod from Fang and Iggy and I was off. I ran full pelt and launched myself into the air pulling myself up and up and up. I winced at the strain on my scar but I ignored it. I turned when I'd gained enough momentum, just in time to see Fang taking off behind me. He was a little stiffer than he used to be but our semi-regular night-time flights had loosened up his muscles sufficiently. He pulled himself up next to me and I smiled, forgiving him for his earlier momentary lapse of judgement. After we were all airborne I pulled in beside Nudge and we coasted along next to each other for a moment.

"Y'know kid," I said to her. "Someday you're going to make it real big if you keep coming up with great ideas like that one. I don't know how you did it and I'm sure I wouldn't understand it if I did, but Nudge, you are one smart cookie."

"Thanks Max." She said looping herself around me in a tight spin. "I figured since there was something I could do to help I was going to do it. I'm old enough to really pitch in and help now y'know?"

I nodded and split off from her checking if everyone was all right. Angel was testing her phone to see if her fingerprints still worked when she morphed, Iggy was chatting with Total and Gazzy, Nudge flew off to explain some things to Angel and Fang was once again nowhere to be seen.

I shrugged and tamped down my urge to know where he was. He could take care of himself. I was turning to look back at the house when I felt someone's wings brush mine and my heart leaped. I turned around smiling.

"Hey you." I said softly.

"Hey yourself." He said back. I saw Gazzy nudge Iggy in mid-air and an all out game of air tag commenced. I watched Fang race off into the hubbub, smiling at me, until he went stealth and sneak attacked Angel.

I used this last moment alone to look back at the house, the town and the world that I would never see again. I had been here so long that it seemed impossible that I would never return, but as I watched it fade away, I realised it wasn't the house that I would miss, it was the memories it held, the memories I could feel slowly slipping away from me. The suddenly I remembered that I didn't need the house or even the memories, as long as I had the flock and for the third time today I turned away from the past, closed the door and stepped into the unknown. I watched as my family played rough and tumble tag in the air, their abilities flicking on and off as they flew across the sky and I laughed. This was freedom, this was happiness, this was bliss. I was unfettered by sadness and regret. The past was no longer important, the future was uncontrollable, what mattered now was the present. With that thought running through my mind I switched on the hyper speed and joined the fray. We had a long time before we needed to be in Disneyland and life was for living.

* * *

**Ok, thanks for your time tune in next time for another exciting episode of . . . well this obviously.**

**See you soon.**

**Cat**


	46. Everybody Needs A Plan

**Ok, so, this chapter is going to finish off the introduction of my OC's I think and then we'll get down to my next plan of action. Which I can't tell you because it would ruin my story! I'd like to make two mentions in this chapter, one is to Kare963, who reviewed every single chapter in the story so far, to my amazement, so thank you for that, and to FourNations93 who sent me some really good feedback.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Fang's POV**

I sat beside Max in the rest stop as we drew up our plan of attack. We had almost reached Orlando and were sitting in a greasy fast food joint about 2 kilometres from Disneyland. The sun was setting outside the large grease stained window and we wanted to find somewhere to stay before it got dark.

We had a couple of choices. Either we could book into a hotel, which went against all of our instincts and would be insanely expensive, we could try and find a nice secluded spot outside the park that wasn't swampland, or lastly and least likely at this point we could find a nice empty holiday home and break in for the night.

None of the above struck me as particularly appeasing options. The second two would take too long and the kids were tired from flying all day, but I balked at the idea of booking into a hotel, which would undoubtedly be filled to the brim with people and I'd be willing to bet that there wasn't a single room in any of the hotels anyway. It was nearly Christmas and we were at the biggest tourist attraction in the world.

So we struggled with our worries while the kids and Iggy inhaled grub from the fast food joint.

Finally Angel piped up between mouthfuls.

"We could stay IN Disneyland." She suggested.

Max and I exchanged glances.

"What?" We both asked at the same time.

"Well they have this really big plastic tree in the Animal Kingdom and it's got all the animals carved on it. It's called a baobab or an upside down tree, so it's got lots of space because its roots are on the top. We could sleep up there."

Max and I looked at each other.

"What do you think?" She asked.

I nodded. "Sounds like our best option."

She nodded and took my hand squeezing it lightly in thanks.

"Ok guys," she turned to the rest of them, "You heard what Angel said. Let's go look for a really big tree."

* * *

**CHICAGO, ILLINOIS**

* * *

"Alex?" Clarissa looked up as Alex dragged himself in the makeshift door of their temporary shelter. The ragged piece of cloth tore slightly as it fluttered back into place, catching on the rusty spike they used to hang coats. His eyes were tired and he looked defeated. "Alex, what happened? Where were you?" Clarissa grabbed his arm as he stumbled. He waved her away and tried again to make his way to his bed, stumbling and shaking his head. Nick and Amber sat at the other side of the room watching them both carefully as Clarissa tried to help him. He shoved at her and fell to the ground.

"Alex, please let me help." Clarissa bit her lip. He didn't have Lily. He hadn't found her. Pain shot through her heart.

"I don't deserve help C" He choked out finally. "She's gone don't you see? She's gone and it's my fault. I shouldn't have said . . ."

Nick stood up cautiously and came to sit beside them. Amber sat beside him and grabbed his hand.

"Where's Lily?" They asked Alex at the same time, they're dusty brown hair waving slightly in the breeze that got in through the small hole in the side wall, they're deep violet eyes boring into Alex.

"Gone." He echoed hollowly. "Gone."

Clarissa felt a chill go up her spine at how desolate and far away his voice sounded. The black tattoos on her dark skin danced up and down, writhing in emotional pain.

They sat in their small circle and each wished for their leader, their friend, their ever patient guardian.

* * *

**BAOBAB TREE, ANIMAL KINGDOM, DISNEYWORLD, FLORIDA**

* * *

We had settled down for the night. Max had initiated hand tapping and Nudge had finished showing us some more of our new phones many applications. Angel and Gazzy had finally gone to sleep, despite their excitement. Nudge was hooking us up with tickets for all the parks on her laptop and Iggy was moving around the tree feeling all the carvings of the animals.

It was quiet aside from the light tapping of Nudge's keyboard and occasional soft exclamations of wonder and surprise from Iggy. Max and I were sitting in one of the branches, or really the roots, of the tree, keeping watch. She was running her fingers over my hand, tracing the lines and creases, her head leaning on my shoulder.

"Fang?" She asked softly.

"Hmm?" I murmured back.

"What will you do when I'm gone?"

I sighed. "I don't know." I replied sadly. "I'll look after them but other than that . . . I suppose I'll just be waiting."

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"Don't be." I put my arm around her holding her close. "At least we've got now, and that's more then I'd ever hoped for."

We sat in silence for another while listening to the Flock moving around us. Total snuffled in his sleep and moved closer to Angel's side. Nudge finally shut down her laptop and settled down for the night, choosing a spot near the Gasman. Iggy came and sat close to us and traced pictures on the ground.

"Max? Fang?" He asked after a moment. "Do you think . . . do you think there's a heaven?"

I thought about it for a moment and looked down at Max, who was curled up against me, close to sleep.

"I sure hope so Ig." I said finally. "I sure hope so."

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**CHICAGO, ILLINOIS**

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Lifting Alex onto her shoulders, Clarissa rolled him onto the bed. She reached for his hand and searched with her mind for his injuries. Her eyes flew open when she realised he didn't have any, none that she could heal anyway. Her powers were useless against the kind of emotional scars he had brought home.

She sighed and stood up, dropping his hand. The tattoos all over her body swayed and writhed, dancing to the tune of her emotions. She turned to find the twins staring up at her expectantly.

"What do we do now?" They asked simultaneously, their eyes watching her now, taking in her every move.

She bit her lip and turned back to Alex.

"Well?" She asked him, unsure of whether or not he would answer.

He winced and finally sighed heavily.

"There's nothing we can do." He said mournfully. "She's been caught. It's only a matter of time before they get us too. All we have to do now is sit and wait."

"What?" Clarissa grabbed him by the shoulders. "What do you mean she's been caught? How? By who?"

He just closed his eyes and turned his head away.

"No." Clarissa felt as if she'd been punched in the stomach. She sank to the floor and tried to breathe. "It's not possible. They can't have caught her. They can't catch us!" She screamed. "They don't know how!"

"Well apparently now they do." He said bitterly.

Clarissa tried to understand how this could be happening, but her mind fought against the idea. It was impossible, she knew it, except, that it explained everything, why Lily had been away so long, why she hadn't even dropped in with a message for her or the twins. She understood that she was angry with Alex, but she had been upset that they had been neglected. Now of course, she knew why.

The twins were sitting on the floor, hands clasped tight, their eyes flicking from her to Alex constantly.

"I should have been there for her." Alex choked out. "I shouldn't have said those things. I- I miss her."

Her tattoos were going crazy; they twisted uncontrollably over her, wild and aggressive, their movements like aggravated snakes and then suddenly, they stopped and a wave of calm spread over her.

The twins stood together at once and looked at each other, then turning to Clarissa and Alex they spoke in unison.

"They're coming for us. We're running out of time and so is she. We need a plan."

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**Ok, what do we think of the others? I like the twins personally. I'll be delving into them some more later. Hope you've enjoyed this chapter! Cat**


	47. The Luckiest People on Earth

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Ok, so I finished breaking dawn today. It was amazing! That's all I'm saying.

**For anyone who would like to talk to me about it remember to PM, we don't want to spoil it for others.**

**Secondly, we've hit a massive 700 reviews people! Can I just say how incredibly flattered, honoured and grateful I am? Because before I started writing this story just over a year ago now, I thought I was really bad at writing. I almost failed English in my big junior exams. This year, thanks to the confidence you've given me I got an A! So I'm thanking you from the bottom of my heart because next June I'll be doing my Leaving to get into college and I'm more confident now that I can do well then I ever was before. So thank you.**

**Enjoy this chapter!**

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**Max's POV**

It's almost over, it's almost over, it's almost over.

I sat in the corner of the Liberty Tree Tavern in the Magic Kingdom, repeating these lines to myself over and over again. We were surrounded by people. From were I was sitting I could see Tom Sawyer Island and behind it the huge behemoth that was Big Thunder Mountain. To the right I could see the Haunted Mansion and the Hall of Presidents and if I really craned my neck I could see the top of the It's A Small World tower. I was in hell.

There were people filling every available space, the crowds packed in to the park's full capacity. I was surprised I hadn't passed out already today. I was a bundle of nerves, trying to screen every face at once. ITEX was gone, as far as we knew, but something within me, some gut instinct, told me not to relax, not to let my guard down here for even a second.

It was dinnertime. I mentally catalogued the horror that had been my day. First there had been Fang shaking me awake in the Animal Kingdom;

**_Flashback_**

_"Max." I felt a familiar tap on my hand and opened my eyes to see Fang leaning over me. He looked mildly worried, in his Fang way, so I stayed quiet and waited for him to explain._

_"There're people in the park already." He whispered. He glanced over the edge of our branch root and turned back to me. "They're headed our way."_

_"What, like employees, security, clowns in suits?"_

_He shook his head. "Customers."_

_I sat up. "What time is it?"_

_"Seven in the morning."_

_I shook my head. "That can't be right."_

_I crawled over, trying to avoid being seen, and shook Nudge lightly. Her eyes snapped open instantly and I was reminded again how much she'd grown up. Once upon a time, Nudge had been the hardest to wake up._

_"What time did you tell me the parks opened at?" I asked quickly and quietly._

_"Excluding magic hours, at this time of year? 9 mostly. Why?"_

_I pointed over the edge of the tree, to the crowd of people making their way towards us._

_"Oh." Nudge glanced at her watch. "Seven? That can't be right. Those people shouldn't be here."_

_"I thought so." I looked at the crowd and back at the flock. Fang was peering over the edge to watch the little group of tourists; he frowned and, glancing at me, switched on his own personal stealth mode. Nudge pulled out her laptop and quietly started to search for something that could explain their presence. I was starting to panic now. If they weren't supposed to be here, maybe they were coming for us. I wiped away my panic and looked at the four other sleeping forms around me. I had a better way of finding out why they were here. I tapped Angel and she sat up._

_"Others?" She asked quickly. I nodded and she frowned. "Hold on."_

_I watched her for a second and then she smiled at me._

_"It's fine, they're just here for the early morning safari. They're Disney hotel guests."_

_I nodded and relaxed. I watched as Nudge let out a sigh of relief and close up her laptop. Fang appeared beside me and took my hand carefully. I smiled up at him and he leaned closer to me. Nudge yawned and Angel giggled._

_"We're still a little tired." She said softly. "Can we go back to sleep for a while?"_

_"Sure, take as long as you want." I said petting her head as Fang and I knelt beside her. Nudge brushed past me to lie down and I caught her hand and squeezed it lightly in thanks. Her response had been quick and unquestioning and I was grateful. She nodded to me and lay down beside Angel._

_Fang pulled me up to a standing position and then hoisted me up into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled._

_"Careful." I teased softly. "You might pull a muscle."_

_"You obviously don't know how light you are." He teased back, carrying me back to our little branch root. "It's almost too easy."_

_"Maybe I should make it harder." I teased, pushing my hands through his hair._

_"Hmm, maybe." His eyes blazed and he leaned his head closer to mine. "But right now, you're making it much easier to hold you closer."_

_I kissed him lightly on the lips and he let me down slowly, letting my legs free to bury his hands in my hair. He opened the kiss, taking it where he wanted and leading me along for the ride._

_I pulled apart from him and sat down, leaning against the wood of the branch root, pulling his hand down with me. He knelt down and planted one hand by my hip and one above my head. "You never cease to amaze." He said softly and I pulled his face down to mine. He switched his weight to his left elbow and ran his right hand up and down my side, making me shiver._

_"Cold?" He teased, smiling as I shook my head. He dropped kisses on my nose down the side of my face to my throat, and I ran my hands up and down his back. Reaching tentatively under his shirt, I ran a hand up his torso, feeling the tense muscles in his chest and the warmth that emanated off him. He reached down and caught my hand as it started to pull off his shirt._

_"Let's remember to keep this PG shall we?" He teased._

_I scowled and he laughed softly. He pulled back from me a little and stared at my face._

_I was breathing heavily trying to get myself under control. He looked so serene and together. How could he be so calm, when I was so excited? He ran his knuckles lightly over my cheek and I shivered._

_"How come I'm the one who's shaking and you're absolutely fine?" I asked bitterly._

_"I've had years of practice reigning in my emotions." He said simply. "It just comes naturally now."_

_"That's not fair." I pouted and he chuckled. His eyes softened and he stroked my hair lightly._

_"I love you." He said softly. I felt a thrill go through me._

_"I love you too." I put my hand over his. It felt good to say it. In fact, it felt better than good. It felt amazing. It felt even better to hear it said back._

_I felt a sudden shift in the air all of a sudden and Fang frowned. I lifted my hand and mouthed 'what'. He shook his head and closed his eyes. Suddenly he was behind me._

_I sat up. "Fang?"_

_"Sorry." He said smiling at me. "I was trying to freeze your face, so I could remember it just how it was, but . . . I couldn't freeze time. I can now, but . . . it was weird."_

_I watched the others starting to move so I pulled myself up and lightly kissed his cheek._

_"Maybe, you were more preoccupied then you thought." I teased and flashing him a quick smile I turned to the others._

_"Right gang." I nodded to Angel. "This one's in charge, since she already knows the plans of these places backwards. Just remember not to wander off on your own, even with your phones. This place is going to be full of people. So pick a buddy and stick with them." Nudge took a step closer to Angel, the Gasman shared a small high five with Iggy and when Fang stepped up behind me I slipped my hand into his. "Also, let's try and remember Total isn't technically supposed to be here and if anyone asks, he's a toy dog."_

_The flock nodded and we took off one by one. Well we couldn't exactly walk down the side of the tree now could we?_

_Angel suggested we fly over the safari, but I was afraid someone might spot us so we flew straight over to the Magic Kingdom and walked in the front gates with everyone else, slotting our newly printed tickets through the clean little machines. I had been nervous the minute I'd seen the crowds and Fang had grabbed my hand._

_"They're gone Max." He said softly. "No one's looking for us anymore. We're not being hunted. Relax."_

_"I'm trying it's just so hard. It seems so wrong." I cringed against him as a large group of Japanese tourists bustled past us._

_"I know." He said and I could feel his accelerated pulse jumping erratically with every new passerby. "Just try to ignore it."_

_**End Flashback**_

We had spent the rest of the day moving around Disney being assaulted by characters and tourists on every side, eating and queuing, eating and queuing. I'd never really been in a queue before Disneyland, but I'll tell you something. I never wanted to be in one again. The claustrophobic tunnels, the constant press of strangers on all sides, the intense boredom, this was hell on earth. I knew Fang felt the same way, because he stood very close to me at all times and kept his hand tight in mine. Iggy also kept close, his breathing was at times far too fast to be comfortable, but he remained seemingly calm for the kids. We all did. As the older half of the flock our memories of the School were more vivid and our fears more ingrained, but we refused to ruin their fun.

The day had dragged on as I saw enemies in everyone that passed. A little girl had dropped her ice cream in my path and I had jumped four foot in the air. I had been jostled, shoved and even run over by automated wheelchairs. I knew my butt had been touched at least twice and it had not been Fang. I was tired, nervous, angry and frustrated, but most of all, I was grateful. Mostly because it was over. But also the kids had really enjoyed the day and God knows I would never have to suffer through it again, at least not in this life. We'd see about the next one because I'd come to the conclusion that this might just be my own personal Hell. Once I had been separated from Fang by a lumbering idiot who had ploughed his way straight through our clasped hands and I had almost lost my reason. His hand in mine had been the only thing keeping me sane. When he had found me again in the crush of people I had been in a fighting stance, my eyes darting from person to person, terrified that any one of them could suddenly go Eraser. It had taken him ten minutes to calm me down and twice that to find the others again in the mayhem.

So here I sat, near the end of the day, just thanking my lucky stars that it was almost over. I leaned into Fang and he draped his arm over my shoulders. The kids had gone to the bathroom and Iggy was finally able to breathe almost normally. I could see his hands shaking under the table.

"Let's never do this again." I said almost cheerfully.

"Amen to that." Iggy replied.

Fang put his hand lightly on Iggy's shoulder in concern.

"You ok Ig?" He asked sympathetically.

"I'm ok now I think." He shook his head. "It was the last one that got me, the electronic bears."

We all shuddered. "The country bears jamboree." I groaned.

"Well at least they seem to be enjoying it." Fang said trying to look on the bright side.

"That's true." Iggy said sighing. "Do you guys ever wonder if our lives would have been different if we'd gotten out of the School earlier?"

Fang glanced at me and squeezed my shoulders. "All the time." He said gently.

I frowned, looking at the two of them. "How so?"

"Well, for one thing." Iggy started. "We might not be quite so claustrophobic."

"Yeah and we also might not be quite so alive." I pointed out, feeling Fang stiffen at the word alive. "Jeb was the only way we could get out AND survive. Otherwise it would have been suicide. He might not be my favourite person in the world, but without him we never would have gotten out of there and then lived on afterwards."

"True." Iggy nodded. "But what if he'd gotten us out sooner?"

I shook my head. "Then we wouldn't have Angel and we might not have had Gazzy. No. Things are best the way they happened. I think we did the most we could with our lives."

Fang growled and I turned to look at his pained face.

"Excluding about four years." I said gently and he looked sadly down at me, his eyes conveying a world of regret.

"I had a dream once." Iggy said quietly. "Where we never became avian-hybrids and we never met and I watched all of our lives play out before us as they would have been if we'd never been chosen by the School and do you know something?"

Fang and I looked at each other and then he asked.

"What?"

"The dream turned out to be a nightmare." He sighed. "Angel and the Gasman lived a life full of loneliness, constantly reaching out for love from their parents and receiving only the cold, cruel discipline of a madman. Nudge lived a life surrounded by material goods, wanting for nothing except a sympathetic ear and a little acknowledgement for her skills. I lived a boring life in Washington DC, and became a professional chef, but I married a woman I didn't love and was killed in a hit and run. Fang was killed in a knife fight at fifteen, angry at the world for the emptiness he felt inside of him and Max . . . Max, you were never born. You never existed . . . never loved, never fought, never mothered. It was the worst future I could possibly imagine. We'd all led sad excuses for lives."

He stared at us both in his blind way and he sighed.

"That morning, I woke up, happy to be scarred, happy to be blind, but most of all, happy to be surrounded by people who love me despite everything. I was so grateful for everything I had. That was the day after you came back Fang. The day I realised I had six months left to live. And do you know what?" He leaned in close and took our hands in his. "Despite that, I was still grateful." He leaned back and sighed. "We are the luckiest people on earth, because we have never ending, unconditional love."

Fang and I stared at him for a second and then we looked at each other. I leaned against his shoulder and watched him thinking, his eyes never leaving mine. Finally, I smiled at him and he smiled tentatively back.

I turned to Iggy and took his hand.

"While we're having serious conversations, I want to tell you a few things Ig."

He nodded and I continued.

"In case I never get a chance to say it again, I'm sorry for the last four years, for the destruction I've caused and the strain and pressure I've put on you. I'll regret it forever." He opened his mouth but I stopped him. "Secondly, before that time, I regret nothing. I am so lucky to have had the chance to spend my life with you, it has been an honour and a pleasure. I wouldn't change a thing. I'm so unbelievably glad that you were along for the ride. Lastly, I am so glad that you have Alice and I'm so happy for you both, so for God's sake, do me a favour and don't make the same mistake we did." I looked sadly at Fang. "Don't waste a minute of your time with her and don't let her go for no good reason. Treasure her and love her and keep her safe. That's all I ask."

He nodded, his eyes brimming with tears and I sat back in to Fang's arms, satisfied that I had said what needed to be said.

It was at that moment that the kids came rushing back to the table. They'd been caught up with the Disney characters floating around the room. I figured it was about time we paid for the bill and skedaddled. I could see Pluto edging dangerously close to our table and if there was one thing I was not in the mood for it was some loon dressed up in a yellow dog suit waving goofily at me.

Fang stood up to pay the check and while he was gone Angel sidled up to me.

"Max?"

"Yes sweetheart?"

"I was wondering."

"Mm-hm?"

"There's just one more thing I'd like to do tonight."

I raised my eyebrows. "Angel, the park is closing in ten minutes."

"No." She shook her head smiling. "It's not, the fireworks are on tonight. Can we stay please please please? I know a place where we can sit and watch them without the crowds."

I narrowed my eyes, but once again I felt the pull of those Bambi eyes. The same eyes that had pulled Fang into allowing her to keep Total and convinved my Mom into signing Angel up for a credit card in her name, a plan Jeb had thankfully been able to thwart. And here I was, once again falling like a fool for those adorable big blue eyes. Two more seconds and I was sold. Next stop fireworks. When Fang came back I explained the change of plan.

"Pushover." He said in my ear.

I raised my eyebrow and pointed at the small, smelly, talking dog in Iggy's backpack.

Fang grimaced and I laughed at his discomfort.

"I'm never going to let that go you know."

"I like the idea of never." He said quietly, hugging me close.

"Me too."

Angel led us to a small café at the edge of Tomorrowland and motioned to us to go up. "This is where Tinkerbell flies from, but if we sit in the right place, no one will bother us."

I nodded and the six of us, plus our smelly dog, jumped and fluttered gently down onto the roof. Picking a spot well out of the way of the employees we settled down, all sitting packed in close. Fang's arms were curled around me and I was sitting between his legs, my knees pulled up to my chin. Angel was sitting to my right leaning against my legs and Nudge sat behind her leaning on Fang. Gazzy was to my left, his elbow resting on my knee and Iggy sat next to Fang, his legs supporting Gazzy. I felt whole, I felt safe, I felt loved. As the music started up and Tinkerbell took flight Iggy leaned in to my ear.

"Bit thoughtless taking the blind guy to see fireworks." He said jokingly. "Not that it was your idea, but honestly sometimes you're such a pushover." I narrowed my eyes and turned my head towards him slightly.

"Did Fang tell you to say that?" I asked sweetly. Hearing muffled laughter from both boys behind me, I cheerfully thumped my fist down on Fang's knee. There was a sharp intake of breath behind me and a short hiss and Fang's laughter had stopped abruptly. Iggy on the other hand was still snickering. I turned to look at Nudge and Angel and we all rolled our eyes simultaneously. "Boys." Nudge scoffed and then we were all laughing. So as we watched the fireworks explode magnificently overhead and I snuggled back into Fang's warm body. I couldn't help but think Iggy was right. Even if we only had a short time, we truly were the luckiest people on earth.

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**It was my little cousin's birthday today. He went to the circus. I love Disneyland I have to say, but looking at it from Max's point of view, I knew it would be awful for her. So I'll leave you with that and remind those of you who've finished breaking dawn that I'd love to talk so pm me! Thanks again, Cat**


	48. It Was Bliss

**Ok so, I've finally started my last year in school, with a nice big common room with couches and a toaster. So I'm going to be pretty busy studying and going to 18ths but I'll try to update as frequently as possible!**

**Enjoy!**

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**Fang's POV**

We touched down finally in Arkansas, leaving Disneyworld far behind. It had been an ordeal that Max, Iggy and I would take a while to recover from, but the mental scars of Disneyworld were beginning to heal. Perhaps I was being slightly melodramatic, but I knew one thing for sure. I was NEVER going back there again, not even for the kids.

Having skimmed past Georgia early that morning, we had broken our fast in good old Alabama. The dusty, old, roadside diner never knew what hit it, as we chomped and guzzled our way through four meals each . . . and paid for it. Obviously 'Dine and Dash' was still a popular game round those parts because the owner watched us like a hawk. Ironic really.

By the time we'd finally hauled our asses out of the diner and back into Alabama skies it was eight . . . in the morning. We'd gotten up at a record five o'clock, for our cross state trip. Considering we had to be in Colorado by tomorrow it was no surprise. It had certainly helped that Max had wanted to get out of Disney as fast as humanly (or avain hybridly) possible.

So here we were in Arkansas. We'd had nothing to eat since the fast food joint halfway across Mississippi and I figured it was about time we indulged once again in the incredible pleasure of feeding ourselves. I conveyed all of this to Max in one, carefully thought out sentence.

"Food?"

She nodded and, pulling in our wings, we headed off through the woods in the direction of a Pizza Hut that Nudge had spotted from above.

I watched the flock around me out of the corners of my eyes. Max and Gazzy were having a private chat to my right, strolling side by side seemingly oblivious to the rest of us. I noticed that Max no longer had to bend her head to talk to him and it hit me once again how much the flock had grown in my absence. Nudge and Angel were speeding ahead, racing each other to the food, with Total bouncing at their heels.

I noticed Iggy walking steadily beside me, obviously listening for my footsteps, his hand slightly in front of him to help avoid trees. I felt a wave of pride at his independence.

"So you and Alice then?" I asked him, wondering exactly how much he knew about Alice's 'situation' at home.

He grinned widely, the first sign of a love struck swain. "Yeah, shame she couldn't come with us."

"Yeah." I put my hand lightly on his shoulder to steer him around a rock. "I suppose it wouldn't have been good though . . . in her condition."

Iggy frowned in confusion, his brow furrowed, "You mean how she doesn't have any wings? She's perfectly capable of looking after herself you know, most people don't have wings and they get on fine, we're the weird ones, we're the ones with the 'condition'!"

With that I had my answer. Iggy was completely in the dark, in more ways than one. Alice had told him nothing. I felt a pang deep in my chest and wondered if she ever would, while filing away a reminder to mention his ignorance to Max. Best to make sure she didn't mention it.

"Sorry Ig, didn't mean any offence by it." I said to placate my defensive brother and he shrugged a little in forgiveness.

"Sure, it's just that . . . she's not handicapped you know? I'm the one with the handicap and the freakish wingspan."

"You're right, you're totally a weirdo," I said jokingly. "I don't know anyone else on this earth who eats his burger with cream cheese instead of ketchup!"

We laughed and he relaxed again, but I couldn't help but wonder how long it would be before he needed to be told about the child he'd never meet.

I watched the green and brown woods fade as we walked and saw it become grey pavements and jet black tarmac roads. The metal vehicles in every size, shape and colour zoomed past, unaware or uncaring of our presence. We were nobody, but to me, we were everybody. Funny how your life seems so insignificant when you put it in perspective.

I felt a hand slip into mine and squeeze and I turned my head to smile at Max.

"Two days and we'll be back in a real house." She said softly. "With showers and toilets and real beds. Sleeping out is great, but I think I've gone soft. I'm already missing the creature comforts."

"I know what you mean." I said, thinking of the crick in my neck from sleeping without a pillow. "I feel so . . . old."

"Tell me about it." She rolled her eyes. "One minute we're out fighting crime, saving the world one ITEX at a time, then suddenly boom, we're useless."

"Well, I wouldn't exactly call four years, boom." I sighed. "It sure felt long to me."

"Me too." She leaned against me and I pulled my hand from hers and placed it on her shoulder.

"It feels weird that we're married." She said after a while.

"Yeah." I reached out with my left hand and covered her outstretched hand with mine. We both stared at the gold bands around our fourth fingers. It was then that I realised we'd stopped walking.

"That's because we're here." Angel said from my side. "And it's weird that you're married because you're not _really_ married, just like my name isn't _really_ Angelica. You're just _technically_ married. You never walked down the aisle"

"Oh." Max swallowed and pulled her hand away from mine. "I suppose you're right."

I felt a pang of disappointment at the thought that I wasn't truly married to Max and it was with a heavy heart that I watched her pull away from me and walk into the pizza hut. I sighed.

"What was that about?" I asked Angel sadly, wondering why she had to go and spoil the moment.

She shrugged. "I felt like making someone else sad for a change." And before I could ask what she meant she was gone, disappearing into the restaurant.

I had a bad feeling about what had just gone down but I'd wait to question Angel when we were alone. Taking a brief scan of the area as an added precaution I stepped into the pizza place. Max was ordering up at the front counter and Gazzy and Nudge had saved a table. I assumed Iggy and Angel had gone to the bathroom, it had been a pretty long trip. Making an executive decision completely unbiased by a need to be close to her at all times I made my way towards Max to help her with the immense pile of food she had piled on the three trays in front of her.

"So do you want to sleep in Arkansas tonight or should we make a last burst for Oklahoma before dusk?" I asked from behind her. She jumped and turned her head to glance at me. Letting out air she leaned slightly back into me.

"Thank God it's just you." She said softly.

"Who else would it be?" I asked quietly, worried by her edginess.

"I don't know . . . but I've got this weird feeling . . ." She furrowed her brow and bit her lip. "Like I'm being watched or something."

I stared at her. I'd learned never to ignore our instincts. I did a quick sweep of the restaurant and then met her nervous gaze.

"Should we leave?" I asked under my breath.

She shook her head slightly and leaned up to whisper in my ear.

"I'm not sure if I'm being paranoid but it's not that kind of watching." She leaned heavily against me and I put my hands on her shoulders to steady her.

"Max, don't collapse, not here." I begged. "You've been doing so well this far, there's not long to go. Just try and keep them out for a little longer."

She nodded and pulled back from me. "I am." She murmured, "They're not here, it's . . . it's something else, something more sinister." We stared into each other's eyes and I wished we could just be left in peace. I leaned my forehead against hers and she sighed.

"Hungry?" She asked lightly. I smiled and dropped a kiss on her nose.

"Depends who's offering." I teased and grabbing two trays of pizzas from the counter I made my way to our table. Halfway across the room though, I couldn't resist a glance back at Max who was standing where I'd left her, staring at me. Her mouth had fallen open in shock and her eyes were wide and blinking. I smirked when she caught me looking and blushed.

At the table the gang started to dig into the pizzas the moment they left my hands. As it was I just managed to dig out two for myself and squeeze in beside Iggy. When Max came over she had recovered from her blush but she avoided my gaze and when she sat next to me and my arm brushed hers she jumped. I felt a jolt in the pit of my stomach at her reaction. Was that good or bad? Was she excited but nervous or embarrassed and afraid? For once I couldn't tell, and it scared the living daylights out of me.

We all finished our food quickly and dumping the trays, left for the woods. Max had decided that it was best to stay here for tonight and try for Colorado tomorrow. So we edged our way into the woods until we found a good spot and we started to settle down for the night. After we'd checked out backpacks to see what needed to be replaced, restocked or refilled Max held out her fist and we all stacked. Again I felt Max shiver when our bare skin touched and I worried and puzzled over what it meant.

I took first watch and as the others drifted off to sleep I sat against a tree watching Max stoking the fire. Finally she came and sat next to me leaning her head on my shoulder in what was now a familiar and comfortable position. I relaxed. Everything was fine. We were fine.

"Fang?"

"Hmm?"

"About earlier . . ."

I felt like kicking myself, why had I said it? It had been so incredibly stupid and unnecessary and-.

"It's just that I wanted to . . . I wanted to make sure that you . . ." She stopped and looked away. I had stopped breathing. I was completely lost as to where this was going and I wasn't sure I would like it.

"Fang," She said finally. "Do you need . . . do you want . . ." Suddenly I thought I might know what she was referring to.

"I don't need anything but you." I said softly. "I don't want anything but you. Whatever you decide to give me of yourself, is enough."

"Oh." That soft note of surprise was almost carried away by the slight wind but I heard it and it surprised me.

We sat in silence and I listened to her breathing, the steady in and out that was keeping her alive. I had so little time left before it would stop forever.

"But if I . . ." Max started again after a few minutes. "If I . . . wanted to . . .would you?"

"I'd have to be mad not to." I whispered. She smiled up at me and kissed me lightly on the lips. When she pulled away I stroked my hand through her hair.

"Although," I whispered. "I would suggest we wait until we have a room of our own." I nodded towards the others, asleep only a few feet from us.

"Point taken." She breathed.

"I love you." I said kissing her again.

"Hmmm, I love you more." She smiled back and then buried her face in my chest.

"God you two, get a room." Iggy pronounced teasingly as he came back from collecting firewood.

I looked down at Max, amusement written on my face, to see her shocked and blushing.

"Hey," I whispered down to her. "Don't mind him. He's just jealous his girlfriend isn't here keeping him warm."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around my waist as I pulled her on to my lap and we sat like that for hours, taking turns dozing off and keeping watch.

The ground was hard and I could feel the roots of the tree pushing against my right thigh. It was windy and cold and at one point it began to drizzle. It should have been miserable.

It was bliss.

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**This took me a while and I'm not entirely happy with it, but when I do put it up eventually I hopefully will be. Hope you're all having an easy time getting back into the routine of school or college or whatever it is you're doing!**

**ps, Arkansas is pronounced Arkansaw right? But Kansas is pronounced Kansas? What's with that?**

**Cat**


	49. Our Walk To Freedom

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Ok, I apologise profusely for the massive delay. This year will be worst than most for updates. I am absolutely SWAMPED with work. As I write this I should be studying Physics but I've taken some much needed time out and I can do it later. Anyway I'm hoping I can update again next month if I'm lucky. I do apologise but I WILL keep up this story so don't get nervous if my updates are few and far between.

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**Max's POV**

It was the most breathtaking and yet heart-wrenching thing I had ever seen.

There before me lay the view from my childhood, from the happiest days of our lives, and there, abandoned in the middle of it all, was an old, rundown country house, our home.

Standing on the mountaintop, overlooking our serene, isolated little valley, I felt that same sense of belonging as when Fang had walked through the door of our house in Florida, the feeling that something missing had finally clicked back into place. A sense of completeness and peace washed over me and I wondered why I had never thought to return here before. A faint smile spread over my lips as I spotted familiar landmarks; the strawberry plants we'd harvested every summer, the big tree we'd slept in once or twice out under the stars, the small cave I could just pick out, hidden in the opposite mountainside. I felt Fang's hand slip into mine and I leaned into him slightly.

"It's so beautiful," I said gently, "so simple, so idyllic."

He nodded and I watched as Nudge, Gazzy and Angel spiralled around the valley, ducking and diving in every direction.

"It's kind of sad though too." Iggy mused. "In an odd sort of way, as if it's been waiting for us to come back for years."

I sighed thinking of this poor house of ours rotting away waiting patiently for our return and being forever disappointed, The home or our sweet, childish little world, when life was simple and taken for granted. No fear, no death, simply peace and childish games. After living in cages, this isolated valley had been a heaven and a sanctuary to a bunch of lonely, confused kids.

Fang squeezed my hand.

"Do you want to go inside?" He asked carefully.

I nodded and I turned to Iggy, "coming?" I asked.

"Yeah." He nodded thoughtfully. "For old times' sake."

We threw ourselves off the embankment, snapping our wings out just before we began to plummet, the rush of air made me giddy, but I was still sober enough to feel the red hot flames burning up and down my scars. Wincing slightly, I wobbled in the air. Fang shot me a look and, swooping underneath me, slowly lifted until my hands could rest lightly on his shoulders to steady myself. So we flew down, our wings beating in unison, Fang keeping me stable all the way.

Landing was a sticky business as we'd never tried to land together before, but when I stumbled Fang had already turned to catch me. No one has ever had a right hand man as amazing, helpful, caring, devilishly good looking, pick any positive adjective and he is probably it, as I have. The thought occurred that maybe sometime soon I should tell him so, before . . .

I felt a pang in my heart knowing that I didn't have long. Turning to the house I tried to hide the fear of the inevitable in my eyes, but the ever perceptive Fang slipped his hand into mine and squeezed gently. I squeezed back and then reached for Iggy's hand. He turned to me and smiled, knowing as I did that this was the exact way we had arrived at this house for the first time.

_**Flashback**_

_Ten years old, I stepped out of the car mistrustfully, my eyes darting around nervously as I searched for whitecoat__s and erasers in every corner of the bright valley. Fang was next to slip out of the car, his hands curled tightly and head held high. I watched as he too searched our immediate vicinity and then nodded to him, secretly signalling that it was clear. He stepped up beside me and our hands shot out at the same time, too nervous to be embarrassed we clung to each other in shared unease._

_We turned as Iggy stumbled out of __the SUV, his legs shaking. Still unable to walk comfortably due to his recent blinding, he flailed wildly until I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards us. _

"_It's ok Ig." I whispered in his ear out of habit. "We've checked the area. We're safe. __I think."_

_He nodded quickly and Fang and I turned our attention to Jeb who was slipping the two year old Angel into a baby carrier on his back. He smiled at us and taking Nudge and Gazzy's hands he gently urged us forward. Fang and I glanced at each other and I nodded. Nudging Ig's hand I took a step forward and then another. With that, we had begun our walk to freedom. _

_**End Flashback**_

Stepping forward as one, we, the three eldest, retraced our first steps on the road to freedom, but today, instead of shuffling timidly, jumping at shadows, we strode confidently with the lean battle readiness of true fighters. We were prepared, we were powerful, we moved as one, with the fluidity of those who knew their partners better then themselves.

We reached the open door together and, with our heads held high, we stepped over the threshold. My mind immediately flung me into the past and looking around the room all I could see was how things used to be; the old grandfather clock against the far wall of the hallway, the forest green wallpaper that formerly covered the now decrepit walls and the light cream carpet that had faded away now to show the wooden floorboards underneath.

As our eyes began to adjust to the darkness we started to explore the house, Iggy merely changing his stance slightly to account for the possibility of rotting floorboards. Fang and I were more cautious, uncomfortable as we were walking in the dark. After a short trip down memory lane in my room we made our way to Fang's and the two of us watched the sunset, _our_ sunset, with the younger half of the flock zipping through the skies in front.

It was beautiful, and again I felt a sharp pang at the knowledge that I would not grow old with this memory. I had but a week to relive it in my mind and I would never sit in this room again.

The sun set for the last time and the room was plunged into a soft darkness. My head resting on Fang's shoulder I let go of my thoughts and allowed myself to just enjoy the moment.

* * *

**Ok sorry again as I said. I've finally gotten a laptop so hopefully I'll have more little in between times where I'll just be able to quickly type ideas which should speed things up a bit. I hope there are still people out there interested in this story although if I've lost everyone it's no one's fault but my own. Talk to you all soon ******** Cat**


	50. Tell Me How!

**Ok, hi again, faster update today cause I've finally got a word processor! Yay! Ok so last chap was really a sort of warm up filler chap because I was out of action for so long : ( So here it is, it's Fang : ) It may help to reread the second last chapter because otherwise it could be a little confusing : S the whole Angel thing is my reference in case anyone gets lost or confused and I appreciate that it has been sometime since most people will have read this. So on with the show :P**

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**Fang's POV**

I stretched my arms wide and swung my legs slightly. The tree branch I sat on, wide enough to comfortably accommodate both Angel and I, swayed lightly with the momentum of my limbs and gave me a comforting rocking sensation. I stared out at the dark vista before me, the moonlight sprinkled over the roof of the house and the tips of the mountains surrounding it and the wind rustled through the grass and leaves around me. Max and Iggy were sleeping upright, on the branch opposite ours, their backs holding each other up. I watched Iggy reach forward in his sleep and Max slide deeper down onto the branch, a small subconscious frown on her face.

'Angel?' I thought.

Silence.

I rolled my eyes. 'Angel I know you're listening to my thoughts'

"Am not."

'Exactly.' I sighed. 'What is up with you lately?'

"Nothing, I'm fine."

'Angel I swear, if you lie to me one more time I will not be responsible for my actions.' I thought darkly. 'You're lying, you're invading on my thoughts constantly, and you're purposefully upsetting Max. So spill. What - is - wrong?'

"There's nothing wrong with me." She sent back sharply. "I'm not the one who's dying. She is."

My jaw set and I watched as Max, unaware of Angel's bitter comment, shifted in her sleep, her hand unclenching and her mouth twitching into a sweet smile. Bittersweet for me, watching with the painful knowledge that soon all I would have was a failing memory of her.

'She's not dead yet!' I retorted 'And you'd better not forget it! Now tell me what is hurting you Angel, I want to help.'

"You can't help me," the thought reverberated around my head in a cutting whisper, "you can't even help yourself! You are a pitiful excuse for a human being right now, useful to no one."

My fist began to clench, but I realised then that that was exactly what she wanted, she wanted me to be hurt, she wanted me to be angry, she wanted me to feel like she did.

Who knew that eventually all those therapy sessions I'd had at the orphanage would actually come in handy some day?

'Hurting me, isn't going to make you feel any better.' I nudged the thought in her direction lightly, my mind beginning to get used to the idea of another presence. 'In fact, in the long run it will only make you feel guilty and then it will get worse.'

"I don't want it anymore Fang take it away like you take yours away!" She screamed suddenly in my mind "Make them go away!"

'Woah, woah,' I turned to Angel beside me. Her eyes were squeezed tight and her body curled up in a ball, her arms locked around her knees. I put my hand softly on her hand and spoke softly.

"Take what away?" I asked carefully. "What do I take away?"

"Your feelings," She sobbed. "How do you do it Fang? How do you make it all go away? All the pain, the hurt, the fear, the love. I don't want to feel anymore. I don't want to." Tears began to stream down the ten year old's face, her body shaking with each sob.

I stared at her stunned. Had I even fooled the mindreader? Had I been so good at hiding emotions that they had escaped even Angel? More importantly, when did things get this bad? Since when did Angel want to be numb?

I reached out and put my arms around my little sister.

"Angel, I can't." I said sadly.

"Yes you can!" She cried. "You did it! Tell me how!"

"I never made them go away Angel, I just kept them separately from my reactions. I still felt them I just ignored them. And Angel it's not healthy and when they get back out, it hurts more than anything. You can't suppress them forever. Eventually they seep back in and when they do you don't know how to deal with them. You can't control them anymore and they rip through you destroying all your defenses."

"No!" She sobbed. "You're lying! I can't feel your feelings in you! They're not there, make me like you!"

"You want to be like me? You want to feel like this?" I growled and I truly opened my mind to her. I let her into the hidden corner of my mind where I kept my feelings. I let her see the damage they had wrought on my soul. I showed her my anger, my hatred, my pain, my suffering, and my fear. I felt her shudder violently and her presence faded from my mind completely. I opened my eyes and she was staring at me, her eyes shimmering with tears and fear.

"I didn't know," She choked out, "I'm so sorry."

I nodded and with that I turned away, returning silently to my watch. I saw Max shift again out of the corner of my eye and I felt Angel turn away from me to sleep. Gazzy let out a small snore as Nudge shuffled nearer to the trunk of the tree and the wind continued to rustle through the trees. Soon I heard the quiet sound of Angel's breathing slow and I knew she'd fallen asleep.

I was left alone, among the moonlit peaks and the rustling leaves, to contemplate that deep corner of my mind and the clawing fear that resided there.

* * *

Alex shot up and gulped in air, his mind screaming in pain. He saw his own hand reaching far out in front of him, grasping for a life line.

"Lily" He breathed.

He could still feel the intense pain up and down his body from lying in that bright cage. He checked his hand for the deep, angry burns he had seen only seconds before but they were gone now, his skin had returned to it's natural soft tan colour.

It had been a dream, nothing but a dream.

He shook his head and rubbed his tired eyes, leaning forward to balance himself on the hard, dusty ground. He stood up and desperate for a glass of water, headed to the stream he could hear flowing nearby.

Two pairs of violet eyes followed his every move from their corner of the camp.

The twins turned to each other wordlessly and rose as one. Their hands clasped they walked after Alex, leaving behind only Clarissa, fast asleep on the forest floor, her black tattoos moving restlessly, showing her dreams to the world.

Nick and Amber silently followed Alex to the waterside, where he splashed his face with water. The droplets ran through his flaming hair as he stared at the water, breathing heavily. Suddenly, he lashed out, smashing his image in the river and howling in frustration. The twins flinched away, his pain seeping through the barriers they had erected between his mind and theirs. They felt Clarissa stir, back in the clearing, and her surprise at their absence. Glancing at each other the twins sent out a wave of calmness to their surrogate family members.

'His nightmares are getting worse.' Amber noted to her twin.

'There's nothing we can do.' Nick replied soundlessly. 'He must grieve.'

'It seems wrong to grieve for one who is not yet dead.'

'Can we die?'

'We grow so quickly, it seems hard to believe that we cannot.'

The two watched Alex as he stood, still unaware of their stare. He was at least a foot taller than he had been only the week before. He no longer looked like an eight year old boy, but like a teenager of fifteen. They themselves resembled children no younger than twelve, despite only having six years of earthly existence.

As their leader turned back to their clearing, the two followed soundlessly, their thoughts flying between them, in an attempt to figure out their life expectancy at the rate they were currently aging. Upon arriving at the camp they lay down beside Clarissa and shared their dreams.

* * *

**Ok. You like? I know it took a while, but I did have quite a bit of work to do so this was as early as I could make it. I hope this works seeing as it's pages and not word, but here's hoping :D Thanks for Reading. Cat**


	51. Like You're In Love

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* * *

**

Ok, again sorry it's been so long. If it's any comfort I haven't seen my two closest childhood friends since August I've been so busy, so me being late updating is not my worst crime at the moment. This is Max's POV again. I DO have a plan.

I soared over my Mom's neighbourhood and painful memories flashed back to me of the day I'd let myself plummet almost fatally. My scars flared but I ignored them and, catching a concerned look from a certain dark-haired boy, I pulled a stunt twist and flashed him a cheerful smile. He raised an eyebrow disbelievingly and I rolled my eyes.

I was a little nervous about seeing my mom. Actually I was more than a little nervous, I was absolutely bricking it, because I was going to have to tell her about my expiration date. Gazzy spun overhead and swooped down directly in front of me, grinning madly. I stopped mid-air, startled, but quickly switched into my own personal top gear, speeding dramatically after him and grabbing him by the waist. He was a welcome distraction from my dark thoughts and we commenced a tickle war mid flight. Angel and Nudge quickly came to his rescue and I found myself fighting off three squirming youngsters with fingers like demons. Even Total joined in, barking and yelping from Gazzy's backpack and using his feathery tail on anyone who came near him.

"Help!" I yelled laughing. "Team Max, Assemble!" Iggy swooped in and plucked the squirming Angel straight out from behind my back and hollering at the top of his voice swung her onto his back and flew with her weight as well as his own in the direction of Mom's house. Something sleek brushed against my ankle as I struggled with Gazzy and I felt Nudge's sharp nails being dragged from my midriff. She shrieked as Fang dangled her above me by her ankles.

"Put me down!" She squeaked indignantly. "This is sooooo undignified. I demand you put me down immediately otherwise I'm going to get real angry! You know you won't like me when I'm angry Fang! Seriously put me doooowwwwwwwwwnnnnnnn-"

This last was screamed as he released her and she struggled to right herself, but as always, good old Fang, ever the hero, swooped in to push her into the air and catch an upwards jet stream. He shot me a last glance of triumph before coasting lightly to the ground below and landing perfectly on mom's front doorstep.

Flipping Gazzy over my head judo style, I allowed us to freestyle tumble towards the ground and at the last second slowed our descent to land gracefully at Fang's side. I turned and gave Fang a 'beat-that' look and he smirked and before I could stop him, pressed his finger lightly on the buzzer.

I heard the doorbell ring through the house and felt my stomach clench.

I wasn't ready, I couldn't do this, couldn't face the reality that was staring me in the face here, so with one last terrified look at Fang, I did the grown-up thing and sprinted away. Catching the wind in my wings I was in the air seconds later and pouring on the speed. I didn't care where I went as long as it wasn't here, where I'd have to explain to my parents and stepsister that I had come to live out my final days in their house. I felt sick, I felt alone, I felt scared.

Things flashed by me in the air, flocks of birds, a passenger flight, two jet fighters, but they barely registered. I could feel my lungs burning, my wings aching and my scars ripping open, but I couldn't stop. I kept going until I could no longer stay in the air, until my heart gave out and my wings gave in. Landing badly I hit a tree trunk and winced as I felt my back bend in ways it shouldn't. I lay still for what seemed like hours and searched my soul for answers as to why I was a complete and utter coward. Eventually, the need to vomit was stronger than the need to stay still, so I crept on to my hands and knees to a hollow log in which I shamefully regurgitated my dinner. My eyes stung, my stomach was churning and my head hurt. On top of the physical pain I was thoroughly ashamed of myself. I could never remember a time when I had ever abandoned my flock before. There could have been anyone in that house; ITEX, Flyboys, killer mutant aliens, in this world nothing would surprise me. My heart raced as I though of the danger I might have left them in and I pushed myself up ready to take off back to the house. I was standing merely seconds before a voice came out of nowhere and I was suddenly wrapped tight and warm in someone's arms. I struggled frantically to break the grip, feeling my heart beating even faster than usual and my arms trapped in the stranger's hold, until I recognised the voice.

"Thank God I finally found you!" Fang mumbled in my ear. "What the hell happened to you?"

I sank into him and clung to his shoulders, hoping by some miracle that he would understand my fear.

"I can't do it Fang." I whispered. "I can't, not now, not ever." My breaths were coming too fast and I couldn't take them in properly as I gasped for air. He pulled back, hands on my face, concern in his eyes and leaves in his hair.

"Calm down Max," He said softly. "Relax, what can't you do?"

"I can't tell my mom about … this …" My hand flew to the back of my neck and I felt my heart wrench at the look of pain on his face.

"Max-" He started.

"Don't Fang, just don't." I barked. "I don't want to hear anything about how brave I've always been or how I can get through this and you know me and all the other bull people spin to make other people do things they don't want to. I cannot do this. I don't have it in me. Don't ask me to."

He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear and watched me solemnly through his dark brown eyes.

"I love you." He said quietly. "That was all I was going to say."

* * *

**ITEX HEADQUARTERS**

* * *

Lily lay perfectly still, her burning cage leaving her unable to move. She thought of the past, of her life after her escape and before her incarceration. The night they had escaped it had been cold, bone-chillingly cold.

_**Flashback**_

_Creeping down the badly lit corridor, the terrified band of merry mutants tiptoed to the nearest door. Sliding gently closer to it, Lily began to silently pick the lock while the others kept watch. Her mind slipping into the cold, dark keyhole and forcing the pins above the shear line, she smiled in relief. Having never tried her skills practically before she was very satisfied with the result. With only a hint of hesitation they all moved silently into the room. _

_A lot of things happened at once. _

_The lights flashed on, temporarily blinding the group, who stumbled backwards. __Lily hit the door. She felt Alex grab her arm and haul her up. The twins screamed loudly in unison and Clarissa yelled profanities as she pulled herself from the floor. A gunshot went off close to Lily's ear and Alex grunted. Another gunshot and the lights went out. Suddenly Lily could see again. Spotting the enemies in the room she grabbed a nearby chair and lifting it over her head flung it in the direction of two scientists. There was a crash, but she never saw the damage as she'd already turned to locate her next weapon. There were alarms going off now and she could feel her eardrums throbbing as the sound waves hit her delicate structure. She could see Clarissa to her right throwing everything she could get her hands on and Alex to her left had bested the man with the gun. There was blood dripping down his cheek but the bullet appeared only to have grazed his temple. The twins had found a table to hide under, the youngest of their group Lily knew they were terrified and their terror was only heightening her own. As the last whitecoat fell to the floor she grabbed Alex and Clarissa and pulled them under the table with the twins. She could hear the footsteps of the guards called to the room by the still-ringing alarm. Holding them all tight she wished they could be anywhere else, anywhere other than here, trapped in this world of tests and fluorescent lights and whitecoats, about to be recaptured and duly punished for their escape attempt. _

_The alarm had stopped. _

_She looked up cautiously. They were no longer under a table in a lab full of unconscious whitecoats. They were on a beach, at midnight, a beach, devoid of people, only them, sitting alone, in the dark, no alarms, no scientists, no guards, simply peace, silence and darkness._

**Once they had discovered where they were and how they'd got there they made their most important task not getting caught.**

"_So now that we've discovered we can travel through shadows, what do we do next?"_

_Lily and Alex glanced at each other. As the oldest Lily had taken the burden of leadership. Alex, not too far behind age-wise at only two weeks younger, had taken deputy. Clarissa's question was one they'd been ruminating over for some time, but they, as of yet, hadn't come up with an answer. _

"_Stay alive." Lily said eventually. "Right now that's our only priority." _

_Alex and Clarissa nodded but the twins seemed unconvinced. _

"_You are worried." They said in unison. "You are all worried."_

"_Of course we're worried, it's normal to worry." Alex said carefully._

"_This is true." They nodded thoughtfully. "However, pretending a surety one does not feel will only bring disaster upon us."_

_Alex leaned close into Lily's ear as the twins stood to leave. _

"_I hate it when they talk like fortune cookies." He whispered. Lily giggled and the twins turned together on the spot. _

"_Laughter is the best medicine." They said and as they left the campsite Lily and Alex couldn't contain their own laughter._

It hadn't taken long to discover that they each had their own abilities as well as their shadow walking. Then they had begun the art of perfecting them.

"_Hit me." Alex held his arms out wide._

"_Why?" Lily eyed him nervously._

"_Just do it, hit me." He repeated._

"_I don't think I should … I mean … Alex I-"_

"_Just trust me ok?"_

_She paused, her head tilted at an angle. Then she nodded, her fist edging out and cautiously tapping his chest. _

_He shook his head. "Not hard enough." He said laughing. "Really hit me this time, all your strength. Come on, what are you, afraid?"_

"_Of you?" She shook her head grinning. " No way, bring it on."_

_Her fist lashed out and connected hard with his chest … or at least it should have, if Alex hadn't already been hanging from the ceiling … the 30ft high ceiling._

"_How did you-?"_

"_You look like an ant from up here." He called down laughing. "A really bemused looking ant."_

**It had been 4 years since their escape from the Institute, 6 years since her 'birth' and too long since she had last seen her family. Not that it mattered anyway now. She was dying and there was nothing anyone or anything could do for her. They didn't truly need her, not the way the Flock needed Max. Her family were more capable, less fragile, despite all appearances to the contrary, they had grown up fast, they had had to. Alex would take good care of them, he always had before. Alex. The thought of him made her heart clench. She missed him terribly.**

"_Lily?" Alex waved his hand in front of her face. "Earth to Lily. You are spacing out on me."_

"_Sorry, what?" Lily sat up with a start and stared at Alex. "What's going on?"_

"_Wow, you really were spaced out. What were you thinking about?"_

_Lily blushed, unwilling to admit she had been thinking about him … again._

"_Just stuff." She said softly._

"_Cryptic." He grinned. "Do you mind me asking what kind of stuff maybe?"_

"_Why do you care?" She snapped._

_He shrugged. "Whatever. I just thought it must be something good to make you smile like that."_

"_Smile like what?" She asked cautiously. _

"_Like you're in love." He shrugged._

"_Don't be an idiot." She snapped and turned away blushing. She pretended to dig around in her bag for something, waiting for him to take the hint and leave. He was silent. She could still feel the strange heat the sensors never picked up emanating from his hand behind her on the log. Her blush wouldn't go down. Why did she have to crush on Alex of all people? Why did she have to complicate everything? Why wouldn't he get up from beside her? _

"_What are you looking for?" He asked eventually._

_Lily fought the urge to freeze and grabbed the closest thing to her hand and yanked it out of her bag._

"_This." She said triumphantly holding it up._

_He stared at her blankly._

"_Why?"_

_Lily looked in shock at the hairbrush in her hand. Typical. _

"_I … you … your hair is a mess?" She finished lamely._

"_It is?" Lily looked at Alex's permanently perfect flaming hair. _

"_Yes, definitely, it's all … askew."_

"_Oh … ok." He looked more confused then sceptical, but Lily still felt as if he could see straight through her horrendous cover. She couldn't think properly around him._

"_Here." She shoved the hairbrush into his arms and began to stand up._

"_Lily … I can't see it … would you mind?" He held the hairbrush tentatively out to her. Her stomach flipped at the notion that he needed her help, that he would ask for it, that he wanted it. She nodded slowly and took the hairbrush quietly from his hands, slipping behind him to begin rearranging his already perfect hair in a convincing way. After a few moments of lightly picking at bits here and there she made her way to the front and leaned back with a smile, as if admiring her work, watching his face._

"_Done." She said softly and returned her hairbrush to her bag._

"_So I'm no longer … askew?" He grinned._

"_No." She blushed. "You're officially skew-free."_

"_I feel so much safer now." He teased. "God knows what I would've done if you hadn't thought to get out your trusty hairbrush."_

_His sarcasm worried her a little, made her think he might suspect she hadn't been entirely truthful. His eyes danced with unspoken laughter and she cringed inside._

_He knew._

_She mentally slapped her own forehead and stood up quickly._

"_I'm going to go get some firewood." She said __hastily and headed for the welcoming shadows of the surrounding forest. Feeling a hand on her arm, she turned to glare at him. _

"_We don't need any more wood, if the fire gets any bigger the light will start to hurt. Why are you trying to avoid talking to me?"_

_Alex never stepped daintily around a topic; he always liked to get straight to the point. Lily wished the ground would swallow her up._

"_I'm not, I think we do need more wood for when this supply runs out."_

_Alex raised an eyebrow. "Within the next three hours? We could just fetch it later and talk now."_

"_Fine." Lily crossed her arms. "What do you want to talk about?"_

"_You … and why you're not talking to me."_

"_I am talking to you, we're talking now."_

"_No. We're arguing now, there's a significant difference."_

"_What do you want from me?" Lily shouted exasperated._

"_I don't know." Alex said carefully._

"_Great!" Lily yelled. "That's just great! Why are we even having this conversation if you don't even know what you want?!?"_

_Alex stared at her mesmerized. Her face was flushed, her eyes sparking and her hair was whipping madly in the air portraying her fury like a Medusa. She was magnificent in her anger._

"_I want _**you**_." He said gently._

"_I- what?" She stared at him, trembling slightly. "What did you say?"_

_He slowly, tentatively reached out a hand to her cheek. Her hair dropped to curl around her face gently, relaxing suddenly from its frenzied dance. His hand cupped her face lightly. She smiled slightly, her breathing shallow._

"_Who could have guessed I'd fall for my leader." He said wondrously. "I hate authority."_

"_Who could have guessed she'd fall right back." She breathed._

"_She did?" He grinned surprised._

"_How could she not?" She grinned back._

"_I love you." He whispered._

"_I love you too." She whispered back._

_**End Flashback**_

Lily choked back a sob, feeling her heart tearing to pieces all over again. She had no moisture left in her light-racked body for tears but the sentiment was there as the pain washed over her again. All the love, the beauty, the hope of that night had been destroyed the day she'd left. Alex's words on that day had made it clear that he had misjudged his feelings towards her. The pain of knowing that he would never love her was still almost more than she could bear, but bear it she must and in silence because her throat had finally stopped working. Her screams of pain, even her mewls of defeat and resignation had been cut off by the damage already done to her body. She was a mute. Whether it could be reversed or not was a moot point. She was dying anyway and the loss of her speech was the least of her worries. Now that they had captured her they knew how to trap her family. Because of her stupidity, they too would suffer this horrible fate and that guilt was what made the endless hours of silence and pain unbearable. She had too much time to think, too much time to reflect and remember, too much time to regret.

Lily lay perfectly still, her burning cage leaving her unable to move. She thought of the past, of her life after her escape and before her incarceration. Trapped in the cage of her mind she suffered for every mistake she had ever made a thousand times over and wished again and again for death.

**Ok. Let me know what you think, I know there wasn't much of Max in this one but I had an Alex moment and I had to write about him! I saw Coldplay on Sunday was amazing! What are peoples opinions on the twilight movie? It just came out here on Friday. I've seen it and have made my own judgements but I'm interested to hear others! PM me! Will post more when skiing :)**** Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it and Happy Holidays to everyone else! Wrapping presents as I type! Thanks for reading, Cat**


	52. Two Tortured Souls In Love

**Ok, Happy New Year to all and sundry, unless you don't follow the Gregorian calendar in which case … a very merry unbirthday? Skiing in France currently, I do love le ski. Fang's POV again. We are sort of coming to the end of the third part and then I'll begin the fourth and final section of this story, but I'll let you know when we get there. Enjoy!

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After I'd found Max and brought her back to Dr. Martinez's we all sat down together in the sitting room for a bit of a powwow. Dr. Martinez had been very surprised to see me and I could sense that she wasn't quite sure whether to be angry with me for leaving or just relieved that I was back. Either way the subject went unbroached and would have been the elephant in the corner if there hadn't been another oh so ominous and decidedly larger elephant that Max was doing her absolute best to ignore and most of the others didn't even know existed. Ella and her mom were of course both glad to see the Flock and it never occurred to them that there might have been a more sinister reason behind our Christmas visit.

The kids were excited to be back; Angel and Nudge had moved immediately to sit by Ella where the three began almost instantly to giggle and hug, Gazzy and Iggy were tucking in to the fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies on the table so quickly they were practically inhaling them. Max and I just sat tensely and quietly on the couch her hand clenching mine tightly like a drowning person. I could feel her shaking at random intervals during the conversation but we tried not to make it obvious for the kids. Eventually Max's mom picked up that we needed to have a serious talk with her and she suggested that Iggy take the kids to the shop down the road for more cookie supplies. The kids were up and gone in seconds and we were left alone with Dr. Martinez.

She eyed us both carefully waiting for us to speak. Max looked panicked and glanced at me pleadingly. I squeezed her hand gently and nodded slightly.

"We- I- Max-…" I paused unsure where to start and glanced quickly at Max. She was shaking again and her eyes were wide. Rarely did I see Max so frightened of anything and I felt a surge of protectiveness. "We have something to tell you." I said determinedly.

Mom stared at us both her eyes flicking from one to the other and I saw shock on her face. I frowned, unsure what was running through her mind.

"Max … you … are you … pregnant?" She said suddenly.

I felt Max stiffen beside me and I felt a stabbing sensation deep in my chest at the thought that Max would never be able to bring a child into this world, not even my child.

"I wish." I heard softly from beside me. "I-" She turned into me suddenly and I felt water trickling on my shoulder. I drew her close and wrapped my arms around her. It took me some time to realise that Dr. Martinez was still sitting opposite from us clueless. Taking pity on her I caught her eye and lifted aside Max's hair.

There was a gasp from across the room and I turned to see Jeb standing in the doorway.

"It's not possible." He breathed.

"I thought so too." I said bitterly.

"Fang?" He stared at me, obviously nonplussed by my sudden reappearance.

"The one and only."

"When did this happen? When did it appear? When did you come back?"

"Can someone please explain to me what's going on?" Dr. Martinez said despondently from the couch.

"It's an expiration date Mom." Max said quietly pulling back from me slowly, looking into my eyes, avoiding her mother's.

"An expiration date?"

"The date I will…" She winced, "expire."

Another gasp, but from the other biological parent.

"When-"

"The day after Christmas."

I swallowed hard and tried to fight the urge to grab Max and run far, far away, to somewhere where none of this existed; no death, no pain, no tears. My hand moved to her face of its own accord, my thumb lightly brushing away a few tears, but there were more to replace them, silently rolling down her cheeks. Her hands moved to my sides and gripped my t-shirt pulling me closer her head falling into the crook of my shoulder and her body beginning to rack with tiny sobs. I silently ran my hands up and down her back. For the second time that day I forgot that there was anyone else in the room but her and me. Her hands balled into fists at my waist, her hair tickling my cheek, her tears soaking my t-shirt. Everything else had faded into the background, becoming completely irrelevant. All that mattered was her pain.

Our pain.

I held her close, allowing her to let it out. There was no need for us to be strong now; the kids had higher authority figures to turn to. It was our turn to show our fear, to unleash our anger, to cry our tears. I felt a soft hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Max's Mom staring down at me sadly, not with pity, but with compassion. My gratitude almost overwhelmed me. We couldn't deal with this alone. It wasn't fair. We were eighteen, far too young for this kind of deep-seated tragedy. It had never been a part of my plan to be the modern-day Romeo and Juliet. I could admit this once that we needed a grown-up.

Dr. Martinez rubbed my shoulder gently and then knelt down beside us and placed her hand carefully in Max's hair, stroking it softly. She offered no words of advice, not once did she suggest it was all right, she never implied that we were wrong or that it would all look better in the morning. She simply sat with us and showed in her own gentle, subtle way that she was there for us and perhaps, in some way, that she understood.

She was an amazing woman. It made sense that she was Max's mother.

I turned my head to see Jeb staring at us still clearly in shock. Having lost Ari to the horror of expiration, Jeb knew well what that price was for ignoring it. His face snapped into place after a moment and he took a quick step forward as if to come over but he stopped just as abruptly. He swallowed loudly.

"That's less than a week from now." He stuttered.

There was a loud sob from Max and I felt Dr. Martinez's hand clench slightly on my shoulder and her face pale.

"This Christmas..."

I nodded tightly, my throat felt closed over and I was beginning to have trouble breathing. Dr. Martinez looked as if she felt the same way, her face stricken, her bottom lip trembling slightly. She continued to run her hand softly through Max's hair but I could feel her other hand shaking on my shoulder. I caught her eye over Max's head and mouthed 'I'm sorry'. She shook her head sadly and leaned forward to kiss me lightly on the top of my head.

"You have nothing to apologise for." She said quietly.

Again the gratitude for her simple understanding washed over me. I had never had a mother. I could understand now why Max had wanted hers to be Dr. Martinez.

"Thank you Dr.-"

"Please." She said smiling slightly. "You are clearly in love with my daughter, call me Valencia, or even better, call me Mom." She lifted her hand from my shoulder to my cheek and stroked it gently. "I always knew you would come through for her. I never doubted that you would come home to us."

I felt myself shaking with relief and I nodded tightly again.

"Thank you … Mom." I said, stumbling over the words.

I could see the tears in the woman's eyes as she leaned back and I knew what it took for her to be strong for us. We both knew well what it was to put up a front for the ones you loved. I looked down at Max and she glanced up at me, her eyes red and her face blotched. I leaned down and dropped a light kiss on her forehead.

"At least your mom approves of me." I said with a small smile.

"How could she not?" She smiled slightly and burrowed into my chest, bringing her arms around my back and hugging me tight. I pulled her in closer, bringing her legs over mine so she sat across my lap like a child on Santa's knee. Holding her tight I could feel the damp patches from her tears pressing into my skin and I knew it wouldn't be the last time I would have to comfort her in her suffering. I knew we had made a pact not to blame ourselves anymore but I couldn't help but feel that if I had been there for her, had never left, that somehow we could have avoided this together, but as much as I wished we could go back we would still be here, sitting on this couch, two tortured souls in love.

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**Done for now, I've done something to my ankle so who knows if I'll be able to ski for the rest of my holiday :( it's my aunt and my friend's birthdays today and they're both skiing with us so it's off to le pub tonight for a celebratory party. Happy New Year again to all and hope you're all enjoying the holidays. Thanks for Reading. Cat**


	53. Perfect Freaking Mutant Child

**Ok, back again, but I'll have mock examinations in the first two weeks of February so I probably won't update till mid-Feb after this. So this is our last little talk for a while and I'd like to thank the people who stuck with me so far. just two things before we start;**

**Someone left an anonymous review and asked me to reply, sorry to disappoint but there are no reply buttons on anonymous :S if you still want to contact me sign in! **

**This will be a songfic. I've been contemplating it for some time and it's "Perfect" by Simple Plan. It is in fact perfect for this chapter. Max's POV.**

**Right then let's get this party started!**

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Alone. For one of the first times since Fang had returned I was alone. I'd sent him out with the kids for a grocery trip; milk, cheese, eggo, y'know … the essentials. I hadn't realized how empty the house would be without them all. Fang had been a little unsure about leaving me but I told him I wanted some time to think. It wasn't like I was going to try anything stupid while he was gone, I valued my life now and the precious moments I had left.

Stretching I got up from the couch in the sitting room and headed out to the garden. It wasn't dissimilar to our garden in Naples; the coarse grass, the almost desert-style plants, the blindingly obvious lack of water. I dragged my feet to the swinging chair on the porch and dropped onto it. My light weight barely made it move and I had to push my feet hard against the railings to get that comforting, rocking swing. In Arizona, even in winter, it was almost overwhelmingly hot. The sky was a perfect azure blue and for a moment I could have imagined I was Scarlett O'Hara herself, sitting happily in Tara waiting for love to come and fall at her feet.

This unusual daydream was ruined by a shadow appearing over me. I looked up, blocking the piercing sunlight from my eyes to see clearly. Typically it was the one man I'd been trying to avoid. Attempting to pretend how unfazed I was by his appearance I pretended to ignore his appearance, only grudgingly sparing him a curt greeting with a slight turn of my head and a terse announcement of his name.

"Nice to see I'm as welcome here as ever." He sighed. "You never can give an inch can you Maximum? Not even when you're dying."

I winced.

"No need to put it so bluntly." I snapped.

"Why not?" He asked in his usual irritating way. "That's what's happening isn't it?"

"Nice to see you're as blasé about life as ever." I retorted and started to sit up. Suddenly I didn't really want to sit on the porch anymore.

"Maximum won't you at least look at me?" He asked.

"Well heck DAD." I drawled putting as much sarcastic emphasis on that one word as I could. "I don't know why I'd want to look at your ugly mug. Did you look at Ari's once before he died? Did you even spare a thought for him while you were off saving the world or whatever it was you thought you were doing? Or what about you refusing to help me find Fang? Or telling me I'd get over him and I should just find someone else and stop complaining? Pull yourself together wasn't that it? That was what you said to me when I was crying in my room. Not a word of love or help from you! Oh no! God forbid! So now you've got the nerve to come over here when you know I'm dying and you think you're going to win a father of the year award? Not likely Jeb. Some parent you've been, I clearly turned out wonderfully aside from the freakish wings, severe claustrophobia, a deeply ingrained fear of hospitals and labs and an acute case of paranoia. IN FACT, I'D SAY I WAS THE PERFECT FREAKING MUTANT CHILD WOULDN'T YOU?" I was screaming at him now, standing at my full height my wings already prepared to thrust out and make me look even bigger. I was furious, I was inconsolable, I couldn't remember ever feeling so angry and bitter and betrayed in my entire life.

And yet …

Some part of me couldn't help but look at this man and wish he cared.

"I can understand that you're angry Maximum." He said slowly, staring up at me without blinking an eyelid.

"Too right I am!" I was breathing heavily now, trying desperately to fight the urge to beg him to love me.

I remembered his care when I was young, his constant watchfulness, this man had taught me almost everything I knew. It had hurt to discover that he had only been preparing me for my mission, grooming me to save the world. I remembered his irritation whenever I had tried to take a path other than one he had set me on; like when we had gone to Disneyworld, or when Fang had tried to convince me to get a house and settle down. Nothing was good enough for Jeb except saving the world from the company that he had been a part of.

**_Hey dad look at me_**

**_Think back and talk to me_**

**_Did I grow up according to plan?_**

**_And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?_**

**_But it hurts when you disapprove all along_**

I'd certainly tried to be good enough to earn his approval. I'd fought my hardest, I'd been the fastest, I'd saved the lives of myself and the Flock numerous times. I'd tried to be a good leader to show him that I was capable. I'd wanted desperately for him to love me, so much so that I had never questioned why he had left his real son to teach my Flock. To train us. We were never really good enough though, not really. We hadn't even saved the world; the kids Fang called in on the blog were the ones who had destroyed the labs. Logically, we would never have been able to defeat them on our own anyway. Thus, in Jeb's eyes I knew that we had failed. That made me angry. It made me furious. We had done our best and it had been hard.

**_And now I try hard to make it_**

**_I just want to make you proud_**

**_I'm never gonna be good enough for you_**

**_I can't pretend that_**

**_I'm alright_**

**_And you can't change me_**

"Maximum, I didn't raise you to act like a petulant child." Jeb said sternly. His frown grated on my nerves. Who was he to disapprove of me?

"You're right you didn't raise me at all!" I snapped. "What, do you think because you trained me to be a killing machine for two of my eighteen miserable years on this planet that I should be eternally grateful? Do you think that just because you helped us escape that all the bad stuff you did before and since just doesn't matter? I didn't notice you trying to help us escape any earlier, or stopping Ari before he ripped Fang to shreds!" I yelled. "Twice!" I added for good measure.

"I didn't have the authority." He said simply. "I had to wait for my moment."

"Oh I see." I spoke fiercely my voice dripping with sarcasm. "You had to wait for your moment while we were tested on and beaten and afraid. You had to wait till Fang had been reduced to speechlessness, till Iggy had been blinded completely, till I was so paranoid I can no longer enter a hospital without the violent need to run as far away as possible! But it's all ok because you were waiting for your moment and it was all for the greater good right?"

"It was … incredibly painful to watch you all suffer." He said sadly.

"I'm sure it was real hard." I scoffed bitterly. My mouth felt dry and I wanted to rip Jeb limb from limb for having the nerve to try and justify his actions. I used to think that he was the bravest man in the whole entire world. Now I looked at him and saw him for what he really was, just another foolish whitecoat looking for the perfect experiment.

_**'Cuz we lost it all**_

_**Nothing lasts forever**_

_**I'm sorry**_

_**I can't be perfect**_

_**Now it's just too late and**_

_**We can't go back**_

_**I'm sorry**_

_**I can't be perfect**_

It was funny how my perception had changed so violently. This man who used to be the only adult who I respected and trusted had become the one man I couldn't stand. I watched his eyes harden at my sarcasm and anger and I felt a pain deep in my chest that I tried desperately to ignore. Despite how little I wanted him to mean to me, I couldn't shake that wish that he would say just one word of pride or love or even sorrow at my departure. We both knew I was dying and yet, here we stood arguing. This was the man who had taught me nearly everything I knew. Almost everything I was I owed to him and yet … I couldn't say I knew him at all anymore. It seemed so long ago now that he had released us from captivity and introduced us to the real world, to the idea of a family, of friendship, of love. It _was_ long if I truly thought about it. It was more than six years ago now that he had asked me if I was ready to leave my cage and discover the world. I had assumed at the time that there was finally someone who cared for us. To discover that it had all been nothing but a ploy to teach us to survive in the world they were planning to destroy was a sickening thought and that Jeb had been part of it all along, had known what was in store, had been a crushing blow.

**_I try not to think_**

**_About the pain I feel inside_**

**_Did you know you used to be my hero?_**

**_All the days you spent with me_**

**_Now seem so far away_**

**_And it feels like you don't care anymore_**

"Maximum we do this every time that you come home. For once just stop behaving like a cantankerous toddler and do what I tell you." Jeb said icily.

"Actually, I'd prefer to be a brat than your puppet thanks." I bit back.

"Well then you're going the right way about it!"

"Good, one more thing to check off on my list of things to do before I die!" I spat.

"Can you even hold a proper adult conversation without reverting to this childish behaviour?" He sneered.

"Difficult to hold an adult conversation when the supposed adult is an ass." I retorted.

"Don't you dare speak to me that way!"

"I'll speak to you however I want I'm eighteen now, not that you remembered."

"Well maybe I'll treat you like an eighteen year old when you act mature enough."

"I have more maturity in my pinky finger than you do in your entire body!"

"What maturity would that be?"

"The ability to tell the difference between right and wrong!"

"Another reference to my position in ITEX perhaps? How many times do I have to explain it to you?"

"Until I believe you, which will be pretty much never."

"It was to keep you safe."

"Yeah, great job you did there! Fang still has scars from where Ari nearly ripped his lower intestines out and Iggy was blinded for life by one of their crackpot experiments! So who exactly did you keep safe and when? Certainly not Ari."

I hated the fighting, it was taking more out of me than I'd thought, but there was so much built up anger over every time Jeb had ever betrayed our trust that I couldn't stop the words from hurtling full speed out of my mouth.

**_And now I try hard to make it_**

**_I just want to make you proud_**

**_I'm never gonna be good enough for you_**

**_I can't stand another fight_**

**_And nothing's alright_**

Jeb's hand came flying out and slapped me across the face. I wasn't expecting it and I fell backwards into the porch swing. I landed sprawled on the now madly swinging chair and I felt the shock on my face mirroring his. I scrambled backwards, my arms pumping furiously and managed to pull myself up to a sitting position. He took a step forward and I flinched back, hauling myself up from the seat and backing away. I could hear Fang and the kids coming home and my breath hitched. They couldn't see Jeb and I like this, our stances tense in something resembling a western standoff and my cheek was already beginning to colour slightly, something I knew Fang would notice immediately.

"You just crossed the line." I hissed.

I watched Jeb stare at me seemingly confused. His face was an odd mixture of anger and confusion. He held the hand that had struck me slightly away from the rest of his body as if it were separate to him.

**_'Cuz we lost it all_**

**_Nothing lasts forever_**

**_I'm sorry_**

**_I can't be perfect_**

**_Now it's just too late and_**

**_We can't go back_**

**_I'm sorry_**

**_I can't be perfect_**

"You are no longer welcome here as far as I'm concerned." I hissed darkly. "Once I'm gone you can take it up with Fang, but while I am still leader of this Flock I don't want to see you in or near my house. Are we clear?"

"Maximum-"

"Are. We. Clear?"

He nodded slowly and sadly, his eyes closed.

"What's going on here?" Fang said darkly. He stood, glowering from the back door at Jeb. He glanced quickly at me and though I turned away quickly I still saw his eyes widen as he took in the darkening patch on my face.

"Out." He growled.

"I was just telling him to leave." I said quietly, ashamed at the tears that had sprung in my eyes.

"I wasn't talking to him."

I turned to see Fang looking at me. His eyes were dark, his jaws clenched, his hands curled tight in fists of rage. I stared at him, hurt and confused.

"You- you want me to leave?" I blinked rapidly.

"I don't want you to see me rip him to shreds." He said murderously.

I glanced sharply at Jeb who looked defiant but hurt. I knew Fang was serious. I took three quick steps across the porch until I was standing directly in front of Fang my hand resting lightly on his chest.

"Don't." I said softly. "He didn't mean- I provoked him."

Fang glared at me obviously torn between his need to do as I asked and the burning urge to avenge the blossoming bruise on my cheek.

"Jeb was just leaving anyway, weren't you Jeb?" I turned to him, desperately trying to unblock the clogging sensation in my throat and the burning pain behind my eyes.

He nodded tersely and turned to walk down the steps into the garden. I felt something stab hard into my chest and saw my hand reach unconsciously out to his retreating back. He didn't look back as he crossed our garden and exited from the side gate even though I waited till long after he was gone for him to turn to look at me.

**_Nothing's gonna change the things that you said_**

**_Nothing's gonna make this right again_**

**_Please don't turn your back_**

**_I can't believe it's hard_**

**_Just to talk to you_**

**_But you don't understand_**

I felt my body trembling underneath me and my hand, still reaching out for the father I couldn't stand, was shaking noticeably. I heard Fang take a step closer but he didn't touch me.

"I told him not to come back." I mumbled, my voice catching dangerously on the words. "Not till I was-" I trembled violently and Fang's hand closed warmly around my elbow.

"If you want to see him again I'll bring him back I promise, but for now it's best if he's not around." He turned me gently to face him and cupped his hand carefully under my chin. "Especially if he's going to hit you while _I'm_ not around."

"It wasn't- I said things-"

"It doesn't matter, nothing should ever force a man to hit his own child."

I looked up into his dark eyes and swallowed carefully.

"Do you think … if I'd tried a little harder … been more … perfect … that he might have … might have… loved me?

_**'Cuz we lost it all**_

_**Nothing lasts forever**_

_**I'm sorry**_

_**I can't be perfect**_

_**Now it's just too late and**_

_**We can't go back**_

_**I'm sorry**_

_**I can't be perfect**_

"Max." He sighed deeply, his eyes sad.

His expression said it all, it told me what I had suspected all along. I was imperfect and as such I was unlovable. The tears spilt over the rims of my eyes and I felt them run down the sides of my face. Again I found myself wondering where they had come from, where the stronger Max, the unbeatable, invincible Max had gone. The tears felt like an unwilling surrender to my emotions. As if I could no longer fight my own battles even with myself. I felt all my defiance and resolve crumble away under the pain and sadness. Jeb had left a hole in my heart I hadn't even know existed until I knew I would never see him again. I stared at Fang and wondered when I would be seeing him for the last time, trying desperately to keep the memory while knowing deep inside that it would extinguish with my mind.

One week to live. One week to live. One week to live.

It was all I could hear in my mind. That one thought playing over and over again. Joined suddenly with a harmony of; IMPERFECT, UNLOVABLE, IMPERFECT, UNLOVABLE. I felt dizzy, I felt weak and yet suddenly my thoughts were brought back to the present, my mind dragged back to the current moment in time.

"Jeb is a fool." Fang said slowly as if trying to explain it to a small child. "He loves you, he's just completely incapable of showing it. Remember it's not always as easy as it should be. After all," he grimaced, "look at how long it took us to admit how we felt about each other."

I nodded slowly, erasing immediately the idiotic thoughts that had been chasing around my head. After all, here in front of me stood my self-professed lover. A man who had told me on numerous occasions that he was deeply and irrevocably in love with me. My heart swelled at the sight of him. Unthinking, I threw my arms tightly around his neck and pulled him close, his lips hitting mine hard. Kissing him fiercely, I ran one hand through his hair and bit his lower lip.

It took him a moment to respond but when he did his arms clenched around my waist as tightly as mine and his lips bruised mine with their ferocity, but almost instantly he softened and carried the kiss with him, making it gentler, sweeter. I melted against him and felt my brain sizzle out of existence. For those few moments nothing existed but Fang and I, I and Fang. Indescribable bliss.

As always though, sheer bliss must end and it ended with a mighty crash from the living room and a small and almost undetectable 'oops'.

We pulled slightly apart our foreheads touching lightly and looked at each other stunned. Suddenly Fang chuckled and I followed suit and we were both laughing quietly at the typical antics of our bizarre little family.

"I'll get the sweeping brush." Fang smiled slightly breaking apart from me.

"And I'll get the perpetrator." I sighed jokily.

"And that's why we make such a great team." Fang laughed and headed into the house.

I paused for a moment, reflecting on my time in the garden. The only way I could think of describing it?

Decidedly eventful.

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**Well that's it for now, if I get anything up between now and mid-Feb it will be a miracle, but this is a really long one so I hope you all enjoy! Thanks, as always, for Reading. Every hit is appreciated! Cat**


	54. Over Steaming Cocoa

**Ok, so if I get this up before mid-Feb it'll be a miracle, but I had a little free time so I thought I ought to start it at least. It's Fang's POV and thanks to LordOfTheWings for your suggestion though I'm not sure whether I'll get a chance to use it or not. Suggestions are always welcome though! We're at 811 reviews now! I can't describe how excited that makes me : ). Thanks everyone, enjoy!**

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We spent the rest of our first day in our sitting room, reminiscing about old fights, old camps and various dubious meals we'd had. Conversation was, as usual, dominated by the Nudge Channel, but everyone had their say, whether it was Iggy's description of Max's cooking or Angel reflecting on past arguments between Nudge and Gazzy, the stories were endless, our memories a little rose-tinted. Over steaming coco, brimming with gooey marshmallows, we laughed, we cried and once or twice Gazzy noticeably let one fly. After airing out the room, we stood in the middle of it all, surrounded by old sofas and the wicker coffee table, a more perfect room for sharing life I could not have imagined. We all stood, shoulder to shoulder in a tight-knit circle, even Total, curled up in the corner for our talk had pushed his way to the middle of our ring and was staring up at us, waiting for something profound to happen no doubt. We looked at each other, each of us soaking in the sight of the five most important people (and dog) in our lives. Nobody said it, I don't know who started it, all I know is that suddenly our arms had reached out and we were all hugging. Like a team before a match we slung our arms over each other's shoulders and pulled in close together, touching our own foreheads to five other foreheads. So close, we were like one entity, as we always should be, as we should have stayed. I knew now deep down that we should never be apart. I had split us twice. I had no wish to do it again.

We stood like that for some time. So long that it became impossible to tell one body from another. We didn't speak. We didn't need to. Everything we needed to say was said in the tightness of our arms, the synchronisation of our breaths, the unwillingness to let go.

Eventually, it was time to pull apart. I felt a chill run up my spine as we each pulled away. First Max, then me, Iggy and Nudge and finally Gazzy and Angel stepped back together, Total in her arms. Immediately Max shoved her fist into the centre of the circle, her eyes turning to me. I stacked and the others followed suit. We tapped each other's fists and then broke apart again. It was time for bed.

I hadn't seen the upstairs of the house yet, so the bedrooms were a mystery to me. We all made our way to the stairs at the same time, causing a major traffic jam which forced us to travel up single file, making me last naturally as I had no notion where I was going. At the top of the stairs we took a left onto a long corridor with four doors. Iggy headed to the furthest door on the right. Stretching he turned his head as he walked.

"I'm going to give Alice a call. I'll see you all in the morning." He threw over his shoulder.

There was a general chorus of "Night Ig" and he disappeared into what I can only assume was his bedroom. Max followed Nudge and Angel into the first door on the left and I followed Gazzy into the first on the right.

"I can get ready for bed by myself you know." He asserted.

"I know." I nodded. "I was just thinking I don't spend enough time with you."

"I don't really mind." He mumbled quietly. I felt a small twinge in my chest at the thought that he really wasn't bothered by my absence in his life. Was I that unnecessary to him? I sat down on his bed.

"Well I do." I said softly. I saw something flicker across his face. Hope maybe? He sat next to me carefully.

"So-" I said after a while. "What's on your mind?"

"Well . . ." Gazzy tipped his head to the side. "I'm twelve now."

"I know." My mouth twisted into a wry smile. I wondered if he'd thought I wouldn't.

"But Angel says that we think as if we're at least three years older than our real age, that really I act and think more like a fifteen year old."

I nodded slowly, that would seem to be right. Certainly Angel acted well above her true age and none of us could be called inexperienced in the rough side of life. I wondered where Gazzy was going with this.

"So, the thing is . . . well I figure I have the right to know sort of . . . I mean especially because I don't know if you'll want to answer this later but . . . I've been wondering and . . ." He bit his lip. I waited patiently for him to explain. I could see he was fighting some inner battle so I gave him time to work it out himself. Eventually he spoke again.

"Can we . . . I mean can bird people . . . can they- we do it?" He burst out. The moment he'd finished he went completely silent. His body next to mine was carved from stone, not a muscle twitched.

"I . . ." I realized I didn't have an answer for him. I didn't honestly know. I'd always assumed we were the same as humans in that way. It had never even occurred to me that we might be . . . incapable.

I stared blankly at the wall, my mind a blur of thoughts and emotions. Suddenly it snapped into place.

"Yes." I said confidently. The boy looked at me his eyes questioning and I realized he was looking for assurance.

"I . . ." I blanked again. This time not because I didn't know, but because I didn't know what to say. Iggy was my only example and I couldn't say that to Gazzy.

"Just trust me kid okay?" I said finally. He nodded slowly, looking a little relieved.

"Cool." I smiled, a little shaken, but proud of how I'd handled it. I stood up and ruffled his hair.

"Not the conversation I expected, but still . . . good talk." I nodded to him and headed to the door. "Night Gaz."

"Night Fang." I stepped out into the corridor and breathed a deep sigh of relief as I closed the door behind me.

"You look like you had fun." I heard Max say. I looked up and she was standing in front of me grinning. I grunted elegantly and she laughed.

"Your beautiful when you laugh." I said quietly. She blushed and looked away, a small smile playing over her lips.

"C'mon," she said and reached her hand out to mine. "I haven't shown you your room."

"Okay." I took her hand and we walked down the corridor to the last door on the left. I wondered where Max's room was if we were all filling the four rooms on the top floor. Max opened the door and led me in after her. It was dark in the room but I could just make out the edge of a bed in front of us. The lights flashed on and I saw an exact copy of the room in Florida. The walls were black, the carpet was black, the bed . . . was big.

I turned to Max but she was staring at the floor. Her cheeks were a deep red color and she was biting her lip so hard I could see it going numb.

"Max," I said gently squeezing her hand. "This is your room."

"Yeah." She said miserably.

"I don't understand." I said slowly. "Does that mean . . . that you want it to be my room . . . as well?"

She nodded, her eyes still firmly fixed on the floor.

"Our room?" I whispered in wonder, glancing around the room. Max was completely still next to me. I turned to her, a slight smile twisting my lips.

"You are absolutely adorable," I said softly, "I love you."

"Does adorable mean you're not going to stay?" She mumbled.

"Of course I'm going to stay." I chuckled squeezing her hand tight, her insecurity surprising me. I maneuvered her by the shoulders so that she stood in front of me and then I placed my free hand under her chin and tilted her face upwards. I looked into her eyes and smiled. "I would have to be insane to leave you alone for even a second. If you want me to share a room with you, then I want to share a room with you. Anything that makes you happy makes me happy. Although I'll admit, this makes me particularly happy."

She tilted her head to the side slightly, her eyes questioning.

"Because now I can do this." I smiled softly and I leaned in close and put my arms around her waist. "And this." I kissed her forehead, her temples, her cheeks, her jaw line, her nose and she smiled and leaned into me. "And this." I kissed her sweetly on the lips and my brain shorted out.

* * *

**UNKNOWN DESTINATION**

* * *

"Alex, what are we doing?" Clarissa asked suddenly.

Alex glanced up at her wondering the same thing himself. His head hurt, his back hurt and his heart hurt. He couldn't think properly anymore and his once perfect dancing flame of hair lay flat and lifeless on his head.

"Alexander does not know what we are doing, nor what he is doing and he certainly does not know what we will continue to do after we have done whatever it is that we do next, is that not correct?" The twins spoke defiantly, almost bitterly from the darkness. "He is leading us upon a wild goose chase because he is incapable of admitting to himself where we clearly need to go next."

"And where's that exactly?" Alex snarled.

"It is necessary that we find Maximum Ride and her 'flock'."

"Why on earth would we need to do that?"

"If Lillian has indeed been captured then the secret of our freedom has either been discovered or is at risk of discovery. If we wish to recover her, in contrast to what we are currently doing which is counter-productive, then it is necessary to have the less vulnerable avian-hybrids enter the complex."

"Lily's dead! What's wrong with you two? Why can't you just accept it and move on? I have."

"Alexander, it is similarly counter-productive to live in denial and to lie to those who hold even a tenuous telepathic link to your psyche. Lillian is most certainly not dead, although her presence is becoming significantly weaker with each new sunrise."

Alex stared at the twins his hair rising slightly. His mind was a tumult of incomprehensible thoughts. One thought rose above the rest.

Lily was still alive.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" He asked standing quickly.

"You were not ready. It is time now for us to begin our search."

"Not ready? How wasn't I ready? What is this, some kind of test? I swear, if you're lying I'll never forgive you."

"It would be counter-productive for us to lie, but regardless of this your forgiveness is not necessary for our survival."

"It would be when I took my vengeance …violently." He hissed.

"STOP IT BOTH OF YOU!"

Clarissa stood in the centre of their ring, her tattoos writhing violently, her hair twisting madly in the air above her head, her eyes flashing under their coal black surface.

"Clarissa, there are three of us." Amber said quietly, standing alone and taking a cautious step towards her 'sister'.

"Then all of you stop it, I don't care!" She said tiredly. "Lily is alive and we're standing here bickering. If the twins think we have to find Maximum, then I think that's the best plan we've got so far. So, when you spoke to Maximum Alex, do you remember how far away she was from Chicago roughly and in which direction?"

"South, I would have said further than Georgia, but still within the United States."

"So probably Florida," she nodded, "Any chance you could give us an estimate of what city, or even area?"

"I'll have to think about it, but I can work on it." He nodded slowly.

"Right, Nick? Amber? Are you absolutely one hundred percent certain that Lily is alive?"

"Yes." Nick said certainly. They all turned to Amber, who looked from Nick, to Clarissa, to Alex.

"If Lillian were dead . . . we would know . . . we would . . . sense it. I am sure that she is still alive, if not well. Is that enough for you?"

"It's enough for me." Clarissa said determinedly. Once again it was Alex's turn to feel the stare of his 'family'.

"Yes . . . if there's even a chance . . . we have to . . . at least try."

The twins nodded. "Then we shall begin our search for Maximum Ride and her 'flock'. Let us hope that they hold the answers for which we seek."

* * *

**ARIZONA**

* * *

I ran my hand lightly through Max's hair and listened to the light sound of her breathing. Her head on my chest and my arm around her shoulders she had fallen asleep after we had used her double bed for it's greatest intended purpose. I lay in the dark, focusing on nothing but the feeling of her hair sifting through my hand.

Strange to think that only a week or two ago I had thought I had lost this woman forever and here we were. Yet our happiness could only be bittersweet and short. We had one more week. It was nearly Christmas.

* * *

**Ok, just before I go has anyone here tried fiction press . com? It's Fanfiction's sister site and it's really worthwhile, there are some amazing writers over there who are worth checking out. If anyone's interested I can give a list of stories and authors I'd really recommend. Thanks for Reading, Cat**

**Ps please forgive spelling mistakes it's late and I'm tired**


	55. Failure

_Chapter 55_

_Failure_

_I was floating, floating over clouds, coasting over California, looking for . . . hell; I didn't know what I was looking for. I guess I'd know what it was when I'd found it._

I turned in my bed.

_I was circling around looking for . . . whatever it was I was looking for, when I saw it . . . or rather them. The flock were all sitting on the top of a nearby cliff. I had found them, my family. I called out to them but none of them moved. I thought maybe they just hadn't heard me, so I yelled again. Nothing. Baffled I tried to get below the clouds and stop floating and circling but I couldn't get any lower, I just kept being pushed back. _

I tossed over and over.

"_Guys, it's me Max" I screamed at them. Still nothing. It was as if . . . NO . . . but I realised they still hadn't moved an inch since I'd spotted them. They weren't moving and now that I had begun to think about it they were lying in really uncomfortable positions on the ground. Suddenly I was getting closer, the clouds were moving out of my way and I flew down. I managed to get close enough to see them clearly and I almost puked. So much blood, so many feathers. Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, there was no way any of them could have survived, I was going to be sick I was trying so hard not to cry and scream and puke and run away all at the same time. I opened my mouth._

My voice wrenched from my throat in agony with no recognizable sound. I was trying desperately to wake up.

_Fang's blood pouring out over the dusty desert ground, mixing with Gazzy's and spilling into Nudge's, tumbling over rocks to spread beside Iggy's lifeless body and dye Angel's blonde hair to a blood red, lapping finally to rest at Total's deformed and twisted mass of fur, the ground stained with the hybrid blood of my family, my flock, the only people I had ever truly loved._

It was all so realistic, the slashed wings, the twisted limbs, the gashes running up and down their bodies. I started to shudder uncontrollably and my wings snapped out from my body.

"Max?" I heard vaguely. It sounded far away, like someone was behind a glass wall, trying to reach me.

Not someone . . . Fang.

"Max!"

Restraints, everywhere, my arms flailed of their own accord, desperate to break the ties holding me down.

"Max stop!"

I could hear him, but I couldn't see him, couldn't see anything. Who was holding me back? I needed him, to reach him, for him to hold me. I was scared.

"Max, stop fighting me!"

Fighting him?

My eyes snapped open. I hadn't even known they were closed. I stopped thrashing and lay still, Fang's hands locked tight around my wrists, his legs weighing down mine. Restraining me, holding me back.

His eyes burned into mine, dark and deep.

"What on earth was that about?"He growled.

"I had a bad dream." I blushed.

"Again?"

"I've done this before?" I blanched, embarassed.

"Not this violently, but yes, you've been incoherently babbling, sweating, shaking, most mornings."He frowned. "I sort of thought you knew."

I shook my head. To the best of my knowledge I hadn't had that dream since . . . since the night Fang left. No need to mention that stared at each other, both knowing that the point was moot anyway. No logic in solving a problem that would die with me. He sat up, pulling me with him. We sat on the bed facing each other and he smiled crookedly, but it never reached his eyes.

"We'd better go downstairs." He said resignedly.

I nodded sadly and he pulled me into a hug. Over his shoulder I saw the alarm clock on his bedside table. It simply read;

**9:05 12/25/07**

It was Christmas Day. A chill ran down my spine.

I had one day left.

* * *

**ITEX HEADQUARTERS**

* * *

Lily stared at the blurred ceiling through the glass. Her reflection was almost visible in the mirrors that her 'minders' had attached to every wall in the room to intensify the light. Despite the steadily intensifying pain, her appearance had remained at a stable plateau. She supposed that there was only so far one could go before it couldn't get any worse. It angered her to know that she would die such a piteous loathsome creature as she saw in that mirror; her hands permanently clenched against the pain, frailly clutched around her knees as she lay on her side, curled in the fetal position. It was no way to die. It was certainly no way to live.

Her neck ached with the pain of holding her head up and she dropped it back on the heated floor of the cage. Glancing down she could see the thin pieces of metal holding up her delicate glass cell, which allowed the light to pass through at all angles. She wondered about the person who had designed this device, lamented that someone so masterful in the art of design should use his or her talents for cruelty and pain. So many problems could be solved, so many wrongs righted if only they would add their skills to the profit of good.

Not her problems though.

Her problems would not be solved by a mere invention or design. Her problems could not be solved by a miracle. Her problems were destined to remain unsolved, her wrongs unrighted. All beginning with that one night, when she had given everything away for a girl she never really knew.

_**Flashback**_

_Lily was sitting on the edge of the bed in their shabby, thrown together shack in Chicago. Clarissa and the twins were buying food and Alex had just returned from collecting their laundry. He was folding the clothes back into their backpacks where they kept everything prepared for sudden departures and Lily was sorting it through, separating it into piles for each person to carry. _

"_I'm going to look for Maximum Ride tonight." She said carefully._

"_Oh Lily, don't start that again." He groaned._

"_Alex, I have to find her." Lily pleaded._

"_Why?" He growled. "What is your deal with Maximum Ride that she's so important?"_

"_I made a promise," she sighed, "a long time ago."_

"_Who cares?"_

"_I do."_

"_Funny how I seem to be the one losing out because of your stupid promise." He muttered. _

"_What?" Lily sat up and looked at him. He was avoiding her eyes, pretending to concentrate on the bags in front of him. His hands were almost a blur as he shoved the garments in mercilessly, moving from one pile to another with no care for wrinkles or creases. He stayed silent as she waited for his response, her hands dropped uselessly at her sides._

"_Nothing." He muttered eventually._

"_No, tell me what's wrong." She asked feeling her heart contract at the chill in his tone._

"_It's seriously nothing." He growled. "Just like me and the rest of your family, nothing."_

_Her eyes narrowed. "Just what is that supposed to mean?" _

"_Exactly what I said." He snapped. "It's more important to you to find this person you barely even know, to fulfill a promise you never told us you made, than to stay and look after the family you promised __**me**__ we'd look after." His eyes turned suddenly and pinned her down coldly. His hair was shifting restlessly but his hands were frozen in place, stilled over her small pile of tattered clothing._

"_I- Alex . . . how long have you been sitting on this?"_

"_A while now."_

"_But-_

A sudden crash from the other side of the room startled Lily out of her memories. She wanted so badly to turn and face her tormentors but her body just could not obey. Using her two remaining senses she listened for the footsteps that should follow an entrance and searched the mirrors for a view of the intruder on her memories.

Once again, like every time before, there was no one there.

After a while her mind began to drift back to that night.

"_A while now."_

"_But Alex, I don't understand," she frowned, "I can do both."_

"_I don't think so."_

"_You're not right about everything!"_

"_Well neither are you!"_

"_What have I gotten wrong so far?" She jumped up angrily, her hair bristling._

"_This . . . us . . . this whole damned failure of a relationship." He shouted, his fiery mane snapping from left to right. _

_Lily's heart stopped in her chest, she felt something cold settle around it and clench tight. Her eyes had widened and she'd taken an involuntary step back. It took her a moment to reconnect with reality, but the moment she had she straightened her spine, lifted her chin and ruthlessly choked back the emotions threatening to escape her body._

"_Failure." She repeated sharply._

"_Yes, failure!" He threw his arms in the air and turned away from her, stalking to their makeshift door. __" I was wrong, we were wrong, sometimes things just feel wrong."_

_The world shifted around Lily as she felt the ground ripped out from under her feet. She felt her hand move up to reach for him but forced it back to her side. _

"_If that's how you really feel about this." She choked. He nodded and the ice-cold grip on her heart tightened again. "Well then, there's a very simple way to fix this problem." She flashed across the room and grabbed her backpack, stuffing her clothes into it in one fluid movement. She glanced at him across the room and he still stood stiffly with his back to her. Her vision blurred as tears sprung up in her eyes. She wrested it back into focus and drew herself up to full height, she was going to go out eyes blazing, even if he wouldn't look at her. She reached into the darkness around her and pulled a passage into her mind. _

"_Goodbye Alex." She intoned without inflection, without emotion. _

_And then she sank into the darkness and allowed it to consume her._

_**End Flashback**_

Lily felt that cold grip tighten once again as she lay in her bright cage yearning for the sweet, cold darkness and it's forgiving touch. She had arrived in Florida that night and searched for Maximum Ride. She had been close before and had been certain Max was somewhere near, if not in this state then only the next state over. It had just been a matter of finding her voice.

"Merry Christmas everyone." I said as Fang and I came down the stairs together hand in hand.

"Max-" Mom stood in the hall looking up at me with tears in her eyes.

"No Mom," I smiled, "today we forget about that, today is Christmas and we're going to enjoy it ok?"

She nodded and I hugged her tight. Fang stayed close behind me, one hand always near me; keeping physical contact between us. I could feel his pain as easily as my own, sense his fear, his anguish. I stepped back from my mom and slung my arm close around his waist. He returned the favour by reaching his arm over my shoulders and pulling me tight to his chest.

The kids were in the living room sitting around the big green pine by the fireplace that seemed laughably unnecessary in such weather. There was a small pile of presents under the tree, none of which were for me. I had told everyone not to buy me anything, for the simple reason that I would never be able to take it with me. Where I was going, there would be no personal possessions.

Ella jumped up and wrapped her arms around me tight.

"Merry Christmas Max." She whispered.

"Merry Christmas Ella." I murmured back into her ear. She smiled and pulled me towards the tree. My flock looked balefully up at me from their cross-legged position on the floor, all except Iggy who was sitting in the armchair by the window enjoying the breeze.

"Merry Christmas guys." I croaked.

They scrambled up together and hugged me as one, attacking me from all sides. Over the past few days we had hugged and cried more often than I would like to admit. It was hard to know that there were less than 48 hours left together. Fear clutched at my throat and I fought it with all of the limited strength left in my pathetically weakened body. My strength had been slowly ebbing away since we'd arrived at Mom's and though I had tried to cling to that image of myself as a strong and lethal warrior, I knew that even Ella had noticed my constant fatigue and the way I regularly had to use Fang to support myself. He never complained and we never mentioned it, but I knew in my bones that everyone saw, that everyone recognized the signs of weakness I had begun to display.

The rest of my last day passed mostly without incident.

I can't go into detail describing it, simply because, for me, I passed through it in a daze. For the flock, they were building memories to cherish of me, new memories that would hopefully erase some of the bad ones of more recent years. I was just giving myself to them, lending my time to them to make those memories.

Where I was going there would be no Flock, there would be no Ella, there would be no Mom, there would be no Fang, there would be no possessions, there would be no memories.

* * *

**Took me ages to write, not sure about the ending but I was very tired. Is anyone really interested in hearing about this Christmas Day from Fang or should I move straight into Max's last day (being Boxing or 's Day)?**

**Let me know asap so I can start the next chapter!**

**Hope You're Enjoying. Cat**

**p.s. btw anyone recognize the dream at the beginning ? (I'll admit I _was_**** a bit lazy but I always sort of intended to bring it back in somewhere)**


	56. The Leader's Boyfriend

_Chapter 56_

_The Leader's Boyfriend_

I sat at the window and stared out at the dark Arizona landscape. The woman lying asleep in the bed behind me shifted and I caught the smell of her hair, filling me with memories. I absently traced lines in the condensation on the windowpane and felt my mind drift far away.

_**Flashback**_

_Max's eyes catching mine across the dinner table, her cheeks flushed and lips smiling._

"_You didn't have to." She blushed._

"_Yes," I fixed my gaze on hers. "I did."_

I had finally given her the candlelit dinner we should have shared years ago. Iggy had done me a favour by preparing a meal that belonged in a three star Michelin, but fit in just fine somehow in our rustic mountaintop setting. The kids had given me a hand flying the table up, along with an entire dinner seat for two and the obligatory candles. Nudge and Angel had even gone to the trouble, not that they didn't enjoy it, of buying a dress for their older sister. They'd had difficulty finding one that facilitated the use of her wings but the backless ball gown in deep green suited her perfectly. My suit had also needed a lot of altering to allow free use of my wings but eventually everything was ready. On our third night in Arizona, I had coaxed Max into taking a night-time flight with me and as we were about to leave I'd stopped short.

"_I almost forgot." I said, although I had planned all along to leave it until the last minute._

"_Forgot what?" She asked curiously._

"_The skies have a strict dress code tonight."_

_She laughed but looked confused as I went upstairs._

"_Where are you going?"_

"_To get changed."_

"_What?" She followed me up the stairs. "Into what? What's going on?"_

"_Into this." I watched her expression carefully as I held up the new dress, worried that I may have gone too far. Her reaction was worth my nerves. I saw her face light up. Max never had the opportunity to take time for herself or wear nice clothes, but everyone deserved the opportunity at least once in life. She came a few steps closer, her eyes flitting from me to the dress, the surprise obvious in her face._

"_Why?" She asked, running her fingers over the silky folds of __emerald__. _

"_Simple question." I answered, running my fingers over the silky skin of her cheek._

"_Simple answer?" She turned her face up to mine her eyes shining._

"_Never." I smiled slowly._

"_Of course."_

"_But if you must have one," I leaned in, softly touching my lips to hers, "I love you."_

"_I love you too." She sighed happily leaning into my chest. A few moments later she turned to the silk green dress and took it from my grasp. _

"_Want to help me put it on?" She asked playfully._

"_Minx." I chuckled. "We have to be on time."_

"_For what?" She pouted jokingly, pretending to be put out by my refusal._

"_You'll see."_

"_You can't keep secrets from me, I'm the leader."_

"_Yeah, but I'm the leader's boyfriend, so I'm allowed to keep good secrets from the leader."_

"_Hmmm I suppose."_

_I bent down and kissed her hard, pulling her against me and crushing our lips together. She fought me back tooth and nail, refusing to sit back for the ride complacently. She threw one arm up around my neck and pulled me closer, kissing me back passionately. We pulled apart, both breathing heavily, my forehead resting on hers. I laughed breathlessly._

"_Now will you get ready to go? We're going to be late." I dropped a kiss on her forehead and turned to go downstairs where my suit was waiting in the bathroom. _

"_Fang?"_

_I turned at the top of the stairs and she smiled, holding up the dress._

"_Thank you." She said. "It's beautiful."_

_I nodded and went to change._

My eyes began to sting as I remembered that night, that one perfect night.

_We hadn't mentioned the end once, hadn't talked about the time we missed or the lonely times to come. We just talked about meaningless nothings as we sat up there on our secluded mountaintop. Worried about landing, Max had gone barefoot and the dress had proven remarkably impractical for flying in, though it did mean I had a lot of excuses to fly close to keep the skirt comfortably around her ankles. She was stunning, her appearance not even marred by the three angry scars visibly portrayed against the pale skin of her back. _

_**End Flashback**_

That dress was hanging in our wardrobe now. I still didn't know if I would take it with me when we returned to Florida. So many decisions would have to be made tomorrow. I glanced at the sleeping woman in our bed. Her hair was mussed and lay spread over the pillow, her body curled into a loose foetal position, an unconscious by-product of growing up in a cage. It was hard to believe that in less than 24 hours I would have to begin planning her funeral. Her chest rose and fell evenly, her mouth in a small oh shape, the breath whistling slowly through it. My fist clenched and I turned back to the window, anger and guilt coursing through me. We had finally found each other again, admitted our feelings, brought each other back to life and still, still she was being taken away from me, from us all. I closed my eyes and tried to even out my breathing. Tears were springing unbidden to my eyes and I squeezed them tight against the burning and the telling tightness in my throat. My body was trembling with the injustice of our situation. I wanted so badly to protect her, but I was completely helpless, my love somehow nothing against the powerful tide of death. She would die today and that would be the end of it, for both of us.

I felt a hand, light on my shoulder. Glancing up I saw her concerned face looking down at me, a face filled with love, compassion and worry. Far beneath, there lay a deep sorrow, carving lines of pain into her too young face.

"Max." I croaked, my voice cracking in pain.

She smiled sadly, her eyes brimming over with tears, her arms snaking around my neck; she sat on my lap and leaned her head against my chest. I held her tight and she shook in my arms, her breath ragged.

"I- don't- want- to go- Fang." She sobbed.

"I don't want you to go either." I gulped.

"I'm not finished . . . I'm not ready . . . I'm afraid."

"I know."

"I keep thinking about how different our lives could have been. What if I hadn't run off that night? What if we hadn't fought?"

I stiffened. "You mean what if I hadn't left?" I said coldly.

"No!" Her head shot up to face mine, horror in her eyes.

"Yes you do Max," I blinked hard to stop the threatening tears, "that's exactly what you mean."

"No!" She pulled my face back to look at hers. "I didn't mean it like that at all! Don't you dare think I blame you for what we lost!"

"Really Max?" I snapped, moving her from my lap and standing up and away from her. "Who is to blame if not me? ITEX? Jeb? Your Mom? No, no one made that decision but me!"

"Fang why are you doing this?" She asked forlornly from the far corner of the room.

"Like you said, you keep thinking about it." I spat. "Seems like we should have had this conversation a long time ago."

"Fang we did have this conversation and I told you then that I didn't blame you." She tried to come towards me and I backed off, my mind was spinning madly, I had little control over what I was saying or why, I just knew that I was angry, angrier than I had ever been and I had to yell at someone and she was here, picking a fight with me.

"Well then you shouldn't have lied." I retorted viscously.

She stopped completely.

I watched her shoulders drop and her eyes dim. She took a short breath and her eyes fell away from mine to the floor. I was watching her crumple before me and I knew I had to do something before she closed me out completely.

"Max I-"

"If that's how you feel, get out."

"Max-"

"Fang, just get out." She turned away.

"Max please-"

I watched her falter momentarily, but her resolve returned.

"We'll talk in the morning, get out." She hissed.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Why the hell not?"

"Well for one thing I have nowhere to sleep out there." I pointed out the door and she growled menacingly.

"You have nowhere to sleep here either." She snapped.

"And for another thing, there may not be a morning, so I'm not going anywhere and we're going to sort this out right here, right now."

Again I watched her falter; I could see the fear in her eyes.

"You don't think-"

"I don't know." I said softly.

She turned away, I saw her shoulders fall for a second time and I needed to explain myself before she got angry again. As her spine began to stiffen once more, I lurched forward and tugged her arm, pulling her around to look at me. There were still tears glistening in her eyes and I sighed heavily.

"Max, I'm sorry," I said, wrapping one hand around her cheek, "but . . ." I looked away, embarrassed to admit my weakness, "but I'm scared too, and that fear, it . . . it makes me want to push you away so I can't get hurt. I _know_ it's wrong but if you could just bear with me, because I'm afraid too. It's stupid and it's wrong but there it is. The thought of losing you . . . knowing that I'm losing you . . . it's too much for even me to bear on my own."

I could feel her tears spilling over my fingers, feel the pain I was causing her running over my hand in little drops of personal rain, so I tried to pull away, tried to let her go, but she pulled me back. Her hands reached up to the sides of my face, tugging me back to look at her.

"You're not going to lose me." She said defiantly, her eyes proud though tear-stained.

"Max, I'm losing you today." I groaned.

"You're not going to lose me damn it!" She sparked. "Yes you're going to lose the me standing right here, but you'll never lose the me in _here_," she pointed her finger to my forehead, "or in _here_," she placed her hand on my heart, "just like I will never lose the _you_ in mine." Taking my hand in hers she placed my hand on her heart. "So you see, you'll never lose me and I'll never lose you."

"Max, memories are such fragile things. I don't _want_ to live in memories. I want _you_, the you _here_, right _now_." I held her shoulders tight, close to shaking her, trying desperately to make her understand the anguish, the deep inconsolable pain, the untameable sorrow welling up inside of me. I was like the Heathcliff to her Cathy, except there was no Edgar and no Isabelle, just a vengeful, vengeful god, taking her away to spite me, to destroy me. I had left for a foolish reason and returned just in time to realise I had lost everything through my own stupidity. How could I explain to her how utterly hopeless and cynical I had become inside.

I remembered in that moment Heathcliff's mad invocation;

"_Be with me always – take any form- drive me mad! only __**do**__ not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I __**cannot**__ live without my life! I __**cannot **__live without my soul!"_

I had thought I understood them the first time I read them; thought that I of all people would comprehend the soul-destroying idea of life without the person you love. Yet, now I understood that there was a vast difference between living without them to ensure their happiness, and living without because they no longer walk this earth. These words gained new meaning now. I was learning the harshest lesson of all.

* * *

**Not sure if this is entirely finished to my liking but I wanted to update. I had a majority vote for Max's last day so I'm doing that and leaving out Christmas Day. Possibly in the far future, don't quote me on it though, I may write it as a short story or a flashback, because it seems a little choppy. Not sure about this chap as I said but I hope you all enjoyed it anyway. Feedback is always appreciated! Cat**


	57. Come Sit Down

_My Waking Nightmare_

_Chapter 57_

_Come Sit Down_

My eyelids creaked open that morning, like a pair of old rusty gates that are determined to stay closed, but the crack of sunlight sneaking through the tiny gap in the curtains insisted on pushing it's way through into my eyes and forced me to wake up. I was shocked moments later by the realization that this would be the last time I would ever wake up, my last natural sleep. That simple thought shocked me to the core and I spent a few moments trying to regain those last few seconds of sleep, those last blissful moments of unawareness. I failed. Fang was lying next to me, his arm protectively thrown over my waist, his face buried in my hair. We had fought last night and for a few devastating minutes I had been afraid that I would be forced to face this day without him, that those words of anger could be the last words we spoke to each other. I felt his arm tighten around my waist as he felt me tremble. He was awake. We were both awake. It was time to get up, time to face the day. I promised myself I would. Soon.

For another few minutes I made no attempt to move, I just lay in this cocoon of a bed with my boyfriend/husband and cherished the sweetness of his closeness, of his caring, of our love.

Then it was time to get up.

And I tried, I truly did, but I couldn't stand. Fang sat up as I began to stir and he pulled himself out of the far side, but I couldn't stand. I tried feebly to push myself to sit and I collapsed on the bed again. He looked at me and I could see the terror on his face, it was finally real, it was happening. He ran to the door and bellowed down the hall for Iggy and then he came back to my side. He took my hand in his and crouched down beside me.

"Max it's going to be fine, let me help you up." He said gently, his touch soft and his eyes concerned.

I hadn't the heart to argue with him, so I let him pull me up to sit leaning against the headboard. Iggy came in to the room, his face drawn and his hands shaking, a fact he was desperately trying to hide from the two of us.

"Morning Ig." I said weakly, trying to add a wobbly smile.

"Hey Max, how're you doing?"

"Not so great Doc." I choked out.

"Oh." His brow furrowed and I watched hundreds of emotions play across his face in a matter of seconds.

"Fang," I turned softly to the man holding my hand, "can I speak with Iggy alone for a minute or two please? I'd like to say goodbye to each of you personally." At the word goodbye I saw him wince and I felt the chill run down my spine at the knowledge that I was truly saying my final goodbyes. He nodded sadly and then leaned in and kissed me deeply and tenderly before pulling away and quietly leaving the room.

Iggy was standing near the door, his shoulders shaking hard, so I asked him to come and sit beside me and pulled him into a tight hug.

"I am so incredibly proud of you." I said to him. "I'm proud of your skills, I'm proud of your maturity and I'm proud of your attitude to life. You are nothing short of a blessing. You've been incredibly supportive even when I've been useless and a danger to us all. You managed to bring them through the worst of times and for that I'm eternally grateful. I'm so lucky with my entire family and I'm glad that if I had to be practically-related to anyone that it was you. I couldn't have done it without you and all I ask of you is to be happy and to look after Alice."

"Max I-" Tears were spilling from his sightless eyes. "I can try."

"I love you Ig."

"I love you too Max."

I pulled him close and we hugged for one last time. I tried to put my deepest feelings into that hug, to show him how much I cared. I wanted him to have something good to remember about me.

"Could you . . . fetch Nudge for me?" I asked him finally. He nodded and left quietly, only pausing a moment at the door before he closed it behind him.

I sat still in the bed and wished the curtains were open. At least then I could look out at the world. The waiting was difficult; I'd never been much of a waiter. Patience was not a virtue I possessed. I looked around the room I had furnished for myself so long ago. My eyes passed over the shelf of books I had bought in the hopes that someday I would have time to read them. Jane Austen, Philip Pullman, Charlotte Bronte, J.; all names that meant nothing to me, authors whose books I would now never read. Next to them was a small pile of DVDs, movies which had been recommended to me by the young man in the store. I read the names from their spines and sighed. _Pulp Fiction, Fargo, Casablanca, Fight Club, The Lion King, Gone With the Wind;_ movies I would now never get the chance to see. Had I missed something? Where had the time gone? I saw on my bedside table the pile of trilogies the young man in the store had insisted I watch first; _Star Wars_ and_ Indiana Jones._ I felt almost a pang of guilt at ignoring his suggestion. I would never play my piano again now; never feel my fingers bring another song to life. The semi-darkness of the room added to my despair. It felt as if my eyesight were slowly fading until all I could see was darkness upon darkness.

Then Nudge opened the door.

"Come on in sweetheart." I said softly, as I watched her falter on the threshold. "Could you open the curtains for me please?"

She nodded jerkily and trotted robotically to the windows were she released the sunlight from outside.

"Thank you." I said softly. "Come sit down." I said motioning to the chair near the bed. She swallowed loudly and then nervously climbed into the seat. Her eyes were wide and I watched her subconsciously lean away from me out of fear. I felt a twist in my gut at the knowledge that I scared her. I was so close to death, too close, as if she could sense it around me and couldn't get too close for fear it was catching. I couldn't blame her though. She was so young. Life was so cruel.

I opened my mouth.

I realized I didn't know what to say to her.

I closed it again.

My eyes stung and I wanted to reach out and hold her, but she was so far away, her dark skin almost impossible for me to make out now that my eyes were blurring again.

"Nudge I-" I stopped. What could I say to her?

"Max I'm sorry," she said softly, "I'm trying not to be afraid but . . . it's so hard and . . . I don't want you to go." Tears began to drip down her face but I was still at a loss for words. So I did all I could do. I reached out my hand and placed it on hers. In that moment, Nudge was able to see all of my feelings, to know my memories. In the same way she had felt all of the pain and suffering at the Vietnam Memorial in DC, Nudge could feel everything I was feeling, all of the roiling emotions pent up in my body. Overwhelming them all was love.

"I love you Nudge. You're the sweetest kid, a genius and a fighter. I'm so proud of you that it's beyond my power to express it in words, so here's how I feel." I held tight to her hand and thought of the Flock, thought of Nudge and all of the wonderful things I admired about her. After a few minutes I let go and opened my eyes to see her breathless and dazzled, but she was no longer afraid. She leant over and hugged me tight, her tears drenching my face.

"I love you too Max." She said tightly, her voice choked by her tears.

I nodded and asked her to fetch the Gasman for me.

Once she was gone I returned to searching my room for things I had never completed and would never now complete. My stereo was surrounded with CDs I had never listened to, songs I would never hear, my wardrobe filled with clothes I would never wear out of the house. I was distracted again from these thoughts by the entrance of the Gasman. At twelve years old, Gazzy was still so young, a fact I often forgot, and unlike the others who had sat nearby or held my hand, the Gasman did what for him was incredibly natural. He climbed straight into the bed beside me and cuddled up close, pressing his face into my shoulder. I held him close and tried unsuccessfully to rock him back and forth, but I lacked the energy and in the end I had to settle for simply running my hand through his hair. We sat like that for a while, neither of us feeling the need to speak, until finally I said the same words I had spoken to each of them in turn. "I love you."

"I love you too." He mumbled, the sound muffled by my shirt.

And that was that. He didn't need anymore and neither did I. Everything that needed to be said had been said. As he stood up to leave Angel came to the door, her face drawn. I squeezed Gazzy's hand one more time and then he left me with his sister.

* * *

SOMEWHERE IN FLORIDA

* * *

"We're almost there now." Clarissa said softly, putting her arm sympathetically around Alex's shoulders. The twins stared at the two of them as they built the fire, each using one hand for the matches and the other for the firewood. Nick looked at Amber and a look passed between them that complimented their thoughts. '_If we do not find her, we may not survive._' Alex was overwhelmed with his own guilt and grief, they could feel his mind wrapping around the same question over and over again. '_If I had stopped her would she still be here now_? _Would she still be alive? Is it my fault?'_

"Nick? Amber? Are we close?" Clarissa asked, her eyes pleading with them. '_Lie if you must.'_ She was thinking, urging them to understand that it was imperative that Alex keep going. _'He needs hope_,' she begged silently, '_please try to understand._' Amber nodded slowly to show their comprehension.

"We are . . . nearby." They said carefully. "We can promise nothing, but there is a definite shadow pathway nearby which we can feel. This could only have been created by Lily or yourself, as we have not previously travelled through this state." They directed this statement to Clarissa, but were uncomfortable with making such a misleading statement. "This could be seen to give hope to our search." They added as a disclaimer. Happy with their contribution to the conversation, they returned to building the campfire.

"Hear that Alex? The twins figure we're close." Clarissa tried to pull Alex from his reverie, but he simply continued to stare into the slowly rising fire.

* * *

ARIZONA

* * *

I stared at Max lying in the bed. She looked so weak. I felt a twinge in my chest at the sight of her. She held out her hand to me.

"Angel sweetie, come here." She said softly. Her eyes were sad and I could see the direction her thoughts were taking. She was preparing to speak to me about all the things she would miss about me, how proud she was of me and how much she loved me. So I cut her off. I had something to say first.

"Max." I said harshly and I wanted to start, I wanted so badly to tell her how she had destroyed me, how she had filled me with so much of her own pain that I couldn't feel anything else anymore, to remind her how young I was. For the first time in my life I wanted to blame her for everything wrong in our lives, in my life. I was so prepared . . . until I looked at her again. Until I saw how weak she had become, until I saw the deep overwhelming sadness in her dark eyes, until I felt the unsmotherable pain that filled her mind.

My shoulders dropped and I realized that I would never say these things that could only hurt, only wound, only make _me_ feel better.

In that moment I felt myself forgive her, unquestionably.

Tears ran down my cheeks for my poor, broken, dying mother.

"I love you." I said quietly. "I forgive you, for everything."

Max's face broke into a sad smile, so bittersweet that I would never erase it from my memory as long as I lived. It was the moment I most loved the woman who had made me who I was in almost every way, who had cared for me the way my mother never did, who had always loved me unconditionally.

"I love you too baby." She choked out and held her arms out to me for a hug. I crawled into her bed beside her and cried into her shoulder. I felt a huge weight lift off me as I clung to her, my chest heaving, my eyes streaming and my fists clutching. I sobbed for what felt like hours and all the time I could hear her thoughts floating with mine. Simple thoughts, loving memories, they crowded my mind. Each thought ended with the same punctuation mark of pain. _'I will never relive that moment again, soon it will be gone, my memories, everything that is me, is about to disappear.'_

* * *

**Ok so we're getting there slowly but surely. It took so long to update because I had serious trouble with this one and I'm still not entirely sure about it. First time I've done an Angel POV but I felt I needed to. Fang's up next for Max's final goodbye and then . . . only I know. I'll tell you one thing though, there's another 8 chapters in this story, at least! So hold on to your diapers babies, because this ride is nowhere near over! I hope you're all still enjoying it, but even if I get no response I will finish this story if only for my mental health! Until next time! Cat**


	58. Just Close Your Eyes

_My Waking Nightmare_

_Chapter 58_

_Just Close Your Eyes_

"You can go in now." Angel told me softly, her voice barely a whisper in my head.

I wobbled unsteadily to my feet and took a deep breath. Iggy had begun to make breakfast, his movements robotic, his hands occasionally shaking. I watched as the Gasman righted the tipping frying pan in his brother's hand, saving the floor from a downpour of egg yoke. Nudge quietly set the table, humming quietly to herself. I turned towards the stairs just as Angel was coming down.

"She shouldn't be left alone long." She told me, catching my eye, her sky blue orbs overflowing. "She has dark thoughts."

I nodded and tried to quicken my step, but still my feet dragged on the stairs. A desperate part of me was hoping that if I never said my final goodbyes then she could never die. I knew I was wrong, but I couldn't help but wish I could save her.

It was 10:42 am Boxing Day 2007. It was time to say goodbye.

My fingers froze on the cold metal of the doorknob and I took a moment to steady myself. When I opened the door she was sitting there happily, as if it were any other day. Any other day but this one.

I stepped inside and shut the door behind me. Her eyes followed me across the room, as if she were memorizing me. Even I knew the futility of trying to conserve her memories. After today there would be no more memories for her. No more anything for her. No more anything for me either.

_What will survive of us is love._

Some poet said that once. A British man. He died alone. So maybe it's not so bad. He seemed to understand anyway.

She's still watching me. Her eyes are burning into mine. Those beautiful brown eyes. I can't help but think how hard it will be to see them when the mind behind them is gone, when the life and light in them burns out. I didn't want to think. I just wanted to stare into her eyes forever. She blinked. I felt something deep inside me break.

"I wish I could go back," she whispered, "I'd do everything so differently. I'd fight harder for you. I think if I'd fought harder for you then maybe-"

"We would have had a wonderful life together." I said gently, taking her hand in mine.

"You think so?"

"I do." I nodded, keeping that hold on her hand. "We would have finished saving the world and then you would have convinced me to settle in here and I wouldn't have minded because we would have had our kids at home."

"We'd have kids?" She smiled.

"Well Iggy would need nieces and nephews and the kids need family." I smiled back; happy in this vision I was creating of our perfect past.

"We would have been a family." She sighed.

"Probably would have bought a big house in Colorado." I added. "That's a good place for a family." My mind was spinning with this dream world I was creating. It was no longer just for her, it was for both of us. I needed this just as much as she did.

"And I would have been happy," she murmured, "and that would have changed everything. It would have been fine if we could grow old together then life would be so perfectly ordinary " Her voice broke then and her smile became twisted, as if she were trying not to cry.

"Yeah." I said softly. It was all I could say. There were no words for the agony building up in my chest, closing me off from air, weighing me down, while she became frailer and frailer. Her hand was gripping mine with all her strength and still I could have simply brushed it off. This weakness fit wrong with the Max I knew. It was surreal, watching her struggle to do the simplest of things. Suddenly she leaned towards me, pulling me close. Her sobs began to shake her whole body. I felt her trembles down in my soul.

"My life is so unfinished." Her voice shook but rose in her anger. "It's unfinished and I'm not finished!" She sobbed pitifully in my arms and I held her tight, trying to protect her.

'No." I pulled her close. "No don't think that. . . Just close your eyes and think of our family and our house."

"And you there every night to come home to." She added faintly.

"And me there . . . I'm there." I said softly. Her sobs began to die away and I felt her grip get weaker. I lifted her up to look into her eyes again and she gazed into mine.

"Don't go." She whispered.

"Never." I said. "I'll never go. I love you."

"I love you too." She sighed. I could hear the strain in her voice, feel the long, deep breaths she was trying to take. I leaned in and kissed her gently. Her mouth moved lightly against mine. It was the sweetest kiss we had ever had. It was the last kiss we would ever have.

I felt the moment when she left me.

I felt her life extinguish in my arms.

My entire world went dark.

I could only cling to one thing. My own advice. Just close your eyes and think of our family and our house. So I did.

10:59am 26/12/07. End Max.

I just closed my eyes.

* * *

**So it's a short one. As I said before this is not the end. So DON'T PANIC. I will return as soon as I can to bring you the rest of the story. This is sort of the end of part 3 as such. Only part 4 to go, so we are in the homestretch! Hope you enjoyed this one! Cat**

**Btw, Anyone recognise this particular scene? It's partly taken from a very famous TV show. Whoever figures out which one first can have a preview of the next chapter. Just thought I'd make things interesting! Cat**

**Also the poet is Philip Larkin. The quote is from the Arundel Tomb. Well worth a perusal if anyone's interested.**


	59. Death, Questions, Shadows and Revenge

_My Waking Nightmare_

_Chapter 59_

_Death, Questions, Shadows and Revenge_

I sat with what was once Max for hours.

Eventually the kids came upstairs and found me cradling her empty body in my arms. Her eyes closed, her head leaning against my shoulder, it was as if she were just asleep, but I could feel her body temperature slowly falling despite my warm hold and with each degree that disappeared I had to reconcile myself with the fact that she was gone.

Nudge and Angel coaxed Max from my arms and carefully put her back to bed, their tears falling on her cold skin. Then Iggy led me gingerly down to the kitchen. It was a role reversal that made me sick to my stomach. Eventually, I started to eat the food that they placed in front of me, but my mind was stagnant, my eardrums throbbing. I couldn't think properly, all of my movements were mechanical. I was only doing what was necessary to survive.

There was a gaping hole somewhere deep inside of me but I was trying to ignore it. I couldn't truly face the pain today. I couldn't do anything today. I was almost numb, almost. I knew I had suffered a great loss and yet . . . I felt disconnected from it, as if it weren't happening to me, just someone I once knew. Someone far away. I ate my breakfast and then I sat at the table. I noticed nothing, I thought nothing, I felt nothing.

Maybe . . . It was me who died.

* * *

Alex stood outside the large house and tried to make a decision. His mind warped around the idea of staying and doing nothing but waiting for these wingéd people to return. He couldn't do nothing, not when there was so much at stake, but what COULD he do?

The twins stood on either side of him, their expressions blank. Clarissa was scouting the area. He had literally minutes to decide their next move. Either they entered the house or they moved on to somewhere more promising. The twins were sure that this was where Lily had travelled last. They were sure that this was the house of Maximum Ride, but it was deserted.

The twins looked at him questioningly and he shrugged his shoulders. What would Lily do? He wished he knew.

* * *

"Sir," the young cadet whispered into his radio, "we've spotted activity around the Florida house." He and his four companions had been guarding this same spot for six hours every day for the past week. He was on the graveyard shift again tonight and he was stared for energy despite having slept through most of the day. The sweltering heat of Naples, even now in its wintertime had been driving his whole team mad and until now there had been no results. Then suddenly, out of the blue, these four scruffy teenagers had quite literally _appeared_ on the front lawn in the middle of the night.

There skin had this beautiful almost translucent quality that led you to believe they were as fragile as Venetian glass and their hair whipped frantically in the wind . . . except that there was no wind, the night was still tonight. There wasn't even a slight breeze. Then he saw their eyes.

They were black through and through like an animal's, but more . . . intelligent, more . . . sentient almost. They flickered this way and that, but with no pupil it was impossible to tell what exactly, at any time, they were looking at. The effect was eerie, but beautiful. The young man subconsciously reached out his hand and then stopped. The field he was under would not prevent him from leaving, but once he reached over its boundaries it would cease to protect him. Something crackled over his walky.

"Flyers or shadows?" His superior asked.

"Shadows, Sir. Definitely shadows."

* * *

"Everything is prepared?"

"Yes ma'am all of the machines and units are in place."

"We have constant surveillance?"

"Yes ma'am we do."

"And Maximum Ride is as she should be?"

"Ready to be placed six feet under."

"Excellent." The Director smiled grimly. She fiddled with the pen in her hand and turned in her twisting chair. She was overjoyed that her three year plan was finally coming to fruition but she was working hard to stop herself from celebrating prematurely. Her long-awaited bottle of champagne would remain unopened until her package had arrived and she saw it for herself. "We move in two days. Get the men ready to mobilise and for God's sake make sure you get footage of her funeral, that's something I shall watch with relish."

Her general stood up and made a short bow.

"I'll report back in the morning." He barked; as Army General's are wont to do she thought, the man could probably give deaf people headaches.

"Make sure you do." She said condescendingly and returned to the sheets in front of her. Unfortunately, revenge seemed to require a lot of paperwork.

* * *

**So this is a strange little sort of bit of everything chapter. I just need to get straight in everyone's minds what's happening right now and that it's all happening at the same time. All will be revealed soon. Don't kill me yet or you'll never find out my ending! Thanks for Reading! Cat**

**ps no one has as of yet guessed what tv show; it's not House, the OC, One Tree Hill or any soaps. It's a popular American Series. My offer will stay open until someone gets it right or until the end of the story. So keep guessing :)**


	60. Remember Me When I Am Gone Away

_My Waking Nightmare_

_Chapter 60_

_Remember Me When I Am Gone Away_

It had been two days since Max had died in my arms. Two days since my mind had ceased to function. Two days since I had smiled.

I still hadn't cried.

I wasn't sure if I ever would. It was so fresh. Two days ago she had been warming her side of our bed. Now Iggy was helping me dress for her funeral.

He straightened my black tie with his uncanny ability to 'see' my appearance and then placed one hand carefully on my shoulder.

"Are you ready?" He asked me gently.

"I don't think I'll ever be ready," I sighed, "but I know that it's time."

He nodded in understanding his face fixed in its now perpetual expression of grief. He reached one hand into his own pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. He placed it tentatively into my hand. It was slightly crumpled and ink-stained, but I let my hand close around it.

"Max chose it," the blind man said simply, "to be read today. I think it was important to her that you be the one to do it."

I nodded, a stab of grief going through my heart at the mention of her name.

Gone.

We transferred into the hall, joining the others. All dressed in black we stepped into the car Dr. Martinez had ordered for us. The details from then on were blurry. I barely noticed the drive there, was unconscious of the walk to the cemetery and was paralysed of thought for the arrival of the coffin. Suddenly there it was and there we were. Like Ari's funeral there were no ministers, no well-wishers, no sweet old ladies with handkerchiefs. There was only her Flock, Dr. Martinez, Ella and Jeb. Us, a coffin and a six -foot hole in the ground. My hands started to shake. It wasn't cold.

Gone.

No Fang, she's right there, lying in that wooden box, so close. So far away. Gone.

My fists clenched. Jeb glanced at me. His eyes were red. They were raw from tears. Jeb could cry. Where were my tears? Where was she? My eyes trailed to that wooden box. It burned my eyes. That simple wooden box that would bury all of my dreams. It was a long time before anyone said anything.

Angel stepped forward first.

"Max loved us all very much." She started, her voice strained through her raw emotion. "She lived her life in a lot of pain, which she always went to great lengths to hide from us. She was more to each of us than just a friend. Max was the only mother I ever had." She choked a little, her voice beginning to break and the Gasman stepped forward to wrap his hand around hers. "The only mother I will ever have." She continued. "I owe her more than my thanks, I owe her my life, something I would gladly have given for hers. Max was never simply one thing. She was my leader, my mother, my friend, my sister, my mentor, my saviour, my guide and my beacon of bright, shining hope. No one outside of our flock could ever understand the beauty that was Max. No one could ever catch the essence of her. No one else ever will. I will always miss her. I will always need her. I will always wish I could have saved her."

The ten year-old girl stepped back. Her head was bent low, her tears splashing on the grass. Her brother put his arm tenderly around her shoulders and she leaned against him. Jealousy burst through me that she had someone to lean on, that she had someone to rely on, to comfort her. I had no one and I felt that loss more keenly now that I was confronted with it.

The wooden box filled my vision and I wanted to stop this madness now. I wanted to throw the lid off and drag Max away from this insanity. It wasn't real. It couldn't be real. Surely nothing could ever hurt this much.

Iggy nudged me forward and I felt my tenuous grasp on reality slip. I reached into my pocket and found that tiny bit of Max, the sheet she wanted me to read. I pulled it out and opened it shakily.

"Max asked-" I stalled. My head was spinning. This couldn't be happening. I felt adrift but I wasn't just floating, I was drowning. My breathing slowed to almost nothing as I felt myself losing touch. Suddenly, I felt a firm hand slip into mine. It pulled me back from the edge. It reminded me so much of another hand that used to fill that space. Max's mom smiled at me and gave my fingers a gentle squeeze.

The gratitude that I felt for her at that moment was overwhelming. I was no longer lost. I was heart-broken. I was grief-stricken. I would never recover. But I was no longer lost. I took a deep breath and started again.

"Max asked that I read this today. I apologise in advance if I find myself unable to finish it."

I looked at the page in my trembling hand. It was a poem. I took a deep breath. I began.

"_Remember me when I am gone away,_

_Gone far away into the silent land;_

_When you can no more hold me by the hand,_

_Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay._

_Remember me when no more day by day_

_You tell me of our future that you planned:_

_Only remember me; you understand_

_It will be late to counsel then or pray._

_Yet if you should forget me for a while_

_And afterwards remember, do not grieve:_

_For if the darkness and corruption leave_

_A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,_

_Better be far you should forget and smile_

_Than that you should remember and be sad."_

There were drops of liquid on the page. My cheeks were damp. My eyes were stinging. I walked to the wooden box and opened the lid. I touched one hand to Max's cold cheek and leaned in and dropped a kiss on her lips.

"I will never forget you," I whispered fervently, "don't you dare believe I will ever forget you. I love you." I looked at her face one last time; her ash-blond hair neatly arranged around her head, her lips full, her chin tilted slightly to the left.

But her cheeks were pale, the colour of death and her eyes were closed. I would have given anything to see her dark eyes open again, to see them look into mine, to hear her speak, to watch her smile. In the end, I closed my eyes and I turned away. I closed the lid. A single drop landed on the casket. Just one last tear. I felt my heart tear out of my body as I walked away from her. I felt my soul drain from me with each clump of earth that fell on her coffin as they hid her away beneath the earth, far from the skies she'd loved so much. Today they buried two hearts. I left it in her keeping. Even now it felt wrong to try and take it back. It was hers. It always had been. Now it was buried deep beneath the grass. So was she. I stayed until the last sod of earth had been returned to its rightful place and then, my family brought me home.

**Again its short but I'm working on short chapters that end in the right places and convey the emotions intended rather than long drawn-out ones that make people lose interest. The competition has been won! The lucky winner is Midnitekitten93 and she read this chapter before anyone else so I hope that added something special to it for her! The hit American TV series was in fact . . . Grey's Anatomy. I always intended to use the scene after I saw it. Anyone interested in who the conversation was between is welcome to PM me. **

**Aside from that I'd like to add again that this story is not as close to completion as some people seem to think it is! There are still one or two surprises left so relax!**

**Thanks for reading, (this chapter made ME cry!) Cat**

**Ps the poem is called Remember by Christina Rossetti and is one of my favourites.**


	61. Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

_My Waking Nightmare_

_Chapter 61_

Alex had decided to return to the Florida house they had found three days ago. After 48 hours of fruitless searching the twins were no absolutely certain that this was the house they sought. He sighed. Now it was just a question of finding out when this group he was supposed to find were planning on coming home. Heck maybe they could have some kind of welcoming party ready and waiting.

Clarissa looked at him and then at the house.

"We could probably go inside." She said helpfully. "I doubt there would be any issue about getting in." Alex nodded and he and the twins started for the door. Clarissa did a visual sweep of the area before she followed them. For a second she thought she saw something, a flash of black and her hair stood on end, but then it was gone and she knew it had only been her imagination and the fact that her nerves were strung high today.

Once she'd reached the door she found Alex trying to fiddle the lock open. Nick and Amber stood either side of him, keeping him calm, their eyes flashing with the strain of controlling his almost overwhelming emotions. Lily had always been the one to pick the locks. It was a skill that had come in handy many times.

"Got it." Alex mumbled and he opened the door a crack as they all slipped inside. They could have travelled into the house easily through the shadows but if ITEX had Lily, as they believed they did then they might be anticipating a visit, especially if they had caught her near here. Travelling in their usual inconspicuous way would have triggered every alarm bell ITEX might have put in place. Better safe than sorry.

Looking around the enormous house they found themselves stunned by the luxury that other hybrids could live in. What were they doing wrong? They all moved around the house marveling at the rooms and the furniture. Each bedroom in the house had it's own large, comfortable bed, each room characterized and personal. Considering the hovel they lived in, Alex was embarrassed by the comforts he found here. He looked to the others for their reactions but they were absorbed in the wonder of what surrounded them.

"So what do we do now?" Nudge asked quietly as they sat at the breakfast table. Everyone looked up at her and she swallowed hard. Iggy was clearly desperate to go home and see Alice, his eyes were sad and lonely and he needed her. Angel and Gazzy were a unit, holding each other's hands and keeping each other calm. It was impossible to look at Fang. He hadn't spoken since yesterday.

It didn't seem like anyone was going to answer and for a few moments the question hung painfully between them. Suddenly a voice escaped from Fang's throat.

"Home." He said tonelessly. "We'll just go home."

He picked up his bowl and carried it to the sink where he paused for a moment as if mentally preparing himself. Finally, he sighed and the Flock watched as he straightened a little.

"I suggest you all go and pack your bags." He sighed. "We leave in an hour."

Around the table everyone nodded and then filed out of the room, depositing their bowls in the sink next to Fang on the way out. Nudge was last and she stood beside him staring out of the window. Then she glanced at Fang and leaned in for a hug. He didn't say anything as she wrapped her arms around his waist and, for one of those rare occasions in her life, neither did she. They simply stood at the window, close together, comforting each other wordlessly over the death of his wife. And Fang was thankful, he was overwhelmingly grateful to Nudge for understanding that all he needed was a hug.

_**Hug**__ - to clasp tightly in the arms, esp. with affection; embrace, to cling firmly or fondly to; cherish: __to hug an opinion, __to keep close to, as in sailing, walking, or in moving along or alongside of, to cling together, a tight clasp with the arms; embrace__. The noun was originally (1617) a hold in wrestling__._

The four of them ended up in what appeared to be a living room, after an hour of looking through the house. They had seen houses like it before on their travels but never before had they imagined that a band of merry mutants not so unlike themselves could achieve such heights, such stability. They had each flopped down onto a separate sofa, letting their bodies and minds relax for a short time. It seemed like they'd never stopped moving since they'd escaped almost four years ago. It was really nice to have a moment to relax. And on that pleasant note, Alex, Clarissa, Nick and Amber heard a click out in the hallway. Interestingly it didn't sound like a group of avian-hybrid teens coming home from wherever it was that they were. In fact, it sounded suspiciously like a door being quietly shut. This was followed by the decidedly uncomforting sound of someone trying very hard to pretend that their footsteps made no sound at all. The four teenagers sat up with the true silence of a human who wasn't quite human and looked at each other. Alex remembered why they never relaxed. He took a quick scan of the room and singled out the darkened fireplace. It seemed useless in a climate like this but he thanked every minor and major deity he could think of that it was there. He nodded to the others when he heard the muffled whispers from behind the door. How stupid did these people think they were? He wondered. Slowly and noiselessly Amber slinked towards the shadows in the fireplace and stood there waiting. Nick followed behind her stealthily and then Clarissa. As Alex went to join them he spotted an empty frame over the mantelpiece. Of all the pictures in this room, this had been the one that someone had taken the time to remove. Why? Assumedly it was something important. As he slipped under the wooden structure he wondered what kind of people this 'flock' were and if they could really help them. As the soldiers burst through the door the four teenagers began to fade. There was yelling. There was an odd beeping noise. There was also an acute cry of frustration. Then, there was nothing.

I slung my backpack over my shoulder and took a final sweep of the room. I had decided that it would be better to leave Max's dress behind. The idea of carrying it around with me was painful and the thought that it might get lost or destroyed on the journey to Florida made my stomach twist. In a way, I felt that that dress was a connection to her and as such I decided that I would prefer it to be somewhere safe. I had also toyed with the idea of bringing her backpack with me, but really I knew that the extra weight would be too much for such a long haul trip. Reaching into her bag I took out the folded sheet I had found earlier. She had brought the photograph with her. I slipped the old photo into the back of my pocket and took a moment to remember those good old times in Colorado. Then I was ready to go. I ran my hand over the bed we had shared not so long ago, one last time and then I was out the door and down the stairs, calling the flock to arms. I was out the door and into the sky in one fluid movement with kids stumbling out after me trying to keep up. My main aim was to make it past the cemetery. I couldn't look at it, I had to keep going, so I was pushing myself as far away as I could before I would need to stop and wait for the others. _Goodbye Max._ I thought. _Soon I'll be back and I'll never have to leave you again._

Lily blinked her eyes open. There wasn't much of a difference from when they were closed now that her eyelids had been thinned by the endless stream of light, but it made her feel better to keep them tight shut. She could feel her eyesight going now, following her speech and touch. Now that the nerve endings of her body were burnt to a crisp the pain had started to go away. She wasn't sure how much of a blessing that was though. Even of she managed to escape now she knew that she was so far beyond recovery that she would never regain her senses. She would never be given the chance to apologise to her family, to hold their hands, hug them tight or to see their faces. She was a useless wreck. Yet something had made her open her eyes. Something was happening that was important, she could feel it. She slowly started to spread her other senses. Allowing them to slide out into the room around her and then grow and grow and grow until they encompassed almost the entire building and there it was. Excitement. It was palpable in the air. She probably could have felt the energy in the place even without her skills. Someone was coming. Someone important. The Director was meeting with her top people, in one of the outer buildings and underlings were scurrying to and fro around the main operating theatre. They were setting up something huge. A tube of some sort, large enough to stand in. A device for . . .

There was a loud crash and her concentration was pulled to somewhere else. Suddenly the Director was radioed and everything began to move very fast. The Director was out of her meeting in seconds. At the same time an armoured vehicle was pulling into the facility. The Director had reached the main entrance by the time the drivers had jumped out of the front. She was by their sides as the back doors of the van were flung open and the trolley inside was yanked out and pulled quickly to the doors, the Director moving quickly alongside it. Whoever was on the trolley was covered in a thin white sheet, but Lily was sure that whoever it was, this was whom ITEX had been waiting for, preparing for. Maximum Ride had arrived.

**Oooooh! Kind of shorter and later than I intended but there were some unavoidable and unexpected complications this weekend. I hope you all enjoyed this and I'll start on the next chapter soon but I can promise nothing. I have my driving test this Wed and a show all bank holiday weekend. PLUS, all the time I have to spend studying now that I am only 5 weeks away from my big final exams! I graduate from school on the 19****th**** so that week will be kind of busy too! Hang in there though because I will finish this. **

**I'll probably have this all wrapped up by the end of the summer. Which brings me to my LAST POINT I PROMISE! Basically after this I'm going to be moving over to Fictionpress, probably pretty permanently. I have my own story all lined up although I won't be starting it until this one is finished. I feel kind of weird plugging it here, but I just wanted to say that you guys have been great and the support has really given me the confidence to do my own stuff. **

**ALSO WE'RE ALMOST AT 1000 REVIEWS!!! Too cool for words!**

**Until next time! Cat**


	62. Thus With A Kiss I Die

_My Waking Nightmare_

_Chapter 62_

_Thus with a kiss I die._

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_  
_

"_When presently through all thy veins shall run_

_A cold and drowsy humour, for no pulse_

_Shall keep his native progress, but surcease:_

_No warmth, no breath shall testify thou livest,_

_The roses in thy lips and cheeks shall fade_

_To wanny ashes, thy eyes' windows fall_

_Like death when he shuts up the day of life._

_Each part depriv'd of supple government_

_Shall stiff and stark and cold appear, like death,_

_And in this borrow'd likeness of shrunk death_

_Thou shalt continue two and forty hours_

_And then awake as from a pleasant sleep."_

_-Romeo and Juliet

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_

Fang kissed me and I felt myself drowning in his arms. My mind was tugging at my body. It was trying to leave. It was trying to take me away at this very moment, trying to pull me away from him. I tried to resist. I tried so hard but I was just so tired and everything hurt. I felt myself slipping away, my mind fading into oblivion. Everything went foggy. And then suddenly there were bright lights shining directly into my eyes and shadows were shuffling around me. My retinas were burning and I tried to close my eyelids, only to discover that they were already shut. I felt a tingling sensation somewhere and that was when I realised that I couldn't feel anything else. My eyes were functioning though. I tried to creak them open a notch but the bright lights scorched them and I abandoned the attempt. What if this was death? What if everyone thought I was dead but really I just couldn't move? A terrifying image flashed in my mind, of me being buried alive and I began to panic. Was there anyone who could save me or did this happen to all 'dead' people? Was Ari, even now, lying in his coffin waiting for someone to rescue him? Suddenly, a faint buzzing noise sounded in my newly discovered aural senses. My ears were suddenly there. I could feel them on either side of my head. I had eyes, I had ears. Did I have a nose? Arms? Legs? Did I still have a mouth? Would it still feel Fang's lips on mine? It couldn't have been more than a few seconds since Fang had been holding me close and saying goodbye. Where was he now? The low buzzing was growing louder, increasing in decibels by the second. I felt someone place a cold hand on my head. I tried to jump, to pull away, but I couldn't move. I was reaching new levels of panic now. Where was my flock? Who was touching me? Where was the rest of me? Suddenly air exploded into my lungs and my regained mouth flew open of its own accord to gasp for more. The heavy smell of chemicals immediately flooded into my nose and I felt all of my senses come alive. Within seconds I knew where I was and my body was jerking into place. Another hand had pushed my head back down to the table, my mouth still wide open, gaping like a fish as I literally floundered on what I now knew to be a table. Then I felt the strangest thing. There was a surge of warmth spreading from my chest out. I felt a slight hop next to my lung and suddenly my heart began to beat again. When had my heart stopped? How had it started again? Blood rushed into my limbs and I felt as if someone were stabbing me all over with a thin spike of metal. I writhed in pain and fear and it took me a long time to realise that I was experiencing severe pins and needles. Suddenly my wings were there behind me and I had full control of my entire body. Now I was in a position to find my family.

I sat up.

Only I didn't, because the nasty metal bars strapping me to the table disagreed with my plans. Mental note to self: close-fitting metal bars hurt when you hit them, must try to check for them in future, bruises do not become me. Now I was certain that I knew where I was. Smells like a chemistry lab, has blinding white lights and seemingly an unlimited supply of slabs, lab technicians and close-fitting metal bars. Did I leave out the part about their lack of common courtesy or should I just leave you all to assume? The shadows shuffling around the room were whitecoats, taking my stats, testing my reflexes, probably doing some evil stuff too because with these guys you just never knew. When I had finally made my dramatic entrance into their little oxygen-breathing, semi-alive world they had gone into a panic, calling for backup, holding me down, taking my stats, except for the one guy who was messing around with my knee. I can't be sure, but bizarrely enough, I think that he was still checking my reflexes. What an exciting guy. He must love his job.

If I was right about where I was, which I was, then I had approximately six minutes before the bad guys 'took me to their leader'. Or alternatively took them to me. I was just that important. And as usual, within six minutes a new face had appeared beside me. I assumed that she was the big boss, because when she came in everyone left a big space around her as if she were a leper. Or maybe she just smelled really bad. I could feel myself reverting to my fourteen-year-old self, the smart alec in me that had dealt with these people before. I was eighteen and yet I had an overwhelming urge to tell this woman exactly what I thought of her odour. Somehow I overpowered my inner teenager and looked this woman straight in the eye with my famous defiant glare.

"Where are my family?" I asked calmly and precisely.

There are lots of reactions that you might expect to this kind of question in this kind of situation. I'd seen them all; maniacal James Bond villain laughter, the calm, cool and collected smirk usually followed by an 'oh you'll see soon enough' possibly tinged with some maniacal laughter, I'd even seen the Jeb and Anne approach, which consisted of sad faces and guilty or disappointed looks. This woman surprised me. She did the last thing I would ever have expected. She grabbed a scalpel from the metal tray beside her and with one swift movement, sliced open the side of my right calf. I screamed in pain. I had to hand it to her; she had caught me completely by surprise.

I felt my warm blood spill over the sliced, gaping edges of my skin and running off my leg onto the slab below me. I tried to block it out but it was too much for me. It had been so long since I had felt a pain like this. It was so different from the deep, searing ache in my back. It was an intense, overwhelming burst of pure agony and I couldn't ignore it.

"Maximum Ride I have waited years for this moment." The woman whispered in my ear as I tried to control my cries of pain. What was happening? Who was this woman? Why was she torturing me?

"What the hell _is_ this?" I screamed.

The woman smiled.

"I'm so glad you asked." She said running the scalpel lightly down my arm. I felt my skin split open under the metal and I screamed again. I was losing blood quickly. Had they brought me back to life just to kill me cruelly? How long did I have? Where were my family?

"You see Maximum Ride," the woman continued maliciously, "I've been planning this for years, slowly building this company back up to its former glory, tracking your every move, potting your downfall and now here you are, I have succeeded."

"My family will come for me. They'll save me. You'll never get away with this, they never do." I spat out. I couldn't think clearly. The nerves in my right hand side were shrieking at me, begging me to end this torture.

"Well that's the beauty of this plan." She grinned. "They're not coming. They're never coming. As far as your flock are concerned, you are dead. We lifted you from your grave, the grave that they put you in when your heart stopped beating. It was such an emotional moment; it nearly brought tears to my eyes. Why, your poor little boyfriend could barely control himself, he was so lost in his own pain." The deep hatred in her voice shone through to me as her words slashed at my heart the way her scalpel slashed at my skin.

"Why do you hate me? What have I done to you? Who _are_ you?" I cried.

"I hate you because you have what I want at my expense. You ruined my life simply by existing and then you destroyed this company, just when I had the chance to do something great. Who am I? I am Vanessa Boland. I am the Director of ITEX. And I am going to make the rest of your life a living hell, just because I can. You've ruined my plans for the last time and you'll pay for every single time you destroyed my work!"

Anger rushed though me. I didn't know this woman. She was blaming me for all the crap in her life. She was trying to make mine miserable. She had most definitely crossed the line. This self-righteous bitch was trying to destroy me. It was time to show her that a couple of scratches and some mental beatings wasn't enough to bring me down, not by a long shot. She leant over me, that smirking grin plastered onto her face and I spat straight in her eye. Years of practice had made my aim true and she staggered back from me cursing. I felt a tiny moment of pride in myself before she embedded her scalpel in my hand. Again she'd caught me by surprise. I tried to hold back the scream that erupted from my throat but it was too powerful.

"For all of your pride, for all of your arrogance, for all of your sarcastic comebacks, you're still only a weak, insignificant, little child!" The Director spat. "No one is coming to save you. You're going to die here all alone and I'm going to make it as slow and painful as I possibly can."

"If I'm so insignificant, then why are you so desperate to kill me?" I retorted. "I died once, I can do it again." I was lying through my teeth. For once I was truly afraid of what these people would do to me. She was right. This time, no one was coming.

"You never died," the Director said spitefully, "we simply stopped your heart for forty-eight hours, so your bravado, while typical, is useless. In removing you from your family in such a way that they truly believed you were dead, I have succeeded where every other Director of this company has failed. I have sucked all of the hope out of your eyes and I can see it. That is my revenge. You are going to die here in the most cruel of ways and your family will never know that they could have saved you. The best part of it is, that once I have finished with you, you will die with the knowledge that every member of your flock will suffer the same fate."

Having said her piece the woman turned on her heel and walked to the door. Over her shoulder she addressed her employees.

"Clean up her wounds. I want her healthy and fit for our next session tomorrow afternoon."

Then she was gone and I was left to think about all the things that she had said. As the scientist scuttered around me, stitching me up, cleaning away my blood and dressing my wounds I wondered how I had come to this. I felt anger and hatred coursing through my veins, but it was futile. The Director was right. There was nothing I could do. All hope was lost. I had finally been defeated.

They had broken Maximum Ride.

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**So not much to say here except that I'm so glad that this chapter is finally out of the way. I hope you guys liked it. I hope it explained some stuff. I was going to drag this story out a little longer but I just don't have the energy or the time so I'm starting to wrap things up now. I think that we're coming towards the end now, unless I DRASTICALLY alter my plans. So if I can't update until the end of June it's because of my final exams. I graduate from school on Tuesday the 19****th**** of May and then the exams finish on the 18****th**** of June, so I might not get anything up till after then**

**Thanks for your support we're nearly at 1000 reviews! **

**Cat**


	63. Who Are You?

* * *

_My Waking Nightmare_

_Chapter 63_

_Who Are You?

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_

It had been three weeks since I had met Director Boland. I had to admit that when I first made her acquaintance I'd thought she was a freaky psychopathic bitch who was ruining my life. Having spent three weeks in her company I couldn't say that my viewpoint had changed much. My body was covered from head to toe in stitches and barely healed wounds. The scars on my back were no longer my most noticeable or hideous feature. Even if Fang ever had found me and managed to save me from this hellhole he would have been entirely within his rights to ditch me on the side of the road. Honestly, in the state I was in I probably wouldn't notice the difference. Not that that could ever happen now.

Yesterday she had chopped off huge chunks of my hair with a blunt scissors, like some kind of demented barber, leaving clumps of stubble everywhere. It wasn't my appearance I objected to, it was the lack of humanity I'd been left with afterwards. I was no longer recognisable as the girl who had saved the world or the woman who had sat on a mountaintop with her husband. I had more in common with a concentration camp victim than a human being, all the way down to the dead light in my eyes. I had no energy left to fight with and no hope left to fuel me. I simply sat quietly every day hoping, praying that soon someone would kill me.

When I'd first arrived the Director had told me that I would suffer with the knowledge that my family would die after me, that they would each endure the same fate as I was now. That had unfortunately given me a will to survive. If I could save them then I had to try. For days my mind had raced through plans of escape, looking for opportunities, until finally I had made a break for it one bright afternoon when the science team were sluggish in the heat of the desert but I was quick and able.

_**Flashback**_

_Taking a flying leap from the slab I threw aside the solder I had stolen from the whitecoat nearest to me and began to run for the door. With the windows barred I only had one means of escape and it counted on my getting to the door before anyone else in the room. The incredibly recent burn marks where my cuffs had been mad their presence known as I skidded across the room my legs almost collapsing beneath me with the long forgotten strain of holding me upright. Then I was almost there, my fingers almost touching the door and a whitecoat stepped out of a closet I hadn't noticed before and fired a taser at me. I felt my muscles give way beneath me and then a woman stepped over me and looked down. _

"_Tut tut tut Ms Ride. We can't have you pulling crazy stunts like this all the time. Something will have to be done."_

_I woke up in a new room alone and attached to a new upright slab. The metal straps around me now rubbed against the burns I had endured escaping from the last ones and they were thicker and wider than before. I felt my stomach sink but I knew that this could only be allowed to be a temporary set back. I had to save the flock. Either I needed to warn them or I had to destroy this company myself. I wouldn't allow them to be treated this way. No more of us needed to die. I was just planning through my next escape route when a voice crackled over an intercom in the corner. _

"_Ms Ride, we're so glad you're awake." It was Director Boland in her bitter yet saccharine tone. "You see we have something to show you. We decided that it was time to really teach you a lesson and you see, you haven't been paying a lot of attention to us. We can't just have you sitting there plotting all day. We'd much rather that all your attention was focused on your __**own**__ torture and not the future torture of your nearest and dearest." _

_In front of me a blind began to slowly lift revealing a two-way mirror. _

"_And of course the only way to ensure that you're not fretting about your nearest and dearest… is to remove them from the equation entirely."_

_As the screen got higher and higher I began to see six glass tubes attached to the ground, each with a pair of terrifyingly familiar shoes or paws in them. I felt bile rise in my throat. _

"_And the only way we could ever remove your particularly stubborn loved ones from your mind is to remove them from this earth. Such a shame really, they were all moving on so well after your death. Did you know that your little boyfriend had found himself a new girl? They all prefer her now anyway, she's much more capable and strong than you were in the end. Isn't that right kids?"_

"_What's going on? Where are we?" The Gasman's voice floated to me over the intercom, filled with fear and pain._

_I felt my heart drop out of my stomach. They were here, the school had brought them here, to teach me a lesson, but how-? And then I could see everything. The blind was up fully now and in front of me, each with one glass tube to themselves stood my flock. Their eyes were wide and terrified, their mouths open, their hands pressed up against the glass looking for a way out. I could see Fang on the far left, his dark hair and dark eyes moving quickly around the room looking for a way out of the situation. I pulled at my restraints, I screamed, I cried. No one so much as glanced my way. Director Boland continued to talk into her intercom, but I could barely hear her. Angel was on the far right next to Total, her blue eyes were darting to and fro probably listening to every conversation in the room, if only she could hear me, if only I could get through. _

_Then the Director did the unspeakable. She told me to say goodbye to my flock. I screamed at her, hurling abuse, begging, hurling more abuse, pleading, my body fighting for freedom, but she simply walked straight up to the two way mirror, grinned at me and then turned neatly to the man nearest her._

"_Kill them."_

"_NO!" I screamed but it was too late, I watched as Iggy jerked backwards in pain and Nudge screamed in agony. I saw the Gasman fall to the ground of his tube as his bones snapped out of the fronts of his legs. Fang pummelled on the sides of his tube, his wings thrown out wide and flailing, desperately trying to escape, his eyes searching for something, anything, as his blood spurted from his shins. Then Angel's screams filled my mind, penetrated my skull._

"_ANGEL!" I screamed but she didn't even look at me._

_I screamed and pulled at my restraints and cried and begged, pleaded with the director to leave them alone to put me in there instead, to leave them be. I got no answer and I watched as the horrible machines methodically broke every bone in my family's bodies from their feet to their skulls. It was faster for the older ones, with less bones the machine reached Fang and Iggy's heads within two minutes and then they were gone, leaving nothing but blood, skin, bones and feathers behind. I watched until the very end, until Angel's eyes turned on me at last and I cried her name._

"_Angel, please, I'm sorry, I love you."_

_My little girl stared at me and in her last moments she whispered in my head. _

"_Who are you?" and then she was gone._

_**End Flashback **_

They left me there for hours that day to stare at the red stains that were once the only people in the world I really cared about. I couldn't understand it, I couldn't take it in. They were gone and it didn't really seem possible.

Within a week I had come to terms with the fact that I had nothing left to live for. After that, my life had become a series of torture dates with the Director and medical check ups with the doctors. I had nothing left in me. If what the Director had said was true, and I had no way of knowing either way, then Fang hadn't even waited a few days before picking up someone new. It made sense really, I wasn't coming back as far as he was concerned, and yet, it hurt like hell to think of him with someone else. Not that it mattered now. He was dead wasn't he? They were all dead. And yet… something felt wrong. I felt like I should know more instinctively that they were dead. I was probably just in denial, couldn't face the fact that they were gone. It had definitely been them. There was no one else in the world like my flock. Except for that one question. That one question from my baby sister that just kept floating around in my head.

Who are you?

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**Alright! I'm back! Rejoice! Big exams are over, summer is here at last!**

**I've been mucho mucho busy and for that I must apologise! However I'm here now and all the groveling in the world can't change the fact that I have taken much longer to update than previously promised!**

** This chapter took me ages simply because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with it. Also I lost my original idea, which was more Nudge centred but I can't find it and so I had to start something else from scratch! **

**Hope you enjoyed this! The machine is back from chapter 36 and this is chapter 63 strange how that worked out! Hope there are still some people out there reading this! Cat**


	64. Nudge

_My Waking Nightmare_

_Chapter 64_

_Nudge_

Nudge sat down at her table in the school cafeteria and sighed to herself. News had travelled fast through the school of Max's death. Many people avoided her now, for fear she would cry all over them and get emotional. Really she just wanted a friend, someone to talk to. She craved social contact, because at home, things were somber. Iggy had moved in with Alice across town, but they often stayed in the Flock house to spend more time with Fang. Not that Fang was very talkative at the moment. He was there on the outside, but like Max had been, he was dead on the inside. Really, he was just going through the motions until his time came. Angel had been devastated when Max had finally passed away. The stress of holding everyone else's emotions as well as her own had finally gotten to her. She didn't come to school any more because Fang was letting her have some time to herself.

That left the Gasman, but he didn't want to talk. Gazzy was on social lockdown.

So there she sat, all set to talk to anyone about anything, but completely alone. It was enough to make her cry. For the last three days, she had, but today she was no going to cry. Today she was going to eat her lunch alone, again.

She thought about how quickly her life had changed. She had gone from being a queen bee to a social outcast in a matter of days. The only mother she had ever had was dead and in just a few short months she would be the oldest surviving member of the flock. She thought she might be sick.

Afraid of embarrassing herself in front of the whole school she picked up her untouched tray and stood up abruptly to leave. In doing so, she hit something rather hard and all of her survival training took over. Now wielding the tray in a more weapon-like fashion and crouched in a fighting stance Nudge looked up sharply. Except that what she was looking at wasn't an eraser or a whitecoat. It was a boy. The poor thing was looking very surprised. Nudge relaxed sheepishly and, too embarrassed to even look him in the eye, she addressed her tray while she mumbled her apology and then she turned and bolted out of the room, taken her tray of uneaten food with her.

"Hey wait!" She heard from behind her. Turning to glance at her pursuer she stifled a groan of irritation. He was coming after her! Couldn't he understand that all she wanted was a bit of peace and quiet? She corrected herself, really all she wanted was a friend, but he certainly wouldn't do! She'd be far too distracted by those gorgeous dark brown eyes she had seen and that floppy blonde hair that was almost falling into his face. For a moment she almost considered stopping herself and turning around to talk to him, but then she remembered Mike and she pulled herself together and continued half-walking half-running down the school corridors.

"Tiffany wait up!" He called from behind. He knew her name! Oh good lord he knew her name! Now what? She couldn't just keep ignoring him! She stopped, turned and calmly faked ignorance.

"Me?" She asked using her best acting skills, the ones that had been honed by years on the run, the ones that would now convince this very nice looking boy that she hadn't realised it was her he had been chasing.

"Yes you." He smiled brightly despite having run halfway across the school after her.

"How do you know my name?" She asked, her eyes narrowing of their own accord.

"Are you kidding? In this school how could I not know your name?" He grinned.

Her mouth twitched up a little and her heart flipped over. Yes, he was definitely far too cute for her own good. Mike had been cute too and he had turned out to be an asshole.

"I'm afraid then that you have me at a disadvantage," she said politely, "because I don't know yours, sorry."

He chuckled a little.

"I wouldn't expect you to." He smiled again and some butterflies burst to life in her stomach and fluttered around. He reached out a hand and she shifted her tray to the other to take his. It was soft and warm but strong and it dent shivers up her arm. "Damien." He said softly.

"Nudge." She said back dumbly, her thoughts addled.

His brow furrowed in confusion.

"What?"

She gasped. She had just told him her real name! She didn't even know the guy, he could be an eraser for all she knew and she had just told him her real name. He'd be the cutest eraser she'd ever seen though… crap.

"It's a nickname." She said quickly to cover her blunder, blushing profusely.

"Oh, ok then." Damien smiled and her body reacted.

DANGER DANGER her head screamed.

Just one more minute, her heart hollered back.

"I just," she noticed him blush a little, "came to apologise and see if you were ok. You looked quite upset on your own so I walked over to see if you needed some company and then you stood up so fast-" He trailed off, watching her.

"I…uh…" Nudge was lost for words. Good lord if Max could see her now. Max… A pang of pain shot through her. Suddenly she knew that she should leave. She shouldn't trust this boy. Max wouldn't have endangered the flock like this and neither would she. "Thank you, but I'm fine. I don't need anything. I have to go." She turned on her heel and congratulated herself on sticking to her principles. Trust no one. Especially not boys.

"Oh, ok, well then… I suppose I'll see you around." She heard from behind her and her heart contracted. She could have used the company, but at least the flock was safe.

* * *

Nudge sat in her room and tried to figure out what she was going to do about Damien. She hadn't been able to stop thinking about him since lunch. She had spent the entire drive back from school thinking about his gorgeous eyes, and her dinnertime sighing over his spine tingling touch and now she was sitting on her bed trying desperately not to fantasise over his life shattering smile.

She couldn't help it. He was amazing. He was gorgeous. He was seemingly perfect.

Far too perfect. Just the sort of guy who could get her into trouble.

Not to mention how guilty she felt about how quickly she had found herself a boy after Max' death.

She caught herself thinking about how wonderful it would be to kiss him and groaning she stuffed her pillow into her face.

* * *

Nudge stepped out of Max's soccer mom van and took a deep breath. Here comes another full day of torture, she thought. She blocked out all thoughts and crossed the front lawn as quickly as she could, her head down and her eyes lowered. Gazzy was already long gone, a blur whooshing past her on his way into the building and Angel was still at home, once again, she was alone, abandoned. Fang stood behind her, leaning against the car and waving goodbye, knowing that neither of the kids were watching him. He sighed and climbed back into the car, her car. He leaned his head on the steering wheel took a few deep breaths and then pulled out of the parking lot.

Nudge climbed the steps and looked back to see the back of the car as it drove away, leaving her behind. She took some more deep breaths to steady herself and then pushed herself into the building. A few more steps and it didn't hurt so much. A few more steps and no one was looking at her any more. A few more steps and she had finally reached her locker.

Sanctuary.

She unloaded her bag and then leaned her head inside her locker. It was an old game. If I can't see you, you can't see me. She blocked out the bustling world around her and just focused on her own breathing.

In, out.

In, out.

In, out.

"Am I missing something?" An already too familiar voice rang in her ears and she jumped in shock, hitting her head off of the side of her locker.

"What? What- no!" She stumbled over her words, trying to achieve even a slight semblance of coherence. She blushed furiously at being caught hiding and gathering up her books, she turned to go without so much as glancing at Damien.

"Hey," he pulled in front of her, "do I smell or something? Because every time I get even the slightest bit close to you, you run off as if I've got the plague or something." Although his tone was light and teasing, his brow was furrowed in hurt confusion.

She stared at him, once again speechless. He watched her for a second and then he shrugged. "Ok, I get it," he shook his head slightly, with a self-depreciating smile, "I'm a nobody. I've crossed some invisible line and now you're ignoring me just like you used to. Got it." Nudge opened her mouth to protest, but he threw up a hand to silence her. "No forget about it. Just as long as I know where I stand right?" He smiled cynically and she snapped out of her Damien-induced coma.

Turning away he shook his head in amazement and for a moment she let him go. Good, she thought, let him go, this solves the problem. Then she looked at the people around her. None of them were her friends and none of them wanted to be. She needed a friend. Something inside of her, some deep part of her took over.

"Damien!" She heard herself cry out. Then she watched herself run after him. Then she watched him turn just in time for her to feel herself crash into him.

"Hmmm we seem to just keep banging into each other don't we?" He said rising his eyebrow fluidly. Nudge felt her entire body reacting to his proximity. MAYDAY MAYDAY, constructive sentences going down, down, down, down and they're gone!

"Uhhh-" Nudge managed to choke out. Damien sighed and shrugged his shoulders in frustration.

"Whatever." He said resignedly and started to turn away.

"Damien wait!" Nudge grabbed his hand and instantly dropped it when electricity shot up her arm.

"Who me?" He asked, mimicking her performance the day before.

"Sorry." She mumbled.

They just stared at each other awkwardly for a moment.

"Look I need a friend and since you're the only half-decent person I've met so far in this whole place-"

"Ah… I'm not half-decent… I'm whole decent" He grinned.

Nudge laughed and corrected herself, "Ok, whole decent person."

He smiled at her and she couldn't help but smile back.

"So are we friends now or what?" She asked quietly.

"I should think so." He grinned. "Don't you? However," he paused dramatically "be forewarned! I am not exactly the most popular kid in school." He winked and stuck out his hand. "Shake on it?"

She grasped his hand and nodded, trying to tamp down her body's natural reaction to the contact. He is way too cute for my own good, she thought, but then she shrugged it off and just basked in the warm glow of a real friendship. Finally.

They started to walk back to her locker and he glanced at her sideways.

"By the way," he asked softly, "is it Tiffany or Nudge?"

She blushed at the reminder of her indiscretion. She grimaced and tried to think of a way out of this without actually lying to him because somehow it just felt wrong to her.

"Tiffany in school please." She whispered, "It's complicated. Just, it's really important that you don't tell anyone ok? I could get into a lot of trouble otherwise."

"Geez, what are you an escaped convict or something?" He laughed.

She froze. The word escape flung her back to the many close calls with lifetime imprisonment by ITEX. She shivered. Close calls Max had saved them from. She watched Damien's face change as he realised that she wasn't laughing.

"You're not are you?" He asked nervously.

"Just…" She stopped and bit her lip. "Listen, sometimes there are going to be things that I won't be able to explain to you about who I am, where I've come from, where I grew up and … what I can do. A lot of things… but you're just going to have to trust me, because I don't want to have to lie to you ok? I just… my family and I… we have a real issue… trusting people, and we have pretty good reasons not to. So it's not that I don't trust you… it's that I shouldn't. Does that make sense to you?" He nodded slowly. "So can you just give me a while? Eventually maybe I can fill you in, but …right now… I can't."

She stared at her shoes. She wondered how long it was going to take him to walk away, now that he thought she was a freak. Correction, knew she was a freak.

"Wow." He said softly.

"Yeah."

"So do you give that speech to every new friend or am I special?" He grinned.

She laughed and nudged him in the side.

"Damien I have never given that speech before. On the other hand I've also never had a real friend before… not really. So, I suppose that you're special in more than one way."

"Damn right I am!" He laughed. The bell rang signalling the end of classes.

"Well, I suppose I'll see you later then." Nudge said, the disappointment in her voice surprising her. Damien's eyebrows flew up into his shaggy blonde hair and he shook his head again.

"Wow, you really aren't too observant are you?" He remarked, smirking good-naturedly. Nudge bristled.

"I am too." She snapped.

"Obviously not."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm in almost all of your classes, including double Chemistry which we have right now."

Nudge stared at him, once again speechless. If my family could see me now, she thought. The Nudge Channel seemed to have no frequency around Damien. Eventually she managed to squeeze out a small, breathless, "oh". Damien grinned, pulled her chemistry books out of her locker and shoved them into her arms.

"Let's go." He said cheerfully and putting his hand on her back he effortlessly steered her in the general direction of class.

* * *

Two weeks later, Nudge decided that she trusted Damien enough to bring him home. Iggy was going to be home that night so at least there would be a good meal available. Most nights the flock survived on takeaway and microwave meals now that Iggy had moved out. She could smell the spaghetti bolognese Iggy was preparing from the front door and threw Damien a smile over her shoulder.

"This is where I live." She said, trying not to be embarrassed by the overpowering size of her home.

"You… live here?" He stammered, his eyes scooting around the room as if he were having trouble taking it all in. And this is just the hallway, she thought, this was a mistake. "Wow." He let out a whistle and then turned to face her. "So, can I meet the cook?"

"Smells that good doesn't it?" She laughed, relaxing.

"It sure does." She heard from the kitchen. Alice, she thought, thank god for Alice. Iggy hadn't dealt well with Max's death during the return flight to Florida. Disappearing, not wanting to continue and generally just being depressed, the flock had watched unable to help him as he fell apart. The moment he'd touched ground and had Alice's arms around him it was as if he'd been cured. He was still sad about losing Max, they all were, but at least now he had an outlet for his happiness as well. Alice stood at the kitchen door and smiled warmly at the two new arrivals.

"Derek, are you preparing for seven?" She called to the tall blonde man behind her.

"Seven?" He spluttered. "Who's number seven?"

"Nudge brought home a friend sweetheart."

"Of course she did, and no one thought to tell the cook?"

Nudge bit her lip and was about to apologise when she saw Alice wink at her.

"No sweetie we decided it would be funnier to show you up in front of everyone." She teased.

"Well I'm glad that we've all decided to go behind the blind guy's back and laugh at him. Ha ha ha. There, enough giggles for you all?"

"Oh absolutely not dear." Alice faked a posh British accent. "One can never have too many giggles."

"Hmph, I disagree, I find around you that giggles seem to be the one thing we have an inordinate amount of and by the way-" He spun around and caught hold of Alice who had been sneaking up on him and planted a kiss right on her lips. "Stop sneaking up on me." He laughed and turned back to the oven.

Alice shrugged and threw a look at Nudge and Damien.

"Someday it'll work." She sighed good-naturedly. "Dinner will be ready in about half an hour ok?"

"Sure." Nudge nodded leaving the two lovebirds to their cooking.

"So that's your brother Derek?" Damien asked.

"Yeah." Nudge said as she led him out to the garden.

"And Alice?"

"She's his… girlfriend? Partner? I don't really know what they call each other. They're happy so what does it really matter." She smiled. She jumped up onto the trampoline and he climbed up beside her. They lay down, staring up at the sky and started to quiz each other on the basics.

"Ok so what's your favourite colour?" Damien asked her.

"Pink, yours?"

"Orange. Favourite drink?"

"Hmm root beer, you?"

"Definitely cola."

"Ok, my turn to pick a question, favourite food?"

"Mmm, I like Hawaiian pizza, what about you?"

"Pizza or food?"

"Both." He laughed.

"OK, I like chicken on my pizza and my favourite food is cannelloni with ricotta and spinach. Ok , hard one," She smiled, "favourite band?"

"That's not hard, Snow Patrol. What's yours?"

"Katy Perry."

"That's not a band." He grinned. "Ok, wait for it, real hard one… happiest memory."

"Oh." Nudge thought about it, it was the week after they'd escaped with Jeb, the day she'd first learned to fly. "Sorry," she grimaced, "I have to pass."

"Oh really?" He frowned. "It's not like… weird or anything is it?"

She cringed. "I suppose that would depend on what you qualify as weird. I can tell you my second happiest memory though."

"Alright." He smiled.

"Just before Christmas this year we went back to our old home, with Max, before… she was just so happy and that made _me_ happy."

"Wow. Deep." They lay there for a few minutes staring up at the darkening sky.

"What about you?" She asked eventually.

"My happiest memory?"

She nodded.

"Umm… Ok but this is kind of embarrassing."

Nudge poked him. "C'mon… I told you mine."

"Ok, ok, it was the day my little sister said her first word and it was _my_ name. She just looked straight at me and said it, just like that, Damien." He grinned. "My parents were so jealous."

Nudge looked at him. "That's not embarrassing, that's adorable." She said softly.

"Great, adorable, even better." He laughed.

"Aw, come on, I think it's sweet."

"Oh yeah? Well then let's hear _your_ most embarrassing moment."

"Uh pass." She laughed.

"Aw come on… I'll never tell anyone… I'll take it to my grave, pinky promise." He grinned holding out his pinky finger, but Nudge was frozen and staring at him.

"Oh, Jesus I'm sorry Nudge." He stammered. "I didn't mean… I forgot about Max. I-"

Nudge's mind was racing, hitting the same wall every time. _Take it to my grave, take it to my grave, take it to my grave. _He had no idea how soon she'd be taking that six-foot under trip. In three years time she'd be taking everything to her grave, leaving this world behind forever. Damien deserved a friend who would live past her eighteenth birthday. It was cruel to keep him back here with her. She needed to send him on his way now, to save him from the pain.

"You should go." She said stiffly.

"What?" He stared at her "Listen Nudge I'm sorry, I know it was recent but it was just a slip of the tongue, I didn't mean-"

"No, you should go." She repeated and she pushed herself up off the trampoline, her fists clenched at her sides. It would be better to cut it off now and make a clean break, better for everyone, she thought.

"Wait Nudge." He jumped off the trampoline and sprinted after her. "You're not serious are you? Please don't be like this. It was a mistake."

Nudge just kept walking and wishing he would just go away. He was making it so much harder. She liked him, she really did, too much.

"Nudge come on, please?" He grabbed her arm. "Where are you even going?"

"Somewhere else." She growled through clenched teeth.

"No, what's going on?" He tried to pull her around to face him but she brushed him off as if he weighed nothing. "This isn't about what I said is it? Did I miss something?"

"I just realised what a bad idea this was." She snapped over her shoulder. "Go home, stay safe and pretend you never met me."

"No, look, I can't just do that!" He yelled after her. "We're friends. We shook on it! I'm in all of your classes so what are you going to do just ignore me? Pretend I don't exist?"

"No." Nudge sighed and she realised what she had to do now. "I'm not going back to school. It's time for me to go somewhere else." She took one last look at Damien standing in the garden, his shoulders dropped, his face set in a mask of hurt and confusion and his eyes pleading with her not to close the door, so she slammed the back door in his face and turned away with tears in her eyes.

* * *

"So that's it, you're just going?"

"Yep, that would be about right." Nudge packed one last shirt into her small backpack and turned to Fang. He was leaning against her bedroom wall, his hollow, empty eyes staring back at her and she was reminded that he was no longer really Fang. In reality, he was just an empty shell of the person he had once been.

"Are you coming back before I'm gone?"

"I plan to be."

"Just remember that you have to be back before Ig." He said emotionlessly. "They'll need you then."

She nodded and stood willing herself not to cry.

"I'll be back to say goodbye Fang. I just can't… I can't stay here… not like this." She said sadly. "We're all half people… it's just not… it's not really living. I'll be back, at least… I'll try to be. Will you still be here?"

"Can't think of anywhere else we'd be."

"I'll have my phone with me… just in case."

He nodded and she slung her backpack onto her shoulders and stretched her wings.

"I'm not entirely comfortable with you going out on your own." Fang said gently. "But I won't stop you if this is what you need to do."

"Thank you." She said feeling a pit of emotion in her stomach that at least he cared, that even in this state, he cared.

"Nudge-I" He paused and then looked her straight in the eye. "In case you don't come back. In case this is the last time I see you. Thank you, for keeping me sane all those years ago, for years of laughter, for being you. You were always my favourite. I just wanted you to know that. I'm going to miss you." He smiled sadly and nodded. "It's been an honour and a pleasure to fly with you."

Nudge felt the tears brim over as Fang walked over and pulled her into a tight hug.

"I'll come back." She choked out through her tears. "That's a promise."

He let her go and she stepped to the door. She turned to him at the last second.

"Can you tell them goodbye for me?" She asked sadly. "I'm bad at goodbyes… there's always too much I want to say."

He nodded and she turned, running out the door and taking off into the dark night sky.

* * *

**Ok, longest chapter I have ever written. This has taking me over a week to finish just first draft and another three days to edit! I hope you liked it. I just had to give Nudge her story. I wrote this in rough draft on paper a few months ago and then put it to the side, but Nudge just wouldn't let it go and Damien was just hanging around the inside of my head every time I sat down to write. So here they are in all of their glory. Let me know what you think and I KNOW that my updates are few and far between and I AM trying. I will not give up anytime soon! Let me know what you think! Cat**

**ps this is my longest chapter yet and if there are typos (which i'm sure there are) please let me know so that i can correct them!**


	65. Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This

_My Waking Nightmare_

_Chapter 65_

_Sweet Dreams Are Made of This_

"I love you." She whispered and I felt her arms around me, her lips on mine, her hair whipping my cheeks as we stood on the beach, holding each other close and then she stepped back. She pulled away from me and tears fell on the sand between us. I tried to reach for her, but she started to disappear and then she was screaming and crying and begging me to save her. I tried to pull her back to me as she melted away, her face contorted in screams of agony. And then she was gone and I was lying in a dark room in Naples, Florida, drenched in sweat and tears.

It was how I spent every night. How I woke up every morning. I pulled myself out of bed. As of today, I had 39 days left.

Life without Max had taken an obvious turn for the worse for all of us. Going through the motions, we spent each day preparing for our last. I cared for them the best I could. I tried to give them the time they needed to grieve. There was never enough time. There was always too much time. There was nothing to do. There was everything to do. Most days I simply lay on her bed, breathing in the smell of her. It was almost gone now, but I could still smell it in my dreams.

After Nudge left the house seemed empty. God knew where she'd gone, but she was gone. Like Max was gone. Soon I'd be gone and the house would be emptier still.

Angel was quiet. Always quiet. So very, very quiet. The kind of quietness you could feel pressing down on you. Not that many of us were talkative. Not here. Iggy and Alice were happy. In their own way. Far away from us, they were secluded in their personal bliss. Across town was just far enough to escape the gloom of this former home. Just a house now. Home is where the heart is.

* * *

The group had recuperated from their ambush in Florida. After three solid weeks of searching they had finally found another possible location of Max's family. Wary, after last time's unnerving turn of events, they decided to travel at night when their vision would be at its most powerful.

Sitting together as a group, they prepared for their last attempt at finding Max's flock. If this failed, they would be forced to contemplate a suicide mission into Death Valley to rescue Lily. It wasn't a pretty thought.

Alex was determined to find something today that could lead him to Lily's freedom but hopes amongst the others were not high. Clarissa knew that everything in her life hinged on this night. Alex's mind was slowly unraveling, a direct side effect of the guilt eating away at his insides for pushing Lily away. He was a ticking time bomb and if circumstances didn't change soon then both she and the twins knew that his mental health would suffer an emotional implosion it may never fully recover from. As he withdrew more and more into himself, so did the moral of the team, to the point where the twins were slowly becoming convinced that Lily, if she _were_ still alive, could not last much longer. Failure or success tonight would drastically affect all of their futures.

Taking each other's hands they closed their eyes and imagined the house in the mountains.

* * *

Nudge curled up in the old, rotting armchair by the fireplace and pulled her laptop out of her bag. Firing it up, she started surfing the web looking for sites of interest and flicking through online interior design catalogues. Life was pretty mundane for her now that she had left what remained of the flock… and Darren. Shaking her head she returned to the dark green, retro-style couch on the screen, trying once again to distract her own attention. The old house creaked around her, shaken by the gusts of wind that ran through the valley at dusk. The house had been empty for so long that only some of the rooms were still habitable, but she'd been getting along fine for the last few days. The kitchen had been empty when she arrived but after a quick shopping trip she'd managed to stock up enough food for the last month and with only a week or two left before Fang's expiration date she was pretty sure she'd survive on what she still had. She'd been sleeping in Gazzy and Iggy's room, the one that had been best preserved since they'd had time to pack away their stuff and close things up before they left. Today she'd finally rejigged the wireless internet to provide her with a perfect signal for free. A trick that was, of course, technically illegal, but in such a remote area, no one was going to come checking up on her. She'd needed something to pass the time and internet surfing, reading online and catching up on news and tv shows was all she could do not to go mad with loneliness. She knew she'd done the right thing for Darren and herself by leaving, but she couldn't help but wish that things could have worked out differently. Shifting her gaze across the room she looked out the window into the darkening landscape of the sky and wondered what it was like to die.

There was a flash of lightning, a booming roll of thunder and in the silence that directly followed it, there was an almost inaudible creak of an old floorboard. Nudge tensed and listened carefully. Silence. Perhaps if she hadn't been running from enemies nearly her entire life she would have shrugged it off, but given the circumstances, she stood up quickly, strained her ears and crept to the doorway of the living room. In the hall the lights were off and she had to be careful since a lot of the floorboards had rotted and weren't just noisy but could easily collapse under even her ridiculously light avian hybrid weight. Still hearing nothing but the crackle of the fire, she stopped to see if she could locate anyone else in the house, when out of nowhere a loud creak sounded from her left. Whipping her torch from her pocket and shining it directly at the source of the sound, she leapt back in surprise and nearly went through the wall of Max's old room. Standing in front of her were 4 teens, their skin translucent and their eyes nothing but large dark pupils. As she stared at them, their hair snaked and snapped at the air, almost as if it were anxious, apprehensive, even afraid. They watched her cautiously as she took them in and then when she started to breath again, the red headed boy cleared his throat.

"Do you know Maximum Ride?" He asked. Nudge nodded, her mind racing. "Can you take us to her?" He added.

"I can take you to her grave." She choked. "She's dead." The older two glanced at the others, the two smaller creatures shook their heads firmly.

"That," they announced dramatically, "is where you are wrong."

* * *

**Ok, so it's been a while. I apologise I really do, but this story is not coming to me as naturally as it used to and I have to put in a lot of effort to get it down on paper. I'm incredibly busy in college, despite seeming like I have no work to do!**


	66. Maybe

_My Waking Nightmare_

_Chapter 65_

_Maybe_

Nudge took a step towards the little group in front of her. "What did you say?"

"Maximum Ride is still alive." The red head explained.

"You're sick!" Nudge hurled at them in confusion. "I saw her funeral! I saw her dead body in-" She shuddered at the memories that that threatened to overwhelm her.

"You saw exactly what they wanted you to see." The boy said quietly.

"They?"

"ITEX." He announced solemnly

"Now I _know_ you're just screwing with me!" She yelled. "ITEX are gone, destroyed, I was there, I took part!"

"Again, you are only looking at what they _want_ you to see." The two youngest of the group tilted their heads ponderously to the side as they spoke to her in unison. "Open your eyes. Listen to what we are saying. You say you have seen the destruction of ITEX? Well _we_ have seen its rebirth! You tell us you have witnessed the death of your leader? Well _we_ have witnessed her awakening!"

"When? How? How the heck _are_ you people?"

"We, like you and so many others, are leftover experiments of the ITEX Corporation. Thankfully, we escaped amidst your destruction of the company and the chaos you incited. We were the last experiments that they had the opportunity to create. For this, we owe you and your 'Flock' a deep debt of gratitude, the gravity of which has only recently become clear to us." The two paused. "In this venture, however, our relationship is a symbiotic one. Our creators have also captured our leader. The two are being held in Death Valley, where you yourselves were held captive for so many years."

"How do you know so much about us?" Nudge gasped, stunned by this sudden onslaught of incomprehensible information. The last member of the group smiled somewhat kindly and took a breath that said she wasn't happy that she would have to relay this information. Her skin was moving in a bizarrely intricate dance that caused Nudge to suck a sharp breath in and take a speedy step back.

" I apologise. I'm aware our appearance must be…" she looked as if she were casting about for the right phrase, "daunting. Especially so suddenly, with so much unwelcome and disturbing information, but please believe me that time is of the essence in this case and that we do not make a habit of this. We know so much about you simply because we read your files. Believe me, they were _quite_ extensive." She bit her lip and twisted her mouth into an apologetic and embarrassed half smile. "We honestly don't usually pry into other peoples lives, but as I said, we were running short on time."

"Files? From where?"

"ITEX." Nudge turned to the youngest again, more than a little unnerved by their ability to speak as one. "They have a database, a huge file storage unit of sorts in North Dakota. We have already travelled there to amass as much information as possible before seeking you out a second time."

"A second time?" She shook her head, "How long have you been looking for us?"

"Over 3 months." The red head replied grimly. "You are a particularly difficult group of individuals to find. We did attempt a meeting in Florida, but somehow they already knew to expect us."

"At the house?" Nudge asked frantically, her mind already began to race as she thought of her family already captured. "If they know where the house is then they could be surrounding my family right now!"

"Please try to calm down. They have known about the house since you first moved in. ITEX have been keeping tabs on you ever since they reappeared three and a half years ago. They've been biding their time until they were ready. I think you'll find that if ITEX wanted you dead… you already would be."

"Well then what can we do?"

"What we must."

Nudge closed her eyes and leaned against the wall. "Ok." She said. "Where do we start?"

* * *

I was rummaging through some of Max's old things when I found them. It had been a long day, cleaning out the house, getting food on the table, trying to keep up a nice smile for the kids… I was wrecked and the last thing I had wanted to do was upset myself. Yet, after all of the time I'd spent in this house since she'd died, I suddenly was drawn to the desk on the top floor. Covered in papers and locked drawers, Angel and Gazzy had told me it belonged to Max. The music room seemed an odd place to keep bills and other important documents, so I figured it must have been what Max had called her 'writing'. Angel hadn't been able to tell me what Max had written about, she had always allowed her that small token of privacy, unable to intrude on her innermost thoughts. For a long time, I too had thought it best to leave Max's work alone, that she wouldn't have wanted anyone pawing through her feelings and reading their way into her mind. But today, something had pulled me up those stairs, forcing me to recognise that I hadn't left those papers alone out of respect for Max, but out of my own fear of what they would contain. So, I had sat down and started systematically reading through every sheet in the desk. It was dark by the time I found the songs and poems she had written, but my heart clenched as the lyrics washed over me in her still achingly familiar handwriting.

_Yesterday I lost my closest friend__  
__Yesterday I wanted time to end__  
__I wonder if my heart will ever mend__  
__I just let you slip away_

_4 AM forever_

_Maybe I'll never see you smile again__  
__Maybe you thought that it was all pretend;__  
__All these words that I could never say__  
__I just let them slip away_

_4 AM forever_

_Why don't you hear me when I'm calling out to you (to you)__  
__Why don't you listen when I try to make it through (to you)__  
__Goodbye, goodbye__  
__Goodbye, you never know__  
__Hold a little tighter_

_4 AM forever_

_Maybe one day when I can move along__  
__Maybe someday when you can hear this song__  
__You won't let it slip away_

_4 AM forever_

_And I'd wish the sun would never come__  
__It's 4 AM and you are gone__  
__I hope you know you're letting go__  
__It's 4 AM and I'm alone_

_Why don't you hear me when I'm calling out to you (to you)__  
__Why don't you listen when I try to make it through (to you)__  
__Goodbye, goodbye__  
__Goodbye, you never know__  
__Hold a little tighter_

_Why don't you hear me when I'm calling out to you (to you)__  
__Why don't you listen when I try to make it through (to you)__  
__Goodbye, goodbye__  
__Goodbye, you never know__  
__Hold a little tighter_

_4 AM forever...__  
_

The sheet of paper fell from my hands and I forced myself to pick up another.

_It's like you're a drug__  
__It's like you're a demon I can't face down__  
__It's like I'm stuck__  
__It's like I'm running from you all the time__  
__And I know I let you have all the power__  
__It's like the only company I seek is misery all around__  
__It's like you're a leech__  
__Sucking the life from me__  
__It's like I can't breathe__  
__Without you inside of me__  
__And I know I let you have all the power__  
__And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time_

_It's like I can't breathe__  
__It's like I can't see anything__  
__Nothing but you__  
__I'm addicted to you__  
__It's like I can't think__  
__Without you interrupting me__  
__In my thoughts__  
__In my dreams__  
__You've taken over me__  
__It's like I'm not me__  
__It's like I'm not me_

_It's like I'm lost__  
__It's like I'm giving up slowly__  
__It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me__  
__Leave me alone__  
__And I know these voices in my head__  
__Are mine alone__  
__And I know I'll never change my ways__  
__If I don't give you up now_

_It's like I can't breathe__  
__It's like I can't see anything__  
__Nothing but you__  
__I'm addicted to you__  
__It's like I can't think__  
__Without you interrupting me__  
__In my thoughts__  
__In my dreams__  
__You've taken over me__  
__It's like I'm not me__  
__It's like I'm not me_

_I'm hooked on you__  
__I need a fix__  
__I can't take it__  
__Just one more hit__  
__I promise I can deal with it__  
__I'll handle it, quit it__  
__Just one more time__  
__Then that's it__  
__Just a little bit more to get me through this__  
__I'm hooked on you__  
__I need a fix__  
__I can't take it__  
__Just one more hit__  
__I promise I can deal with it__  
__I'll handle it, quit it__  
__Just one more time__  
__Then that's it__  
__Just a little bit more to get me through this_

_It's like I can't breathe__  
__It's like I can't see anything__  
__Nothing but you__  
__I'm addicted to you__  
__It's like I can't think__  
__Without you interrupting me__  
__In my thoughts__  
__In my dreams__  
__You've taken over me__  
__It's like I'm not me__  
__It's like I'm not me_

And another…

_Louder, louder__  
__The voices in my head__  
__Whispers taunting__  
__All the things you said__  
__Faster the days go by and I'm still__  
__Stuck in this moment of wanting you here__  
__Time__  
__In the blink of an eye__  
__You held my hand, you held me tight__  
__Now you're gone__  
__And I'm still crying__  
__Shocked, broken__  
__I'm dying inside_

_Where are you?__  
__I need you__  
__Don't leave me here on my own__  
__Speak to me__  
__Be near me__  
__I can't survive unless I know you're with me_

_Shadows linger__  
__Only to my eye__  
__I see you, I feel you__  
__Don't leave my side__  
__It's not fair__  
__Just when I found my world__  
__They took you, they broke you, they tore out your heart_

_I miss you, you hurt me__  
__You left with a smile__  
__Mistaken, your sadness__  
__Was hiding inside__  
__Now all that's left__  
__Are the pieces to find__  
__The mystery you kept__  
__The soul behind a guise_

_Where are you__  
__I need you__  
__Don't leave me here on my own__  
__Speak to me__  
__Be near me__  
__I can't survive unless I know you're with me_

_Why did you go?__  
__All these questions run through my mind__  
__I wish I couldn't feel at all__  
__Let me be numb__  
__I'm starting to fall_

_Where are you?__  
__I need you__  
__Don't leave me here on my own__  
__Speak to me__  
__Be near me__  
__I can't survive unless I know you're with me_

_Where are you?__  
__Where are you?_

_You were smiling__  
_

And another….

_The only one who took you in__  
__The only one who held your hand__  
__Defended you against the others__  
__Had your back on everything__  
__Never let you down__  
__You turned around betrayed your only brother_

_Forgetting me, you took things in your hands and left me out__  
__After we'd been through so much, how could you let me down?_

_I didn't know, I didn't know__  
__I couldn't see, I couldn't see__  
__Never thought you'd forget meCouldn't believe, couldn't believe__  
__How you deceived, you deceived__  
__I never thought you'd do that to me_

_I will never be like you__  
__I'll never do the things you do __  
__Selfish and lonely, what's your problem__  
__Letting go of you and this__  
__Is harder than I thought but I will not be poisoned by your actions_

_Forgetting me, you took things in your hands and left me out__  
__After we'd been through so much, how could you let me down?_

_I didn't know, I didn't know__  
__I couldn't see, I couldn't see__  
__Never thought you'd forget me__  
__Couldn't believe, couldn't believe__  
__How you deceived, you deceived__  
__I never thought you'd do that to me _

_Forgetting me, you took things in your hands and left me out__  
__After we'd been through so much, how could you let me down?__  
__Down, you let me down__  
_

And another…

_I thought that I could always count on you,__  
__I thought that nothing could come between us two.__  
__We said as long as we would stick together,__  
__We'd be alright,__  
__We'd be ok._

_But I was stupid __  
__And you broke me down__  
__I'll never be the same again._

_So thank you for showing me,__  
__That best friends can not be trusted,__  
__And thank you for lying to me,__  
__Your friendship, the good times we had you can have them back_

_Yeah!_

_I wonder why it always has to hurt,__  
__For every lesson that you have to learn.__  
__I won't forget what you did to me,__  
__How you showed me things I wish I'd never seen._

_But I was stupid, __  
__And you broke me down,__  
__I'll never be the same again._

_So thank you for showing me,__  
__That best friends can not be trusted,__  
__And thank you for lying to me,__  
__Your friendship the good times we had you can have them back_

_When the tables turn again,__  
__You'll remember me my friend,__  
__You'll be wishing I was there for you._

_I'll be the one you miss the most,__  
__But you'll only find my ghost.__  
__As time goes by,__  
__You'll wonder why, __  
__You're all alone._

_So thank you for showing me,__  
__That best friends can not be trusted,__  
__And thank you for lying to me,__  
__Your friendship, the good times we had you can have them back._

_So thank you - for lying to me,__  
__So thank you - for all the times you let me down__  
__So thank you - for lying to me,__  
__So thank you - your friendship you can have it back__  
_

And as my heart began to feel it could take no more I saw a sheet where the words were written neatly, the corners bent and the sheet a little crumpled as if it had been read over and over again…

_I'm strong__  
__But I break__  
__I'm stubborn__  
__And I make plenty of mistakes__  
__Yeah I'm hard__  
__And life with me is never easy__  
__To figure out, to love __  
__I'm jaded but oh so lovely__  
__All you have to do is hold me__  
__And you'll know and you'll see just how sweet it can be __  
__If you'll trust me, love me, let me__  
__Maybe, maybe_

_Someday __  
__When we're at the same place__  
__When we're on the same road__  
__When it's okay to hold my hand__  
__Without feeling lost__  
__Without all the excuses__  
__When it's just because you love me, you let me, you need me__  
__Then maybe, maybe__  
__All you have to do is hold me__  
__And you'll know and you'll see just how sweet it can be __  
__If you'll trust me, love me, let me__  
__Maybe, maybe_

_I'm confusing as hell__  
__I'm north and south__  
__And I'll probably never have it all figured out__  
__But what I know is I wasn't meant to walk this world without you__  
__And I promise I'll try__  
__Yeah I'm gonna try to give you every little part of me__  
__Every single detail you missed with your eyes__  
__Then maybe__  
__Maybe, yeah maybe, maybe,maybe, yeah maybe_

_One day__  
__We'll meet again and you'll need me, you'll see me completely__  
__Every little bit__  
__Oh yeah maybe you'll love me, you'll love me then_

_I don't want to be tough__  
__And I don't want to be proud__  
__I don't need to be fixed and I certainly don't need to be found__  
__I'm not lost __  
__I need to be loved__  
__I just need to be loved__  
__I just want to be loved by you and I won't stop 'cause I believe__  
__That maybe, yeah maybe__  
__Maybe, yeah maybe, maybe,maybe, yeah maybe_

_I should know better than to touch the fire twice__  
__But I'm thinking maybe, yeah maybe you might_

_Maybe, love maybe_

Maybe…

We did meet again. And for a short time, we were happy. She missed me as much as I missed her. But what she told me was true, she did forgive me. Maybe now, I could start to forgive myself.

* * *

**Ok, I am so very sorry it has been so long, but life keeps getting in the way and I have endless amounts of essays to do, which is no excuse I know, but it's all I've got. Life has been hectic, but we're coming into the end of this story and I will not leave you hanging. If it takes a year I will finish this story I promise.**

**This was a long one because I used lyrics from some of my favourite songs to give Max a voice. So Nudge finally knows the big secret, but none of you know what's going to happen next! Stay tuned!**

**Thanks for sticking with me! Cat**


	67. Ambulances, Voices and Shadow Walkers

**Alright, you and I both know that I have some serious apologising to do. Has it really been over a year? I can hardly believe that there was a time when I would post more than one chapter a day. **

**Over the last year and a half my life has changed considerably. College has been a lot more work than I ever really thought it would be, but I have to admit, that it wasn't what stopped me from writing this. To be honest, I don't really know why I pulled away from this story. I guess I was just worn out. I'd been working on it for two or three years and I didn't have the energy or the passion to put into it anymore. However, I always promised that I would finish this story no matter what. **

**Over the last year I've had many e-mails and reviews asking me to continue this story. I read all of them and every single one made me feel guiltier than the last, but I wasn't ready to go back yet. Today, I sat down at my computer and I felt absolutely compelled to finish this story. Max and her flock have been left hanging for too long and I must admit, they have a certain hold on my imagination that I can neither understand nor break away from. **

**And so, without further ado, I present you with the newest chapter of **_**My Waking Nightmare**_** and I hope fervently both that it will help you all to forgive me for temporarily abandoning this story and that it will not disappoint your shockingly high expectations of me. **

**I owe you all a great deal of gratitude for continuing to push me to finish this story. Thank you and enjoy.**

_My Waking Nightmare_

_Chapter 67_

_Ambulance, Voices and Shadow Walkers_

It was dark that night. The cool breeze that blew overhead was tantalizing but the two stayed low to the ground, flying in a comforting unison. It had been a long time since either of them had taken to the air and their wings were silently protesting. Gazzy enjoyed the silence around them and Angel took comfort in being able to hear no one's thoughts but their own. They were both relaxed in a way they had not been for months, possibly even years. If there was a certain melancholy bent to their thoughts than it was only that Max would have loved a night like this.

Beginning to whirl and dive, Gazzy challenged Angel to a short race and the two shot into the sky in a flurry of limbs and feathers, their streamlined flight punctuated only by the cry of a short-tailed hawk diving for prey. Giggling almost as one, the siblings landed almost simultaneously in a nearby tree, Gazzy grabbing a thick branch and spinning around it like an Olympic gymnast. Angel sank down along the trunk of the tree and swung her legs on either side of the branch she was balanced on. Still giggling she tucked her wings in and threw her arms behind her head resting against them with a sigh of contentment. Life was short they had discovered, or at least their lives would be, so they had vowed to enjoy them to their fullest.

After years of living in a strange sort of stasis, half waiting for Fang to come home, half trying to forget about him entirely, they were finally going to live their own lives. For Angel, it was a relief to finally let down her guard and free her mind to wander over the suburbs of Naples, Florida. Most people lay in bed sleeping, their dreams whizzing past in streams of bright colour and sound. To the dreamer, they consisted of a comprehensible stream of thought, but to Angel they were a blur of emotions and feelings that not even she could keep up with. Only the dreams of the Flock made sense to her and even then they were often too fast or complex to follow.

She could feel people watching late night television and others tossing and turning in bed trying to stop their minds from whirring. There were people arguing and screaming and one man lying in the back of an ambulance careering at full speed towards the nearest hospital. Further afield there were children waking up from nightmares and teens and college students finishing off yet another can. One mind rose above the rest as she felt a woman dancing in her bedroom in her pyjamas because that guy she had liked for years had finally called to ask her out. Angel grinned and spread that happy, warm, loved feeling to the other citizens of Naples and felt them all relax slightly. The injured man in the ambulance began to hope that everything was going to be all right and Angel felt the paramedics' belief that the man in the back would take some time to get patched up but that he would eventually recover. She pulled back from the minds of Naples and returned to her own. Her powers had moved on in leaps and bounds if she could now spread feelings across whole towns. Taking a deep breath, she relaxed against the tree and daydreamed about spreading world peace.

'ANGEL?' Nudge's voice exploded in her head and Angel dropped out of the tree.

"Angel!" Gazzy was on red alert immediately and leapt down to the ground beside her.

"Nudge, Nudge was in my-"

'ANGEL!' The force of her name in her own head was almost enough to knock her out.

"STOP YELLING" Angel screamed both in and outside her head. Gazzy was panicking and Angel grabbed him by the shoulders to stop him from doing the same to her. "Get Fang," she said through her teeth.

Gazzy shook his head. "I can't leave you here."

"Yes you can. Get Fang! NOW!" She shoved him across the grass and Gazzy rolled into a standing position, looked wild-eyed at Angel, his eyes as wide as saucers, and then launched himself into the air. He pushed his wings hard and shot through the sky like a giant feathery bullet train. He almost crashed into the tree in the back garden but he scrambled to his feet and sprinted to the back door at full pelt. He yanked the door open. He launched himself into Fang's room. Fang wasn't there. Spinning around, he caught the door and sprinted down the corridor screaming Fang's name. Fang appeared in the door to the kitchen.

"Angel!" Gazzy panted. "You have to help her."

No more words. He turned on his heel and flung himself out of the nearest window. He turned back only to make sure that Fang as following him. He pushed himself to his absolute limit. He had to get back before- before-. He had to get back.

* * *

"Alright, our plan is very simple" Alex took control of the situation, the others clearly deferred to him in the same way the Flock had deferred to Max. "We're going to 'fling' your voice."

"Fling my voice? I don't understand." Nudge wondered if she was making a terrible mistake trusting these strange, grubby intruders. They were sitting in her living room and with her back to the fire Nudge was watching its light play over their strange, translucent bodies and trying to figure out how they could possibly have anything to do with her and the Flock.

"It's one of our… talents." Clarissa tried to explain. "It's like Angel's mind reading. Except as well as reading someone's mind, we can fill it with things too. Like Lily did to Max."

"You mean when she collapsed." Nudge said angrily.

"She collapsed because Lily was interrupted and the connection was destroyed. Usually that doesn't happen."

"Sorry, who is Lily?" Nudge asked, shaking her head in confusion. This was becoming too much for her to follow easily.

Alex stiffened and turned away.

"Lily was… _is_ our Maximum Ride." Clarissa said falteringly, her eyes flickering back and forth between Alex and Nudge. "She… is also being held at the ITEX headquarters. We believe she was trying to help Maximum when she was captured."

"So in other words you hold us responsible." Nudge growled.

"No" Clarissa shook her head.

"Yes." Alex spat vehemently. His burning hair writhed and whisked through the air like an out of control fire, but Nudge knew there was no breeze, it was moving all by itself. She realised in that moment that it seemed to be directly linked to his emotions.

"Alex!" Clarissa turned in shock to her 'leader' and Nudge watched as the tattoos on her arms and neck exploded into movement. The dark, against her pale as pale skin, made the markings even more striking as they shifted over her body in an unending pattern. Her hair, too, stood on end, its dark tresses snapping at the air like whips. It was a rebuke. Their emotions were visible not just on their faces but also in the movement of their hair. Clarissa also seemed to express herself through what seemed to be constantly moving tattoos. Fascinated, Nudge stepped forward with her hand outstretched as if to touch Clarissa's hair. Clarissa vanished. Nudge pulled back sharply and nearly fell into the fireplace. She noticed that the fire was practically extinguished by this point and the room was mostly in shadow. Clarissa was standing in the far corner staring at Nudge.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I wasn't actually going to- It's just so amazing, your hair, your tattoos, they're like an extension of your facial expressions. I've never seen anything like it in my life. But then poof you were just gone and… and … now you're over there… How did you do that?" Nudge couldn't stop talking; her mouth had gone into overload. They were all staring at her as if she were an alien. Which was weird because surely they were the aliens not her? Their huge, pupil less, black eyes were both disturbing and mesmerising.

"That is our ability." The smallest of the four said. She looked at they boy beside her and they continued in unison. "We are called Shadow Walkers. We have the ability to fade into the shadows at a moment's notice and reappear in another shadow anywhere throughout the world. We are vulnerable to the light. A limited amount of light is manageable but overexposure is lethal. You are shocked by our appearance. Do not deny it. We know. You are not alone. Many find our features disturbing, perhaps even shocking. Unlike you, we were not created to 'fit in'. However, it is not strictly necessary to be able to 'fit in' if one can quite literally blend into their surroundings is it?"

"Nick. Amber. Enough!" Alex snapped. He stared furiously at Nudge. "How do we know we can trust her? You're telling her how to kill us while we sleep and you've only known her a couple of minutes!"

"Generally, when one can read minds Alex, character judgement is not a major issue. The Flyer is trustworthy. The question that is pertinent at this moment is whether she will help us or not. That is what concerns us, not whether she is going to attempt to kill us in our metaphorical beds."

Nudge listened to this conversation with a healthy mix of curiosity and trepidation. "So how exactly would you go about flinging my voice?" She asked in the moment of silence.

"Ah, well," Clarissa glanced nervously at the twins and Alex, "you see. We're not entirely sure if it will work from here. But the twins, well, they think it's important that _you_ contact your family, not us. They feel they are more likely to believe the news coming from you than from strangers. On the other hand, we don't want to waste time travelling back to Florida with you when you are so close to Death Valley yourself. Ideally, we will be able to project your thoughts into the most receptive member of your family."

"Angel?"

"The very same." Clarissa nodded and moved closer to the fireplace again. "You see if we could get the message through to Angel that they must come immediately, they could be here in under a week."

"That's a long time." Nudge shook her head. "Too long. I can't leave Max in that place. Not now that I know where she is!"

"You can't take the place on your own." Clarissa said firmly. "And as we can't step foot in the place without immediate detection, you'd be completely alone. "

Nudge sunk her head into her hands. This isn't happening, she told herself; it's all just a crazy dream. A horrible, horrible dream.

"No." The twins stared at her. "This is not a dream. This is reality. You will have to wake up and face the fact that, for the immediate moment at least, there is nothing you can do except to warn your family and to bring them here."

Nudge nodded but she felt sick to her stomach. She knew it made sense, it would be suicide to go in alone, but her mind revolted at the notion of sitting around waiting when Max could be in real danger. She took a deep breath and calmed herself down.

"Ok," she stood up, "Let's do this."

* * *

**Alright, so that's all for now. It's brief but it's all I could manage this week because I'm rather snowed under, but we'll see how this goes from here on in. I can't guarantee any sort of regular updates, but I do hope to have this finished soon. Thanks again for all of your support. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.**

**P.s. On another note, sometime next year I may start posting a story on Fictionpress which I've been working on for a while. I'll post the link here in a shameless attempt to bring in more readers if and when that happens. **

**Much love and thanks, Cat.**


	68. We Must Proceed With Caution

_My Waking Nightmare_

_Chapter 68_

_We Must Proceed With Caution_

**Fang**

Angel was leaning against the base of a tree when Gazzy and I got to her.

"Fang, Nudge is… yelling… in my head." She winced. '_QUIET DOWN AND LISTEN TO ME!',_ blasted through my mind. From the look on Gazzy's face he'd heard it too.

"Sorry," Angel looked sheepish, "I'm trying to get her to hear me, but I think it's just one way."

"Don't worry about us just try to find out what's going on." I gestured to Gazzy to call Iggy and wondered why Nudge hadn't just used her own phone to call us.

Angel's face was scrunched up as she concentrated on Nudge and once again I stood around helplessly as things happened outside of my control. Max would have known what to do. My heart skipped a beat at the thought of her but I was managing to control my emotions again quite sufficiently. Without that small mercy who knows what sort of state I'd be in.

"Fang?" Angel's hand grabbed mine. "I think you need to hear this!" Angel's eyes were wide and incredulous. "ITEX know where we are. Nudge says we have to go now. To Colorado. She says… Fang, she says Max might still be alive."

* * *

**Nudge**

"Simply try to explain the situation to them as quickly as possible and then convince them to come here as fast as they can. Time is of the essence." Clarissa held my hand in hers as she tried to aim my thoughts at Angel all the way in Florida. I concentrated on Angel's mind and tried to feed her as much information as I could. Not that I had much.

"How do we know if it's worked? I can't hear anything from their end!" I was panicking but trying to hold it together, I mean, this was crazy. Everything about this was crazy.

"That doesn't mean that they can't hear you."

"But how will we know?"

The eerie twins spoke from the fireplace. "We won't."

"We're going to have to play the waiting game." Clarissa squeezed my hand. It was a nice gesture but not very helpful given that now I was experiencing her fears along with my own. Double the fear. Excellent. I felt super reassured. I was so glad I was putting the lives of my family in the hands of these random strangers who only half seemed to know what they were doing. I hoped I was doing the right thing. I tried to think about Angel some more, tried to reach her, I just needed to feel the presence of someone I knew. I needed my family.

"I think Angel got the message. But I'm not sure." I looked at these people I was trusting. I didn't even want to think about how crazy they seemed, or how divided they were. Alex, the guy with the crazy flaming head and the attitude, wouldn't even look at me. The twins, they had this intense, crazy stare, like Angel gets sometimes but a thousand times scarier. Then there was the tattoo girl, Clarissa. She seemed nice, but I'd met lots of 'nice people' and a lot of them had tried to kill me. I didn't even want to think about the fact that I may have just given them some kind of key into Angel's mind or even just my family's location. But if there was a chance Max was still alive? I had to do it. I was too tired to think anymore. I needed to get out of this room.

"I'd better get some sleep, they'll be a long time getting here." I realized I was being rude, I thought about asking the crazy intruders if they needed somewhere to sleep, if they even slept at all. Man this was just too weird. And then it got even weirder. One minute I was standing there psyching myself up to ask these freaky-ass visitors if they even knew what a bed was and the next thing I knew Fang was standing in the doorway. As usual, he didn't waste any time.

"I'm here. What's going on?"

"How-?"

"I can stop time. It has its uses."

"You can stop time and travel through space instantly?"

"No. I drove here, obviously."

"Obviously. You drove from Florida to Colorado. How long did that take you?"

"I don't know. A long time. No time remember? No night, no day."He looked exhausted.

"When's the last time you slept?"

"Technically last night."

"I mean actually."

"Does it really matter?" He shrugged, "You called. I'm here."

"Angel got my message?"

"Loud and clear."

"So you know about Max?"

"I know she _might_ be alive." He looked drained. Physically and emotionally.

"She is alive." The twins interjected.

"They're pretty freaky." Fang grimaced.

"I know." I was glad I finally had someone to share my unease.

"Trustworthy?"

"No idea."

"We're going with it?"

"You got a better plan?

"We're wasting time."

"I KNOW!" Alex's voice burst from the corner. Fang clearly hadn't noticed him yet but he wasn't thrilled by the interruption.

"Listen you-" Fang's voice was a dangerous growl.

"No, you listen! They have our friend too. She could be dead, she could be dying, we don't know, but we need to find her." His hair was all over the place, it was like watching a forest fire. It would have been intimidating to anyone except Fang. He just looked ticked off.

"Fine." Fang snapped. "We're in it together. Shut up so we can plan." He turned to me. "Why aren't you using your phone?"

"I was worried ITEX might be able to tap it. They knew where we lived, all of us. Detailed records of the last 4 years."

"Not good."

"Heck of an understatement." I stared at him. "Do you have a plan?"

"I intend to."

"That's a good start." Alex chimed in. "I'm so glad you've come with intentions of having a plan. Hallelujah."

I saw Fang's lip twitch. This was not going to end well.

"Alex, leave them alone. We need their help." Clarissa put a hand on the angsty redhead's shoulder. "We can't save Lily without them."

"Fine." Alex shrugged her hand off and glared at Fang. "But if they go in with some half-baked plan and she dies…"

Fang bristled. "I don't even know Max is alive. All I have is your word. Do you have any proof? Because if I find out it's a lie I will not be responsible for my actions."

I watched that quietly delivered threat seep into our new allies' minds. I knew it wasn't idle. Fang never wasted words. There was a noticeable pause and Clarissa looked to me as if she were unsure what to do next.

It was the twins who broke the silence. "She lives. For now. We need to move with speed but a botched attempt that alerts ITEX to our presence will guarantee their elimination. We must proceed with caution."

Fang glanced at me but I couldn't read the look in his eyes. "Right. Caution. Where are they now?"

The twins looked at each other. "Death Valley."

"I've got this." Fang nodded at me and then he was gone.

I stared at the spot where he'd been standing only seconds before. I saw Clarissa reach for him but he was already long gone.

This was not good. Not good at all.

* * *

**Max**

How many days had I been here now? I wanted to just let go but I couldn't shake the feeling that if I died, no one would remember my family. My family who died in front of me. Or did they? _Who are you?_ The question continued to haunt me. I was almost too battered to even process simple feelings like hunger and pain, never mind serious thought-provoking riddles like Angel's last thoughts. Angel or not Angel? Were those people my family or just decoys? I knew ITEX weren't above cloning a couple of kids just to kill them monstrously. I mean, that's exactly their style right? So why couldn't I decide? Angel or not Angel? _Who are you?_

* * *

**Lily**

I think it's coming to an end. I dream of darkness. It has to come eventually.

As of yesterday, I am blind.

* * *

**There are no words enough to apologise. 2 years is absolutely unacceptable. I'm sorry is unacceptable. But it's all I've got. **

**Here is Chapter 68. It's short, but at least it's something. **

**I hope my writing will improve again, I think it's more than a little rusty, but I wanted to get something up as fast as I could.**

**Again, sorry.**


	69. Overwhelming Silence

_**I am dedicating this chapter to Rayven49 because reviews are like gold dust, especially after all of this time. Thank you.**_

_My Waking Nightmare_

_Chapter 69_

_Overwhelming Silence_

I was nearly at the compound when the car ran out of juice for the last time. There sure as hell wasn't anywhere nearby to pick up last minute fuel so I resigned myself to walking the rest of the way. I was lucky I'd stopped time when the sun was down or I'd have been burnt to a crisp trekking through the desert. There was no way in hell I'd have been able to wait it out and let some time actually pass till I could travel safely. I wasn't in the mood to sit around. I'd had nothing but my own thoughts for company for the last few days and they weren't pretty. After all, either Max was dead, and this was all a waste of precious time, or I had failed her. The idea that Max had been trapped in ITEX while I'd been sitting around grieving… it didn't even bear thinking about. But, on the other hand, it would mean she was alive. I was conflicted. I couldn't decide which was better, Max dead, or alive but traumatised. There was every chance that, even if she were still alive, she'd be beyond help. ITEX weren't exactly known for their hospitality and Max- Max really didn't like cages.

While my mind turned over the possibilities for the thousandth time in as many days, I spotted ITEX's shiny white buildings in the distance. I didn't need a plan. With time stopped I could just walk straight in, pick up Max and leave. The other kid too, I reminded myself. After all, if those freaky kids hadn't come to Nudge, who knows if we ever would have found the truth. So I owed them one, but if it came to a choice, I knew Max would come first. She always had to come first. I was done limping through my days without her. If she was alive at all that is. I didn't know what to think. It was too early to hope. I'd find out soon enough though. ITEX was only a few minutes away, no time at all, literally.

When I arrived at the front gate I ignored the two frozen guards staring straight ahead in their small outhouse and stepped under the barrier. The next layer of defense was more intricate, several gates leading into different buildings, each defended by unnaturally large individuals. So unnatural that I spared them a second glance. ITEX had been busy. They were some kind of hybrid, that was for sure, but sleeker than the erasers of my youth. Didn't have any wolf-like qualities either, but there was certainly something about them. I didn't get too close but their skin looked coarse and thick. Some kind of elephant hybrid? I didn't know and I sure as hell wasn't sticking around to find out. These were problems to deal with some other time. Right now I had to find Max. I picked a building at random figuring I had to start somewhere. I pulled out the shears I'd brought with me and made short work of one of the fences. ITEX must have been putting a lot of faith in their new hybrids to protect the place because their physical defenses were insanely flimsy. I spared one last worried glance at the hybrid closest to me and suddenly hoped my oh-so-handy power didn't have any kind of natural stopping point if my body got too worn out, because if it did I was definitely pushing that limit. Only one way to find out, I certainly couldn't do anything about it now. I was too far in to back out so I stepped through the fence and headed for the nearest building.

It was strange inside. Everything was dark and rusted, completely at odds with the shiny, white exterior of the place. The creepiest thing about travelling in stopped time is the overwhelming silence. Nothing anywhere makes noise unless I interact with it, so when I'm not touching anything there's this deadly quiet. I could hear nothing but the sound of my own heart hammering and my ragged breathing. It makes you overly aware of yourself, of your body. You don't realize just how much noise you personally make until it's the only sound in the world. I get that other people can't relate. There aren't many people who've ever experienced it. I'd been suffering this sound deprivation for days. It was slowly driving me mad. But here, in this darkness, that silence suddenly became eerie. I wanted to get through the place as quickly as possible, so I hurried my pace, which only made me notice my footsteps ringing off the far away walls. The room was huge, like an air hangar, and so dark I couldn't see any of the edges. It was as if this building were just one giant room. Maybe it was. What on earth could ITEX be keeping in here? Why would anyone build a room this size, only to keep it in this kind of condition?

That was when I saw it. Sitting in what I thought was the far corner was a huge dark shape. It was hunched over itself and facing the wall, so I could only see its back, but it was enough to know that it wasn't normal. It had fur, I could just about make out its fuzzy outline, but all colour was obscured by the dark so it could have been purple for all I knew. More disturbing than the fur were the tens of long pointed spines sticking out of what I was assuming was its back. I couldn't stop staring. Whatever this was, it wasn't natural. Curiosity took hold of me and I took a step closer. I wanted to see its face. No, I needed to. Then I did something crazy. I dropped my hold on time. Just for a second.

The smell of the place hit me instantaneously. The stench of damp mixed with droppings and wet fur clogged my nose and sent me reeling. Something worse than that overpowered it all though, the smell of infection, of disease and rotting flesh. The thing in the corner suddenly jerked its head up. It had smelt me. I forced my mind to focus, to forget the nauseating smells and the sounds of the thing's labored breathing. Then it turned to look at me.

Its face was twisted with anger as it turned with a roar towards me, but it softened almost immediately as if I was not who it had expected. It pulled back slightly, as if it was frightened of me and it winced in pain. I could see that its arm, or leg or feeler or whatever it was, was broken. Its face fell from anger to sadness and when its eyes met mine I felt the full force of its despair hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't need to be a mind reader to see that this creature needed help.

Help. I remembered suddenly why I was here and stopped time instantly. If the guards found the hole in the fence while I was standing here with this thing I'd have a harder time getting Max out of ITEX. But this creature, this thing in front of me, all of my compassion reached out to it and I couldn't just leave it there in the dark. It had a way of looking at you that just shot right to your core. I had to do something for it. So I stepped closer and when nothing happened I reminded myself that time had stopped again for this creature, I could approach it with no fear. So I took a deep breath and walked right up close to it. It had a face almost like a monkey with huge eyes and a certain humanness but it also had something of a bear in it and two sharp saber teeth hanging from its mouth. It had horns on either side of its head that curled around like a ram's. Its body definitely reminded me of an extremely large bear, except for the spines protruding from it, which looked like some part of a porcupine. Its claws were long and pointed but it definitely had an opposable thumb and just to confuse matters it had light scaling on its chest like a man might grow hair. It was like something out of a nightmare and I would have been terrified had it not been for the expression on its face that drew me in. This was a creature full of loss and sadness. It could feel. In the moment its eyes had touched mine this creature had filled me to the brim with all of its feelings, it hopes, its dreams, like some kind of reverse empath. It was terrifying, but at the same time it woke in me an intense desire to save it.

But I couldn't. Not now. I had to save Max, and never mind that I needed to carry her time-frozen self out of this place as well as this other kid, if I ever found her, there was no way I could move this huge behemoth on my own. And given what I'd seen of the guards, I was too weak to fight my way in and out of this place to save it in real time. So it was out of the question. Completely impossible. Couldn't be done.

But I couldn't just leave it there. I couldn't just walk away. I knew what it was to be caged. Nothing deserved this. If I couldn't save it my way, I could at least give it the freedom to save itself. I moved around the creature, loosening the shackles and chains that latched it to the wall. I wasn't sure if it could walk on its two legs or needed all four so I inspected its injuries. He was soft to touch, strangely so, considering how matted and dirty his fur was. I found the wound that I had noticed him hiding on his side and I used the kit I had brought with me to disinfect it and bandage it as much as possible. I found a piece of wood nearby and braced his arm as well as I could. I hoped it would hold. I didn't know how this creature would react to the sudden appearance of a sling, but I hoped it wouldn't frighten it too much. I gave the beast one more glance as I repacked my medical kit. It was time to find Max.

"Good luck buddy." I saluted him and turned to go. "You're going to need it."

I left the doors wide open on my way out.

* * *

**I know it's pretty short, but I wanted to get something uploaded sooner rather than later. **

**I am focusing a lot on commas at the moment. Let me know if you spot comma-related mistakes. I seem to have a mental block where commas are concerned!  
I started this story as an angsty teenager. I like to think I have grown up. Let me know if you like the writing, or if you don't. Constructive criticism will always be appreciated.**

**Thanks for your patience, I swear we'll get to see Max next chapter. I've been planning the next chapter for about 6 years. It all leads up to this. The whole story was written for this one moment. I hope it's good...**

**Cat **


	70. I Don't Even Know Your Name

_I Don't Even Know Your Name._

_My Waking Nightmare_

_Chapter 70_

_**Nudge**_

"We have to go after him. NOW." Alex growled and threw himself into the shadows. I watched him blend and disappear almost instantly. Clarissa glanced at me.

"We have to follow him." She grimaced apologetically, nodded to the twins and moved towards the shadows herself.

"Wait!" I grabbed her shoulder, felt her fear and adrenaline shoot from her skin to mine and make my pulse kick into overdrive. "You can't leave me here!"

"We can't take you with us either." She removed my hand gently and squeezed it sympathetically. "We've got to help our family – and yours."

"Would you rather he only have Alex for assistance?" The twins chorused archly.

"No – I – I just can't sit here waiting." I floundered, looking for a solution.

"Neither can we." Clarissa replied simply and took a step back into the shadows. The twins joined her and my uninvited guests melted into the inky blackness.

"NO!" I shrieked. My fear became rage. I lashed out, grabbed the nearest object and hurled it at the place where they'd disappeared. I turned over a chair and kicked a stool into the fireplace. I worked out my anger on the room, until finally, all of the emotions, inflicted on me tonight with every touch, had drained out of my body and I lay sobbing on the floor.

After a few deep breaths I managed to pick myself up, drag my sleeve across my soaked face and make decisions with a clear mind. I dug my laptop out from under the overturned table and threw a silent prayer out to whatever god had kept it from harm throughout my hulk tantrum. I couldn't get to ITEX on time, but there was one thing I could do to help. ITEX was about to get hacked. I just hoped I wasn't already too late.

_**Fang**_

I found myself in yet another long, empty corridor. This place was full of them. I kept turning corners and wondering if I was just wandering down the same hallway over and over again. It was overly bright like the rest of this thrice-damned facility, full of white reflective surfaces and lights that shone just that little bit too intensely. After travelling at ten o'clock in the evening for over a week now, my eyes were suffering from the sudden adjustment. I was beginning to sprout one hell of a migraine and the sleep deprivation was kicking in but, after what seemed like hours of wandering, I was pretty sure I had found some kind of control room. I swept my gaze over the CCTV screens but there was no sign of Max. I couldn't exactly access the computers without restarting time, so I had to destroy them the old fashioned way, i.e. massacring any wires I could get at. You never knew when a few minutes work might save your life. A principle I'd always lived by.

I found a plan of the building on one of the desks and searched it for a detainment area. That's where I was going to check first. If Max wasn't there – I might have to face the labs. But I'd cross that bridge if I came to it. First things first. The plans showed a detainment cell right in the centre of the facility that was completely sectioned off from the surrounding buildings. It seemed like the perfect cage for your most powerful enemy. There was no question in my mind that if Max were alive, that's where I'd find her. I stole a pass off one of the desks, just in case, and forged onwards into the belly of the beast.

It didn't take me long to find the place I was looking for, but once I got there I sure as hell didn't find what I expected. The cell was not only completely separated from the rest of the facility - it was ten foot beneath it. I had no idea how to get down there. I mean, the place isn't exactly full of signs and it wasn't like I could ask one of the many people frozen around me. So I circled where the room should have been a few times and tried to figure out what to do next, getting more frustrated by the second.

That was how I found the little girl.

It wasn't like I did anything special. I was just tapping all of the walls looking for some kind of Scooby-Doo secret entrance or something and then suddenly this kid's voice was in my head. _Fang._ Just that, nothing more.

'_Angel? Where are you?'_ I shook my head, confused. I only know one little girl who could do this and surely she was on the other side of the country, where I'd left her?

_No._

'_Then who-?' _I was on my guard immediately

_Friend._

'_OK, if you're a friend then why are you hiding?' _

_Stuck._

'_Stuck? You're stuck? Where?'_

_Down._

I felt my stomach drop._'Oh. You're stuck... all the way down there? Alone?'_ I touched my hand to the wall. It was a meaningless gesture, but I was overwhelmed with a sudden wave of sympathy for this girl, trapped underground, with no hope of escape.

_Yes._

'_But - if you're down there - then where's Max? Do you know Max?'_

_Map._

'_No, Max.'_

_Map._

'_What? What are you trying to tell me?'_

_Touch._

'_Touch what? You're not making sense.' _My migraine was getting more intense as the conversation continued. The concentration required to form questions in my mind was only exacerbated by the fact that this girl couldn't seem to form any coherent sentences.

_MAP._

The word hit me hard and I stumbled, putting my hand on the wall to steady myself as I tried to make sense of her words. Only then did I notice the small plan of the facility on the wall. Maybe… I reached out and touched the map with my finger.

_Cold._

That was it. This kid was smarter than I was giving her credit for. I began to hope again. I moved my finger closer to the detainment area.

_Cold._

Damn. I inched it towards the labs.

_Warm._

I winced but moved my finger more determinedly towards the labs.

_Warm._

I put my finger directly on the lab marked Avian.

_There._

I took a deep breath and steadied myself. This could only get worse before it got better. There was only one reason to keep Max in the labs and it wasn't a good one.

_Save._

The voice's presence started to fade but I reached out to it. I had so many questions.

'_How did you know? How did you know where Max was? My name? Angel's?'_

_Friend._

'_But who are you? I don't know you.'_

_Hybrid._

'_Like us?'_

_Different._

'_That's why you aren't frozen in time? You're different? Immune?'_

_No._

'_Then how?'_

_Dying._

I realized what an effort she was making to talk to me. Using the last of her energy to push individual words at me. Trapped in the space between time and nothingness. I had come across a bird like this once, on the brink of death when I stepped out of time, trapped in the space between. It was in pain and it's breathing labored. It shocked me so much to find something unfrozen that I lost control. Time restarted and the bird died.

'_I'm so sorry. You know once I shift back into real time - '_

_Yes._

A memory stirred in the back of my mind of another girl I was meant to be saving. A young girl, trapped by ITEX. One who might just be able to travel into people's minds.

'_You're the girl they're looking for, aren't you?'_

_Looking?_

'_Your family. Those four kids with the black eyes. They're looking for you.'_

There was a long silence. Had I gotten it wrong? Was this someone else? Did she even know who I was talking about?

_Tell._

'_What?'_

_Tell._

'_Tell them?'_

_Yes._

'_Anything.'_

_Sorry._

'_I will.'_

_And. __Love._

'_Yeah. I'll tell them.'_

_Thanks._

'_No, thank you. You've saved Max, you and your family. And all I can do for you is this.'_

_Enough._

'_I don't even know your name.'_

_Lily._

'_Lily. That's a beautiful name. Thank you Lily.'_

_Welcome._

'_I – I'm sorry we had to meet like this.'_

_Yes._

I was lost for words. I didn't know what to say to this little girl who was dying. Not only that, but the very moment of her death was in my hands. My actions would decide whether her half-life was prolonged any further or extinguished. I could do it in an instant. I had complete power over her existence. I didn't want that responsibility.

_Please._

I was terrified of my power in a way I had never been before. It repulsed me. I was living through the dying moments of a girl I had never met. Listening to her final thoughts. Feeling her emotions brush against my mind, her fear, her pain, but also her peace.

_Time._

'_You- do you want me to – to let you go?'_

_Please._

I panicked. Nothing in my life had ever prepared me for someone asking me to let them die. Nothing. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't think straight. Then this little girl just said one word that made it impossible for me to refuse her request.

_Tired._

In that one word I felt all of the heartache and the pain of her last few weeks. It was filled with all of her aches and her twinges, her sleep-deprived body and her sensory-starved mind. Most of all, it conveyed her readiness to let it all go. All she wanted was a little peace.

'_You're sure?'_

_Yes._

'_Ok. I can- I can do that for you.'_

_Good. __Thanks._

'_Goodbye Lily.'_

_Bye. __Fang. __Luck. __Love..._

I closed my eyes and concentrated on letting time slip forward by just a second and I felt Lily's consciousness disappear from my mind. Taking a deep breath, I steadied myself. I would grieve for the girl I never met later. Right now I had to get to Max. My headache had reached a heavy throbbing crescendo and my body was beginning to protest the physical strain of travelling through this strange timeless zone. It might not be long before it gave out entirely. I had to get us both out of here before that happened. I scribbled the map directions down on a notebook from my bag and started running in the direction of the avian labs.

Labs. We all hated them. They were the heart of our not so delightful childhoods and nothing more than brightly lit torture chambers. I hadn't been back to one in God knows how long. My heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to explode. I felt like I was going to be sick. Max had spent the last few months in a lab. How would she ever forgive me? How would I ever forgive myself? Please be alive. Please be alive. Please be alive. I think I'm going to vomit. Max was in a lab. I'm going to a lab. Please be alive. Please make this be worth it. Don't be dead. Don't be dead. Please just don't be dead.

* * *

**Sorry for the long wait again. I had finals and then a badly timed stint of writer's block. I'm still not totally happy with this but I just wanted to get it up so I can start on the next chapter and to show that I am listening to those reviews asking me to update. Thanks for the encouragement, it always pushes me out of a bout of block! Hope you guys enjoyed this one. We're saying goodbye to my first original character so it was a little emotional for me. Sorry if I got overly sentimental. Till next time, same bat time, same bat channel. Cat out.**

**Edit: Forgot to give big thanks to Guy and Rayven49! As my only current reviewers I really can't say enough how much I appreciate the support. **

**Anyone who wants to make my day can drop a review or even just favourite the story. I get a little email letting me know and it just makes me all warm and gooey inside. **


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